Greenleafy
By: Calypso
Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, I'd be living in the million dollar house; not cleaning it.
Summery: Elladan and Elohir pretend to play matchmaker and suffer the consequences when Legolas and Arwan catch on to their game. Prequel to "What Shall We Do With a Drunken Ranger." REWRITTEN
AN: This is set when Arwen is only about 1000 years old. That said; please remember that the OTHER CHARACTERS are also younger which is why they may seem slightly ooc. And before anyone asks 'where's Aragorn' please think about the question. REWRITE PRECOMES PROMINENT TOWARDS SECOND HALF OF FIC!!!!!
I apologize for the too-human dialogue.
~ ~ ~
Alas dear Prince you do her wrong
To glance away so easily
For we had long hoped you would come
And fall for her immediately
Elladan and Elrohir stood in the great hall of Ilmadris on either side of their father, awaiting the imminent arrival of the Prince of Mirkwood and his royal entourage.
Half a century ago, the twins had met Legolas while visiting Mirkwood and taken a liking to him immediately. Unfortunately, as their particular brand of affection usually involved pranks they had initiated a vicious cycle - ending with Legolas getting the last laugh via a pretty elf maiden with a devilish soul and a not-so-secret crush on the fourth son of Theiandrell.
Still not quite over Legolas' prank, the twins were determined to make Legolas' visit to Rivendell as 'memorable' as their own visit to Mirkwood and at last the two had come up with a plausible way to make this happen: Arwen. Sweet as the summer breeze when she wished to be but dangerous as a hellcat when incensed; and the twins fully intended for Legolas to find their sister just so.
Briefly they exchanged a glance before turning their eyes upon Anwen in a seemingly synchronized movement. From the balcony upon which she stood, Arwen rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her brothers; relaxing back into a more ladylike expression when she heard her father audibly clear his throat below. At that moment, heralds rushed into the hall to announce the arrival of the royal party.
As the handsome prince led the representatives of his father's court into the hall, Arwen felt herself begin to blush. Eager to catch his eye despite herself; her brothers had been practically singing his praises – and teasing her mercilessly about the possibility of her falling in love with the visiting prince. Being young and impressionable, this teasing had planted seeds of romantic fancy into Arwen's mind – which was exactly what it hand been meant to do.
Greenleafy should be her beau
Greanleafy should be in love
Greanleafy with his heart of gold
And who but our Prince Greenleafy
"Come on Legolas, you had no aversions to pretty faces in Mirkwood." Elladon coaxed Legolas with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
When the dull ceremonious welcome speeches ended, the young men and women had flooded out of the great hall while their elders remained indoors. The twins, who had been standing closest to Legolas had quickly caught up with him, pretending to eagerly herd him toward their sister.
"She's only our sister after all, come meet her!" Added Elrohir with the same look on his face as his twin.
As the two had expected however, Legolas eyes were already clouded by love – of a completely different kind. "Ilmadris is more beautiful than I had imagined it." He murmured in a soft silky voice. "I'm going to go climbing… these trees call to me." As if entranced Legolas walked away from Elrohir and Elladon, stepping into the woods as they watched him with well-practiced dumbfounded expressions.
Turning to the side the two saw Arwen standing slightly apart, her face holding an angry flush.
"Are you alright Ser'noth?" They asked simultaneously, voices thick with almost-perfectly-sincere concern.
Arwen fixed her brothers with a look. "Of course. I've only been ditched FOR A TREE!" Stomping her foot unattractively, Arwen walked away from her brothers in a very un-elf-like fashion.
Our men clothed thee all in green
And they did ever wait on thee;
Oh thou was gallent to be seen,
And yet she wouldst not love thou.
"Legolas!" Surprised at how well the first part of this 'trick' had gone, Elrohir had followed his friend into the woods, eager to set his 'prank' while Arwen was still angry. Climbing up into the tree after Legolas, Elrohir mumbled something faintly to Legolas about honor, how easily offended women were, and then bodily hauled the prince to the ground before the elf even had a chance to react. "Now," he said cheerily, "Let's get you changed, charming, and ready to smooth down a few feathers."
Still confused, Legolas followed his friend, barely managing to piece together that he had offended Arwen as they walked into the guest quarters. Though he was not sure what he had done to upset the elf maiden so, Legolas was eager (as always) to make what amends he could, allowing Elrohir to tell him what would please Arwen.
Once in his rooms, Legolas allowed himself to be subjected to Elrohir's 'suggestions'. Which included his hair nearly being pulled out of his head by a servant's clumsy attempt to comb it, his neck nearly wrung as an inept servant tried to fit him into a ridiculously fancy green tunic, and his quiver of arrows replaced by a more or less decorative sword.
No one mentioned that Arwen despised fops.
Greenleafy should be her beau
Greanleafy should be in love
Greanleafy with his heart of gold
And who but our Prince Greenleafy
When it was all done, Legolas found himself hauled down to the study where Arwen sat regally in a chair, Elladon standing behind her. As Legolas walked in, she gave him only one icy glance.
As the prince bowed and Elrohir attempted to make introductions, Arwen opened her mouth and loudly told Legolas, "My brothers are fools to think you charming. Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina." In the shocked silence that followed, she swept calmly out of the room. Over Legolas' head, the twins exchanged interested glances - certain that Arwen would make he rest of Legolas' visit more interesting than they could have. Though neither twin would admit it, Arwen was the better of the three siblings when it came to extracting revenge - from concept to execution her plans were flawless in the simple fact that she had NEVER gotten caught.
