Being Okay
You remember meeting him your first week of freshman year, and it took a few seconds of mind processing on your part and scowling on his for your head to get fully wrapped around his being. His hair had seemed to be an abyss of pure dark nothing with no light reflection visible in the strands. The bluish green skin markings wrapping casually around his fingers and up into the sleeves of a jacket. The boots that seemed too big for a grown boy to be walking around in. Your thought process looked a little like this; Ha-ha, whoa, avoid him! Wow, scary. Probably failing classes. Wow, look at those piercing! Hey wait, you can't get tattoos in high school right? Goth. Goth. Goth. Emo? Goth. Scary, eyes are scary. Be the sheep, keep with the flock. Ow my neck, my neck!
So. Badass.
You had been snared in a trap of awe and admiration when he hadn't even seen you walk by. That is just how amazing his charisma was back then.
It was off putting at first, and slightly mortifying, to learn that he had been the guy Aqua always told you about back when you weren't a freshie. Vanitas, the kid that put Vicodin in the ketchup containers on senior prank day his sophomore year. The guy who arranged a bunch of kids in a circle to chant "Fight! Fight!" only for it to be discovered that it was only a thumb wrestling match. The one. Who got juggled between South and North because the teachers just weren't sure what to do with him. You had been so well informed of his reputation, spoon fed his legacy at a growing age of twelve and onwards, only to learn he was a monster of the outer ring that looked bent on destroying humanity.
He was Cthulhu. It was him.
Only not because gosh, the first time you meet him in person he fucking hugs you. Like you're his prodigy, or his own offspring, or maybe the spawn of Satan. He was only a head taller than you, much shorter than your friend Terra, who was a senior as well, but he felt so much larger than life. You almost guffawed in horror, picturing only a single blonde strand being left behind as your were absorbed into the dark astral plane of his existence, but caught yourself because only you were perceiving him as such. To everyone, and past you, Vanitas was just a slack off punk breezing through his last year of parental indulgence.
If only the world could have felt how frightening that hug was for you, then maybe it could have given it time to prepare for the end that was to come.
"Aqua," He cooed, swinging yourselves around so he was facing your friends instead, and you didn't fail in not getting pulled in by the odd voice he was using, "Why didn't you tell me the freshmeat was such a fuckin' tootsie pop huh? I would have bought him first!" Bought? Dear god your in slave trade now, fuck your life. Aqua lied to you, high school does suck major monkey balls.
But thank the lord she's a saint, because she pulled you back by your collar and patted you down into your designated lunch seat, "Vanitas, Ven is Terra's and my adopted child, go find another freshman!"
"Fuck that, they're all brats!" He crosses his arms and sneers in the direction of something or other. You're flattered, really you are, but is it impossible for these people to read reactions? Is your face not in the correct shape of terrified? Do you need to frown more? Why are they still talking like he's not supposed to be in an asylum?
"That's why we put Ven in lay-away, we knew he'd be grade-A shopping gold for all you grandparents," Terra winked at you all from across the table, and you'd of blushed if it wasn't for the fact Aqua and Vanitas were doing enough for all of you.
Wait what? Was that gay you just detected? Why yes it was, it seems to be everywhere. Wow, you're learning so much on your second day!
"Dude, shut it up, you're making me feel old. I may have been a little indulgent when adopting kids my sophomore year, and yeah, there's the fucking grandkids they all got for me, but I'm only 18 for fuck's sake," How is he so popular? "And tone the wankin' down would yah? You've got an allie and a twink over here ready to tap your ass just about."
You looked up to Aqua, whose hands hadn't left your shoulders, and whose breasts were still well encasing your portion sized head. She smiled down at you for a millisecond before swinging into mildly ticked off and turning a stare to your own personal demon, "Hands off my man, Vani! Bro code!"
He looked scandalized for a minute, and you take the time to notice a small glint in his opened mouth before he continues, "But Aqua, it's Bros before hoes. I've known you since I hit on you in fifth grade and you called me a raging fairy duster! What happened over the summer, huh, start your menopause?"
