DISCLAIMER: I own nothing
*This is the follow up to The Breaking Point. I didn't expect it to come about so quickly, and I hope by diving straight back in I make this story it's own and not just a continuation of The Breaking Point
* I know I'm not breaking any ground with the idea behind the beginning of this story, I've read a few other T/K stories set just after Forever Red just bare in mind that the events of Forever Red in this story aren't the same as in the episode… which I've watched once and don't have great knowledge of. Any ways, I'm really just using that as a base to start from. I was thinking about a time when Tommy and Kim might have come back into each others life, this was an obvious choice
*This story is set after Chapter 31 of The Breaking Point (Ignore all happenings in the epilogue, it was what it was, some people hated it some people liked it but it was just a bit of fun) This is set 5 years after Tommy let Kim go in order to rebuild his life. Want to know why he never went back for her? Read on…
CHAPTER 1
Stepping from the craft, I breathe a breath of relief as I feel solid ground beneath me for what feels like the first time in forever.
I want to put one foot in front of the other and just keep walking but I'm the reason that we're all standing here, which means that ultimately I'm the reason that we've returned home without one of our own
Forcing myself to observe the faces of the men around me the sense of loss is palpable and the guilt I have been burying since the accident threatens to consume me, but I'm a leader… I have to set an example of strength.
Andros was a good man, yet he was barely old enough to be a man. I didn't know him well but it was obvious he was liked by everyone and over the course of the mission I grew to know him and most of all, respect him. What he did for us… what he did for everyone- his self sacrifice will never be forgotten, even though most of the world he saved will never know
I go from one man to the next, thanking them for coming, and assuring them that Andros knew the choice he was making.
The words ring hollow in my ears but the guys seem to appreciate my efforts as they shake my hand, each one of them choking back loss and confusion. Each face asking me if we could have done more. I know we couldn't but inside I just can't stop questioning that fact
Catching sight of Jason heading in my direction I find myself consumed by the urge to run
I know I can lie to these guys and maybe in time I'll be able to lie to myself but I will never be able to lie to my oldest and closest friend. One glance into my eyes and he will know what I have been trying so hard to hide, but before I have time to make my escape his hand is on my shoulder
Guilt coils its self around my throat and it takes all my efforts to fake him a smile
"Jase, I need to get out of here man"
He nods his understanding and I grab the opportunity to get as far away from here as possible with both hands
I'm ten yards into my escape route when I hear his voice call out my name and for a split second I consider ignoring him. After everything we've been through together I know I owe him more than that so I turn around and I'm surprised to see every one of the guys stood next to him and they're all looking right at me
"It wasn't your fault Tommy"
Everyone nods their agreement… everyone except me that is. I shrug them my thanks and then turn and put one boot in front of the other.
I don't know where I'm going, I tell myself I'm going home but in truth I don't know where that is anymore. I'm 25 years old and for the past 5 years I've been racing cars on the circuit, I don't have a base to crawl back to when things go wrong.
I always thought Angel Grove would be my home but now it feels like nothing more than a town of ghosts. Every street is haunted by some memory of my past… I haven't been back there in years, there's been nothing there for me ever since…
I shake my head as though physically trying to shake myself from the thought… I'm not even going near that memory tonight
As the first drops of rain start to fall I'm acutely aware of my need for two things… beer and the chance to start over.
A BAR ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF A DESERT TOWN
Passing my bottle from one hand to the other I attempt to think of anything other than the past few days of my life
A face flickers in my mind but it's quickly replaced by images of death and destruction. I drain my bottle and signal for another one
Ever since I arrived in this bar… I don't know the name of, on the edge of some town I no intentions of ever visiting the bar woman has been staring and smiling in my direction, at least I think it's a woman, she's wearing a skirt and make up so she must be… right?
As she replaces my empty bottle with an icy cold full one I'm surprised to find that her raspy voice doesn't give away any clues to her gender either. To my surprise she doesn't take my empty bottle and leave, in fact she leaves the empty bottle on my table, pulls up a stool and sits as close to me as humanly possible.
Glancing side ways at her I notice that she is resting her head on one hand and is staring right at me. If I wasn't so exhausted, or intoxicated I might feel self conscious, instead I just feel annoyed at the invasion of my privacy, and personal space
"You new in town son?"
"Will it make you leave any quicker if I am?" instead of being offended I notice a smile pull apart her tomato red lips and I find my face involuntarily curling up in disgust at the black match sticks she must use as teeth
"You're feisty for a young un, what's your name?"
"Look, I don't mean to be rude but I've had a really rough week and I just want to drink this alone"
"How about I get you another one of those on the house and then you can tell me all about it because you sure are pretty"
I attempt to hide my annoyance but she's now running her finger along the sleeve of my leather jacket and she is starting to severely piss me off
"Miss…"
I pull my arm away
"I'm just looking for a quiet drink"
"Well aint you lucky that you walked into my bar, where I can give you so much more?" She drawls and then attempts what I can only assume is meant as some kind of girly giggle… the kind that haunts my dreams. Unfortunately for her it comes out sounding more like a pig squealing
"If only I was ten years younger…"
"If you were ten years younger, you would still be ten years too old"
I want to tell her that I'd rather date Rita Repulsa than date her but somehow I doubt that she would know what I was talking about, she doesn't strike me as someone who gets out much… or ever
"Look, whatever you're going through I bet I've been through the same, maybe I could give you the benefit of my wisdom and then you can give me the benefit of your youth"
I know what she's implying and it makes my stomach turn. Ignoring the comment I just snort my disbelief at the arrogance of the comment she made shortly before almost making me lose my lunch
"Okay, if you want to sit here and mope- fine, but let me tell you something beautiful…"
My blood runs cold at the word and the face that has been flickering in my mind throughout this entire nightmare burns bright
"Moping, will only lead to more of these"
She shakes the empty bottle in my face and I fight the urge to slap it out of her hand
"And more of these, is a slippery slope… believe me, I've seen it"
I close my eyes and massage the bridge of my nose
"I just need to forget that's all"
Her hand is on my arm again and this time I allow her to leave it there
"The thing about beer is, you start out needing one to forget and then you need one to remember and pretty soon you're drinking just so you can drink"
"Things happen…"
I have no idea why I'm telling her this
"Some thing happened…"
"And what can you do about it?" she asks me harshly
"Now? …now there's nothing anybody can do about it"
She gives me the most sorrowful look that her ten layers of make up will allow her to give and I appreciate her efforts
"Then all you can do is move on"
The emotion in her voice causes me to look at her properly for the first time since I got here and I realise that behind the peroxide blond hair, thick makeup and black teeth is a women who is probably a good decade younger than I first thought. Her face is lined with what I assume are years of disappointment and disillusionment
Holding out my hand I introduce myself and she tells me her name is Louise
"What are you searching for Tommy?"
"Anything that I recognise as mine"
"All we ever truly have is our selves, our spirit, our heart…"
The face flickers again, only this time it doesn't dissolve into blackened memories, this time it's as though a light had been flicked on in my brain
"Have you got a special girl Tommy?"
"I did have"
"Was she 'the one'"
"My one and only"
"It's lonely living without them… aint it?"
I can hear the pain in her voice, like she loved someone once and lost them. I don't tell her that I didn't lose 'the one' I let her go. I don't tell her how I've regretted the decision every day since but have never found the courage to go back. I never tell her, but some how she knows as she leans closer to me and I can smell the alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke on her breath
"Home is where the heart is Tommy, and you can never be lost if you have a home "
She says it whilst taking hold of my empty bottle and rising from the stool
"Home has always been where my Hart is" I whisper to her shadow and an idea slowly begins to take shape in my head