Restoration is one of my favorite Morgan and JJ episodes and as a fan of the couple I always wanted just a little something more between the two at the end. So I decided to do this one shot to satisfy that want. ;)
Don't panic! I haven't forgotten Couples Retreat or my promise to finish off The Cell but my muse for the former story has stalled so I decided to write this story hoping to jump start my muse back up for it.
Enjoy!
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As she went over the brink….this was last thing JJ expected to happen when they closed this case…..
"It's over. You did it."
Morgan just stared at JJ letting her words wash over him. She was right, it was finally over and he'd won. He'd beaten Buford but most importantly he hadn't let Buford beat him. He didn't know what to do with himself though. Part of him wanted to scream at the top of his lungs letting out over 20 years of frustration, anger, depression, self-loathing and most importantly hate. The other part of him just needed to think in order to let the nightmare of the last 20 plus years be rationalized and allowed to fade away. Problem was he was afraid of what might fade away along with the nightmare.
He needed to get out. Get away from everything because the walls of the precinct felt like they were closing in on him and JJ's concerned gaze wasn't helping matters. Finally when he could take it no longer he simply turned and walked away from her without saying a word.
Feeling the cool breeze hit his face Morgan allowed himself to relax a bit as he walked the streets of the city. He didn't have a destination in mind just a mindset that allowing the nightmare to fade away didn't mean he would fade away with it. While he'd used the torment of his childhood to fuel him to become the man he was today he promised to never let it define the type of man he'd become. Allowing himself to accept that it was finally over, that he could finally let it go and it didn't mean he would be letting go of the man he'd become meant he could finally let himself be happy and go after what it was he truly wanted in his life.
A loud crack of thunder startled him causing him to jump slightly from his position on the park bench. He'd been so wrapped up within his own mind that he hadn't realized it started to rain and that he'd been sitting in his current position long enough to be almost completely soaked through to the bone. Even though he was aware of his current he made no move to get up and seek shelter. However when a blast of cool air hit his cold wet skin he couldn't help the involuntary shudder that wracked his body. It took a second, even louder crack of thunder to completely pull him out of his self-imposed isolation.
Morgan took in his surroundings. When he saw the name of the park he was astonished to realize he'd walked well over 2 miles from the police station. He checked his watch cursing himself even further. Not only had he walked more than 2 miles in the pouring rain and not only had he left without telling anyone where he was going, he'd been nearly three hours. No doubt the team would be worried about him- JJ would be worried about him.
While he finally shared with the team some of the depraved acts Carl Buford performed on him he shared ALL the dirty details of what was done to him with JJ. Of everyone, Garcia included, JJ knew the most about what was done to him. He felt compelled to share his horror with the blonde after the time they spent with Angel the year prior. The young boy's torment brought his own demons to the surface and after the case the two of them had gone for a drink where he spilled everything to JJ. JJ had always been the type of person you felt you could tell your deepest darkest secrets to. Someone who would be there for you no matter what, no questions asked and would just listen to you without passing any judgments. And that's exactly what JJ did; just listened.
As another sharp breeze sent his body into a second bout of the shivers Morgan decided it would be a good idea to head back. Pulling out his cell phone which thankfully somehow managed to stay dry in his soaked clothes he texted Hotch letting him know he was alive and that he was on his way back. He also apologized to his boss for disappearing which of course Hotch seemed to completely ignore in his reply instead he simply stated they'd gone back to the hotel and he should head there not the precinct.
A bright flash of lighting caught his attention making him turn his gaze upwards where he noted how dark and troubled the sky looked- the same two things matched how he currently felt. Another flash followed by a crack of thunder quickly followed by a heavy downpour left Morgan with little doubt the weather was the reason the team had returned to the hotel instead of heading for the airport.
As he walked, well more like sloshed his way along Morgan thought about how he'd just walked away from JJ. He shouldn't have walked away from her like he had without saying anything to her but her words coupled with her hand on his forearm her it all became too much making the walls of the room feel as if they were closing in on him he needed to get away. When in reality what Morgan really wanted was to push JJ up against those lockers and devour her lips with his own. His feelings for his best friend over the past year and a half had stopped being platonic and started becoming romantic.
