Hello everyone! Here I am with another songfic and, you guessed it, based off of a Celtic Woman song! This is Chloe Agnew again, singing "Nocturne" and there will be a link to the video posted on my profile page. I was going through my Celtic Woman playlist looking for inspiration and this song for some reason reminded me of Fantine, and perhaps another song she would sing to little Cosette, making this something of a prequel to "Walking in the Air" - another Les Miserables/Celtic Woman story.
Please note: This story does include some song lyrics, but not the entire song. I have already been warned about this once, so I hope just using a line here and there will be all right. If it is not, I will be more than happy to change it. But since I did not use the entire song, and I have nothing to do with writing it or owning it, I hope the story is all right the way it is.
Enjoy the story and as always, please review and favorite!
Snow.
Snow and rain. Storms and squalls. Dreariness and bleakness.
Her days seemed to be filled with all of the above and nothing else.
Was it really just three years ago that her days had been filled with sunshine, warmth and light? Three years, not that long at all by most standards, but a lifetime in comparison to what her life had been like ever since. She had spent the most blissful summer in the arms of the one she loved. Now she lived in constant winter.
Still, winter and snow weren't all bad. It had been snowing when Cosette was born. Her beautiful daughter loved playing in the white fluffy substance, she said it made her feel like she was walking on clouds. Winter also meant Christmas, and she always tried to make it a happy one for her little girl, but it never seemed to be enough. Cosette didn't mind though. She was only three years old, and she thought anything her mother gave her was the most beautiful thing ever created.
Now, it was snowing on the day she would say goodbye to her most precious treasure.
Snow, rain, bleakness, the ingredients that made up Fantine's existence.
Ever since Cosette's birth, even when she had discovered she was with child, her life had become both beautiful and bleak. This baby would be her hope for the future, even as it made her an outcast in society for bearing an illegitimate child. She had been forced to leave her home when no one would take her in nor allow her some form of decent employment. Cosette had been born in a convent and Fantine had worked for three years to provide for her shining star. But she couldn't take care of them both.
It had come to this.
They were in the village of Montfermeil, staying at the local inn. She personally didn't much care for the place, it was a bit run down, the locals were a rowdy lot, and she wasn't entirely sure about the innkeepers. They behaved civilly enough to her, but there was still something about them that was fishy, and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Still, she had no other choice. She hadn't been able to find a place for both her and Cosette to live while she supported them, and no one wanted an employee who also had the added responsibility of a child with her. There was nothing else for it.
She had to leave Cosette in someone else's care just until she could get on her feet financially.
The worst part was that no one wanted to take care of Cosette. Many families had their own children, while others felt that their sense of Christian charity didn't and shouldn't extend to raising a bastard. The Thenardier's, while not the most respectable of people, were the only ones who had been willing to take her in, and she had a feeling it was because she would be paying them to do so. She hoped that since their own daughter was about Cosette's age that she would be treated with the same unconditional love as Eponine, but she also knew not to hold her breath.
She had spent the previous evening in a room at the inn with Cosette, singing all her favorite lullabies. She finished the last song just as Cosette was drifting off to sleep, but no matter how much she tried, the young mother couldn't fall asleep herself. If she were honest with herself, she didn't really want to fall asleep. If she did, morning would just come that much more quickly, bringing with it the inevitable moment of saying goodbye.
She sighed and rose out of bed, going to the window and sitting on the ledge, gazing into the night sky. Watching the moon and stars was something Fantine had always enjoyed, even as a little girl. She had always preferred the night over the day; the night was more tranquil, more soothing, and certainly more mysterious. This fascination with the heavens had come from her favorite lullaby, one her mother had sung to her every night and one she often sang to Cosette, though Cosette didn't share the same interest. Her daughter had many favorite lullabies and she was afraid of the dark, a fear that had never affected Fantine in the slightest.
"Now let the day just slip away so the dark night may watch over you," she sang to herself. That was why she loved the night. Even though most people saw it as ominous and the home of dangerous people who would cause harm, she saw it as a protective force present to chase away the trials of life. Nighttime was the time to dream, to escape this world and enter another one, the darkness providing a cloak that shielded the dreams from stern reality. The sun was harsh and unrelenting; the moon was peaceful and consoling.