Terra was cackling at the other end of the round table, and you were starting to become aware of all the attention that was being gathered. Aqua couldn't stop grinning either and she was practically an award winning actress when it came to holding back emotions. You never knew your friends to be so… scandalous before.
Were you really being kept so far in the dark?
What does high school do to people?
No, you don't think it's the school. In fact, it's pretty obvious that nothing was wrong with them at all. Their words still don't sting, the air around them was still coded with a sky blue feeling of easiness, and the only difference was the wide spectrum of feeling you're picking up from the guy who practically smells like apocalyptic doom.
You had sat there in your new personal seat in a lunch room filled with drowsy, envious, drama fueled teenagers, and every other three seconds his snake eyes would pierce your wavering aura of fuchsia and cerulean. You second guessed yourself two million different times about that day, but you're absolutely positive it was your fault he never left you alone. If only you hadn't glared at him like a newborn chick and more like a mountain lion, maybe he wouldn't have kept hugging you like every second that passed made it seem like he'd never get another chance to do it.
Meanwhile, three weeks after formally meeting the abomination, it's still happening. Future you is still being coddled, and it's just as terrifying as the first time you'd been swept up by him.
"Hey Veny, still the squishiest I see!" You cringe into the band logo on his T-shirt and wish for the power to melt. The peanut gallery table doesn't care as much as the first few times he greeted you with a threatening hug, but you at least hope Aqua or Terra sent you a sympathizing glance. You can't see shit, but you can imagine it happened. It's all you really have.
He releases you from a death grip and you sway backwards before being pulled down into a chair by another intimidating senior you haven't seen before, "Every time you terrify this kid, he's gonna' get yer chair."
"Terrify? Hey now wait just a second-"
"Vanitas, every time your around Ven practically pisses his pants," Larxene drawls from the table down the row, "The least you can do is listen to Xiggy and give him your chair!"
You have just found your new best friends. These people understand you. They know of the true horrors this man posses and have given you a small ball of light. It beckons…
Vanitas bends down despite the eye rolls of your new friends, and squeezes his arms around your head, "Aw, I was hopin' every time he tensed up like that it was just the beginnings of a stiffy or somethin'."
The pout is evident in his voice, and the mile long gaping frown is present on your face. Everyone probably would have laughed at something like that, but instead all you hear is a deep booming chuckle from behind you. Your eyes are nearly popped out of their sockets when Vanitas squeezes your head tighter, but it loosens after a second and oh hey look the world is still here. So is your blush, "Dammit Marly!"
"The king, he hath returneth!" Aqua declares lightly from across the table, waving her hand in the air and swishing her loose sleeves before returning to her lunch. You hear the guy that placed you in this chair mutter something like, "More like queen if you ask me," and that starts another argument between him and Larxene and you are just so confused who is the royalty here?
Before you can turn around Vanitas places his elbow on your head in such a way that you can't move it, and now you're being left in the dark again. Your bangs poke you in the eyes, and the resolve you had is completely gone so you just sulk in the chair you were placed in. Hungry and alone. You feel like a shadow is engulfing you from the head down, like every other time he touches you, and the tingling urge to wipe your face won't leave until he lets go. It oozes out of him, and onto anything that he's touching, contaminating the area of contact. To you he is literally the slime of the Earth and it will stain you before you even reach Sophomore year.
"How are you even in here right now, shouldn't you be at college or some shit?" He asks, leaning himself on you.
"No, I'm leaving college for next year, maybe. At the moment I'm saving up for a summer long road trip around the country, and I was hoping to invite some of my old High School pals," The man speaking has the vocal capabilities of a thundering god, and you think he could reach presidency with just his voice, "I snuck in through the patio. I swear, nobody sees shit around here, but they're increasing security right?"
"Yeah, some dumbass snuck out to McDonalds and back during his study hall," Terra informs from your side, "Funniest kid on the face of the planet, I swear to god. He came charging in from the lobby with a bag full of French fries and chicken nuggets and just threw 'em all onto two tables and said 'Dig in!'."
"Needless to say we all went for it," Vanitas mutters, and you feel him shift onto another hip. The invisible sludge slides down your cheek and you cringe as Aqua scoffs from across the table, "He got suspended for two weeks and then he'll be going to South for a month."