The shrill of his cell phone snapping him out of his reverie Morgan looked at the unknown number on his phones display and suddenly he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Sliding his thumb across the screen he answered the call "Hello, this Derek Morgan"
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JJ watched the drop of water as it slowly slid down the window of her hotel room. A bright flash of lighting pulled her attention from the droplet to the landscape of the buildings outside and how they seemed so small compared to the vast dreariness of the skyline the only light coming from the ominous flashes of lighting.
Wrapping her arms around her body she thought back to how she felt at seeing Morgan's reaction to her telling him it was over and that he'd done it, he'd beaten Buford. How painful it had been to watch him walk away from her in a total daze. She'd wanted so badly to chase after him but she knew better than anyone what he needed in that moment was space and she knew when he was ready he would come find her. She pulled herself into her own embrace as much as she could while at the same time fighting back the tears when she thought about all the things Morgan had to endure as a child. From his father tragically dying when he was just a little boy to all the disgusting and horrifying things done to him at the hands of Carl Buford JJ wondered how Derek Morgan had managed to turn out to be the amazing man he is today.
A light rap on her door pulled her attention away from the dreariness outside to the quiet of her room. Looking through the peephole relief flooded through her when she saw it was Morgan standing outside her door. She pulled the door open and weakly smiled at him before stepping aside in order to give him the space needed to enter into the room.
It wasn't until after she closed and locked the door did she fully take in his overall appearance. He was soaking wet through every layer of his clothes. Not one part of him was dry and he made no attempt to wipe away the droplets of water that clung to the tip of his eyebrow and nose. He simply stood there, a blank expression on his face.
"You're going to get pneumonia. We have to get you dry and warm" JJ said pushing his jacket off his shoulders letting the water logged garment drop the floor in a heap. Let housekeeping worry about the wet rug. "C'mon we'll let's get you into a hot shower"
"Buford's dead"
Morgan said matter of factly his expression unchanged
"What? How…uh, when?" JJ tripped over her own words the weight of what he'd just told her taking her completely by surprise.
"Right after the press conference. The boys in the yard don't take too kindly to guys who mess with kids"
His tone was flat and to the point- JJ wasn't sure if he was happy or even sad of the news he'd just told her. Shock more than anything had put him in the current state but overall he wasn't sure how he should react. Neither was she for that matter.
JJ wouldn't wish death upon anyone. Even someone as depraved and vile as Carl Burford. Yes he deserved to suffer but death- JJ felt death was too easy an escape for him.
Seeing the water drip from his clothes JJ snapped back to the more important task at hand which was to get Morgan into a hot shower. She reached out and took his hand, hers flinching momentarily when she felt just how cold his skin was to the touch. He was like a human popsicle. The level of coldness of his skin put a sense of urgency into JJ as she pulled Morgan into her bathroom and turned on the shower.
While JJ may have felt nothing but cold when she touched his skin Morgan felt the complete opposite her touch setting his skin ablaze. The heat from JJ's touch washed over him igniting all his senses making them scream out to him to take the woman before him and never let go. He allowed himself to be pulled into the bathroom his eyes roaming over her body as she leaned into the shower turning the water on letting it cascade over the back of her hand until she found a satisfactory temperature.
Once she was satisfied the temperature was just right JJ turned back to Morgan who hadn't moved from the spot she left him in his face still carried that blank vacant stare and he'd made no move to remove his wet clothes. Knowing he couldn't stay in his wet clothes any longer JJ decided to take matters into her own hands. Moving over to him she untucked his shirt from his pants then slowly began unbuttoning the garment. She opened the first two buttons very slowly in the hopes Morgan even in his mental stupor would take over and finish the task himself. No such luck though he was still zoned out except now instead of some non-existent spot on the wall he was looking straight down at the floor. She wondered how far she was going to have to take this- Am I going to have to completely have to undress him? She wondered. The most undressed she'd ever seen Derek Morgan was when he wore his bathing suit. With her hands shaking JJ continued to unbutton Morgan's shirt.
