Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XIII, all credit for characters, events and places go to Square Enix and their affiliates.
Summary: Yes, she didn't need to be perfect. That was Serah's job. If she could be herself and still raise Serah right, then that would be Lightning's greatest accomplishment. If Serah went on to fulfill her dreams, and Lightning's dream in turn, then she would be happy. And whatever it took to help Serah attain her dreams, Lightning would do without complaint. Lightning and Serah centric.
Author's Note: At the advice of a friend of mine, I'm going through all the old documents sitting on my computer. This piece was mostly unfinished, and although I don't know where it was supposed to flow originally, I am strangely proud of it, or at least how it began. This was just another of the daily writing exercises, I asked myself: "What drives Lightning? What was she like before?" Yet it turned out like this, somehow. It's easier not to ask.
Whatever It Takes
Lightning is a resolute, staid figure in the masses. From the pristine white uniform and the glowing pauldron on her shoulder, all the way to the sheath strapped across her thighs and razor-sharp weapon it contained. Lightning stands out, even as she leans casually back against the wall, one of her leather-booted feet crossed calmly across the other. Everything about her seems perfect, from her clothing to her perfectly asymmetric, strawberry hair. She is intimidating in her own right.
Lightning pays no mind to the way the crow churns and warps effortlessly around itself, people slipping and nudging past each other in a rush to fulfill their own needs, whatever brought them into the center of Bodhum on such a day. It bothers her very little that people would rather not penetrate the invisible bubble surrounding her—residents and tourists appear to go out of their way to avoid running into the Guardian Corps member.
Yes, it bothers Lightning very little. Then again, not much bothers Lightning these days.
Sure, she has her fair share of issues and annoyances in both her home and work life, but Lightning chooses not to let it get to her. She is stoic, callous and unflappable to the end, the perfect definition of soldier, right down to her emotionless scowl. As irritated as she may have been with Lieutenant Amodar for dumping another patrol shift on her, just on the verge of the Bodhum Fireworks Festival—the most celebrated event in Bodhum, one of the most popular festivals in Cocoon, and a large attraction for wide-eyed tourists—Lightning isn't nearly as bothered as she should be, all things considered.
She's been inexplicably mellow for days now, something that seems to have unsettled those who work with her. Even Lightning is unable to explain it for all she tried. As she'd passed through the hall that morning, an almost-smile curling contently at her lips, she'd heard the whispers trailing after her. "The calm before the storm" they were calling it; ironic, considering her chosen nickname. But she couldn't help but wonder if they were right.
Huffing in sheer boredom, she turns her eyes across the crowd. Apparently she isn't the only one in her regiment to have been saddled with patrol duty, it seems. Skimming across the various skin tones and hair colors, past the legendary Bodhum fountain and down a ways, she spots another soldier. Corporal Valentine; his ruby eyes are swirling with a mix of boredom and frustration, and he is in the midst of arguing with a rowdy looking teenager. Valentine looks more than a little ruffled. Nice to know she isn't the only one not enjoying her work.
Leaning against the solid wall of a small-time shop, Lightning's eyesight drifts back to the center of the crowd. She resolves herself to keeping her cerulean gaze locked on the rushing tides of people as her job entails, vigilant for any signs of mischief and wrongdoing.
Not for the first time, Lightning curses her luck. As things go, she would rather be home with her sister than pulling another double shift. Sure, Lightning may enjoy her work and feeling like she was helping to protect the community, and her sister, but this hardly qualified as an assignment for someone of her caliber. Though thinking of her sister, Serah had been acting rather strange lately, avoiding her big sister.
Serah. Her little sister was a topic Lightning didn't like to ponder on often, because inevitably guilt and sadness would always follow on that train. Truthfully, she didn't get anywhere near enough time to herself, and anywhere near enough time to spend with her sister. Serah would take it all in silence, in stride, like she always did, though; instead of showing her disappointment, her pain, Serah would smile at her.
"Maybe next time," Serah would say.
Though both sisters know it isn't true.
Lightning let out a deep, unrestrained sigh. As predicted, a small jolt of guilt shot through her. Knowing that her vacation-time would be put to good use, though, was a cold comfort. Truths be truths, Lightning probably could have made more of an effort, she just couldn't bring herself to.
She has been looking out for Serah, providing for her, since she was fifteen. On the eve of her sixteenth birthday, their mother had passed away from an unnamable illness, leaving both of them alone. With no plans set out in stone, the two sisters had been lost. It had only been Lightning's need to press forward that kept them grounded; but in her desire to move forward, Lightning had never really dealt with the loss itself. Even to that day, her parents' passing still hurts.
To provide for the both of them, Lightning had sold her soul to the military. For the next ten years of her life, she got stability, money, long hours and a home to come back to each evening. But Serah had always held that against her, Lightning knew that, despite how much she tried to tell herself she didn't. Serah had always resented the fact that Lightning had never been able to find something easier, for the both of them. She wanted a sister to come back to her each night, not a mother; she wanted someone she could talk to, to simply share her problems with.
Lightning couldn't deny she wanted that and so much more for herself, yearned for it, sometimes. But she had never been good at giving people what they wanted, and that had not changed. She had been fifteen, a high school dropout; no one would even consider hiring her. Money was running low, food was all but gone. And the military had been there, Amodar had been there, when they needed it most.
She hadn't been perfect at the start; she'd been smaller than everyone else, thinner, younger. Lightning had worked hard, agonizing hours to get where she was. But even she wasn't perfect. There were times when she considered giving up, days she wanted nothing more than to just pack up and go home. But she couldn't bring herself to. Each day, as she stepped back through the door to those startlingly blue eyes, she resolved herself to return, if only for her sister. It took years and many backbreaking trials to make Sergeant, but she'd done it in the end, for her sister.
Serah was her most trusted and cared for friend, her sister, and in an odd sort of way, like a daughter to her. Lightning could find no greater motivation than her sister. It was with a certain measure of despair that Lightning recalled her sister would be leaving for Eden, to finish her schooling, in just a few short weeks. What would her life be without her main source of motivation? Lightning wondered.
Shaking her head, Lightning inwardly chastised herself. It was no time to be thinking such thoughts, for now, all that mattered was finishing her shift and going home. Not even Serah's odd behavior or the strange messages on their answer machine mattered anymore. All that mattered was spending those last few weeks with her sister, who was more perfect, more intelligent than Lightning could have ever imagined. She smiled softly.
Yes, she didn't need to be perfect. That was Serah's job. If she could be herself and still raise Serah right, then that would be Lightning's greatest accomplishment. If Serah went on to fulfill her dreams, and Lightning's dream in turn, then she would be happy. And whatever it took to help Serah attain her dreams, Lightning would do without complaint.
Serah was all that mattered to her these days.