Before we begin...
Story type: post Sorceress War, Lovers Drama
Genre: Romance
Pairings: Irvine x Quistis, Squall x Selphie
- About my stories:
Maybe it's best to say that I never create a perfect character. Everybody has flaws, and if a character has to suffer to make a believable flow, I am sure to make them suffer. Nobody escapes what needs to be done.
If you want a character that never suffers, perfect in attitude and appearance, never sweats, never have their clothes torn from fights or have his/her hair ruined or even a scrape after blowing up the world, my story isn't for you. To blow up a garbage bin, the characters in my story WILL suffer.
If there's any problem with wording and error in my old fics, please mention it, because I do revise everything every now and then. If some stories seem awkward on the first few chapters, please note the publish date, because it was most likely they were old. Later chapters of the same fics won't have this issue. Please tell me by PM or review, and I'll be sure to clean them up.
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. Simple as that.
ETA 05/05/2008: Thank you for my beta-reader Against Everything.
ETA 16 August 2012: Read it again and I saw plenty of errors, so I fixed it up a bit.
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WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
By Cerespallas
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Happiness is….
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Am I happy?
It was the first time Quistis Trepe, the number one instructor at Balamb Garden, had ever thought about it.
She sat on her bed, keeping her pose perfect even though no one else was nearby. Her eyes scanned the horizon of Balamb sky; the sun was about to set. Today was over for her; she'd finished planning tomorrow's class, and it was time to go to bed.
Three months after Ultimecia, she'd thought life would have gotten better.
It did, in a way. She'd gotten her license back, everyone admired her, and the world was at peace once more.
The government had dropped all charges against Seifer. It was a criminal war and he was a war peon, nothing more. Edea was confined to her own orphanage and placed under house arrest for the next twelve years—the best for her and everyone else. No one had really believed that Ultimecia had wholly controlled her; she'd been the front-line sorceress, after all. Squall often visited her.
But Seifer never came back... And neither did Cid. He'd decided to live with Edea, accompanying her through her sentences. Squall was in charge of everything now. He'd grown very busy, and it had started to distance him from Rinoa.
Maybe that was why the girl had returned to Timber only two weeks after the party.
One month after the Second Sorceress War, Squall had sent ten top SeeD to take care of the Timber liberation. Everything had gone well; Timber had finally won their rights.
Rinoa had become the main Timber senator in the Galbadian government, under the presidency of the former General Caraway. She'd never come back.
Then, out of the blue Selphie and Irvine had called it off. She had become Squall's assistant and, unsurprisingly, his girlfriend two weeks later. Everyone knew Squall had always had a soft spot for the cheerful brunette.
Irvine hadn't seemed really upset about it, but he had started to back out of their outings more and more, until it finally got to the point that he never met the gang at all.
Oh, he was still around, he just… didn't want to see Selphie and Squall that much. Quistis often had lunch with him, considering she was also the odd one out now. She also limited her outings with 'the gang' to once a week, and even then it was only fair for old times' sake.
No one really wondered how it ended up this way. Life just went on.
Still, Quistis was not satisfied.
What is happiness? Why do people crave it so much?
Have I ever experienced it?
Quistis turned her eyes to the door as someone knocked on it three times. She stood up, walked to the door, and opened it slightly.
Irvine stood there, his hat covering his eyes, and smiled slightly. "Hey."
"Irvine." Quistis pulled the door all the way open. "Come in. What's wrong?"
Irvine walked inside her dorm, and Quistis noticed something different. He still wore his duster and chaps, but he also had his brown leather backpack, the one he'd always worn on their adventure, strapped to his back.
"Irvine…?" Quistis stared at the man, who was now gazing at the same horizon she'd watched only minutes before.
"…I'm leavin'," said the redhead, not looking at her. "Got nothin' else here."
"What?" Quistis hurriedly closed the door. "Wait, wait." She locked the door. "Let's talk about this. Why do you want to leave?"
Irvine frowned, still not looking at her. "Why would I wanna stay?"
That surprised her. She'd always thought Irvine loved company and was the one who cared the most about the 'gang'. She started to stammer, "…but all your friends… are here… just because you and- I'm sorry, Selphie, didn't work it out, it doesn't mean…"
Now Irvine turned to her. His eyes were serious. She'd never seen them like this, not even once. "Quis, I'm gonna ask you one thing. Answer me honestly."
"Uh… sure?"
"Friends or happiness?"
Quistis's eyes widened. "…H-happiness?" It sounded like he was taking words straight out of her mind!