She turned back around to face the darkened room when she heard the sounds of her daughter stirring.
"Mommy?" asked Cosette, and Fantine was dismayed when she heard tears in the child's voice.
"I'm here, mon petit ange," Fantine said, moving to sit down at the end of the bed. "Are you all right?"
"Bad deem," Cosette mumbled, which Fantine knew to mean "dream;" at three years of age, Cosette was still just beginning to speak.
Fantine said nothing, but rather gathered her precious daughter into her arms and rocked her, humming softly to her until she was calm.
"There now, all better," she said at last. "No room for nightmares here."
"It too dark," Cosette whimpered, snuggling closer to her mother.
"The better to help you sleep," Fantine soothed.
"No sweep! Bad deems!" Cosette protested, clearly afraid of sleep at the moment.
"Then think of good things," Fantine encouraged gently. "Fill your head with all your happiest dreams and you will always sleep well."
"Pwomise?"
Fantine chuckled and kissed her daughter's forehead. "I promise. Now back to sleep, I'll sing to you."
Cosette smiled and cuddled more into her mother's side. Fantine embraced her child and said, "think of your happiest, most secret dreams. Let the night bring them forth." Then she began to sing. "Have no fear when the night draws near, and fills you with dreams and desires…"
Cosette's eyes had already slipped shut, but Fantine just kept singing. "Always be, always see, come and dream the night with me…"
"Do not you worry, my darling" Fantine whispered. "There is nothing to fear, certainly not while I'm here. Even when I'm gone, I'll be protecting you in spirit. Every night, just look out your window, pick out the brightest star in the sky, and pretend it's me watching over you."
Cosette made a noise of assent before falling back asleep, too tired to wonder why her mother was saying such a strange thing. "I love you, Mommy…" she managed to whisper before drifting off.
Fantine kissed her on top of the head. "Je t'aime aussi, ma belle fille."
The next morning, Fantine repeated the words to her daughter as she said goodbye and left her in the care of M. Thenardier. No matter how many times she promised that she would soon return, advising her daughter not to be afraid, and reminding her to be good, they both still cried and embraced each other tightly until Fantine reluctantly pulled herself away.
Every night for the next five years, Fantine would stare up at the sky, pick out the brightest star and sing one of her lullabies for her little girl. That star and Cosette were all that kept her going in her last days when she realized she had no other choice but to become a prostitute to support her daughter. The night was cruel to her now, bringing with it men who only wanted to use her, but she still wasn't afraid. Once they finished with her, she could go to her dream world where she was with Cosette and neither wanted for a thing.
No, Fantine was not afraid, not even now as she felt her moments slipping away and the eternal darkness creep ever closer. She would face her death as she faced everything else, with her head held high, despite the circumstances of her arriving at its door. Monsieur Madeleine, for whom she used to work in the factory, had promised to take care of Cosette and would fetch her from Montfermeil within the next few days. Fantine smiled, Cosette would be well and she could be at peace.
"Tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I wake," she murmured softly to her good Monsieur, before closing her eyes. As the blissful night swept over her, her last thought was, "do not be afraid of the night, Cosette. You will find me there waiting for you."
She sang the last line, one from her favorite lullaby, inside her head, and released her final breath.
So, how did I do? I really wanted to get into Fantine's psyche with this story, something you get a little bit of in the musical, but not as much as I'd like. I haven't read the novel yet, so I don't know how much of her psyche you get in that, but it's on my reading list so I'll figure it out. What you do get in the musical (especially in the 10th Anniversary from Ruthie Henshall's portrayal of her) is that she's unafraid and she faces everything with a sort of dignity, even becoming a prostitute and nearly getting arrested by Javert. She just seems above it all. That's why I love the 10th Anniversary, my favorite interpretations of just about all the characters. That's what I wanted to get across here, that she's unafraid, that she still has a certain grace about her no matter what, and she will get through it for Cosette.
I hope this turned out all right. Please review and tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!