Morgan opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out of this mouth. He simply watched in awe at the length JJ was willing to go to ensure his well-being. Once his shirt fully unbuttoned it hung open exposing his wet skin to the cool air of the bathroom causing his stomach muscles to tighten and his nipples to harden. He felt the first stirrings of an erection when JJ lightly ran her fingertips along abdomen before her hand came to rest on his belt buckle. Locking gazes Morgan thought he saw the recognition of his own feelings in JJ's eyes reflected back at him. Taking a chance Morgan lifted his trembling hands to the front of her shirt where he mimicked her earlier actions and pulled her shirt out of her jeans waist band. Once completely untucked Morgan snaked his hand up underneath the garment to touch the soft skin behind it.
The sensation of Morgan's fingertips on her stomach snapped JJ back to reality. As much as she may want to be with the man standing before and boy did she ever but now wasn't the time. After emotional roller coaster he'd been on today Morgan wasn't in the right state of mind and the last thing she wanted to do was add to that. JJ knew any sexual encounter between the two of them wouldn't just a one off with no emotion involved- at least not for her anyway. Although she believed with her whole heart it wouldn't be right now Morgan didn't need the extra emotional baggage added on to his already conflicted emotional state.
"Derek…"
She managed to get his name out with some authority but her voice had been shaky because by this point Morgan had both hands under the hem of her shirt palms against the skin of her lower back pulling her in close so their bodies were lightly touching and their faces merely inches apart. The feel of his hands on her skin was increasingly making it difficult for her to resist him. If he kissed her right now her resolved would completely crumble and she'd be lost.
As he looked into her eyes and listened to her Morgan could tell she was trying to be the voice of reason but the rattle in her voice told him as much as she was trying to deny it, she wanted it as much as he did.
Carl Buford had screwed with his mind and emotions for so long Morgan had been left without a true emotional constant or connection. The crippling effects of his childhood were evident in the carousel of one woman after the other in his life with him never staying with one longer than a few weeks out of fear of forming an emotional connection because the last one he'd ever had was with the man who had abused him. And even though he'd finally truly beaten Carl Buford in that the whole world would finally know what he had done the man had still managed one last time to throw Morgan's life into disarray. In the past he probably would have collapsed in on himself- closing himself off to anyone around him not wanting to talk about it. But that didn't happen this time. Sure he walked off alone for few hours but he hadn't stayed away. He'd come back- he'd come back to her.
Taking the chance Morgan closed the small distance between them capturing her lips in his while pulling her body tightly against his cold wet frame making it impossible for her to go anywhere. She resisted for a few seconds but he knew he had her when he felt her push his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. Without breaking their kiss he helped her remove the wet garment the rest of the way before returning his hands to the hem of shirt grabbing and pulling it up their lips breaking contact long enough for him to slide it over her head exposing the black lacey bra beneath.
They both wanted to go slow, to take their time removing each layer of clothing from the other savoring every moment but several involuntary shivers from Morgan made them remember why they came into the bathroom in the first place.
Smiling deviously JJ grabbed Morgan's belt and began backing her way toward the shower pulling him with her.
Morgan simply giggled and complied allowing himself to be led toward the shower by his belt
JJ kept one hand his belt while she used the other test the water to make sure the temperature was still perfect. Last thing they needed was to step into an ice cold shower. Satisfied the water was perfect she turned back to Morgan putting a second hand on his belt she backed into the shower and yanked him towards her clothes and all.
Their lips reconnected passionately the moment they were under the hot spray JJ's arms going up around his neck while his cupped her ass.
Letting the hot water fuel his desires Morgan undid the button of JJ pants with such urgency she was sure the button had popped off and ricocheted off the shower wall. He then yanked them along with her panties down her legs with such force she nearly fell over. And she would have if he had not caught her after he hastily tossed her remaining clothes on the floor outside the shower.
JJ felt totally exhilarated by his actions. It turned her on making her want him even more.
Even his extremely aroused state Morgan couldn't stop the hitch of his breathe in his throat when he took in the sight of JJ's completely naked body- she was exquisite. His nostril flaring his primal urges completely took over. He grabbed JJ spinning her around so her back was pressed firmly to his front his erection straining through the confines of his pants as his hands roamed over her flat stomach and perky breasts his fingertips skirting just above her curls and his his ultimate goal.
