I used to think I was somewhat aware when it happened- a splatter of blood next to my head and then a presence. Dark, soaked through hair tickling my nose, and then nothing. They say Kakashi soon found me, and i would sit, sometimes wondering what he was thinking in that moment- not killing me, but just the same ripping out my soul quite easily. My brother, my friend....

I used to believe he said something-I could sometimes hear whispers from my memory. Maybe he apoligsed- maybe he spoke some truth to try and tell himself it wasn't wrong- to leave me there. Or to leave us, Sakura and I, Kakashi and the rest of the Leaf.

Sometimes, i thought he did something. Maybe placed his forhead against mine, perhaps that was what caused the burning of the skin in that area during my dreams of that day.

Maybe he kissed my cold, wet cheek, freezing from the rain and the water and the lack of life- lack of chakra. Or a touch of his fingers.....when he dropped his headband lext to me.

At night, I used to remember many things, some I knew were false, some I thought could be true- visions of him saying he actually meant something...to visions of a soft touch....to just nothing.

I KNEW him. We were so close- as I lay there, I believed things could be fine again- because he wanted to be back, he wanted to be loyal to the village and the team- and me.

But now, I know how foolish I was. As I stare at his cold, lifeless eyes, wide open and brimming with bloody tears, and thin trails of his life running out of his mouth, ears....I knew he had not meant anything but exactly what he said- and did. And now, as I slide down the wall, clutching the wide hole in my stomach, I know that what I once silently begged of whatever god there was was not true- never would be, now.

For my Kunai lay in the back of his head, his chest torn apart by my Rasengan, so quickly delivered he hadn't a chance to counter with his Chidori. But I had my own injury, and soon I would join that cold man, and he with me.

I had not come to kill him- it was another try at what had failed years ago.

Maybe I did it to see if I had been right.

But now, as I gasp and let out a last breath- I know, forever shall I be next to the man that had meant nothing I wanted him to and everything I had not.