1.
"Did you know," Jake told me after our spy mission at the Yeerk Pool, "that the day after the construction site, Tobias told me I should be leader?"
I didn't know, but I could have guessed.
Jake laughed humorlessly. "Can you imagine? Me as leader, living with Tom?"
He meant it would have been too dangerous. But there was also, unspoken, the (self-)accusation: if I were the leader, I would have tried to rescue Tom.
"As soon as we find a way to protect him from just getting reinfested," I promised. "We'll save him."
It would never be soon enough.
2.
When we rescued Ax, I was excited. We had a good list of Controllers and their roles in the invasion now – about thirty – but Ax could give us real answers.
Ax's human eyes were huge and sleepy, probably from Tobias' DNA. He blinked slowly. "I cannot tell you how the war started. My people have laws."
I leaned sideways on my couch and put my hand on his shoulder. I looked into his eyes. "Elfangor gave us as much as he could. He just met us, and he trusted us. Will you do the same?"
Ax breathed. "Yes, Prince Cassie."
3.
«Tobias!» Ax cried. «Prince Cassie, only two percent of his morph time remains!»
Hork-Bajir blood dripped from my buffalo horns. Even in this desperate Pool Ship battle, he counted each minute. Tobias could never survive demorphing in this meat grinder. Ax must know this.
But I knew how often he went flying with Tobias, away from his uncle's house. He wanted me to give him hope.
I stomped on a Red Band's foot. «Tobias. I'm sorry. I'll do everything I can for you.»
«It's not your fault. You hear that, Ax? This isn't her fault.»
But I knew it was.
4.
"So If the Yeerks didn't have any advanced technology," I said, "Why did Andalites set up a military base on their planet in the first place?"
This time, Ax and I were in the woods he now shared with Tobias. «The Andalites are a force for peace and order,» he recited. «We are the only ones who can stop parasites and predators from overpowering others.»
The police say the same thing. But my grandparents taught me and my cousins to fear them. I thought I might start to understand this war.
"Do you still believe that?" I asked him quietly.
5.
«I'm sorry,» I cried to Jake as I ran. «I thought the Chee were our chance to get him out for good. I tried – »
Jake kept his half-human, half-tiger eyes on Tom, on the steady Dracon beam in his hand. «I know. I forgive you.»
I wasn't sure I could get to Tom in time. Even if I did, could I really do it?
«Prince Cassie,» said Ax. «I am close enough to attack. Do I have your permission?»
«Yes, Ax,» I said. «Try to spare him. But do what you have to.»
Jake shouldn't have forgiven me so soon.
(+1)
I wasn't sure what goodbyes the others made to Ax. But I knew what I had to say.
I smiled. "Prince Ax."
«Not quite yet. The ceremony will be on the homeworld.»
"Listen, Ax. I know I made some choices during the war that… you didn't agree with. But, before you go, are we good, Ax? You and me?"
He watched me with all four eyes. «It took me until the end of this war to realize that Rachel was not the most dangerous of us. You were.»
My eyes prickled. "I know."
«Between us, Cassie? Yes. We are good.»