Standing where she had left him, Legolas only blinked. "Elladon, am I hearing things or did your sister just say that I'm ugly and that my mother dresses me funny?"
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
But still thou hadst it readily
Thy trees to climb and from to hang
And yet thou wouldst not love her.
Attempting to escape the twins and embarrassed beyond measure, Legolas had quickly shrugged off the clothing that Elrohir had put him in and changed back into his travelling clothing before disappearing once again into the woods. Quickly scaling a nearby tree, Legolas didn't realize that someone else was in it until he swung himself onto the branch – and the person who had been on the branch off of it.
"I'm so sorry!" Dropping down to the ground himself, Legolas was about to make even more apologies when he realized that it was Arwen he had pushed… a crying Arwen. Wordlessly, he handed her a handkerchief. Not noticing who had offered it, Arwen took it.
"I hate him!" She muttered, "Who does that Prince think he is? Embarrassing me like that?"
"Me!?" Legolas squeaked indignantly. "You're the one who insulted me! And did you think I LIKED being dressed up like a toy soldier?" Seeing whom it was she was talking to, Arwen rose to her feet speechless. Unable to think of what to do, she pulled Legolas' hair. "OWW!" Had Legolas been any less of a gentleman, he would've resorted to physical violence. As it was, the two settled for a yelling match.
"Spoiled, know nothing princess…"
"Pretty boy elf…"
"At least I don't have hair like a dwarf!"
"Go kiss an Orc!"
"Self absorbed, empty headed, - ."
"You finish that sentence and my Ada will kill you."
For a few brief seconds there was silence as the wrath of Lord Elrond hung over Legolas' head, stilling his tongue as he tried to avoid the smug look on Arwen's face.
"Spoiled brat." He at last muttered under his breath.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am - this is ridiculous. I refuse to argue like some silly human child." As Arwen cut off with an angry flush, Legolas actually laughed. In that moment she had looked exactly like her brothers. Suddenly, Legolas' mind ground to a halt. Her brothers.
"Arwen, would you're brothers have anything to do with why you're so mad at me?" Legolas arched an eyebrow, and was met with a confused look.
"Elladon and Elrohir? But - " and suddenly it all made sense.
With narrowed eyes the two glanced at each other, converging on the same thought simultaneously. "We've been set up."
Greenleafy should be her beau
Greanleafy should be in love
Greanleafy with his heart of gold
And who but our Prince Greenleafy
The twins of Rivendell had an unsettled feeling in the pit of their stomachs. Arwen and Legolas had come walking back from the wood together - whispering and smiling at that. Elrohir and Elladan suddenly realized that somehow their brilliant plan had misfired.
During supper, Arwen and Legolas had insisted on sitting across from each other. Their behavior had been so friendly that rumors of a royal match were being whispered by all before dessert even made it to the table. When the meal was finished, the two had also dismissed themselves earlier than expected within minutes of each other - setting the royal rumor mill on fire.
Mildly alarmed, Elrond had withdrawn to his study with Erestor; calling in the twins when he realized that neither he nor his chief counselor knew the foreign prince well enough to judge his character.
Ah Greenleafy now farewell adieu,
The years I hope will be kind to thee,
For she will be thy lover true
Come once again and love her.
Dawn broke early the next morning, the entire royal household was astir. Elrond's solution to the previous nights oddity was a royal hunting party. Mildly suspecting Legolas of dishonorable intentions (despite his both of his son's assuring him otherwise) he intended to observe the young elf as they went hunting today. Unfortunately, elves not being creatures of whimsy in the same manor that humans were, this last minute decision set the household upside down and topsy tervy. The twins it seemed, suffered the most from this upheaval.
To begin with, the two had found their wardrobes filled with clothing in awful shades of pink and fuchsia - clothing that had been ruined a fortnight ago by a clumsy laundress. The rest of their clothing was missing and there were no servants available to locate them. The two had attempted to borrow each others clothing but when they realized that they were both in the same situation, the twins resigned themselves to looking ridicules, finding relief only in the knowledge that their hunting habits would cover up the majority of their clothing.
When the two went down to breakfast together, weathering stifled laughter and wide eyed stares along the way, the day only got worse as the scullery maid had accidentally spilled pig slop into their breakfast. Neither noticed Arwen and Legolas exchanging smiles and amused expressions at each other over their heads.
At last, deciding that the two had suffered enough for one morning, Legolas took pity and drew Elladan aside just before the hunting part was about to set off. "I noticed your odd clothing this morning… I take it the laundress made some sort of mistake?" Elladan didn't answer, the truth beginning to dawn on him ever so slowly. "If it is not too presumptuous of me, I will gladly offer the two of you my wardrobe to choose from."
Elladan politely declined the prince's offer, not bothering to point out that the prince was much more slight in figure than he himself. Walking inside he sought out his twin only to find Elrohir already cornered his sister - who was also dressed to go hunting. Slowly her voice drifted to him across their father's library.
"If you EVER try to set me up again, Ada will find out what you really do on those detours you take to and from Mirkwood - I won't hesitate to make sure you NEVER engage in those sorts of activities again!"
"Arwen!" Elladan broke in, pretending he had heard nothing of Elrohir and Arwen's conversation, "I belief Legolas is looking for you." When their sister had left the twins glanced carefully at each other.
"When we get back from this excursion…"
"… it's gonna be war."
Greenleafy won't be her beau
Greanleafy won't fall in love
Greanleafy has a heart of stone
And who but our Prince Greenleafy
Fini
AN: Ok, so it's not as funny, but the purpose here was to set up the second part of the first story…