February 6, 2009

I laid awake, tracing the plains of Edward's bare chest dully with my finger. Not even my new "high definition" eyes could ever get used to his overwhelming beauty. The air was still heavy with triumph, and I couldn't help thinking of the day's earlier events. Had they all REALLY happened? Although I knew it did, I still couldn't grasp it. The idea that I thought that by this time tonight Edward and I, aswell as the rest of our family, would be dead and that my Nessie would be running for her life seemed another lifetime away, now. Now, I was laying here, with everything I could have ever asked for.

"Love..." Edward whispered, shifting from his position to sit up. I sat up with him, without even noticing. Before I could even think, my face was in his hands and his lips were on mine. His tongue traced my bottom lip before he pulled away gently, not because he had to be careful anymore, but because I knew before he even did it that he wanted to look in my eyes.

"Bella, love, what are you thinking. Right now?" he said, half smiling. I didn't stop to tell him, I more or less showed him. I playfully pushed him back down and I laid across his chest, pressing my lips to his neck, his throat, his lips. I could feel his smile break our kiss.

"What's so funny?" I asked, working my face into a confused look, the crease between my eyebrows forming.

Edward continued smiling, obviously refusing to answer my question. He sat up, taking my hand. I sat up and rested my head on his bare shoulder, not because I was tired, but because I needed to be close to him. I breathed in his beautiful honey-lilac scent, momentarily distracted. If there was one thing I knew about being a vampire was that they hardly ever get distracted, but Edward had that effect on me, still.

"Bella, I just had a thought, love. I honestly don't think it was funny, I'm just happy. Overwhelmingly happy. I never had a hope in the world that we would ever get to continue this, and yet here we are, the same as we used to be. Renesmee is here with us, you're here with me, and I get to have you for... forever."

Taking that in, I felt my eyes prick. Surely if I was still human, I would have been sobbing uncontrollably.

"For-forever." I choked out. Since when could vampires stutter? I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, kissed him behind his ear, and got up. Edward's speech made me want to have my daughter with me. I needed to hear her heart beat close to me and I needed to watch her dream.

I ran silently, feet barely touching the ground, to my closet. I took a deep breath. Silk... satin... denim... cotton. Just what I needed. I took a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tanktop out of a drawer, got dressed and was back in our room within three seconds.

"Babe, can you get dressed? I want Renesmee." I thought while pushing my shield away from myself on my way to her room. I opened her bedroom door silently, the light from the hallway spilling onto the hardwood floor. I crept to her bed.

The only thing more beautiful than Renesmee while she was awake was Renesmee while she was sleeping. Her curls were spawled all over her pillow. Her lashes were the longest I've seen. Her face was peaceful. That child never had a nightmare. I scooped her up in my arms quickly, she never so much as stirred. Her arms wrapped around me.

"Mommy..." she whimpered.

"Yes baby, it's ok. You're just going to sleep with Daddy and I tonight. Go back to sleep." I whispered in her ear.

I layed her down next to Edward, who ran his fingers through her hair and then kissed her forehead. It was evident that Edward was wrapped around her finger tighter than anyone else. He began humming my lullabye as I layed down on the other side of Nessie. I took Edward's hand in one of mine and Nessie's in the other. At that moment, I could see my whole family looking back at me, smiling. Charlie, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice. The picture changed to my battered and dead-looking face the day Renesmee was born. Then, it changed to a scene with Jacob and her in La Push, all by themselves. I knew that this is what Renesmee wanted, to have a day to herself with Jacob in the place where he came from, but I also knew that this was not possible. Renesmee definitely could not be seen by mortal eyes, yet.

I felt her hand stir in mine. I let go to find Nessie looking at Edward, a confused look on her face, the dent in between her eyebrows identical to mine.

"Daddy?"

"What is it, baby?" Edward said, passing his hands through Nessie's hair, as he always did when she was scared or nervous or sad.

"Where's Jake?"

