A/N: Not entirely happy with this one, but oh well. You guys might like it xD Oh, and just to clarify in case anyone gets confused, Harry isn't there yet and Hermione... I don't know where she is, but she's not here :P Anyways, enjoy :)
The scene: Grimmauld Place, the summer before Harry's fifth year, and the Weasley twins' seventh. An Order meeting has just finished and Severus is just leaving after giving a report. Remus, Tonks, and Sirius are the only ones there for dinner apart from the entire Weasley family.
Fred and George Apparated down to the landing outside their little brother's room and banged on the door, before Apparating the rest of the way downstairs.
"Boys, really, there's no need. A few extra seconds would put everyone in a much better mood," Remus advised. They looked at each other. "Why?" they asked innocently, although knowing the answer.
"Because then everyone would have a few more precious seconds where they don't have to see your ugly mugs," said a voice from the twins' right, and they all looked over at who'd spoken. It was Sirius.
"Ah, but Sirius, my old friend, at least when they can look at our ugly mugs, they don't have to look at yours!" Fred lamented dramatically.
"They don't have to. I'm a dog, remember?" Sirius countered, morphing into the huge black dog.
"Sirius, you aren't eating like that. Change back, now," Molly chided him, and the dog growled before changing back.
"Down, boy!" George ordered. The Weasleys, Remus and Tonks all laughed as Sirius growled at the two boys.
"You asked for that one, Sirius, admit it."
"But Moo-Remus! They bully me!" Sirius almost slipped, calling his friend by his schoolboy nickname. No one knew about their nicknames, and it was the one thing they had decided, as Brothers-In-Everything-But-Blood like they now were, to keep it to themselves.
"No, Sirius, you get yourself into a fight you can't win. Repeatedly."
"Remus! Come on, mate, you're my best living friend, you have to be on my side!"
"No, no I don't."
"Remus!"
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Sirius, grow up!"
"No. Shan't. Don't want to!" The twins watched the banter, mentally noting what works and what doesn't.
"Fine. Prepare to be spoon-fed."
"What? NO!"
"I thought so. Din-dins, Pa-Sirius!"
"AARRRRGGGHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Remus laughed at his best friend's overreaction.
"Sirius, mate, no need to scream the flipping house down!" the twins exclaimed.
"It'd probably do the flipping house some good… Well, not the house, me."
"Why?" they were curious now.
"Didn't you know? This, legally, is my house. I grew up in this hellhole and hated every minute of it. I hate even naming it as my house." He shuddered.
"Oh. Why did you hate it?"
"Hasn't this place told you anything in the two weeks you've been here? This is a house of high Pureblood class, and the people who owned it were predominantly selfish, ambitious, cunning… In other words, Slytherins.
"I was the total opposite, at Hogwarts and here. Although at Hogwarts, there were actually people who agreed with me, including Remus."
"You were a Gryffindor, then?"
"Well what did you think?"
"We weren't sure..."
"You didn't seem cruel enough for a Slytherin-"
"-Or smart enough for a Ravenclaw-"
"-So that leaves Gryffindor or Hufflepuff."
Fred and George alternated speaking as twins do. "I hate twins." Sirius muttered.
"Ah, but I bet it wasn't so bad when you were one!" Remus laughed.
"What? I never had a twin."
"Maybe not genetically, but you and James were barely separate people!"
"True. Closest brother I ever had, that one. Hero worshipped me, he loved me to bits. He'd jump off a cliff if I told him to."
"No, he wouldn't; one time, you told him to, and he said to bugger off and do it yourself."
"Remmy, you always spoil my fun. Even at Hogwarts, our 'Maraudering' was less fun 'cause you always tried to guilt-trip us."
"Someone had to."
"Yeah, but you couldn't have let it be McGonagall? She sucks at guilt-trips."
"Only when she doesn't really mean it. Otherwise she is incredibly poetic. Or very blunt. Depends what sort of mood she's in, it seemed."
"What's this? Professor Lupin got in trouble at school?" George asked incredulously.
"Never!" Fred exclaimed disbelievingly.
"Yep. Not proud of it, but I did. Personally, I blame him," Remus said, pointing at Sirius.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Moo-Remus."
"That's the second time you've done that, Sirius. What are you hiding?"
"You don't even want to know. It's depressing." Sirius informed them.
"Come on, you four, eat!" Molly encouraged from the other end of the table. They ate their meal – spaghetti bolognaise, which tasted excellent, Molly had cooked it – and then afterwards, Remus and Sirius remained sitting, while the Weasleys and Tonks left for various jobs and destinations.
