"Harry Potter, triwizard champion, The-boy-who-lived, the only wizard known to have lived the killing curse… Who CARES? When you have my looks what does it matter? Now if only everyone else would notice this.. I mean are people that oblivious to my absolute perfection? I fucked a horse! How do you not notice shit like that?" Harry was laying awake at 2 am, it was way too hot to sleep. He got up and went to go sit at his desk. He pulled out a paper and a quill and began to write.
Sirius,
Hey has anyone ever said to you "ARE YOU CRAZY?" and you just said "No, I'm Sirius." And they just have to figure out if you maent your name is Sirius or you're actually being serious… I was just wondering anyway. I miss you so much...I have hot dreams about you dearest godfather.. I love you so much. I wish I was with you…where ever you are. I wish I could comfort you… I get hard when ever I think of you… I want your mouth on lil' Harry so bad… mmmmm….oh yeah, yes..more..oh god I'm about to blow…YES YES YES!
Lots of Love,
Harry
Harry accidently got some of his semen on the parchment, but that's O.K because Sirius would LOVE that anyway… Harry woke Hedwig.
"Sorry girl, I know you're sleeping but this is urgent." Hedwig bit Harry so hard that blood was drawn…
"Ah, it's o.k I know it's late...I promise when you come back I'll give you a surprise…" Harry pointed at his crotch and winked. When she left he went back to sleep. He dreamt of Sirius, and oddly of Draco Malfoy…