Ouran High School Screw-Up
Chapter 1: Apocalypse
"So… why are we here again, Tamaki?" Haninozuka Mitsukuni asks. Suou Tamaki, of course, replies with his normal energy.
"To observe commoners in action!" He smiles and looks triumphantly around the food court.
"Please get off of the table." Ootori Kyoya pushes his glasses up his nose, accenting his severely pissed-off face. He does not like being woken up at ten in the morning—how preposterous! It is a weekend, after all—to go on a little field trip to the goddamn mall.
"Aww, but Mom!" whines Tamaki, using the pet name the club has for Kyoya. Tamaki is their "Daddy," so Kyoya must be "Mommy." Haninozuka is called "Honey," Morinozuka Takashi—who is staring glumly around with his classic expression on his face—called "Mori," and the twins referred to as… well… the twins.
"Get off. You're making commoners stare." Kyoya is messing with his cell phone, so he doesn't notice Honey, the shortest of them and clearly the cutest (despite the fact that he's the most deadly), skip off to a pet store. And since Mori is trying to keep the twins from setting a whoopee cushion under an elderly woman's multicolored moomoo-clad backside, he doesn't notice Honey putting a small hand on the glass of the bunny exhibit. And since all four—Kyoya, Mori, Hikaru, and Kaoru—are fighting to get Tamaki off of the table in the food court in the mall, none of them notice the short, adolescent girl walk over to Honey, lean down, and begin to talk to him.
So, essentially, none of them notice the end of the world.
"Whoa, where'd Honey go?" the twins ask simultaneously. Mori takes off like a dart after his self-assigned charge and Tamaki leads the procession into the commoners' pet store.
"Takashi!" Honey is the only one that calls Mori that. "Yuki let me hold this bunny! It's so fuzzy!"
He holds up a small black bunny, barely the size of his child-sized hand. Looking at him, you wouldn't believe that he's a third-year high school student.
"Hmm." That's about the extent of Mori's vocabulary. Kyoya, however, isn't looking at the bunny or analyzing Mori's speech patterns; he's observing the slim girl drowned in a pet store uniform standing by, white hand prepared to catch the bunny if it fell. She has a sweet, heart-shaped face, with big eyes and hair that falls over her shoulders in curls like ink.
She glances up at him, sensing his gaze, and then at Tamaki.
"Oh no. No way." She straightens and runs a hand through her hair. "I didn't think that he'd be in with you people."
"Us people?" Tamaki asks. He's always the first to defend the Host Club, but Kyoya doesn't know how this girl working in the pet store knows about it.
"Yes. You people. The 'upper class.' Biggest load of bull I've ever heard." She shrugs and leans down to be at Honey's height. "Hey, you ready to put him away?"
"What do you mean? What's wrong with the upper class?" Tamaki wants to know as the girl takes the baby rabbit and sets him gently in its container.
"Oh nothing. You're all just bastards who think you can manipulate us because you're a few dollars richer." When she straightens, Tamaki is still more than a foot taller than her, but her matter-of-fact stare breaches the distance and makes him feel like taking a step back. "And before you ask, yes, I really do think so, no, I won't go on a date with that friend of yours who keeps staring at me like a pedophile, and yes, I do want you to get out of the store. Have a good day."
"But Yuki! I wanted to buy the bunny!" Honey's eyes get that misty look to them and Kyoya waits for her to cave and comfort him. He's still stinging from the pedophile comment, so wanders over to look at the snakes lounging under a warming light.
"Oh, that's right, here. He's a cutie, isn't he?" But Yuki's voice stays cold, even as she smiles at him. "The register's over here!" She lets Honey take her hand as she leads him to the counter, but sends a glare over her shoulder at Tamaki and the rest of the boys. The twins exchange glances and Tamaki shivers.
"Miaku Yuki, I demand you give me three thousand yen immediately!" The girl who storms into the nearly-abandoned pet store could be Yuki's clone, with the same green eyes and long midnight curls, but wears tight black clothing and skull-and-crossbones in her ears.
"Hello Yune." Yuki tries to keep the smile from her face but it's clear that she can't. "I don't have three thousand yen to give you, but if you really beg you can have… a thousand and twenty-two."
"Aww, but the boots cost five thousand, and I only have two thousand!" Tamaki raises an eyebrow and Kyoya pushes his glasses up again. Fifty yen? What kind of pocket money is that?
Hikaru volunteers with, "Here, let me!" and whips out his wallet. He's clearly enamored with Yune's short black skirt and long fishnet-clad legs. While she and Yuki both have the same innocent face, hers has a dangerous glint as she takes a wad of cash from Hikaru, one of the red-haired twins.
"Holy shit, this is sixty-five hundred thousand yen!"
Yune looks like she's ready to sleep with Hikaru right there, but Yuki's face grows cold, reminding Kyoya of the marble statues of Medusa—cold, stone, and full of downright loathing.
"You are such worthless pieces of shit," she hisses. Mori picks Honey up and covers his ears as Yuki steps from behind the counter to stand in their faces. Hikaru isn't used to it—none of them are. She invades their personal space so easily… Tamaki wonders, Is this how commoners always act?
"This is just proof of how worthless and low your type is. It's disgraceful. You think you can buy my sister? Yeah, she'll keep the money. As a matter of fact, I would be angry if she didn't. But I want you to get your self-righteous asses out of my store, out of my mall, and out of my world. Go back to your own drug addicted, self-obsessed, cushy lives and just watch us squirm under your feet. It's all you've ever done! You don't give a damn about us, just live off of our efforts. Well, it's about time you got a reality check!" She pokes a finger into Tamaki's chest, actually forcing him back towards the door. "Get out of here. Now. Fuck off, fuck out, and go fuck yourselves."
And with that, a commoner girl actually shoves Tamaki.
Yune claps her twin on the back. "Sorry, dudes, but I think my sis just kicked you out! Thanks for the cash, though, eternally grateful, yada yada. Adios! Au Revoir! Sayonara!" She waves a black-nailed hand as they file out of the store, Kyoya going last. He pauses at the door, leaning momentarily on the green frame.
"For the record, my father owns this mall and signs your paycheck. But thank you for saying that to Tamaki, he probably does need a small reality check. Not that it will phase him for long. Here, for your efforts." He holds out a hundred-dollar bill between to fingertips, as casually as can be.
Yuki looks at him.
And spits on his perfect black shoes.
"Keep your blood money," she hisses, and he smiles at her, taking in the picture. He figures that this is how he'll remember the spunky commoner girl in the mall: alabaster skin, thick red lips, clear light green eyes and a beautiful, delicate face. Slim frame, thin, almost frail looking, with expressive fingers and a constant quizzical expression. Phenomenal glare, with the body of an angel and the temper of a demon.
Yes, that's how he'll remember her, Kyoya thinks as Tamaki leads them out of the mall, much of his energy taken, but still maintaining more than the average human being. Miaku Yuki. Of course, he'd never see her again.
He has no idea how wrong he is.