"Do you think he did it on purpose?"

"We don't know," Dean took a sip of his beer and leaned back into the chair.

"You called the angel?" In response, Dean leaned forward to continue the conversation.

"Yes Bobby, I called Cas but apparently he has better things to do."

"So, you're telling me you drove 800 miles here with that," Bobby frowned glancing at the sleeping child. He couldn't be more than three or four years old.

"We mentioned your name and he just flew us here. He didn't even bring baby," Dean griped. Bobby didn't reply. The silence was permeated by clicking of the keys on Sam's keyboard.

"You find anything," Dean turned his attention to his brother.

"No," Sam said defensively.

"No need to be so sensitive," Dean chided.

"It'd help if you didn't ask me every five minutes!" Bobby huffed in amusement in the background.

"What?" Dean asked accusingly.

"You two are worse than an old married couple."

"He zapped us here just because we talked about you! We need to figure this out before he does something really crazy," Dean reminded him.

"Well, unless he talks to us, we're not getting anywhere. I've ruled out his vessel being deaged because it seems like his cognitive ability has been affected too. But he's an angel, Dean, an archangel, I don't think he'd want this," Sam said sincerely.

"What if this is some sick, twisted lesson he's trying to force on us? What about mystery spot?"

"Well Cas said that angels don't need to sleep or eat, and I'm guessing if they don't eat, they don't produce waste. Whatever he is now, it's not an angel," Sam saw Dean wince at the reminder that, yes, this was most definitely a child that was most definitely sleeping not twenty feet from them. A child that had already decided toilets were not worth his time.

"He's not going to sleep forever," Bobby interjected. "Maybe you should think about finding a solution before the inevitable happens."

"Okay, deaged vessel ruled out, he could just be drained of power." Dean frowned at that so Sam continued, "He's proved he can change the appearance of his vessel, but what if it's always changed. He could be possessing a child and just make it look like an adult," Sam suggested.

"Like anyone would actually choose to be that small," Dean snarked.

Gabriel must have heard that because he did stir in his sleep and a blanket appeared on top of him. He curled into it and resumed his deep breathing.

"Dammit, why'd you have to bring it here?" Bobby grumbled.

"Where else would we go? We can't just take him to hotels and shit," Dean defended. Bobby left the room, he didn't mention where he was headed.

But before Dean could think too hard on that, there was a low toned rustle behind him. Relief flooded through the hunter; they were finally going to get answers.

"Cas, thank God," Dean said as he turned around. "We needed you man, we've got a serious problem," Dean pointed to the nest of blankets on Bobby's couch. Cas didn't say anything but he did turn to glance at the sleeping child seeming uninterested.

"Where were you, I called like six hours ago!"

"I had no news to share," Cas replied.

"Cas, we've been over this, even if there is no news you still communicate the lack of news."

"So you're here now, I take it there's news?" Sam broke in.

"This is Gabriel," Cas answered.

"No shit this is Gabriel, you have anything else to share?" Dean scoffed.

"Dean, all of the Heavenly Host assumed he was dead. Other than the knowledge he is alive and here, no one really knows much more. Gabriel didn't stick around with the other angels," Cas fired back.

"You have to know something else!"

"I would have told you if I did," and just like that, Cas vanished again.

"Dammit."

They'd determined he was closer to three than four which was actually not helpful at all. After they were completely sure Gabriel was in a deep, deep sleep, Dean and Sam had gone to Walmart to pick up some things for Gabriel.

"Dean, I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if it's black or green, let's just grab the stuff and get out of here." Sam was getting uneasy, two men wearing boots and large jackets in Walmart was odd enough, let alone in the children's section.

Dean wasn't listening. He pulled through the miniature outfits on the rack until he found a green one in Gabriel's estimated size. Nodding with satisfaction, he put it in the cart and they moved into the next aisle.

"What do you think three year olds eat?" Dean's open ended question drew the attention of a wrinkly old woman.

"Pardon me, dearie, but I couldn't help but overhear. A three year old is not a baby," she glanced at the bottles and formula in the cart, "so you can get rid of those. They eat mostly what anyone eats, but smaller amounts," she smiled kindly at them.

"Thank you," Sam replied.

"Oh, you're quite welcome, I understand it's hard to raise a family when you're both men, it's the least I could do."

"Right, well thank you," Dean smiled uncomfortably as they parted ways. They made a hasty exit after that.

"Cas, I need you," Sam yelled. He heard the ruffle of feathers and wasted no time shoving the child into the angel's arms.

"I'm a warrior of God, Sam, I have other things to be doing."

"Of course," Sam nodded profusely. "Dean's helping a hunter about 60 miles from here, it should be a one day job-"

"So you need me to retrieve your brother," Cas frowned, unimpressed.

"No, no! In fact I'd prefer he never know of this, but do you think you could..." he gestured to the crying child. Cas touched the infant's forehead and the room fell into silence.

