Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters, even though I wish I did. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX.
Plot: Finn has three months to live and writes his feelings about the situation in a Journal
This is my first attempt at any kind of fan fiction. So if it's bad let me know so I can make it better down the road.
Some things you should know before reading:
1) The disease that Finn has will be a made up one and I'll go into further detail about it in later chapters.
2) I'll try to update a least once a week if not more if I can
Three Months
Chapter One: A man's thoughts
"When I think of you I have to breathe, because the mere thought of you takes my breath away."
I feel like such a girl doing this but my mom says it will help me in the coming weeks. How I don't really know but my mom's never wrong and I trust her so I'll give it a shot. Just got back from the doctor's and all the test results have come back.
I still can't believe it. Seems like yesterday I was on cloud nine. Rachel finally said yes to us being a couple. I did everything I could to win her back. It required lots of thinking and let me tell you thinking isn't for me, my head never hurt so much in my life.
Being with Rachel makes me feel special. It's like she see's something in me that no one else can. She makes me want to be better, to improve on everything in my life. The thought of Rachel makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. When she smiles
at me, my knees go weak and my love for her grows. That's why it's so hard to tell her. How is someone suppose to tell the person they love, their soul mate that they're dying? I wish there was something I could do but all the doctors I've visited have
all said the same thing. Three months to live at best. If someone told me last week that I had three months to live I would have laughed in there face, now it's hard not to cry. I'm not afraid to die. My dad died when I was a baby, but a least he died a
hero. I on the other hand won't be dying a hero or a High School graduate. What I'm most afraid of is Rachel, how she will react when I'm not there to look after her. I know Rachel and she will be devastated and heartbroken that I'm not there. She acts
strong, but she isn't prepared for this, hell I'm not prepared for this. The thought of leaving her all alone makes me feel ashamed. I know it's not my fault but still. We were supposed to get married and have a couple of kids, buy a house and live happily
ever after. I guess it's true what they say, happily ever after only exists in fairy tales. Hopefully she can move on, I don't want to be the reason why she didn't become a star. She's already a star to me but to be a Broadway star she has to be committed.
My death should not effect that, even though I think it will. On a side note I can't believe I've written so much, think I wrote more in this journal entry than I did all throughout High School. The hardest part is telling her. Part of me doesn't want to, but
that would be selfish and our relationship is built on trust. I don't want her looking at me differently though and she will when I tell her. She'll look at me with sadness, despair and worse of all with regret. Rachel will regret not getting together with me
sooner. Having the chance to be with me for longer then she had. She will blame herself for going out with Jesse, even though she had every right to. Rachel will say she should have chosen me instead of him and we could of have had an extra couple of
months together. But her choosing Jesse is what made me realize my feelings for her in the first place. Without getting rejected by her, I wouldn't have realized that I love her, more than anything in the world. The next three months have to be perfect,
not for me but for Rachel. Nationals are less than three months away and I hope I'll be able to perform. Before I die I want to win Nationals for myself, everyone in Glee and especially Rachel. We've come this far and I'm not going to blow it for her. Well I
guess for my first journal entry this wasn't so bad. Maybe my mom was right about this journal thing after all. Anyway I'm going over to Rachel's house now to tell her. I'll let you know how it turns out in my next entry.