~ Set AFTER CoLS (so something like a section of my version of CoHF- except Jace's Heavenly Fire is gone)~
Shock and confusion flooded Jace's face as he took a step back to avoid Clary's touch, wondering why she would even try. It pained him to have to do this but he couldn't let himself risk burning her.
A flash of fear crept up into Clary's heart and momentarily appeared on her face which she saw behind in the mirror on the dresser in Jace's bedroom over his shoulder. Fear that Jace didn't want her now, for some reason. Fear that she was right to feel like Jace would one day stop loving her. Then she realised: that would never happen- he had just forgotten that the Heavenly Fire wasn't coursing through his veins.
"Jace," she whispered, not wanting him to become frantic, which she knew he would as he tried to defend his actions. "You dont-"
"Clary, we can't! I want to, by the Angel, I do but-"
"Jace," Clary said his name a second time, still with as much care as always but maybe with more patience. "The Fire has gone remember?" She couldn't blame him for forgetting; it'd only been 4 hours earlier and he'd been sleeping for 3 of those as ordered by Magnus and the Silent Brothers. Even when he woke he refused to touch Clary too much (he had said "just in case there was a little left"). For the past hour he'd been the same: hugging her for a few minutes then parting as soon as the temperature between them increased slightly- which Clary regarded as perfectly normal but he wouldn't believe it- and just pecking her on the lips, cheeks and hair. But he could tell by the look in her eyes when she stepped towards him that she didn't want just that.
A small smile played on his lips when she reminded him then he returned to serious again."Oh yeah... but... there's still a chance that I could hurt you, right?"
"Wrong, actually. Neither Magnus OR the Silent Brothers said anything like that, you're just being over-cautious!"
"I'm not going to risk harming-"
He was cut off by Clary's lips crashing onto his with a hungry passion. Her kisses showed him that she felt exactly how he felt: deprived. Her hands were on each side of his face, cupping his cheeks with one eventually making its way into his soft hair. Their bodies were barely centimetres apart. Jace's hands were curled into fists firmly at his side, not wanting to get carried away in case he did hurt Clary.
Clary pulled away and said softly, her face still very close to him, "that's what I think about your hesitancy." She was gazing into his eyes, her emerald eyes' colour clashing with the glowing golden in his.
The look of desperation. The fact that she was trying so hard to be patient, just for him. All for him.
The way he slipped his hands around her waist, with the same gentleness he has always had with her, reminded her of every time he touched her before the Heavenly Fire was inside him and it made her shudder. The shudder was only slight but Jace noticed, as always, and froze, checking her face for any sign of pain. To show him he didn't hurt her she leaned in close to his face and kissed him on the edge of his mouth, her other hand also making its way to his hair, then made her way along his jawline. She heard him exhale, trying (and failing) to make the breath sound steady as she reached the end of his jaw, just below his ear lobe. Heart beating faster and faster by the second, she whispered into his ear, "it doesn't burn me Jace, you'd know if it did." She moved her head back and, with her voice still low, she continued "I trust you. I'm yours."
And that was what made him cave in. He pulled her closer to him, abruptly, catching her off guard and kissed her like he'd been wanting to for so long. It amazed Clary how he could be so rough with her yet so, so gentle at the same time.
It was like all of the energy taken to restrain themselves over the past few months was put into this moment. Clary knew that she would have to take the lead because Jace wouldn't want to push her. She directed him towards his white bed in his room- still as bare and plain as it was the first time she saw it: that seemed like a lifetime ago. Without separating their lips, they lay down on the bed together, moving up towards the top end. Their kissing was still frantic- yet careful and passionate. With her hands on the bottom of his back, around his waist, Clary put her hands underneath the hem of his shirt but not lifting it off him. However, she did want it off. She wanted this. She wanted him. Jace.
Clary pulled away but only to catch her breath and lift the hem of Jace's shirt up to signal that she wanted it removed. He sat up momentarily, his knees still on either sides of her hips, to do as she wished then leaned back down to her but he was stopped a few inches away from her by her small hands against his bare chest. 'We've gone further than this before but... I should have asked her if she was ready this time.' Jace thought, disappointed but not willing to push her into doing something she wouldn't want to do.
Then he felt her hands make their way up his chest to his shoulders then to feel his biceps and back down his chest to his hard stomach where they stopped at his belt. All the while, he'd been watching her hands, bewildered, thinking that she'd actually wanted to stop. Her hands were still at his belt and, in his peripheral vision, he saw her look up to stare at his face. He was itching to be in control but she knew her own limits so he just stayed frozen, waiting for her. Probably, he thought to himself, waiting for her to stop them. She started undoing his belt, her eyes still boring into his face. That's when he looked up.
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, hoping that it was enough to make his voice normal. "Clary," his voice came out in merely a whisper; apparently clearing his throat didn't work as well as he had planned. "Clary, you don't have to do think because you think it's what I want. I only think about your best interests. I mean, this is in my interests," he glanced down at her torso underneath him, then to her hands which were still on his -now undone- belt "this is definitely in my interests but it isn't just about me. I-"
"Jace, you talk too much." She tried some light humour but a light blush danced across her cheeks then down her neck past the collar of her tank top. Jace swallowed. "I appreciate it Jace, truly, but I want this. I've told you that."
"I just wanted to make sure Clary, I'd never force you."
One of her hands reached up to his cheek and her thumb stroked his cheekbone. "I know, Jace. I know." She pulled his face down to hers to kiss him.