"Sounds like a good time," The 'King' chuckles, but it sounds so humorous it might as well not have even happened, "So, as I was saying. Road trip. This summer. All over the U.S. Who wants me?"
"Since the day I was born," Vanitas scoffs and his head shakes. That must have been his answer because he turns back around to hold your head with both arms again. God, this is bullshit!
"Who the hell is standing behind me?" You ask. You tried to sound demanding, really you did, but it just comes out as a hissing whisper that derives a barking laugh from the guy currently clutching your skull. He finally lets go, and you're about to turn around yourself, but he tips your chair back with one hand and holds you upside down.
"This," He gestures with his other arm towards a really tall guy oh Jesus, "Is Marluxia. You may bow down now."
"Ven, don't listen to him," Aqua orders, and you glance back at her, but the other guy's presence is so overwhelming. Not to mention the royalty you are currently being bent over backwards for.
"Aqua, you can deny all you want, but we all know in private that everyone at this table worships the guy," Terra mutters, sinking lower. Vanitas gives off an impish smirk before placing your seat back down on all fours. You clutch at the table for good measure.
"Good to meet you," Marluxia intones, and your hair is being swished forward by what you hope is his hand and not someone else's, "Ven right? You coming this summer too?"
You kind of don't want to do anything this summer like usual, but you guess- "Of course he's coming!"
"I am not!" You turn left in your seat to argue with him, but the surprised look you get sets you off a little and you're not sure what to say now.
The shock turns into a mock frown, "Now why not?"
"Uh."
"That's a terrible reason."
"Ven, you should go, it'll be good to meet everyone," Terra suggests. You turn to stare at him, and it's easy for you to smile again because there's something about Terra saying something sensible every once in a while that makes all the idiocy around you feel like it'll go away at some point. He has his way of bursting through a conversation's climax and pouring all of you down the slope of resolution.
You bet he ignores everything else that happened before that split second of being sane though. He isn't that great.
"Yeah, I think I'll be going too," Okay, so you're pretty sure Larxene called him Xiggy, but it's probably just a nickname, "By then my hair should be about the length of Jesus."
Aqua barks out a smooth airy laugh from across the table and puts her spoonful of fruit down, "Xigbar, if you get your hair to the length of Jesus, I'll grow mine out to the end of my neck."
Terra whistles and gives an eyebrow waggling glance in your direction, "Hasn't been that long since we were ten."
"Pretty lady," Vanitas chimes from… somewhere. You glance around, behind you, to the side, to- oh shit!
You can't deny it, the little 'Eep!' you made when you realized he was under the table staring your crotch down, was pretty fucking stupid. So stupid, in fact, you wish you could have stopped the narration of your life there with the words 'And then they all died, the end', but life has to suck a little more before you can just off yourself like that. Everyone cackles and you shiver in contempt. Nothing new.
So instead you agree that, yes, you are going on the road trip this summer. So is everyone else and there grandparents. Marluxia and Vanitas end up stalking away at some point, and section four lunch ends without a bang. You leave later than everyone else because you hadn't eaten during that stressful fifteen minutes of your life, and you only have one minute to rush yourself to the second floor on the one side of the hallway without a staircase next to it.
And life was going so well until you started finding your voice in this school.
"What are you doing?"
He was tip toeing his way out the door near the staircase, and he turns in just the right way so that you get a simple glimpse of the black inscriptions rolling their way up into his sleeves. You glance back up to see a silver glint flicker as he opens his mouth to reply, stops, tries again, "C'mere."
"Uh?" It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order, and you still really have that flight urge whenever you're around him. Fighting isn't an option because you learned that makes him more attached. You should write a manual on how to get by with a devil beast stalking your presence. As soon as you learn to communicate head on.
He sighs, slumping his shoulders in his poised tip toeing position, and lunges backwards in order to grip your wrist in a death lock. Your eyes widen, and for a split second you debate yelling in the direction of the five foot distance between yourselves and the attendance office, but then you think about how stupid that is and let yourself get dragged into the heated summer air. You stumble along as he flings you into a bricked corner of the school wall, and your backpack smacks your lower back so hard your knees buckle and you let it fall to the ground off your shoulder, "O-ouch!"
