I haven't told anyone, but after the whole wedding incident, he didn't go away.
At first, I didn't believe it, didn't know it was him. He just messed with my head without revealing himself, but I accidentally caught him on film when I took a picture of a still life in front of a mirror.
The game was up by then. Now he hangs around in person. Not constantly, but he pops in now and again, usually through mirrors and reflective surfaces, always at the most inconvenient times possible. He says I owe him. As much as I hate it, I suppose I do.
Deal's a deal.
So instead of being married to a ghost, I'm just plain haunted. I wonder which is worse.
I swear, I hate him. I hate him and everything he does.
I hate not being able to dress in front of a mirror, or check my makeup without the chance of a pallid apparition popping up to bother me.
I hate his stupid poltergeist tricks... Flickering lights, drained batteries, random levitation. I lose and find pens and coins and keys and various bits of junk by the dozen. Most of it isn't even mine. I wonder how many people he steals from to fill my sock drawer with pennies. Speaking of, I haven't had a matching pair of socks in months.
I hate being constantly hit on and called every form of overly-masculine slang or pet-butchering of my name imaginable. I hate how it's gotten so bad I find myself answering to "Babes."
I hate how there's no warning to when he comes and goes, how he appears and disappears with no rhyme or reason and I never know if all find all my bedroom furniture rearranged or a gruff voice greeting me with a "Hey, Babes!" next time I reach for my compact or even an overly-shiny doorknob.
But what I hate most of all, more than the pranks and the bad jokes and everything else, is how much I miss him when he's not around.
This was a gift-fic for mangekyou kakashi, for a prompt to the tune of a list of how Lydia hates Beej.