Moaning at the sensations he was inflicting upon her JJ reached up behind her pulling his mouth to hers their tongues sloppily dueling while her other hand tightly clenched as much of the wet fabric covering his upper thigh that she could. The feel his growing erection and the friction of the rough material of his jeans as she rubbed the outer edge of her core against him sent shivers down her spine making her wet. She wanted him to so bad she could almost taste it. The idea of him dominating her sent a pang of anticipation and arousal to the pit of her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to help him forget all about Carl Buford and the things he subjected him to.
JJ didn't expect this to be soft and tender nor did she want it to be. The feelings of attraction had been building up within both of them for such a very long time that going slow was nearly impossible. No, she didn't want soft and slow, she wanted hard and sexy. She wanted him to fuck her…hard. She wanted him to fuck her the way two people do when the unspoken sexual tension between them is so thick they need a chainsaw to cut through it.
Morgan broke away from their and inhaled strongly a low deep rumble formed inside his chest when he felt JJ rub her ass against his jeans and straining erection within. His wet clothes clung to him so tightly his penis actually hurt as his erection was denied the proper room to expand. The feel of JJ squeezing his upper thigh hadn't helped much either.
Putting his forearm across her chest holding her in place against him he whispered "don't move" in her ear. He needed a moment to collect himself as the pain of his erection against his tightened clothes began clouding his thoughts. They needed to come off and now.
As if sensing his 'problem' and wanting so badly to have him inside her JJ spun around within his grasp. While she kissed and nipped around his neck, ear and chin her deft hands unbuttoned and lowed the zipper of his jeans. As she pushed his pants and briefs down his long legs her lips never broke contact with his skin as they kissed and nipped they own path down his chest and stomach.
Morgan's eyes fluttered shut his head titled back and his mouth hung open at the sensations JJ's lips were creating within him. Once freed his erection became full grown and it ached for a different reason. Pulling her back up to his level Morgan kissed JJ so hard their teeth scraped together at one point. Pushing her up against the cold tile of the shower wall JJ's body arched into his her hardened nipples pressing against his solid chest her wet curls rubbing against his erection making JJ moan loudly.
"Fuck" she heatedly moaned her body exploding in a mass of shivers and tingles as his body rubbed against hers
Hearing her throaty moan Morgan growled in response to his own overwhelming aroused need for her. Deciding enough was enough that he needed be inside her he quickly spun her around pressing the front of her body against the wall positioning her arms above her head one of his hands locked together with one of hers while the other rested across her stomach. He knew by her body's reaction he didn't need to check- she was wet and ready for him just as he was ready for her. Spreading her legs apart with his knee he pressed on her stomach pulling her lower body towards him as he positioned himself at her entrance. He could feel her excitement and anticipation in the quick expansion and collapse of her chest. Smug at knowing he could unnerve the usual controlled and reserved woman Morgan kissed and nipped along her neck moving his hand from her down through her curls but stopping just shy of her clit.
The second her sensitive nipples pressed against the cold hard tile wall a shudder she thought would literally break her in half flashed throughout her body. Resting the side of her face against the cold tile she closed her eyes and waited in heavy anticipation for the man behind her to ravage her body with his.
"What do you want?" he whispered running his lips and tongue along her ear lobe
"You" she replied. The feel of his hot breath and lips on her ear lobe JJ's legs nearly dropped out from beneath her. If his arm was wrapped across her stomach she was sure she would have.
Circling the tip of her clit with his index finger he repeated his question this time in a deeper more husky tone "what do you want?"
JJ thought she was going to explode "you. I want you…." JJ tried to concentrate on catching her breath so she could continue "inside me"
"Yes" he growled putting a hand on her hip for leverage he thrust his erection up deep within her. He managed to go all the way to her hilt in one large thrust.
Her forehead pressed firmly against the wall JJ balled her hands into fists one of them squeezing against Morgan's grip as she moaned out his name partially in pain at how deep he'd managed to go in one thrust and partially in ecstasy as the same thrust set every nerve ending along her lower body ablaze.