"So Xiggy has my bass in his truck wanna' help me get it? Of course you do Ven!" He flings his arms in the air for a second before grabbing you around the neck and dragging you towards the student parking lot. You manage not to flail, but the shivering is involuntary at this point. You feel the ooze seeping into your neck, your hips whenever you step with your left foot, and your hair because his hand is there and just… augh.
You let yourself get dragged to the middle of the parking lot towards a slightly intimidating silver truck that looks like it hasn't been washed since obtainment. Vanitas lets go of your head to reach into his back pocket and pulls out a wring covered in way too many keys. He glares at it for a few seconds, and it starts to feel awkward for you so you glance in the direction of the school.
There's always this slightly terrifying thing about being anywhere not in the school during school hours, but this time it's accompanied by the dread of being stabbed and left for dead near a dirty truck.
You blandly glance back at your captor to find he is flipping through every key and jabbing it into the lock of the back seat's door. After a few more seconds of staring emotionlessly as he gets more and more determined to open the door it finally clicks and is… urged into a cracked sort of opened. You can only get a hand through.
"God fucking dammit all to hell!" He grumbles, glances at you wearily, and starts tugging the door the rest of the way open. You sigh, it creaks, there's a muffled cough to the side.
"Shit!" Vanitas ducks his head down, looks over his shoulder, and pulls the door as hard as he can to get it to open. You've tensed up almost ever inch of your body and you shakily glance back to the school to see an attendant making his way towards the parking lot. Your forehead creases in worry, and you keep glancing back and forth between the man and Vanitas who finally wretches the door open and grabs your collar to haul you inside the truck.
"Wait, no, what-" You begin to protest, but he shushes you and clambers onto the floor of the truck not already occupied, "Shut up and stay low!"
"But," you have no idea why you're talking right now, "I- ok."
He seems a little off kilter, and you're processing just about everything at the moment, but just after you notice your entire body shaking from how tightly your muscles keep clenching you also realize, "The door! Close it!"
Vanitas makes a choked noise as he attempts to turn around in the small space of the floor, and you try so hard to not get yourself into these messes. You really do, but this is just too risky of a situation. You lunge forward, into his chest, and reach under his arms for the door not even open half way to wretch it back with both your body weights. He wobbles a bit when you pull back, and the door almost gets stuck again, but he pushes you down while putting one of his hands on the door and you're able to get it slammed stuck again. The shock of you hitting the floor rocks the truck a bit, and you both topple down and sit tense while listening for the attendant.
You can hear your heart pounding in your ears, and you can feel it thrumming between both of your chests, but the boots outside getting closer and closer seem to pierce through it all. You both lay there for a moment of silence before Vanitas shakily lifts himself onto his elbows and peers out the windows.
You take this moment to observe everything once again. Like back when you first saw him. It's bright outside, and the light beats heavily through the windows, but you still can't see an ounce of it being reverberated from his dark hair. Up close he's less of a mystery and more of an unimpressionable guy who doesn't seem to have a label grand enough to be placed upon him. You never denied the fact that he looks kind of cool, and the amazing stories from middle school are still echoing in your head. If it wasn't for the fact that his personality throws you completely off your rocker and his presence sets you off on so many levels that your inner corporation shatters at the drop of a pin. Or the glance of a devilish eye. You would probably drop to the ground and bow to him instead of Marluxia.
He's still tensed up above you, and you shift your arms up to twiddle with the sides of his jacket that are hanging off the both of you. Your head falls to the side and a cough registers from outside.
"…I think he's in the car right behind us, but it's too small so he can't see in," He makes a shaky grin after glancing down at you and for a second you look back and see him falter with something. He pulls his lips in, and you turn your head back to look at him without the impending feeling of absolute destruction rolling from your guts.
He sighs through his nose and looks to the side, "Uh, listen, is this a bad time to apologize for something? Because I'm not really too good at this kinda' thing."
