A/N: "Estrogen Boy" begins a little over a year after "Thicker Than Water."
Disclaimer: I don't own House.
Chapter One: Patient
"He's in his office, Kyla," Nurse Emo said as Kyla approached the front desk.
"Thanks, Emo!" Kyla said as she headed towards the elevator.
"Tell him we're out of cherry lollipops again," Emo called.
"Will do, Emo," Kyla said as the elevator doors closed behind her.
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Kyla was humming a song when Wilson entered House's office.
"New song?" Wilson asked Kyla.
"Yeah...but it's for a class assignment," replied Kyla, sitting in House's chair.
"Where's House?"
"The clinic, eating all the cherry lollipops he stole from the nurses," replied Kyla. "Why?"
"I wanted to ask him to take a look at a patient of mine," explained Wilson.
"Exam room two."
"Thanks, Kyla."
"No problem."
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"Having fun?" Wilson asked House as he entered exam room two.
"Close the door--quick!" whispered House.
"Cuddy probably already knows you don't any patients in here," Wilson pointed out.
"She thinks that there's a nudist in here," replied House.
"Nudist?"
"Do you want me to look at your patient or not, Wilson?"
Suddenly it dawned on Wilson what House meant by "nudist."
"How did you find out?"
"Kyla saw the name on the file," replied House.
"Promise to keep it secret?"
"A false name for the ducklings...Banning them from the patient's room...I could do that. But who would draw blood for me?"
"Kyla could. I know you've been teaching that kind of thing since the shooting at her school over a year ago," replied Wilson.
"You realise your 'patient' has symptoms simallar to those of that C.E.O. I treated a while back?" remarked House, reading the file.
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House limped into the diagnostic office, tossing three files onto the table.
"What's this?" Cameron asked as she opened a file.
"Our newest patient," answered House.
"Who is James House?" Chase asked.
"My cousin," replied House, writing the symptoms on the whiteboard.
"There's no history," remarked Foreman.
"What room is he in?" added Cameron.
"That's because the patient has requested that I--and I alone--enter his hospital room," explained House.
"And why's that?" asked Chase.
"Because Cousin James is very shy and he'd likely have a panic attack if any one of you came in," replied House.
Kyla entered the diagnostic office at this point, dressed in turquoise scrubs.
"Why is Kyla dressed like that?" demanded Foreman.
"Meet James House's 'nurse,'" announced House.
Kyla beamed at House's statement.
"Need me to draw blood or anything, Doctor?" Kyla asked.
"Not yet. I'll page you later," replied House.
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Kyla entered the darkened hospital room.
"James?" she called.
"Hey, Kyla," Wilson answered.
"House says he'll page me when he wants anything from you," Kyla told him before he could ask, with a slight smirk on her face.
"I hear Jamie's been asking you to go on a date," Wilson remarked.
"I don't to go out with your nephew, Wilson."
"Why's that?" Wilson asked.
Kyla's reply surprised Wilson. She kissed him full on the lips.
"Kyla...your dad will kill both of us if he ever finds out that you just kissed me like that."
"I don't care."
"You should," Wilson replied.
"Be honest. You liked it," Kyla challenged.
"Just because I liked it doesn't mean a relationship between us will work."
"I know how much you find House attractive, Wilson."
"And?"
"If we ever got married, I wouldn't mind if you cheated on me with House," replied Kyla, "as long as I can cheat on you with Cuddy."
"You've inherited your father's sense of humor, Kyla."
"No, I'm serious!"
"Cuddy would never slept with you, Kyla."
"Cameron? One of the female nurses?"
"Nurse Emo might."
"Emo's a lesibian who doesn't find me sexually attractive."
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A/N:Chapter Two's coming as fast as I can type it up...which isn't all that fast...REVIEW!!!