"I thought that too," replied the long-haired man. "I'm glad all my friends here. But I'm not happy, so I gotta search for my...happiness."
"Oh-My-Hyne." Quistis stared at him.
"What?"
"Uh-nothing." How can you put it that simply? I thought about it all the time and all I got was this mood cycle! Maybe that was why she hadn't been happy; she only thought. She never acted.
"I'm sayin' goodbye to you," he continued, smiling sadly. "I'm leavin' now."
"Wait, Irvine!" Quistis stood in front of the door, holding her ground. "…You only said goodbye to me?"
"Others won' understand… they are happy."
"A-a-are you implying I'm not?"
"Are you?"
Quistis blinked in shock. He knows…
"I don' think bein' with happy people gives you happiness, Quis. It's good for a while, but then you get left alone."
Hyne, there is someone who knows how I feel… "Irvine, will you...come back?"
"…If I can bring my happiness here, yeah. If not, I'd rather be wher'ver I will be."
"What about your friends then?" That was the only thing holding Quistis back now.
"That brings us back to my secon' question."
Yeah, Quistis. Which one? Friends or happiness?
"Are you gonna move or do I havta jump outta window?" Irvine crossed his arms, "Among all of 'em, I don' think you're gonna be the one to stop me."
This is crazy, Quistis Trepe…this is crazy! You have a good career! Your boss is your best friend! Your friends are your family!
"Bye, Quisty!" Irvine actually opened up the balcony door and walked to the railing, ready to jump off. Quistis ran to him and pulled his backpack off his back to stop him. Startled, Irvine let go of his bag and turned around in confusion, watching the woman as she held the bag close to her chest.
"I'm going with you!" exclaimed Quistis, her eyes boring straight through him. "I want to find happiness as well!"
-x-
-x-
"Squall! Squall! Open the door!"
Squall cursed in a low tone, even as Selphie giggled beneath him. They had been watching 'The Chocobo King' while hugging each other. After a while it had become more than an embrace. Maybe they would have repeated the cycle of the Chocobo marriage they'd just seen, had Zell not started pounding on the door.
"Squaaaaall! I know you're not sleeping! Selphie! Open up!"
Selphie couldn't hold her laughter back anymore. Her boyfriend glared at her while reaching for his pants and threw her the yellow jumper. Selphie held her clothes and ran to their bedroom, still laughing hard.
Squall yanked the door open. "This better be important, or I swear to Hyne I'll…"
"Squall!" Zell forced his way in and pushed a note to his chest. "I found this on Irvine's bed!"
Squall held the note in reading range and then frowned while he read the note. "It's…"
"Yeah! I can't believe it!" Zell shook his head. "Can you?"
"… That he wrote in Chocobo footprints?" Squall threw the notes to Zell's forehead. "You know I can't read his writing! Only someone who writes like him can ever even come close!" He crossed his arms and tilted his head while Zell frowned at the note. "What did he write anyway?"
"He's leaving! And when I went to tell Quistis, she was gone as well! She left this!" Zell pulled out another letter, this one written in neatly enough for Squall to read.
"…What?" Selphie ran out of the bedroom, her clothes neatly pulled on. "Where did they go?" She tilted her head and studied Quistis' letter. "…Did she always write that small and packed?"
"That's Quistis's Instructor Mode," explained Zell. "It's a resignation letter. I think she left with Irvine."
Selphie shook her head. "I don't think that's the case… If Irvy wanted to go, he would go alone… Quisty too… they aren't close enough to go together. And… where would they go, anyway? The Galbadia and Trabia Gardens are both ruined."
"…Maybe they weren't leaving as SeeDs," Squall closed the letter and folded it neatly before putting it on the drawer nearby. "It's Quistis and Irvine we're talking about. If they really left together, they're more than capable of doing anything, no matter how unexpected."
"Ooooh!" Selphie bounced up and down in Hyper Mode. "Like, bombing this Garden! And Deling! And Esthar! And become the world's dictator!"
"He said unexpected, Selphie, not crazy," said Zell. Her boyfriend had learned to ignore her when it wasn't absolutely necessary for him to care. "Then again… this is Quistis and Irvine… it could happen…"
Squall rubbed his head. "Do we have an important mission, Selphie?"
Selphie turned towards Zell. "Do we, Zell?"
"Hey, he's asking you!"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"You're his assistant!"
"Oh. Right." Selphie put her index finger on her temple and thought hard. After five minutes, she shook her head. "…Um… we don't!"
Zell scowled. "…It took you that long?"
