Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.
Just a Potterwatch fic, because I can't ever seem to find any. Enjoy! :)
Keep Each Other Safe
When the tall, black-haired boy with dreadlocks appears at Remus's door with a soft pop, Remus is taking a shower. His wife-wife- he thinks to himself with awe, awe that never really goes away, not when he can open and door and see her standing there, beaming and holding a towel for him to wrap around his waist, a bulge just visible where their child was beginning to show.
"There's someone to see you, Remus," she says, and the ways she says it lets him know that it is someone important, so he throws on a bathrobe, only briefly wondering if he should take the time to put on clothes that will cover his scars. No, he decides, because Kingsley won't care, and if it's the Order then it's too important to matter.
That is why his arms and legs are showing when he steps into their living room (bought with Dora's money, because she insisted and he couldn't find a reason other than pride to argue). He steps back with surprise when he sees who it is, because there is no one he expected less than to see Lee Jordan standing sheepishly in his doorway, his hands tightly curled around a still-smoking cigarette.
"Put that out, please," he hear himself say, remembering days curled up around Sirius, taking drags from each others' cigarettes as they listened to a record, back when life, if not simple or easy, was still filled with hope.
Lee sees Remus's scars, his battered body, and is surprised. Remus can tell. But Lee has not come to be surprised, so Remus watches his former student push the shock to the back of his mind. Maybe, when this war is over, Lee will revisit this day again and allow the emotion to run over him, but there is no time this day.
"Kingsley sent me," says Lee, sitting on the couch. Dora's mother has supplied a patchwork cover for it, one that makes their apartment more lived in than it is, and Lee allows his fingers to play with the edges of it. Lee, Remus remembers, has always always fidgeted.
"I have an idea," said Lee. "I think it's a good one, but I would need your help."
And Potterwatch is born.
Tonight they are making their broadcast from an abandoned storehouse. He and Lee are playing, of all things, wizard chess, although they are both preoccupied. Remus is winning, but barely, and it is with a preoccupied mind that he decides to move his rook. It was the wrong decision, and the rook knows it as it cowers in fear of Lee's queen.
Lee is just as unaware of the game as Remus is, because he doesn't even notice the actions of the rook and the queen and misses the opportunity, moving his bishop instead. Even the game is starting to get bored, only halfheartedly going through their taunting motions.
"How long do you think we'll be able to hide?" asks Lee. "How long before they discover us?"
Remus doesn't want to answer, because he thinks of a previous war, of years and years of secrets and hiding that destroyed friendships and ripped apart lovers, ending with him spending a decade sharing his life with unyielding loneliness.
"I don't know," he says, and he realizes how tired he sounds, as tired as he knows he looks. He is living through his second war and feels like it's his fifth. "Maybe tonight's the night. Maybe not."
Lee's eyes widens, and Remus realizes he is scaring him. He finds that he regrets it.
"Probably not," he adds unconvincingly. "Probably never."
It was a lie that came true.
When Remus is on air, he wonders how many listeners recognize his voice. If they know him, Romulus is nothing more than a formality and they are comforted in his voice. If not, he is shapeless, nameless, faceless. They do not know him and they never will. They will never know that he is a werewolf and they will never fear him for it. When he is talking on Potterwatch, he has many friends.
When he has finished speaking and turns his thoughts away from the news he has Lee Jordan. It is only later, when he is home, that he has his wife. When he is Remus Lupin, he has one person at a time. When he is Romulus, he has everyone.
"This is it, you know," said Lee. "This ends it all."
He is smoking, and even Tonks isn't complaining as she cradles Teddy in her arms, hair shoulder-length and blonde. Remus is glad he's not smoking. It would give away how badly his hands are shaking.
They had gotten together to plan the next Potterwatch. Remus knew now that there would never be another Potterwatch. Not with him. He could feel it.
Lee stands up, left hand still holding his bottle of butterbeer. "I'll be going then," he says, and Remus remembers that when they aren't on Potterwatch, Lee Jordan is a nineteen year-old boy with friends and a future and Remus is a thirty-eight year-old man with a wife and child and has only the ghosts of friends. There are nearly two decades between them, and Remus has never felt it more than in that last handshake.
Lee leaves to go find Fred and George, who are still alive, still witty, still bravely defying Voldemort the only way they can, with humor and jokes to dull the pain of loss. It is a trick Remus has never learned.
Remus stands up too, but it is to beg his wife to please, please stay home, because Teddy needs a parent, and he secretly knows that he would be much better off with his mother than his father. She does not cry, but he can see her frustration and anger in her eyes and he promises that, just like last time, he will come back.
He meant it when he said it.
To be fair, she never came back either.
"Hello, witches and warlocks. This is your ever-gracious host River, or, as there's now no need for these clever monikers, Lee Jordan. Welcome to the last ever broadcast of Potterwatch, the only Wizarding station that tells the truth about You-Know-Who. Or should I say told; there is no You-Know-Who now. For those of you who've been away or living under a dark rock, Harry Potter defeated the wizard widely known as Lord Voldemort last week at the popularly nicknamed Battle of Hogwarts; so-called, I presume, because it occurred at Hogwarts.
"I am not on the air today to tell you that Voldemort is dead, because, in all honesty, I'm pretty sure you know that already. It's the other people I want to talk about, the people who gave their lives to make sure we could enjoy ours. In a moment I'll pass it off to Royal-or should I say Kingsley- and let him read you the full list and a little bit about them all so you know why you should care, but first I'd like you to know about the deaths of two of our very own.
"It...hurts me to say that my own esteemed friend, Mr. Fred Weasley, was killed at the Battle of Hogwarts. His family and friends, especially his twin brother, are devastated at this loss and his friendliness, kindness towards others, and bold humor in the face of danger will be sorely missed. Those of you who know Weasley's Wizard Wheezes or remember our guest speaker Rapier, I kindly ask you to bow your head in a moment of silence...
"...It pains me no less to report the death of someone our listeners may remember even better than Fred, a man who encouraged you through these dark times, our very own Romulus. He was an exceptionally kind man who never failed to see the good in people and, no matter whether you were one of his students at Hogwarts or not, had much to teach you about tolerance, warmth, and never judging a book by its cover. Mr. Remus Lupin is sorely missed by his friends and is survived by a son, Teddy Lupin. If you, the listeners, ever relied on him...the way I know I did...to get you through this darkest of nights, please bow your head in a moment of silence and never forget him either. Keep each other safe: keep faith. Good night. Lee out."
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