The twins stayed on the stairs, sending down Extendable Ears to listen in on conversation.
"Sirius, do you think we should tell the twins?"
"No. We don't even know if they've heard of us, or found the Map." 'Map' definitely sounded like it had a capital 'M'.
"But, by all reports, they're the greatest pranksters since – well, us."
"True. They probably know all the passages by now. But that doesn't mean they've heard of us. Or found the Map," Sirius reiterated.
"But Harry had it. Didn't he say that Fred and George gave it to him?"
"Oh yeah… I'd forgotten that." Now, Fred and George are by no means stupid, but they hadn't thought about any sort of Map in years, and so, they couldn't work out what the two men were talking about. The two Weasleys decided now was a good time to interrupt.
"What ya talking about?" asked Fred cheerfully, bounding into the kitchen and settling himself next to Remus. George grinned and sat down next to Sirius.
"Yeah, what?"
"Sirius?"
"Nah. Let's have some fun first. It'll be just like old times!" Remus laughed.
"Seriously-"
"Yes?" Sirius interrupted. Remus smacked a palm to his face at the return of the infamous Sirius-serious pun.
"Sirius, isn't that old by now?"
"No! It's the best pun ever!"
"How in the name of Merlin did I survive sharing a dorm with you for seven years? Not to mention a flat for four years after that?"
"Easy. You love me."
"You keep telling yourself that, Sirius."
"No, really. You and I are the closest things the other has to family. You love me."
"Nope. Sorry to disappoint, mate." Sirius pouted.
"What were you talking about?"
"Wait, what was that word you used earlier, Sirius?"
"I used a lot of words, Fred."
"I'm not Fred, I'm Forge! He's Gred, remember?"
"Good Wizard God, they're worse than you and James, Pads!"
"Remus!"
"Whoops." The twins weren't listening though. They were trying to remember the word.
"Ma, meh, mau, mae…" they were making different sounds to work it out.
"Maraudering?" Remus supplied.
"Yes! Maraudering! Why is that familiar?"
"Maraud… Maraud… Maraud…er… Maraud…"
"Fred, that's it! Marauder!" Fred looked up at his twin, and their shocked faces spread slowly into huge, identical, evil grins.
"Um… Remus… They're scaring me. Make them stop."
"No. They're scaring me, too."
"The Marauder's Map!" they shouted together, turning to the last two Marauders (Peter was disqualified as a traitor).
"What do you know about the Marauder's Map?" they asked eagerly.
"Uh… I confiscated it from Harry the year I was there and gave it back after I resigned."
"What? Why?"
"Because I felt the need to, shut up, Pa-Sirius!"
"That's not the first time you said that, either… Tell us!"
"Um. No."
"Tell us!"
"Do you know Prongs? Or Wormtail-?" Both Sirius and Remus growled ferociously at the name. "'Wormtail' is a traitor! Never, ever mention him around us again!" they snarled together. Fred and George were leaning back in fear.
The two of them together looked quite scary; you could even see an ever-so-slightly wolfish glint in Remus' eyes.
"Y-yes, sir," they said. Remus and Sirius calmed and sat back down.
"So do you know Prongs? Or Moony or Padfoot? Tell us!"
"Why do you want to know?" Remus asked sensibly.
"Because, a) they're our heroes-"
"-and b) we wanted to ask permission to make copies of the Map to sell."
"They'd say no. All of them."
"How do you know?"
"Because we do."
"But have you heard of them?"
"Well, yes. Padfoot and Prongs were incredibly popular and good-looking, and they even had fan-clubs."
"Yup. Those two got on the wrong side of 'Minnie' at least once a day, and were in Dumbledore's office at least once a month."
"Actually, now I think about, I think Moony had a fan-club or two… Yeah, a lot of girls liked his quiet, studious nature and resilience compared to Padfoot and Prongs' loud, rambunctious, laughter-y nature."
"Wow, Sirius, long words, do you know what they mean? And laughter-y isn't a word."
"Yes, Professor."
"And if I remember rightly, Moony came up with the greatest prank ideas."
"True, he was quite deceptive that way. Everyone thought the others were a bad influence on him, but it was actually him who had a bad influence on the others."
"Please, the others didn't need it. They were bad enough as it was."
"No, I guess not."
"Prongs, now Prongs was interesting. He was one of the most popular guys in school, and still barely dated anyone. Holding out for the redhead for years, when she 'would rather go out with the Giant Squid', ha haaa!" Remus laughed, recalling how odd it was that she had hated him, and then married him three years later.
