Chapter 1

TOBIAS

"How are you Tobias," Evelyn asked me. I started to answer with my typical 'I'm fine' response but before I could get a word out she added, "I mean how are you really?" I sigh. It has been three years since Tris died and I still can't seem to get over her. I still haven't even looked at another girl. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever get over her. Or want to. I wasn't sure I actually wanted to move on. How could anyone compare?

"I'm getting there," I answered eventually. She came over and placed a hand on my cheek gently. She continued to look better and better. She was much more vibrant since she spent time away and has been much more loving since that day she chose me. She actually seemed like a mother to me now.

"I know Tris and I never got on, but I also know how much you loved her. I wish I had given her a chance instead of being so stubborn in thinking I knew what was best for you despite not even knowing you. I was so sure she wasn't good enough for you," Evelyn said, regret making her eyes shine with unshed tears. I was a little surprised at her, she had never until this point shown any regret or sadness that Tris hadn't made it out that day.

"I would have liked her to see you like this," I said, and swallowed the lump in my throat. I kept focusing on the fact each day was getting slightly easier. I preferred when people stopped asking me how I was doing, but it was what normal mothers' did. And when people mentioned her I was torn between wishing they hadn't, then feeling guilty because she certainly deserved to be mentioned and then being the opposite and wanting to talk about her all the time.

I meant it though, I was mending. We were all mending together. Christina and I were continuing to forge quite a strong friendship. We laughed about some of the things Tris had said or done, though it wasn't often we talked about her. It was far too painful. Now I wondered why I had never liked Christina in the first place, and completely understood why Tris had liked her. She was forthright, blunt and completely unthinking sometimes, but she had a great heart and always tried to do what she thought was right.

"I would have liked that too," Evelyn said and in a completely non-Evelyn fashion, crushed me to her in a bear hug. I hadn't cried over Tris in such a long time, but for whatever reason, this undid me now and I blubbered like a baby. "Oh son," she said and tried to soothe me. She rubbed my back softly but all I could think about was how I missed the feeling of Tris' arms around me. I had never loved anyone before Tris, and wasn't sure I would after her.

I finally slowed my breathing, and calmed myself down until I was just hiccupping. But I knew my eyes would be red. I took deep breaths and slowly pulled myself together. "I'm sorry," I said softly but Evelyn shook her head.

"Don't ever be sorry for letting out your emotions or not being so damn macho," she said and I almost laughed. "Especially not around me. How's your work with Johanna going? You seem to be enjoying government? I still don't trust politicians though," she added and this time I did laugh. I was still fighting with my words instead of guns though occasionally I did miss the combative side.

"I am enjoying it. So far we are all working together to ease transitions between different locations and work on equality for everyone. It has been quite peaceful so far and I am relishing it." Though we no longer had factions, there were still the same essences of excellence. Those who were always studying and focussed on knowledge, those who were charitable and leaned toward improving conditions for all, those who were agricultural and held a sunny disposition, our law makers and truthsayers, and then those who preferred and active, combative type life including our police force.

The difference now was, that there was no factions, no limit on who you could and couldn't see… and that the lives of the people were by choice. Anyone could change their focus at any time and it was more integrated into a typical style life. There were no "factionless outcasts" or "Genetically Damaged" people in the fringe. We were all equal but had different passions and were free to explore them.

Anyone could be elected into government but had to have worked their way up through the government system, as I was. That only meant that someone random off the street was unable to apply for a government position without learning the ropes beforehand.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it. Though I do see you looking at George with some envy when you see him out training the troops. I think you miss it," Evelyn said and I looked at her surprised. I didn't know she had noticed so much about me. She'd never been quite so observant, or if she had, hadn't been as vocal about her observations.

"I do miss it sometimes. But I am enjoying what I am doing for the moment. I feel like I am making a difference. Now, can you tell I've been crying?" I asked her after a quick glance at my watch. I was meant to meet Christina for lunch in ten minutes. I needed to get going.

"No son, you're fine. I will see you later," she said and left. I took another deep breath, pushed Tris to the back of my mind, and left as well, heading out of my apartment and down the street to the café. I walked quickly the café and wondered why I was rushing when Christina was always "fashionably" late. I sat down in a booth where I had a nice view out the window and waited for Christina to arrive.

"Hey Four," came a voice and I looked up. It was Zeke. Things between us had finally gotten back to where they should be. I still blamed myself to a degree for Uriah's death, and I missed that kid. I had let Zeke get a good hit in, as I had when I left with Caleb that day and since then we let bygones be bygones.

"Hey Zeke. How are you?" I asked and he just grinned.

"Loving taking these pansycakes through their training," he said as one of the police trainers with George. I always knew he would be good at that kind of stuff. He seemed to have a knack for coaching and had always helped Uriah and the others.

"Hope you aren't trying to be too Dauntless," I said and grinned back.

"No Four, it isn't anything like that. But we do want them tough and they have brought back the fear landscape, though now it is used purely as a training tool to help them get a grip on their fears," he replied. I had already known they brought back the fear landscape with the serum. I had been part of the council that approved it. I thought it was a good experience to face one's fears.

"And how is it going with the recruits?" I asked, I was keen to hear how they were coping through it.

"Similarly to how we did," Zeke said. "The first time freaks them out but they are starting to get a grip on them."

"That's good. I was hoping that would be the case."

"Anyway Four, I better get back. George will kill me if he doesn't get fed soon," he said and laughed, gesturing the big bag of food he was taking with him. I laughed.

"See ya Zeke," I said and he left. I glanced at my watch. Christina was now fifteen minutes late. Nothing unusual there. I leaned back in the chair and kind of zoned out, listening to chatter around me and staring out the window when my heart started pounding, my palms started sweating and my mouth went dry. It couldn't be.

A small blonde woman close to my age walked past. She was the same frame, same height, same walk as Tris, wearing tight black pants with multiple pockets in the legs, and a blue V necked shirt. And she had tattoos though I couldn't see what they were. Were they the same? The hair was the same colour though it was longer than it was when she had died. Closer to the length it was when we met and it was braided as she had worn during her initiate training. As she glanced up at me as she walked, with me gaping at her open mouthed, she smiled at me just like Tris smiled with the same colour eyes as Tris. I jumped up and ran outside and collided with Christina.

"Did you see her?" I asked her frantically, looking over her head down the street. I couldn't see Tris anywhere.

"See who Four?" she asked me, staring at me oddly. She was unused to seeing me this way – frantic, insecure, neurotic and emotional.

"Tris," I uttered and she sighed and took my hand, leading me back inside.

"Come on Four, let's have some lunch." She obviously thought I was hallucinating or having a break down. I looked once more along the street but saw no one that looked like her. What the hell was that? It was not enough of her, and at the same time, it was too much. Her mouth, the warmth of her body, the feeling had when I kissed her…

I sighed.