Revelations
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.
I have always wanted to write something for this episode but have never managed to get a start on it. Sometime ago I got this started. Originally it was going to be a one-shot but Morgan wasn't going to let it be.
The original idea was to just to do the hospital scene. So this short story is based between 'Revelations' and 'Fear and Loathing'. It won't be the full journey to recovery (I can recommend 'Silent Cries' by Nebula2 if that is what you are looking for – a personal favourite of mine)
So here is my latest short story . . . I hope you like it.
. . .
Prompt
Gideon: (to Reid over webcam) "Reid, if you're watching, you're not responsible for this. Do you understand me? He's perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him; he cannot break you."
. . .
Spence woke with a start. His mind was confused; images blurred and didn't make sense. As his eyes shot wide open he scanned the room, frantically looking for something that could help him make sense of it all. Then he found it.
A dark shape stirred beside him, the head that had been resting on folded arms on the edge of the bed lifted. Concerned eyes focused and a deep voice questioned, "You alright, kid?"
Spence nodded, not certain enough of his voice to try and answer.
Derek Morgan sat upright and stretched, not taking his eyes of Spence the whole time. "You sure? You look kinda shaky; want me to get a doctor? Are you cold? I can fetch and extra blanket. "
"No I'm fine . . . I just wasn't sure where I was when I woke." Spence looked down at his hands that were trembling. His mind had started to make sense of his surroundings. For someone capable of memorising the slightest of details, right now his thoughts were clouded. He could remember so much that he didn't want to recall, his time with Hankel and digging his own grave. However after that seemed a blur.
Hotch, he remembered Hotch. He had understood; he'd followed the clue. He saved him. It felt so good to hold him – was it wrong to say that of his boss. But to physically have hold of something, someone, that meant this was all over, that he was safe was beyond his wildest dreams. In fact it was only having hold of Hotch that allowed him to know it wasn't a dream and that he was really free. That feeling he remembered clearly.
Then there was JJ, the look on her face, which would haunt him forever. She had looked so gaunt and afraid. Even in the faint hint of the moonlight he could tell how pale she was. Every moment of worry was etched on her beautiful face. Holding her tight he remembered trying to reassure her. She was not to blame. This had not been her fault. He needed her to believe him.
Spence startled once more, the gentle touch of a hand on his arm. "Sorry, Kid," Derek apologised for scaring him. "You zoned out on me. I have to admit I'm concerned. You're sweating and pale. I think I should get the doctor in to check you out."
Spence scanned the blank hospital room, his mind weighing up the options. If Derek called the doctor he may just get a shot of relief from the pain, but they might also figure out what was going on. That scared him more than anything.
He didn't know if they had seen Hankel give him the drugs, he had no idea how much they knew. All he knew right now was that his symptoms fit the perfect description of a withdrawal. He needed something to stop this. Right now he wasn't strong enough to cope with the waves of pain cramping through his stomach. The feeling of nausea washing over him, as he tried to remain in control, let him know he was not ready to deal with this now.
But could he deal with them knowing?
"I just need the bathroom, that's all," Spence said weakly, moving the covers back of his bed.
"Whoa, there," Derek was up on his feet before Spence could make another move.
"I'm okay." Spence faltered as he tried to push up of the bed, then suddenly flopping back from the exertion of the simple movement.
"You are far from ok, Kid," Derek spoke as he did his best to tuck him back into bed. "Here's the deal: You stay put and I go find a doctor, and if you are lucky, one of the very nice nurses that seem keen to hang around you."
Spence snorted, swallowing the acidic taste of bile rising in his throat, "Somehow I doubt that is anything to do with me being in the room that makes the nurses want to be here."
Derek smiled, "Don't know what you mean kid. Now can I trust you to sit still?"
Spencer nodded weakly. He watched as Derek backed himself out of the room, waiting for his colleague to leave before he fully began to process his surroundings. He was a in a room on his own, he hated to think what that cost, his arm had a tube attached linked to a bag he knew had to had the purpose of rehydrating him. His head was foggy as he focused on the shadows that encircled his bed. Suddenly he needed a light on. Panicking, he reached toward a switch hoping it would give him the relief he needed. Fumbling, relief flooded as the shadows receded.
Spence focused on his breathing, trying to normalise it before Derek returned. Closing his eyes, he desperately wanted to slow each breath he took, but he seemed unable. He was unable to make his erratic inhalations settle. His head was swimming, the room spinning, he felt sick. . .
. . .
"Hey, Kid . . . come on, man . . . open those eyes; I know you can do this."
Spence tried to focus on the words. He tried hard to do what Derek was asking. He willed his eyes to open once more, but now he needed to sleep. He needed to rest to leave it all behind. It was easier this way. Just to keep his eyes shut and drift away.
. . .
Derek paced, he couldn't sit a wait any longer. His nostrils flared as he contained his anger. He hated seeing Spence like this. He prayed for Spencer to wake, he just wanted to know he was ok.
Sure the doctors had done their best to reassure him that Spencer needed plenty of rest right now and that it was perfectly acceptable for him to sleep. Stopping at the end of the bed, he watched as his colleague and friend rested.
"I'm not leaving, kid. Whatever you're going through, I'm going through it with you."