"Oh yeah. Transfiguration prodigy, wasn't he? Became an unregistered Animagus at fifteen?"
"Oh, yes, and Padfoot, too, although Prongs got it first."
"Yeah, yeah, just because he was better at Transfiguration."
"Uh huh. Padfoot wasn't best at anything. The redhead was brilliant at Charms, and Potions, wasn't she? And Muggle-born, she was. Moony was best at DADA, and astronomy. And they were all about equal to each other in the rest of the subjects."
"Yes, very intelligent people."
"Yup, but for someone smart, Padfoot sure could be stupid. A bit like you, huh, Sirius?" Fred and George were hanging on their every word, barely daring to hope they meant what the twins thought they meant.
"Yes, Remus, and remember Moony? He was always telling Prongs and Padfoot off."
"Yeah, the guilt tripping never worked, did it?"
"No, not at all." Sirius was suddenly sad. "Moony has never let himself have anything he wanted, and thought he was alone for twelve years. Moony should start letting himself get what he wants, and soon. Or Padfoot will personally force him to." Remus smiled sadly. He could never let that happen.
"Padfoot is a rash idiot that is incredibly loyal to his friends. Padfoot needs to start thinking of those who will miss him if he gets himself killed. Particularly Harry." Sirius shrugged slightly with an embarrassed sort of grin, the Sirius way of showing he knows but can't seem to do it, at least not at that moment.
"No."
"Freaking."
"Way." Fred and George were in shock.
"What?"
"You're Padfoot and Moony!"
"We are?" Sirius faked confusion.
"Yes! No way, this is awesome! Why didn't you tell us? How did you get the Map? Who was Prongs and The-Unnameable-One? Tell us, tell us, tell us!"
"Sirius?" Remus looked at his friend, who sighed dramatically and nodded. Oddly enough, Remus had been itching to tell them.
"Yes, we are Moony and Padfoot; Yes way; Yes, we're awesome; Because we thought it'd be more fun; We made it; James Potter and Peter Pettigrew; Happy now?"
"You made the Map?"
"James Potter? As in, Harry's father, James Potter?"
"Yep. We knew Harry when he was a year old."
"And James was practically Sirius' twin. They even looked slightly similar!"
"That would tend to happen when you have the same great-grandparents or something stupid like that, Moony."
"Yeah, I guess. Hey, that means Harry is actually distantly related to you!"
"Yeah! I bet he's like my third cousin twice removed or something like that!"
"You're related to Harry?"
"Yeah, distantly… Both James and I are Pureblood, so we're definitely related somewhere along the line."
"Awesome!"
"Hey, does that mean if I wasn't a convicted murderer and the Ministry's most wanted, I could claim Guardianship of Harry, as his closest wizard relative and Godfather?"
"Uh, maybe. But remember what Dumbledore said, Harry's safest where he is, because of Lily's blood protection."
"True. How Lily ended up with her as a sister I have no idea."
"Yeah... Oh well. Now you know, Gred, Forge. Anything else to say?"
"Yeah – We are not worthy!" they chanted, getting down on their knees in a worship position. Remus laughed but Sirius basked in the praise. After a solid five minutes of this, they got up, and clapped hands with both of the Marauders.
"You guys are our idols," George said. "Yeah. We'll have to have a proper chat some time, catch up on these things..." Fred grinned. "But, for now, we're off to bed, night!"
"Night, boys!" And Fred and George disappeared out the door.
"George, can you believe that? Harry's a Mini-Marauder!"
"I know, Fred! It's amazing! But I can't believe he didn't tell us. D'you think he knew?"
"Yeah. After all, he was involved with that mess with Sirius at the end of our fifth year, remember? He would have found out then."
"And he would have told Ron and Hermione as well. Gits. Why didn't they tell us?"
"I don't know, Georgie, but I'm sure we can find a way to get back at them, can't we, my dear twin?"
"Oh, yeah, Freddie, I'm sure we can!" The two twins grinned evilly again, and as they drifted off, they were both coming up with plans to get back at the trio who had kept such an important secret from them.
Merlin, those three were in trouble!
A/N: So, yeah. Sorry it's almost all dialogue, but I didn't really have any inspiration for description. What did you think? Tell me, pleeeease! I'll give you jelly (Jell-o to any American readers, I think)! Or cake. Virtual, but... Er, yeah. Love you all xxx
