The Otaku's Lament…
You KNOW that You're Not An Akatard Anymore When…
I stared at the laptop screen, starting to get teary-eyed. Nearly all of my favorites were composed of Naruto material and today…it just didn't appeal as much to me. I clicked on that video of Tobi pissing off Deidara during episode number I-forgot-what and just stared as Tobi went off being the idiot he is. Normally, I would be laughing my head off by now, but it just wasn't funny anymore…
Bored with the video, I clicked on a Hetalia Axis Powers AMV. I at first giggled, then, in a matter of seconds, I was laughing so loud that whoever was in the other room was yelling at me for the noise. Soon, I composed myself after laughing for almost more than five minutes. Hetalia episodes were only five minutes in length, but it's totally worth watching it in my opinion.
After catching up on the most popular Hetalia couples, I realized that I had to update my Naruto fanfiction. Opening up Microsoft Word 2007, I instantly typed up the chapter title, then, my fingers stopped. In my opinion, I couldn't care less of what would happen to my original characters or even the Akatsuki. Oh my God! What is wrong with me?!?
Suddenly, I closed the document, turned off my laptop, and then shoved my face into my favorite throw pillow. For the past two to three years, all I could think about was the Akatsuki, now, it feels like I couldn't care less of what could become of them. I pulled myself together and turned my laptop on again. After logging in, I opened up Microsoft Word 2007 to a brand new document, and entitled it: "You KNOW that You're Not An Akatard Anymore When…"
You KNOW that You're Not An Akatard Anymore When…
You don't bid on Akatsuki memorabilia on eBay.
You want to change your Akatsuki-based username to something else.
Who the hell cares about who has a stupid Sharingan anymore?!? Danzou had one, for fuck's sake, I could even have one!
You know what Deidara?!? Art is NOT a fucking bang!!!
Sasori, you're a creepy rip-off of Pinnochio, you're puppets aren't ART either.
Pain, YES, I KNOW YOU'RE TRUE IDENTITY YOU JERK, you aren't 'God.'
Konan, I give you credit for not going completely insane living with these guys…
To HELL with the Naruto manga anymore!
Kakuzu, you're a cranky old, frugal, cheap jerk.
Hidan, shut the [rest of sentence censored]!
Kisame, your mother is Jaws, stop being in denile.
SasGAY, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN THE ONCE-PWNSOME ORGANIZATION CALLED 'AKATSUKI', SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE ALREADY.
Itachi, you need a freaking seeing-eye dog, stop denying it.
You don't plan on starting an Akatsuki cosplay group with your friends anymore.
You can watch the movie 'Jaws' WITHOUT laughing.
You can listen to the song 'Weasel Stomping Day' by Weird Al Yankovic without laughing.
You can listen to the song 'Master of Puppets' by Metallica and not think of Sasori.
You can listen to the song 'Boom Boom Boom' by the Venga Boys and not think of Deidara.
You can listen to the song 'Money, Money, Money' by ABBA and not think of Kakuzu.
You can listen to the song 'Maneater' by Nelly Furtado and not think of Zetsu.
You don't wear your ring on the same finger as your favorite Akatsuki member.
You just get sick of any Akatsuki pairing.
You can't make anymore Akatsuki references to random stuff.
You don't think of Pain/Leader whenever it's raining.
You don't think of Konan when you hear the word 'origami.'
You don't bawl your eyes out, aware of the fact that nearly the whole Akatsuki is dead.
Tobi, you are SO NOT a good boy, it's all your fault that all this shit happened!
Zetsu, you're a freak of nature and a cannibal.
You can't think of anymore things to add to this list…
After saving and closing the document, I took one more glance at my Akatsuki desktop background, and then opened up Safari to look for a new background on Photobucket.
The End
~*~*R.I.P. Akatsuki: A criminal organization that Kishimoto abused and killed with CRAPPY PLOT TWISTS, thanks a lot Kishimoto, you JERK.*~*~