This was written from the Magical Item Competition by NeverBeenDarkMarked over on the HP Challenges forum. One Shot.
Hermione is feeling a bit daring, so she decides to reek havoc on her least favourite teacher. Weasley products add to the fun and the Chain Reaction.
Character: Hermione
Item: Fake Wand
R&R please :) any reviews are welcome.
JK ROWLING OWNS EVERYTHING.
-Chain Reaction-
She looked at her copy of Defensive Magical Theory, pretending to read. Some people were actually taking notes, well at least appeared to be. Ron who was sitting at the desk in front of her was staring vacantly out the window and Harry who was on her right looked like he was taking notes, when actually he was trying to finish Snape's latest essay before next class.
Hermione on the other hand was feeling a bit daring.
She winked at the red heads she could see out the window, Fred and George winked back and gave her a thumbs up.
She looked up from the book she was "reading" only to see the toad perched on her throne, bulging eyes sweeping the class as though she was watching a rather juicy fly.
Her eyes quickly locked onto Hermione in the back corner of the classroom because she wasn't reading and she glared at her, not blinking.
Hermione stared right back at her -daringly.
Come on tell me off already, she thought. Just come away from your desk.
'A problem, Miss Granger?', her voice was sickly sweet.
Of course there was a problem everyone knew that. Merlin knows she even knew that.
'Not at all Professor Umbridge', she made no attempt to hide the sarcasm in her voice.
'Not even a teensy little problem?'
'Well now that you mention it Professor, about this book...' she picked the book up in one hand, 'I finished the chapter.'
'Well Miss Granger, proceed to the next chapter.'
'I've read that as well.'
'Proceed to one that you have not yet read.'
'I can't do that, Professor.'
All of the class now had their eyes flitting between Umbridge and Hermione, Harry was giving her a disbelieving look.
Umbridge stood up from her chair walked through the aisle, she came to a stop in front of Hermione.
'And why not?' She asked, putting on her worst falsely sweet voice.
'Because I've read the entire book', she clarified.
As soon as she finished the word book there was a loud knock at the classroom door.
Umbridge backed away from Hermione and lingered her eyes a moment longer before striding over to the door and yanking it open.
'Ahhhhhhhh!' Umbridge fell backwards to the floor, her arms and legs working frantically as she tried to shuffle back away from the door. Three nifflers who were momentarily shocked at the sudden noise scurried into the room, their beady eyes wide and swiveling rapidly.
At the same time they focussed on Umbridge, more specifically her ugly old rings.
The nifflers attacked, they gnawed on her rings, Umbridge tried to swat them away waving her hands and kicking her legs. All of the class now were standing on tables and chairs to avoid the nifflers coming at them.
'GET. OFF. ME...Stupid creatures! Ouch! Don't do that! Ahhhh!' Screeched Umbridge.
'Proffessor Umbidge!' Exclaimed Malfoy who then made an attempt to detach the nifflers from Umbridge's fingers.
Hermione took the moment of distraction to jump down from the table and rush towards Umbridge's desk. She pulled the top drawer out and swiftly switched Umbridge's wand for the fake one in her pocket.
'Professor, Catch!' She threw the fake wand at the screaming mess that was Umbridge, who with a burst of strength pulled the niffler off her right hand and grabbed the wand that landed on the ground behind her.
'Stupify!'
Hermione laughed as niffler that had been hit with the 'stunning spell' multiplied into twenty more, all of which immediately swarmed Umbridge pinning her to the floor, the members of the Inquisitorial Squad attempted to help.
Hermione pulled a flask from inside her robes, she unstoppered it and poured the contents into the cup of steaming tea on the desk.
'Reducto!' Umbridge Screamed at the niffler closest to her face. A loud bang and a puff of smoke came from the wand but the niffler who was currently going for her necklace wasn't hurt, but Umbridge's hair stood on end like she had been hit by lightning and her sickeningly pink robes were now the darkest shade of black.
Hermione promptly ran back to her table, but not before she let a Decoy Detonator roll out of her palm onto the floor. She watched it from her table, it scurried around chair and table legs whilst dodging the occasional foot. When it reached the middle of the classroom it stopped, shuffled it's feet then appeared to intake air before: 'HOOOOONNNNNK!'
'Honk!' 'HONK!' 'Hooooonnnnnnk!' 'Honk!' 'HOONNK!'
The Decoy Detonator called the Decoy Detonators which had been hiding out of sight in the room and they honked and hooted nosily, some had been wedged in between books and some even walked off the roof rafters. They all scattered themselves evenly around the room.
Hermione figured that it was probably time to leave the room. Now.
She pulled Harry and Ron from their chairs on which they were laughing at the still shrieking and screaming Umbridge covered in nifflers and surrounded by her precious Inquisitorial Squad and out the classroom within seconds.
'Aw, come on Hermione, I was enjoying that!' said Ron still laughing, 'Did you see her face when she saw the nifflers?'
'You'll thank me in a second' she responded before half walking and half running toward the place where the Weasley twins were watching and laughing.
'Hermione, you are brilliant!' exclaimed Fred who like his brother was peering into the window howling with laughter.
'Wait, till you see what's next' She replied as she ducked down beside them.
And as if on cue a loud belching noise came from within the room as the Decoy Detonators spun around wildly releasing thick clouds of black smoke from the ends of their horns that spiraled and filled the room, reminding Hermione wildly of smaller less frightening tornadoes.
The rest of the class poured out of the classroom now, bending over to avoid the black smoke. People were howling with laughter, Hermione saw Seamus and Dean doing impressions of Umbridge trying to shake off the nifflers and the nifflers themselves scurrying away with Umbridge's ugly jewelry as their prizes. The dense black smoke was pouring out of the room and as it started to clear people got a look at the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, which made them howl in laughter once more.
Umbridge was lying on the ground still to shocked to move. She had bite marks all over her hands where the nifflers had bitten them in order to get her rings, her hair stood on end, her signature pink robes were black and ripped in places, her face and was covered in black smudges and she couldn't do anything about it because the fake wand which she held in her hand had turned into a bouquet of flowers.
She slowly got up from the ground and faced the students out the doorway, she breathed out heavily, shaking in anger. Her fists were clenched tight and she glared at the class with such hatred she looked as if she could murder someone. No one was laughing anymore, although they were trying hard to stay that way. Umbridge slightly composed herself with another heavy breath and strode meaningfully towards her desk.
She picked up her tea and stirred her spoon three times around before making an attempt to calm herself with a long sip. Hermione smirked as she turned around to the rest of the group and whispered, 'Wait for it…'
Umbridge finished her sip and placed the cup back on her desk, her hands were still shaking in anger although she had somewhat calmed down. She looked at the class and opened her mouth to speak.
'RIBBITT!'
'Nice touch" Fred told Hermione. And the class started laughing at Old Toad Face once more.