You reach a hand up to rub your eye, and try to focus on him with everything you've got. At least the sun isn't getting to you, "What is it?"
He scoffs, lightly, and you smile for a second before forcing it down so he can continue, "You know… freaking you out. I guess? I mean, I never wanted to make you so uncomfortable, it's just," He hasn't looked back at you yet and you are so happy for that, "You're so damn touchable man."
Pff, okay. You giggle a little. He scowls at you, not for real, and it makes you chuckle a little more, "Touchable?"
He shifts, being the uncomfortable one for once, and sighs deeper, "Shut it. Just, like, I'm sorry, 'kay? I know your straight, or at least I've inferred as much," You blush trying to remember a time this week your sexualities come into question, "So I must be kinda' creepy. I suppose. Didn't think I was being that off putting."
"It's fine," You mumble back, completely relaxing into the floor beneath you. You let a light smirk spread over your face when he finally looks down at you, "I am a very attractive guy so I can't really blame you for wantin' it."
He gapes at you, but recovers nearly as quickly as Aqua would have and gives a sardonic smirk right back to you before moving his arms to rub his hands through your hair. It didn't seem as terrifying as it would have two days ago, and it's sort of relaxing you into a state of unawareness you haven't been in before. The floor gets uncomfortable, and you attempt sitting up on your elbows. Vanitas even takes some of his weight off you, but then you remember. Oh shit the attendant!
You both turn your heads towards the back window to see absolutely nothing, but when you look back Vanitas is staring straight foreword out the window above your head. You freeze in place before slowly arching your neck back to see what's exactly ruining this for you. His hands mold into your head and neck as you both stare out the window at the pale face of the school attendant as he stares back. Nobody moves for a few minutes, and it's almost as if he's never been in a situation where he's found two teenagers potentially doing something awkward and teenagery in the back of a truck before. Then slowly and deliberately the man looks away, turns himself around, and marches himself around the truck and back towards the school. Both of your eyes follow him as he walks jerkily back towards the school, and at last you both fully sit up and slump against the back seats.
It takes a moment for you to unclench yourself again, and your muscles are still jittery, but god damn that was kind of hilarious. You start laughing hysterically for a few seconds before getting it under control and just… guffawing into your hands. This is the most awkward day of your life.
Vanitas sighs shakily for nearly the fourth time today, and slumps forward to place his head on your shaking shoulder. You chuckle airily one last time and just grin until he finally pulls back up.
He's smirking again, "So I've been thinking…"
…
"Surrogate father?" Aqua asks incredulously from across the lunch table. Terra hasn't moved since you'd arrived, and Vanitas is grinning just as menacingly as he had the day you formally met. You shift around in his lap for a second and his arms tighten around your waist, as do yours around his shoulders. You're trying to get used to the touchiness of high school kids. It's going fine.
"Yeah, you know, for whenever you and Terra aren't around Veny can just be mine!" He says it in such a possessive way you almost want to remind him about your conversation in the truck. He'd decided on his own that he liked you. A lot. You were pretty okay with that. You don't… like him back per se. Just… when he touches you. You're okay with it. To an extent.
Terra and Aqua both give you a withering look, but you just shrug and gnaw on the corner of your lip. You didn't have a better way to describe what you're feeling than that you're okay with it.
You still think he's going to cause the destruction of the entire planet some day though. Oceans will rise, people will burn, building will crash, and mountains will crumble. It'll be cataclysmic and terrifyingly beautiful, but you guess if he likes you enough by then you could stop it from happening.
Maybe with a kiss.
"Go on Ven, tell 'em, we resolved everything and you're okay with all the hugs and gooey crap now right?" He grins up at you in a way that makes it not look like a grin at all, and more like a sinister smile with the words fuck all imprinted on his front teeth.
You twiddle with the hairs on the back of his neck, and stare out the window in comfortable bliss, "Yeah I guess I'm okay with it."
A/N: 'Sup my kitties? So after about three years of nothing... I am back. Hello. Anything new happen while I was gone other than ten pages in my OTP's category showing up? But no seriously what do you think...? ~Neko03