"He's gone home for the night, baby. He's had a long and stressful day, we all have. He thought that with everything that had happened today, we would want a night alone with you. He'll be here in the morning." Edward reassured her. The crease in her forehead appeared once more, faded, and then she was asleep. Edward pulled her into his arms, and he whispered a Spanish lullabye that I had never heard before in her ear. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. I settled myself comfortably in his other arm and put my arm around Renesmee, aswell.

I didn't know how it could possibly get any better than this.

February 7, 2009

"Mommy," Renesmee whispered, pressing her hot little hand on my cheek. She showed me a picture of a brilliant sunset, accented with pink and deep purple clouds. She wanted to know if it was time to wake up yet.

"Yes, it's about that time. Do you want to get up?" She sat up, rubbing her eyes, her hair a disastorous but beautiful mess. It made me giggle. She yawned, her little mouth forming into a perfect and adorable "O". She looked around, obviously searching for Edward.

"It's alright, Ness. He's not far, he's just getting dressed." I reassured her. She flashed her brilliant smile, sat herself down on my lap and nestled her face in my hair, inhaling deeply. I rested my cheek on the top of her head, closing my eyes.

Just then, Edward walked in, wearing a pair of dark-washed jeans and a simple white button down shirt. He smiled, but did not say anything. He crossed the room and layed on his stomach next to us, the sunlight coming from the window danced across his face, sending diamond glints everywhere. Renesmee touched his face. He paused for a moment, then laughed quietly.

"Yes, Nessie, the sun's pretty today. But it still isn't as beautiful as you." he said, crooked smile and all. Renesmee jumped playfully on his back, giggling. He stood up.

"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey." he said, and I couldn't help smiling at my nickname, which he passed on to Nessie, or the memories of us high in the trees. She put her arms around his neck in a choke-hold fashion and off he ran.

I looked out the window to find him running with her through the meadows, both of them laughing. He stopped and I could hear her say "Again, Daddy!". It was a good thing that she did not inherit my human vulnerability to get dizzy easily. Her curls fell behind her as the wind picked them up, and she could barely keep her eyes open. Then, I couldn't see them anymore, and they were right behind me.

Nessie walked over and tugged on my pyjama pants. I picked her up and rested her on my hip. She was still breathless.
"How was that, baby?"

"Momma, it was great!" she said, and she pressed her hand to my cheek, playing the scene over for me.

I picked her up gently - as gentle as I could without throwing her through the ceiling - and I threw her in the air and caught her again. She kissed my cheek, still laughing. Edward came up behind us, putting his strong arms around my waist. He kissed me behind my ear.
"I love you, both. So much." he whispered, his soft breath tickling my ear. Renesmee reached for him, and he took her tenderly in his arms.
"Daddy, I love you, too." she said. Edward kissed her forehead.
Just then, Edward's cell-phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and sighed while he read the caller ID. He put the phone to his ear and I could hear Emmett's booming, teasing voice on the other line.
"Emmett, Bella won the arm wrestling match. Game over." Edward said.
"Ah, come on Edward. You know I honestly can't resist." Emmett replied.
"I'm sure Bella will disagree. Anyway, what's up?"
"Jacob's here, Esme's making a huge breakfast for him and Seth. Thought you guys would want to come and socialize with your family, it's not like you have anything better to do with your time."
"Ha, very funny. We'll be there in a minute or two."
I couldn't let Emmett get off that easily. A deal was a deal. I took the phone from Edward.
"Emmett, I would like to make myself very clear. Keep in mind that I will be stronger than you for a long time, and I'm really good at coming up with my own jokes, too. I never want to hear ANY jokes, no matter how mildly suggestive they are, about my se- you-know-what life coming from you again. Understand?"
"Yes, Mom." Emmett chuckled.
"Oh, you be thankful that I'm not your mother." I said, almost bitterly.
Edward was looking at me, laughing. I shot him a fake dirty look. I took Nessie from him, and went to her room to get her dressed. How had Alice already went shopping for Renesmee when she was barely home for twenty-four hours? There was a new rack in Renesmee's closet. Leave it to Alice to buy a three-year-old - or a four-month-old who was the size of a three-year-old - name brand clothes that I could only assume were Italian designed. I let Renesmee pick out her own clothes: a pair of light-washed jeans, a long sleeve white cotton t-shirt and a purple blouse, which she layered over the t-shirt. She definitely took after Alice when it came to clothes, she already had an obsession with layering.
After I was done getting Renesmee dressed, I went to my own closet. I didn't want to give Alice a reason to comment on my attire during her first day back with us, so I tried to dress to impress her, for once. I found a bare of dark wash skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, a black vest and a blue plaid scarf. Alice would love the style.