While his girlfriend stuck out her tongue at Zell, Squall went into Commander Mode. "Wake Nida up, tell him we're leaving to trace Quistis and Irvine right away. Balamb Garden is mobile again."
Well, I'm bored, too... He thought as his two peons scrambled to follow his orders. Whatever they're doing now, it must be more exciting than paperwork…
-x-
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"So…I assume your idea of leaving without trace is booking a train to Timber?" Quistis sighed, shaking her head as Irvine handed her the midnight ticket. "Oh well, we can disappear later from there… why don't we go to Deling instead? It's easier to blend in when you're in a big city."
"I said leavin' without trace, not runnin' from the kids." Irvine held out his hand, waiting while Quistis handed him her orange backpack. "We're not wanted criminals, why should we disappear?"
"…Because!" Quistis handed him her bag before she boarded the train. "You should know Zell and Selphie will run after us!"
"Well I say, let them! We'll jus' stay one step ahead; they're two kiddies, very easy to get distracted over anything that moves."
"That's a cat, not a kid." Quistis sat down on one of the seats, Irvine sat next to her. "So, why Timber?"
"Sightseeing."
"Sight-" Quistis looked at Irvine in disbelief. "WHAT?"
"You don' think we'll get to the happiness straight away, do ya? I don' even have a clue what happiness is!" Irvine yawned, pulling the hat down to cover his violet eyes even more. "So we'll go wher'ver the trail can take us… or wher'ver our money can."
Quistis massaged her temples. "This is crazy… why did I do this?"
"Cause you wanna be happy?"
"No-I think this is impulsive. This is your road, not mine. Whatever I'm doing here?"
"Don' know, but I'm glad you're here," Irvine said. "Wake me when the train gets there, 'Kay?"
"You did not just assume that I'm going to stay awake for the next five hours, did you?"
"I did. Thanks, Quis."
Quistis rolled her eyes as Irvine began to drift away. Her seat was next to the window, so she turned her eyes to the view outside. As the train moved inside the underwater tunnel connecting the continents of Balamb and Galbadia, it grew very dark.
If I stay at Balamb Garden, I score nothing. I've already got everything I ever wanted there. I was the best instructor, next in line to be the Head Instructor, right after Instructor Aki retires. It's just... Not making me satisfied.
Am I that greedy?
She had long ago forgotten about her silly crush on Squall. Even when Rinoa and Squall had broken up, she hadn't wished for him anymore. Still, it was pretty sad to see him once again choosing a talkative, easy-to-love girl over her quiet, clammed-up self. It wasn't love; it was just jealousy over Selphie so easily getting what she had once wanted so badly.
She'd never known what made Irvine and Selphie split up. Irvine was not bitter about it, but he admittedly refused to be with the new couple. Quistis could understand his dilemma; he was glad for two best friends, but jealous over his own loneliness.
Maybe, if she stayed, things would get better. Maybe there was someone…
"Quis." The voice startled her. "Hey, wake up, pretty. We're here."
Quistis opened her tired eyes and felt Irvine pull her up from their seat. When had she fallen asleep? She shook her head, sweeping away the blur that always came after not getting enough sleep. Irvine took their bags and waited for her outside the train.
As she began to climb out, Irvine reached up, unconsciously holding her hands so she could easily jump down from the train to the station.
"Thank you," usually Quistis didn't appreciate being handled like a fragile vase, but this was Irvine. That kind of thing was ingrained in him, so she'd learned to deal with it. "So… where to now? What do you want to see?"
Irvine smiled broadly, "to the Timber Owls."
Quistis frowned. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I did not hear you clearly. Care to rephrase?"
"You heard me clear enough, Quis. The Timber Owls. I phoned Rinoa yesterday, and she said she'd be fine with us stayin' there until we know where to go next."
"Uh-okay… I believe we have to split up here. I'll just get back on the train and…"
Irvine shook his head, quickly grabbing the fleeing woman's arm and dragging her out of the station. "She's not that childish, to be doin' somethin' to her ex's frien's. If you wanna disappear, the best place is here. They know how to cover people's tracks."
"Don't you think it's going to be weird? Like we're taking on a big debt that we won't be able to pay later…?"
"It's not a debt. We're leavin' Squall, Quis! Rinoa will be glad to help us!"
Quistis stared at Irvine for a moment. This man is more than what I think he is.
"Oh…" She shrugged. "Alright. Just…"
"I get it, pretty. If things start to feel weird, we're leavin', 'kay?"
So, I guess the path to happiness is…
1. Talking with your ex-crush's ex-girlfriend…
Hyne, this is going to be WEIRD. She knows how I felt…
Okay, I'll let Irvine do the talking.
