Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The list of the things that Miley hates it's not true, I couldn't find a lot so I just copied everything from an actual episode of MTV's Disaster Date. Hope you like it and review.

Nick's POV

Disaster Date #243 – "Homeless Joe"

What's up MTV? I'm Nick and today I'm gonna send my best friend Miley on a Disaster Date. One time she sent me to the worst blind date ever, she was so self-consious and wouldn't stop talking about herself so now it's time for my revenge.

Miley hates:

Guys with no life goals

Guys with bad hygiene

Cheap guys

"Sup guys? Today I'm playing Joseph, who's living his own way of life…I'm homeless"

And it all started now, that was the actor of the "date" and now I just saw Miley entering the restaurant, this is gonna be good. I was, as you may know in the control room behind the restaurant with the director and the staff people.

"Miley? Hi, I'm Joseph" said the actor standing up from his chair and stretching his hand and shanking it with hers. "You are going down, Miley" I mumbled to myself.

Timer [00:01]

"So, what's your name again?" asked Miley seating at the table.

"Joseph" he said. She just nodded.

"I like this…café" she said looking around. "Have you been here before?"

He nodded. "I passed by yesterday but didn't come in, I was saving up for the date"

"Aww" said Miley smiling while I laughed a little.

Timer [04:54]

"So do live around here or…?" Miley asked, they already have their drinks in the table, the fun it's going to start very soon, I can't wait.

"Uh…yeah, like different places" he said, she didn't look very pleasant by that, I just laughed, oh God. "I don't like responsibilities, I wake up, I don't have bills, you know? I don't have to worry about a job or anything" this was starting to be a little awkward for her, it's obvious she doesn't like the way he thinks about life, I know that look.

"I mean, I'm homeless" he said, and THAT was worth everything, she put a face like shocked but wanted to hid it, we all laughed in the room.

"You don't have a home?" she asked looking at him.

"I mean, I still have my parents"

"But where do you sleep?"

"Depends, sometimes I'm in Santa Monica, sometimes Hollywood" Oh wow, you should've looked the expression she put, she is like awkwardly smiling and trying to agree with him and go with the flow but honestly I know she's having a bad time. Then she nodded and mumbled a little 'yeah' that caused another laugh from me.

"Do you any ideas of what your future goals are?" she asked after sipping her drink.

"Not yet" he said shaking his head.

"No?" now she's getting bored.

"It's like…I'm clearing my mind" and the face again, we laughed.

Timer [17:38]

They just ordered their food and we laughed again because he wanted to order some cheap salad and she just smiled awkwardly at the waiter.

And now we can't stop laughing because he said 'you gotta be resourceful' and he literally took a loaf of bread and put it in his backpack because he said it need to have "supplies", she's going to freak out sooner or later.

Timer [45:07]

"Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom" he said standing up. She just nodded, and then I saw how she searched for her phone and started texting someone, and oh surprise it was me. 'I'm going to kill you Nicholas this guy is crazy' whenever she calls me Nicholas it's because she's very pissed, well what can I say? Revenge is sweet.

"They got a lot of soup in there" he said barefoot, in a hand he had his shoes and oh god in the other hand he had his socks soaked in water, he washed his socks in the bathroom!

"What are you…?" she said following him with her eyes, he went to the hearth and hung the socks there, wow. "You know what? I'm out!" she said to him when he sat at the table again.

"What? No, wait!" he said following her, and the director give us the sign to go out because she was walking to the door. "I have something to tell you" he said walking towards her.

"I'm an actor, those are actors, those are hidden cameras and you're on MTV's Disaster Date!" he said and then I got out laughing with her, then the people started clapping and everything.

"Oh my god!" she said while standing up and hugging, sure she was relived.

"Hey and because you lasted 30 minutes, it's a dollar a minute so here you go 30 dollars" said 'Joe' or whatever his name is. We all clapped again and now I know it all was worth it, she was happy, I was happy and she better think it twice before sending me to another blind date.