Morgan closed his eyes and buried his face in the crook of JJ's neck rolling his hips until his thrusts found a steady hard pounding rhythm. Their slick wet bodies slid against each other as Morgan poured all his long buried lust for her into each thrust. Feeling her hand on his cheek he leaned into her palm peppering it with kisses before their lips met passionately him feeling as though he could swallow her whole if given the opportunity. That's how good she tasted to him.
Sliding his hand back down her body he massaged the outside of her mound as he adjusted his thrusts going from long hard thrusts to short pounding thrusts leaving her moaning and gasping for air her nails digging into the side of his neck. Smiling Morgan pulled some of her wet matted hair away from her neck licking and nipping moving his lips up next to her ear before whispering in her ear "you like that?"
Her eyes rolling into the back of her head in ecstasy JJ simply nodded her head unable to speak as she bit into her lip in an effort to get her breathing back under control.
Moving his hand away from her mound JJ moaned in disappointment. Licking his lips Morgan dragged his index finger along her outer thigh to her ass cheek slowly drawing small circles before stopping then suddenly giving it an open handed slap causing JJ to gasp and her body to shiver.
"How about that? Like that too?"
When she didn't respond Morgan thrust upwards causing her to yelp
"Derek yes" she moaned tossing her head back against his chest
Morgan closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nostrils before he let out a deep growl at hearing JJ moan out his name. Giving her ass cheek a light squeeze he began thrusting and pounding into her with wild abandon "God JJ"
JJ felt as if she was being torn apart in every direction. The sensations he was eliciting within her were becoming almost too much for her to bear. The slap on her ass hurt but oh god did it turn her on and send a shot of arousal deep through her belly.
"Fuck" she moaned her arousal nearing its peak.
Feeling JJ's internal muscles clenching around him Morgan knew she was at the edge of the precipice. Wanting to see her face as his seed filled her he without warning stopped thrusting and pulled out of her making them both of them moan in disappointment at the loss of contact.
JJ's sex fogged brain didn't have time to fully process what was happening to her. All she could really comprehend at that moment as her body sagged against the wall was how empty she felt at the loss of his manhood inside her. Blinking several times to focus her vision JJ reached out wrapping her arms around Morgan's upper body pulling him in towards her so their bodies were once again touching.
Seeing her flushed cheeks, her aroused vacant expression, her breasts bounce as her chest heaved for air Morgan nearly came all over himself. His body felt like jello as JJ's arms pulled him towards her the tip of his erection pressing against her lower belly while his shaft rubbed against the curls of her mound, the friction making him hiss out in pleasure.
His overwhelming primal need for her taking over Morgan wrapped one of her legs around his waist grabbed both her hips to steady himself and again in one long hard thrust he entered her. Covering her mouth with his he swallowed her loud moan in a rough passionate kiss.
JJ thought her head was about to explode. Digging her nails into his shoulder she scratched and clawed at him trying to grab onto anything she could for leverage that would allow him to drive harder and deeper into her. She was so close
Her nails tearing at his skin spurred Morgan on even more. Moving his hands up the length of her back to the tops her shoulders tugging down on them as he drove his hips upwards in an effort to go deep within her- deeper than anyone before him. He rode her so hard the bones of their pelvis' slammed against one another.
"Oh god I'm so close" JJ moaned breaking away from their kiss the stirrings of her orgasm pooling deep within her belly
Watching her eyes roll into the back of her head Morgan began pounding into her with wild abandon pouring all his determination to wipe away the years of abuse at the hands of Carl Buford with each thrust. "Fuck Jen" he moaned pinching his eyes shut and clenching his jaw as he struggled to hold back his orgasm wanting to be sure she went over the edge first.
JJ's eyes popped open. He'd never called her by her given name before not even when he was upset and by the pained expression on his face she could tell he was forgoing his own pleasurable release in order to ensure she climaxed first. Although JJ had a feeling that pained expression carried more than just Morgan's effort to hold back his orgasm.