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"Hey! I'm so glad you're here!"
Quistis smiled slightly as Rinoa stood from her seat behind the table and elegantly walked toward them. She hugged Irvine and Quistis, ignoring the latter's hesitancy.
The Timber Owls now resided in one of the biggest, best houses in Timber, one house away from the Timber Maniacs' office. Rinoa no longer wore her blue sleeveless duster and short black pants. As a senator, she wore a light blue skirt with a pretty frilly blue hem, and her hair was held up in a bun. Her blue suit-jacket lay in her chair, her office desk was full of neatly arranged papers. And she still wore Squall's ring, Griever, on her necklace.
Hyne… this office is all blue… blue sofa, blue curtains, blue-framed window… blue table, blue wallpaper, blue chair… Rinoa needs some colour arrangement fast…
"It's been ten weeks since I last saw you two," started Rinoa, her hands waving to the blue sofa. "Come, let's sit. The guards below didn't give you any trouble, did they?"
"Nah." Irvine let Quistis sit first. "They know who we are. They even asked for our autographs. Nice bein' famous."
She chuckled. "Yes, it is. It's the main reason they chose me. Not because I really liberated Timber…" Rinoa tilted her head, for a while reminding Quistis of the girl she had fought beside. "…Is Squall alright?"
"…Whoa, aren' you bein' forward now!" Irvine straightened his hat. "He's cool. Now he's with Selphie."
"Hmmm…" She pouted. "…Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway."
Okay, that was not what Quistis had expected to hear. "…Sorry?"
"I mean, he's more likely to choose his old gang rather than me," Rinoa clasped her hands behind her back. "Sooo… Irvine, would you mind retreating to your room now? It's on the third floor. I need some heart-to-heart time with Quistis."
Wait! HEART-TO-HEART? I'm hoping that's her heart to Angelo's, because… oh, no…!
"Sure!" Irvine stood, bowed to the ladies and winked at Quistis before he left. If she'd been sure it wouldn't insult Rinoa, she would've been slapping her forehead just about now.
I didn't sign up for this!
"Quistis." Rinoa sat next to her. "Do you still dislike me?"
"…Uh…"
"I'm waiting. Ten weeks can get everyone to their point fast, especially me."
Quistis leaned back. "I… do not dislike you."
"I know you liked Squall. I used to be with him, so it makes sense that you'd dislike me."
"But I didn't!" Quistis bit her lip. "In the middle of our adventure, I began to forget my crush... My silly, stupid crush. When I talked or treated you a bit differently from the others, it was because you weren't a SeeD. You weren't on our mission. I just…"
"Felt like I wasn't supposed to be there?" Rinoa smiled when Quistis stared at her in shock. "You do realize that I felt that too, right?"
"You did?"
"Hyne, you really didn't listen to my speech on Trabia's basketball field, did you?" Rinoa leaned back. "I never felt like a part of your team. I had different dreams, different goals… yet I still forced myself to be with you guys… because I liked Squall. I think maybe, if I'd stayed longer and tried harder, he'd be with me now."
"But he was."
"He was. And then I realized I couldn't stay there for the rest of my life." Rinoa nodded to herself. "At the time, it was the hardest choice to make. Was I to be with my Knight forever and keep waiting until he got back from his work, waiting until he had a bit of time and enough energy to care about me?" She shook her head. "I wasn't a SeeD, as you said. At seventeen, it was way too late to apply for one. I have been just a client... And his girlfriend. Plus, even if I'd been admitted to the Garden, how many years would it be before I'd reach your level? It wouldn't be very agreeable for a cadet and the commander of Garden to have a relationship."
"So you left?"
"Just like that? No." She chuckled. "I didn't think about leaving at first, never even crossed my mind! I'd worked way too hard just to let it go. We talked about it a lot. No one else actually disagreed about us; a benefit of being world heroes, I guess. But whenever we'd talk, I'd notice Squall forcing himself just to hear me. He'd be tired, too tired to even smile to me when he got back from work. The conversations I was hoping for would always turn into monologues soon. He would just nod, not even caring about what I'd say."
Rinoa sighed, her hands twirling around Griever. "I decided that me being there wasn't good for either of us. He didn't need me to be there anymore. I still had my dream, and being there… started to hurt. When he was tired and sleepy, the slow conversations turned into angry fights. I used to fight with my dad; I loved Squall too much to go through that with him. When I left, I just packed my things and told him that it was over. He nodded, never tried to stop me. I think he was really glad that I decided to make the first move. I didn't know anything about his job, and he didn't understand my dream. What he needed was someone nearby who was ready for him anytime and understood completely about his work. As for me, I needed to be here... for myself."
