Mike Newton's Crazy Dream
My super crazy 1oo% insane Twilight oneshot
Disclaimer: I don't own "Twilight" it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I also don't own "Charlie the Unicorn".
One cloudy day at Forks High School, during lunch time, Mike Newton was eating a turkey sandwich and stabbing gummy bears with a fork.
He was pretending they were Edward Cullen.
What a sad, sad social life Mike had with his gummy bears and calling everyone "homies". Nerd.
Suddenly, just as he was thinking about what a loser he was, he got very tired and suddenly fell into a deep sleep...
If only I were Bella Swan's boyfriend, then my life would change... was the last thing he thought before he fell asleep.
When he opened his eyes, he was in a park, everything was bright and sunny.
Am I still in Forks...? he wondered.
And then Bella was there, holding his hand.
"W-what am I doing here!?" he stammered.
Then Bella giggled,
"Don't be so silly Mikey, we're on a date!"
"Why!?"
"Ha ha, don't be silly, Mike. You've been my boyfriend for two months now."
B-but," he was stammering again,
"I thought you were dating Edward Cullen!"
"Who?"
At this question a slow smile spread over Mike's face.
"No one. Come on." And they started walking.
Then they saw two girls squealing over a black colored book with chess peices on the cover.
"OMG, I am so on Team Edward!!!" one shrieked.
"Well..." The other said, "I'm on Team Jacob!!!"
This made Mike angry, so he walked up to them and said,
""What about me!? Why isn't there a Team Mike!?"
He proceeded to yell "Team Mike" into the sky for twenty minutes.
"Ew." They said in unison.
"Whats wrong with me!?" he asked a little louder than necessary.
"You don't sparkle..." said the Team Edward girl, who had sandy hair and a t-shirt that said 'Twilight' on it.
"I don't what...!?" Mike asked, really, really confused now.
Suddenly they were staring past Mike.
"O...M...G..." the fangirls chorused.
Mike turned around and saw (and was almost blinded by), Edward Cullen, his skin sparkling like a hundred diamonds.
"Oh Edward, you're so handsome!!!" cried Bella, throwing her arms around the copper-haired boy.
"Let's go." he said, picking her up and running away.
"Hey, I thought this was my dream!!!" Mike yelled after them.
Mike stamped his foot on the ground and yelled (again, way louder than was necessary),
"EDWARD CULLEN SUCKS!!!!!!!!"
Suddenly several girls wearing 'Twilight' and 'Team Edward' t-shirts, and holding thick hard cover books with either, a apple in hand, flower, ribbon, or chess pieces on the cover, came out of the forest. They were all glaring at him.
"Attack. " one of them whispered, and suddenly Mike was being tackled by the girls, and being hit over the head with books.
Then Mike woke up, and wailed,
"What about Team Mike!?"
Then he saw a scar on his side and said,
"Darn it, they took my freaking kidney!!!"
END/Mike Newton's Crazy Dream
Super random Mike Newton one-shot my friend and I came up with one day when we were bored.
I am aware that it absolutly sucks, and you have to have seen the youtube vid "Charlie the Unicorn" to understand the ending.
Please don't yell at me...