As she went over the brink and felt her body shatter into a million pieces her orgasm washing over her with the force of a damn bursting. She'd literally seen stars. Her body trembling as it rode out its release she kissed Morgan passionately while she raked her nails down the front of his chiseled chest to just above the spot where their bodies were joined in an effort to help and encourage him to allow himself release- release of his pent up orgasm and release of his pent up guilt.
The sensation of JJ's fingernails being dragging along his skin sent Morgan over the edge. His vision blurred and he could hear ringing in his ears as his body exploded into and reveled in the glory of his massive orgasm releasing his seed deep within JJ.
Their bodies still joined the two melted down the wall into a tangled heap on shower floor where they both rode out the remainders of their earth shattering orgasms. They stayed like that for a few minutes sated and content the water of the shower still beating down on them. The occasional shutter would travel through them signaling there were still remnants of their orgasms within them. Feeling him pull out of her JJ groaned at the feeling of emptiness the lack of his manhood left within her. Her body hummed with satisfaction from the sex it had just experienced and she had very little doubt those same muscles that hummed now would be screaming at her later because they were sore.
JJ's smiling face switched to a perplexed and concerned one when Morgan picked up his head. She couldn't tell if the liquid streaking down Morgan's cheeks was water from the shower or tears. When he closed his eyes and two lone drops from each eye streaked down his face, JJ had her answer. Her own tears threatening JJ did the first thing that came to her mind, the first thing that felt completely natural; placing a hand on either side of his face she leaned forward and peppered each eye lid with feather light kisses. She felt him tighten his hold on her lower body pulling her close so she was practically sitting his lap.
JJ pulled his head to her chest then wrapped her arms around his upper body surrounding him like a cocoon as he finally cried out all the years of torment he'd experienced. Knowing there was nothing she could do for him besides making sure he felt safe as he let it all out JJ held his him tightly against her small frame drawing small circles with her fingertips on his back in an effort to calm him. After what felt like an eternity his sobs began to die down before stopping completely.
Lifting his head off JJ's chest Morgan lightly kissed JJ before muttering something she couldn't make out over the sound of the water beating against the shower floor. Determined to know what Morgan had uttered JJ refused to release him from their embrace and when he refused to look her in the eye JJ demanded he tell her.
While she hadn't heard his exact words Morgan knew she'd heard him say something. Fearing her reaction he avoided making eye contact and remained silent. Unfortunately she wasn't letting it go and he knew she wouldn't until he told her.
Still avoiding any eye contact Morgan sighed heavily and repeated his earlier words "I'm sorry"
He was sorry she thought to herself. He'd whispered the words so softly she'd almost missed what he'd said a second time but she hadn't and it completely floored her. What in the world did he have to be sorry about? Her mind screamed the words to her over and over as her brain tried to comprehend what in the world he felt the need to be sorry for.
When she saw the sad meek expression on his face how he refused to look her in the eye and how his body practically shied away from her touch the explanation hit JJ on the head like a ton of bricks. He was apologizing to her for crying. No doubt Buford had reprimanded and or demeaned Morgan and the other boys if they cried after it was over making them feel as though they were nothing important. And having held all the anger all these years it stood to reason Morgan had also held in the tears. Six years ago he'd finally confronted the man who'd taken his innocence bringing out the truth for the world to see but he'd never confronted any of own emotions with regards to what happened to him. JJ wished she'd been there when Buford was taking his final breaths. Wished she'd gotten a turn in dealing a blow that would aid in his death. She was not a hateful or malicious person but she hoped that man suffered to the end.
"Listen to me" JJ said grabbing his face in her hands "you have nothing to be sorry for…ever. He's gone. He can't hurt you or anyone else anymore"
Looking deep into her eyes Morgan let his shoulders slump forward letting his body completely relaxing into her. All the years of guilt and anguish fading and washing away both literally and figuratively- he'd finally let go.
While the door to one chapter of his life had finally closed it seemed like another door had just opened and a second chapter was beginning.
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So what do you think? Again I haven't stopped writing Couples Retreat but I needed to do something else in the interim help take my mind off it so I could get the creative juices flowing again.
Please review!