Quistis stared at the floor after Rinoa finished. "…That's not what I originally thought about the break-up."
Rinoa grinned. "Yeah, we decided not to explain. No one else would understand, anyway. The past is the past. He's not even my knight any more... But he still left Griever for me as a parting gift."
Quistis frowned. "You don't have a knight now? Isn't that dangerous?"
Rinoa held up her hands and showed Quistis what was beneath her sleeves.
"Oh…" Quistis stared at her arms. "Hyne… you're wearing three Odine Bangles… Isn't that painful?"
"Don't tell anyone about it." The senate stuck out her tongue. "I still want everyone to think I'm a strong sorceress; it helps a lot in politics! At first it hurt, but now… I'm used to it. Now I'm just a normal human, nothing more." She glanced at her watch. "Oh! I've got a meeting in ten minutes! I'm sorry, Quistis, but…"
"It's okay, I understand." Quistis stood up and smiled at her. "…I'm actually glad… about this…"
Rinoa nodded in understanding. "People aren't always what they seem to be. I've learned a lot about that in the past few months. Have fun in there! And if Squall comes…" She smiled slyly. "…I'm still kind of angry about him not escorting me to the train when we broke up."
Quistis smiled, a real one. Somehow she'd begun to feel lighter after hearing Rinoa's story.
And now, she understood why it was Selphie he'd chosen.
Maybe I should just let Irvine choose our next destination. His ideas have seemed pretty good so far.
She left Rinoa in her office and went to her room.
2. Having a deep heart-to-heart with your ex-crush's ex-girlfriend is actually helping...
When Quistis opened her door, she stopped her foot from moving inside. "…What are you doing here?"
"Nggh?" Irvine said sleepily from her bed. "Oh, hi, Quis…"
"…What-are-you-doing-here?"
Irvine sat up. "This is my room too… I told Rinoa I was comin' alone, didn' have time to tell her I was comin' with you. Come in, come in. Here, there's still a space. Tired…" Irvine patted a space on the bed next to him before once again putting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes.
Quistis's stare bored into the ceiling.
I have to tell Rinoa about this….
She walked outside the room and started heading downstairs to Rinoa's office on the second floor.
If I hurry I can make it before her meeting. I really want to sleep…
As she walked down, she heard a voice downstairs. A familiar one.
Oh… no…!
Quistis turned around, fleeing back to their room. She barged in and locked the door, her eyes wide.
She turned to Irvine. "Irvine! Wake up! Now!"
"Whaaat…" Irvine rubbed his eyes. "I only slep' for an hour on the train, Quis…"
"Irvine! Squall is here!"
TBC
Happiness is…
When you learn to listen and accept things around you…
-x-
A/N: Kinda different from my other story, huh? Okay, let's start…
-Irvine has an accent here. Why? Well, I like it… he's more unique that way. (Maybe I'll put the accent in that story too… hmm…)
-Just for the sake of laugh, I deduced a bit of Selphie's brain… (Sorry!) Believe it or not, she's way more intelligent in Three Minutes Too Fast. (I can't have my main character stupid…) She's still Selphie, anyway.
-Rinoa was sixteen on the game. But the senate is serious business, so I made her seventeen a few weeks after they defeated Ultimecia. Let's just say they trust seventeen more than sixteen… (If Squall can be a Commander, why can't she be a senate? Why?)
-This story is short. I planned it to be three-shots, and light-heartening (duh… after all the talk about angst on the first A/N... Stupid!)
-Why was it that… Irvine was the one accompany her on the journey? Well, you seriously think Zell could have that kind of feelings and want to accompany his former instructor somewhere he didn't even know… write about it! I wanna read it! Squall can't leave (obviously, plus I won't write him being that irresponsible) It's gonna be long story just to make Seifer came back before he went again, and if he did, he won't take a girl with him, unless he just got brainwashed (oh! That's another story, hehee…) Irvine is gentle and patient. Really, he is! If I were to go on a journey, he will be the one I chose! Zell might obey Quistis, but he won't be on the same level. Why is it Zell again…?
-Rinoa talked waaaaaaaaay too much (aaaagh) she took almost five hundred words on her own! Okay, don't count… I delete most of it…
- This fiction only has half the length of 3mintoofast. That one is usually around 7000-8000/chapter, because it's a long story. I'm still thinking about putting action event in this or not, but if I do it will be longer than three-shots…
No, no next chapter: (spoiler) as usual. It's a short one, why do you need it?