This fan fiction is dedicated to my best friend Abby, who begged me to write it because apparently the number of Kujo and Kadoma fan fics are very few. So, HERE IT IS!!! MY LONG AWAITED KUJO AND KADOMA FAN FICTION! *fanfare, parade, standing ovation, balloons, fireworks, etc.*
Please, please, no need for applau-*shot for excessive convidence in work*
Ahem, yes, well, here it is. Enjoy! *runs from angry mob that chases after anyone with inflated self-esteem*
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Imagine if you will, a superhero. However, this is not your everyday superhero. This is Kujo. He does not wear a spandex costume or have a cape. He does not use a secret identity. He goes around mask free in his karate uniform, protecting the small and weak from the evils of the surrounding world with his super-karate action and exceedingly creepy comments! He resides in Dorm One of Osaka High School, just a regular student, and Vice President of Osaka High's Karate Club.
On this particular afternoon, as Karate Club was letting out for the day, Kujo stood musing over a rather puzzling occurrence. Tennoji, the Karate Club President, as well as Kadoma, a wimpy yet determined first year, who he had taken a particular interest in, had both been absent from today's meeting.
Out of no where, he heard a shout from out behind the cafeteria building. Kujo, because he is a superhero after all, leaped into action and headed over to the sound of the trouble. What he found surprised and annoyed him.
"Oh no!!!" Nakastu lamented, sprawling at the bottom of the staircase. "It seems I have fallen down the stairs! Whatever shall I do?"
Kujo blinked. "Get up, dumb ass. You're not hurt." Hey, just 'cause he's a superhero doesn't mean he needs to be nice. "And why are you talking like that? You're making even more of a fool of yourself."
Nakatsu frowned and got up. "It was for dramatics. I mean, I thought it was appropriate, seeing as the narrator was acting like such a nut, talking like one of those announcers from cheesy old 80s and 90s comics."
"Oh, so you noticed that too, eh?" Kujo asked, relieved he wasn't just imagining my ridiculousness.
Nakatsu nodded, rolling his eyes. "It's hard NOT to notice, actually."
"Agreed," Kujo said. "Narrator, you need to shut the hell up."
But Kujo! If I, quote, "shut the hell up," I would no longer be able to tell your story!
"Then narrate without being such an idiot, or we'll get a new one!!!"
*Sigh* Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
ANYWAY…..
Kujo helped Nakatsu gather his things before heading off to the showers. He was about halfway through when he heard another shout. Breifly, he considered ignoring this; after all, he was in the shower. Plus, the last time he had rushed to help when he'd heard a scream, he'd met an imbecile who'd fallen down the stairs. But then it came again, a clear "HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" from somewhere on campus. He could not ignore a call for help, so he shut off the shower, half the shampoo still in his hair, threw on a fresh karate uniform, and hurried off to find the victim.
He searched for a good five minutes (he was in the shower, give him a break! Sounds are distorted there) and stopped dead. On the soccer field was Kadoma, wearing a dress. A huge, puffy, frilly dress. He was trying to run from a larger student, wearing a ski mask to hide his face, but kept slipping because he was also wearing heels.
"Tennoji!" Kujo called, running over. "WHAT are you DOING!?"
Kadoma's head snapped up. "Kujo senpai!" he said, beaming at his rescuer.
The other student spun around. "How did you know it was me?" Tennoji asked.
Kujo cocked an eyebrow. "Who else would it be?"
There was an awkward silence following this comment, and Kujo said, "So, what are you doing with poor Kadoma?"
Tennoji stammered. "It's not my fault! He looks so much like a girl!!"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, don't you think he belongs in a dress?" Tennoji demanded.
"Yes. But, I'm the only person he's ever allowed to be in a dress in front of, and when that happens it's not to be ANYTHING this elaborate. Where did you even GET that thing?"
Kadoma blushed scarlet and so, surprisingly, did Tennoji. "I-uhm, got it from the drama department."
Kujo nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, well, you do realize I'm going to have to kick your ass now."
Tennoji's eyes bugged. "Why?"
"Not only did you put Kadoma in a dress, but I wasn't here to approve of it! I'm sorry, president, but you must be punished."
An epic karate battle ensued, with many awe-inspiring moves and, of course, Tennoji running away crying, and yelling about how sorry he was, the result of a shameful defeat for a shameful deed.
Kujo smugly turned to Kadoma, who was staring at his senpai with sparkly-eyed admiration. "WOW, Senpai!" he gasped. "That was AMAZING!"
"All in a day's work, Kadoma," Kujo assured him, patting him on the head. "Come on, let's get you out of that dress."
Well, alls well, it ends well, I guess. But wait!! What's this? AH, apparently even the great Kujo has his weaknesses. It seems that because most of Kujo's speaking is used for his creepy commenting powers and instructing the Karate Club, his voice is very fragile. Today he used it so much while superhero-ing that it has temporarily shut down! Oh well, at least he has Kadoma to take care of him! Let's take a looksee:
"Oh, my, Senpai!" Kadoma cries. "You're voice has died! Don't worry!! I'll make you some tea!!"
He hurries off to find a teapot and stove while Kujo chuckles silently, sitting down on his bed and grabbing the latest issue of Karate Weekly.
Awe, such a good little minion! Farewell, Kujo! Good job and good luck healing your voice!