A/N: Today was my friend Lourdes's birthday (the one who I made the Friends folder with, for anyone who ACTUALLY READS A/N's) and I FORGOT! She got me the most awesome present for my birthday and I FORGOT hers! Actually, I didn't forget, I thought it was FRIDAY! I went around telling everyone, "Yeah, Lourdes's birthday is May 16th, May 16th, this Friday, don't forget" and then it's May 13th!!! Everyone's like, "Jenni said it was May 16th." Somebody whack me with a newspaper, please?

Moving on from my pointless, idiotic story that I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone else... okay, this title was used in an episode of Friends, and I was watching that episode and I listened to the line, "some tutti fruity love story where he played a blind guy!" and pop, inspiration. (that was an example of onomatopoeia, by the way... now try spelling that ten times fast ;)) So anyway - read and review, please!

Oh, some quick background info - Monica and Rachel are roommates and Rachel is dating Ross, who lives in Ugly Naked Guy's apartment. Chandler and Joey are roommates and they know Phoebe.

Disclaimer: Becger87: I'm eating faster than a monkey with... wonder flying sperm!

Becger87: mmm bexy matty

I own that stuff. But not this stuff. Love you, Bec! *whispers* BTW, Bec updated tonight too - we're update buddies! That's what they'll call us! haha... so go read "Tainted Dreams"!!!

CHAPTER ONE

Monica Geller slammed the door to her apartment, happy to have the loud noise distract her from her own thoughts.

Well, you've lost another one, Monica, she thought bitterly. Not even noon on a Saturday morning and you've been dumped. What was it this time? Oh, right - 'I'm just not ready for the kind of commitment you want. I didn't realize you wanted to be serious about a relationship.' Didn't realize? I'm 29 years old, for Chrissakes! Did he think I just wanted to mess around for a couple of months?

She threw her purse down on the table and collapsed onto the couch, trying not to cry. It wasn't this particular guy that she'd wanted so badly - she hadn't been in love with Chris, or anything. But they'd gone out for over two months, and she'd really thought he liked her. But now, the good old' "Not ready for a commitment" line, and he just walked out of the coffeehouse and out of her life. And she had to start all over.

Monica wanted nothing more than to fall in love. She knew she was a hopeless, pathetic romantic - her roommate Rachel told her so at least twice a day - but she couldn't help it. She wanted to fall in love with a man who would love her back, who would protect her from the world, who would hold her and kiss her until the day she died. She wanted a big wedding, and she wanted babies.

But Monica had all but given up hope. In the 11 years since she'd moved out of her parent's house, she hadn't had a relationship that had survived to see it's first anniversary. She'd heard every line in the book. "It's not you, it's me," and, "I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment," were the most popular among men she'd dated.

Now she was 29 years old, washed-out and forlorn, and, once again, single. She sighed heavily, put on a pair of ten-year-old sweats and a tee shirt, slipped an old movie in the VCR, and pulled a fresh pint of Ben & Jerry's out of the freezer. Monica wasn't usually a drama queen like Rachel, but she was feeling so bad that day that she felt the need to indulge.

Rachel came home and found her friend close to tears over "Sleepless In Seattle."

"Mon?" Rachel called, hanging up her jacket. "What's the matter? You know Tom will find Meg at the end, right?"

"Chris broke up with me," Monica replied dully.

Rachel clucked her tongue sympathetically and raced over to the couch. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey," she said, hugging Monica, who finally let the tears fall in the comfort of her best friend's arms.

"Am I hopeless, Rach? Will I never find the right guy?" she sobbed.

"Of course you will. Your Mr. Right's out there somewhere!"

"Easy for you to say, yours lives across the alley," Monica said, gesticulating to the window. It was true - Rachel's boyfriend, and, coincidentally, Monica's brother, lived across the street. "I'm just worried that I already met him at the drycleaners or something, but I was so busy checking my underwear for dots of wink and being Monica that I scared him away!''

"Listen, you just have to not freak out so much! Any guy would be so lucky to have you, Mon, you just have to take it slow. And you can't be busy being Monica because Monica is a great person!" She grabbed a tissue and handed it to Monica. "You shouldn't just sit around and mope, hon. Why don't you borrow my bike and go riding in the park? That always clears my head."

"You just want to be alone with Ross," Monica grumbled, slamming into the bathroom. Five minutes later, she was unlocking Rachel's old bicycle from it's port in the garage and rolling it out onto the sidewalk.

As she rode through the pathways of Central Park, she smiled to herself. Maybe Rachel was right, she thought. This really does clear my head. With her hair coming loose in her ponytail and sharp autumn wind blowing in her face, Monica felt all the stress about boyfriends leave her. Her legs pedaled faster and faster, like she was smashing the apprehension right out of her body. The grips on the handlebars were rubbery and uneven, making them distracting and easy to squeeze, like a stress ball.

The park was moving by in a blur - trees and water and people all one big smear of color and shapes and noise. She could hear children screeching and giggling as they played tag on the grass. She caught glimpses of lovers walking hand in hand, sitting under trees and kissing. She could smell the wonderful, doughy smell from a nearby hot dog vendor wafting through the stink of smog that clouded the city. She could hear dogs barking...

But one dog was barking too close.

Monica pulled her head out of the clouds to see a border collie careening across the path directly in front of her. She was going too fast, and she wasn't an expert on the bike.

With a slight scream, Monica twisted the handlebars in an effort to avoid the dog. She lost control of the front tire and it spun around. The handlebars were wrenched from her grasp and she catapulted over them, her arms flailing as she struggled to regain control of the bike she was flying over. She had the strangest sensation that she was going to hit something that wasn't the ground.

And then everything went black.

A/N: I promise this will get better, and the other characters WILL arrive shortly! This first chapter is really kinda short because, yeah, that's how the chapters turned out, but I will try to have chapter two up VERY VERY SOON. Hopefully you like it, and so hopefully I can get some reviews! If I don't get any reviews, Chandler's evil twin Chuck will kill everyone! And nobody wants that, now do they? Well, nobody except Chuck. And Boris. But Boris is just a rotten, bitter person. I mean, who wouldn't be - she's a girl whose name is Boris.

*Yen*