I stepped out of the closet, where Edward was waiting with a very impatient Renesmee in his arms, her little lips set into a pout.
"Momma, can we please go?" she asked in her high voice. I took Edward's hand, and as soon as we were outside, we were running. It took less than a minute to get to the house. I could hear distant murmurs, all sounding excited. Edward set Renesmee down, and she took my hand.
"Jake's here, isn't he, Momma?" she asked, looking up at me, her smile the widest I'd ever seen it. I nodded, and she ran up the stairs. Edward chuckled and put his hand on the small of my back. We followed Renesmee closely up the stairs. She burst through the door before us.
"JAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEEEE!"
We came into the room in time to see Renesmee already in Jacob's arms. Jake's eyes looked more alive than I'd seen them in a long time. We'd been living with the thought that we were all going to die for weeks. It felt strange, to be able to see everyone happy and not feel the remorse or sadness behind it.
"Ness, if you keep growing at this rate, you'll be taller than me by next week."
I could smell the scent of maple coming from the kitchen, smell the flour and the eggs. If I were still human, my mouth would have been watering. Esme came into the room with a platter of every breakfast food the size of a small table. Always the good hostess. Always motherly. She set the platter down on the coffee table.
"Bella, sweety, How was your night?"
Emmett, who was sitting on the couch with Rosalie sitting on his lap, chuckled. Rose playfully punched him, and I shot him a look that could kill.
"My night was great, thanks." I replied, still eyeing Emmett. Esme wrapped her arms around me. Alice danced into the room, all smiles.
"Bella!" she exclaimed when she saw me, and she too, hugged me. She looked me over.
"Bella, you're actually dressed like... like a girl!"
"Gee, thanks." I said. She hugged me again.

"Bella, you NEED to come to Paris with me someday. They have the cutest boutiques for children and then the shoe stores are to die for..." I let her go on, but I wasn't listening. I was busy watching Jacob with Nessie. They were sitting in the chair the furthest away from me. Nessie was on Jake's lap, looking happy as ever, as if yesterday had never happened. Jake tickled her, and she was laughing uncontrollably, the kind of laugh that came right from the belly, the kind that was contageous. It was the most beautiful thing I'd heard in a long, long time. I laughed, too.

Jake caught me staring, and I looked away quickly, without even thinking. I looked back and he was chuckling to himself quietly, shaking his head. He walked over, Nessie on his shoulders.

"Momma, I'm taller than you AND Jake!" she said, looking down at Jake and sticking her tongue out at him. He returned the stuck-out tongue.

"Hey, Bells. Would it be OK if I took her sliding? I'll have her home in two or three hours, there's a trail by the river that leads to a pretty cool hill. She'd love it." Jake asked. I liked it, that he was finally taking my consideration into effect. That it actually felt like she was just mine.

"Uh, no problem, Jake. Just be sure she's dressed warm. It's cold outside." I said, and then I remembered: Charlie.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry Jake. I wanted to take her to see Charlie today. He hasn't seen her since Christmas." I really felt sorry, Jake seemed so excited.

"It's cool, Bells. Maybe tommorow, Nessie." He took her down from his shoulders and set her on her feet.

She ran over to the couch and pulled herself onto Rose's lap. She began to play with her hair, and I was surprised to see that Rose didn't so much as wince. Renesmee truly had her wrapped around her little finger as much as Edward.