Disclaimer: Holes belongs to Louis Sachar. The song "Take Me Away" belongs to Kids Eat Free, who you probably don't know because they're a local band and I don't think they've done any shows in like, 5 years. Whatever.
I'm so beat up on the inside, so ripped to pieces,
But I feel so good today
Mr. Pendanski slammed his foot down hard on the gas pedal of the water truck, zooming away from the 6 remaining boys digging furiously under the hot sun and watchful eyes of the Warden. X-ray sat grinning in the shotgun seat, flipping two brass coins in his hand. They rose into the air, glinting as they caught the sun, and fell back into his hand with a delicious 'plop.' He was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, but Stanley had pulled through, so he was happy.
Got nothing but bad things on my mind,
And I don't wanna get away
However, there was something nagging at the corner of his mind as he reveled in his good fortune. Something...
Of course. The water line. He wouldn't be there to keep it in order.
It was trivial, he knew that. X-ray was unsure of why he needed to be in charge of it, but for some reason, it bothered him. Call him obsessive or power tripping, it still mattered to him. It was important.
Anyone would give their life to be in my position,
I'm so insecure bout all of my decisions
X-ray also knew that any of the guys back there digging would kill to have the day off. To be in charge, to lead. To get the new kid's bread for the day, to be able to finagle juice out of the boys in B-tent, to bend the rules in D-tent's favor. They'd like to have everyone respect them, need them...the way the kids back home had "needed" him.
But it wasn't that easy, he thought. It's not that easy.
Should I go left or right? I don't think that I'll be right,
So I'll turn out the lights and I'll wait right here
Being the leader, the one responsible...he was faced with difficult decisions every day. It would be his fault, then, if something went wrong. That was how it worked at home, with his "drugs." No one wanted to take the trouble to get them, but were more than willing to blame him if they got caught. Even simple situations- in class, with his friends- they loved to have someone else to tell them what to do.
Because it took the weight off their shoulders.
And put it on his instead.
I'll be waiting for so long, waiting for someone, someone to take me away,
Away
The water truck stopped at the camp compound. X-ray jumped out and started walking to his tent. There was something relaxing about an empty tent. It didn't happen that often, so X-ray took advantage of it while he could. They'd be out there for a while anyway.
But it was also the empty camp that on some level frightened X-ray. He was alone. He made it a point to be surrounded by people as much as he could. You can learn from people, whether or not you lead. He'd rather follow one person forever than be alone forever.
I'm so beat up on the inside, so ripped to pieces,
But I feel so good today
There was always more to learn, he thought as he collapsed on his cot.
He was looking for someone to teach him. Someone to lead him and teach him all they knew. They would be a true leader.
The way X-ray saw it, you were a follower, or a leader. The leaders were the ones who accomplished things, changed people and the world. They were the sparks that start the fire. It was the followers who were the tinder. They might burn out after a while, but the lighters would burn forever.
Maybe that was what he wanted.
Immortality.
Things are changing;
I thought they'd always stay the same
All changed with Camp Green Lake. This road bump, this pothole in his life. When he had found out that he'd be going to penitentiary camp, he knew he was in for a long ride. He'd heard the stories, he'd seen the scars from boys who went to jail. Again- camp might be a better place to pick up some tips. To learn.
Stronger, but too weak
It's obviously too strong for me
It won't let me breathe and it won't let me be
But this place- this horrible, labor camp. At first, it was awful. Miserable. The boys in his tent were loud, stupid, and thick. They cared about one thing- putting others down to build themselves up. These boys served their time, and were released one by one. And they were replaced by boys who, while they weren't quite the same as his original ideas, they at least understood what was at stake. They were quick. They were crafty. They knew that they were in a battle of sorts, against the adults here and the system that landed them here.
But he hadn't found anyone to lead him. Not yet. They all followed him, often without question, once they learned the rules.
What had he learned, he thought bitterly, what was the point of spending six months with these juvenile delinquents?
He thought for a moment.
Maybe the time wasn't completely wasted.
He had taught them that they weren't the toughest one around. That you didn't have to be the biggest or the strongest to make it. He helped them make it through these times. That instead of fighting all the time, maybe it was better to adjust. Adapt. Survival came first.
So easy to say,
So I'll turn out the lights and I'll wait right here
He had spread some of his knowledge. And he had learned through experience, as small a fact as it may be.
The fittest really do survive.
When they take the time to learn...and if you take the time to teach.
I'll be waiting for so long, waiting for someone,
Someone to take me away
X-ray looked up as Zero stepped into the tent. Zero blinked, and moved to his cot, saying nothing.
X-ray grinned. One of his best pupils.
He stood up and stretched, and went to take that double shower.
Away