"I am busy, Sam, please don't call again unless it is an emergency."

"Of course."

He heard the trademark wing rustle which faded into a consuming silence. He sighed and fell back into the couch.

"He's crying, why is he crying!?" Dean was practically ripping his hair out.

"We just fed him like 20 minutes ago!" Sam comisserated.

"Where the Hell is Bobby?" Dean asked. He felt bad imposing on Bobby's hospitality, they hadn't seen much of him since they'd arrived and Dean hadn't wanted to push him out of his own house, but where else was there to go?

"He went out for more beer earlier," Sam informed him was he desperately tried to quiet the child.

So far Gabriel hadn't talked, he woke up crying and was rocked to sleep crying. He was physically old enough to talk, maybe development worked differently for archangels?

"Okay, maybe he's bored. Go pull up a movie or something from youtube," Dean said as he took Gabriel into his arms.

Sam did as he was asked and searched for something suitable for a child. He doubted Gabriel would care what they watched but he still had grievances showing violence to a child.

"Hey, Dean, so this one," Sam began as he walked into the room only to be hushed by Dean.

"What did you do?" Sam whispered in frustration and awe. Dean just shook his head and motioned for Sam to leave before he disturbed Gabriel.

Things with Gabriel got better. He had meals eight times a day, smaller portions and frequent eating were supposedly better for him. Sam would go out to acquire food since neither brother possessed much proficiency in the kitchen. After meals they'd play a game of how-many-things-can-Gabriel-make-appear-out-of-nowhere. Gabriel was, unsurprisingly, the winner everytime. Then later Dean would somehow get Gabriel to quiet down and fall asleep.

He'd spoken his first word and it was repeated with vigor afterwards. Sam had been trying to feed him vegetables for dinner and Gabriel had crossed his arms and said no. It was his new favorite word.

He didn't speak much beyond that, though, still communicating like an infant. It was annoying at best and rage inducing at worst. But overall things were going well, Dean really enjoyed taking care of Gabriel, and Gabriel seemed to enjoy being taken care of by the older Winchester, much to Sam's chagrin. Being liked by a three year old wasn't a big deal until a three year old didn't like you. Bobby wasn't around much, he went on a hunt with Rufus, obviously not suited to being a babysitter. But things were getting pretty settled overall, which is why everything had to go to shit again.

"This is not the Gabriel I knew."

"Jesus, Cas! A little warning next time?" Cas frowned at Dean's request.

"So how is this Gabriel different," asked Sam. Cas walked over to where the infant was sleeping and put his palm over the child's head.

"Expergiscere Gabriel archangelus nuntius dei. Ostende te!" Cas spoke. Gabriel stiffened, "Shut your eyes," Cas commanded. Dean and Sam did so, but through their eyelids whey could see the blinding light of an angel's true form. The air crackled with electricity and the room vibrated. It stopped as quickly as it began. Sam and Dean opened their eyes and before them stood Gabriel in his regular vessel.

"Thanks for that Castiel," he said perky as ever.

"What the Hell was that?" Dean asked. Gabriel was about to explain so he added, "Simplified version."

"I severed my grace into two."

"You can't just do that!" Sam objected.

"Samalamb, when will you learn... anything's possible with me," he smirked.

"I can assure you I believed it to be impossible until recently," Cas volunteered.

"You humans sure have some creative people! JK Rowling had the right idea!"

"So you just split your essence into two? Wasn't that, extremely painful?" Asked Sam.

"Extremely," Gabriel confirmed. "But now I'm twice as hard to kill!"

"And you being a child before?" Asked Dean.

"My grace was 'sleeping' in this vessel, resting up. It's hard bisecting your very essence!" Dean wondered if he'd seen anything that went down outside his vessel.

"The answer to that question is yes. You make an excellent mother considering..." Dean was back to wanting to rip this guy's wings off. "Wouldn't have it any other way! Although I'd give Sam a 2/5 on parenting. You called Cas in, just to get me to shut up?"

"You did what?" Asked Dean.

"You heard him. What would you give Cas?" Sam tried to direct the attention away from himself.

"0/5 he was never around! Kids who feel abandoned are more likely to do drugs, get pregnant, join Satanic cults... Not your best work, Cas." Cas had the nerve to look affronted.

"And that's my queue!" He snapped and disappeared.

"Dude," said Dean.

AN: Originally posted on tumblr for the fic request I got for my birthday. It was fun to write so I thought I'd upload it here too! I promise I'll update Just Another Day in the Cage soo! Disclaimer: I don't know anything about parenting so I made stuff up. This turned out longer than I thought it would be, hope you enjoyed!

The enochian Cas says to Gabriel is actually Latin and according to Google translate, it means "Awaken, Gabriel, archangel, messenger of God. Reveal yourself!" I made up the phrase but Google did most of the work :)