Contest entry for the 'A Journey into Dark and Twisted' Competition
Title: The Storm
Prompts used: Group A #2, Group D #7, Group H #3
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: M
Word Count: 12,514
Summary: My husband told me the storm wasn't coming. He said we would be fine. That was back when I believed him, when I thought I knew him, and when things were still perfect. But he was wrong, the storm was coming. And we wouldn't be fine. Far from it.
Disclaimer: The author does not own the rights to Twilight or the characters. The author owns the plot and that is all. No copyright infringement is intended.
The sun was shining brightly the day we moved to Maple Lane. I remember it well. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, yet the weather forecast was heavy rain. I freaked out when I heard that, and my husband just laughed, kissed my head, and told me the storm wasn't coming. We would be fine. That was back when I believed him, when I thought I knew him, and when things were perfect still. How wrong he was, because the storm was coming. It latched onto our heels and dragged us around with it. And we wouldn't be fine. Far from it.
I looked around my new kitchen and tried to hold it together. The black granite counter tops were covered with boxes, the scribbled print of my husband's handwriting on the side saying "Kitchen" in big bold letters, and my stainless steel pans were scattered all over. The curtains I'd ordered weren't in yet, so the sun was shining directly in my eyes. Everything was a mess, and I was getting so frustrated.
"Ahhh!" I yelled. My voice seemed to echo in the empty house.
I had been trying to unpack for hours, and it felt like I hadn't even made a dent in our things. All this unpacking was making me feel dizzy. I needed to focus on something other than these damn boxes. It felt so familiar to me, though. This was our third move in two years. We had been moving around the country due to my husband's job.
My husband, Edward Cullen, owned his own website design business. He helped small businesses set up their websites and helped get their names out there. He was fantastic at what he did and tended to really make a difference in the companies he worked with. He explained that the frequent moving helped with gaining new customers in different regions. Also, something about wanting to be there, face-to-face, with the customers as opposed to meeting them and working with them via the phone or internet.
As much as I didn't like all the moving about, I didn't question him. He was very successful at his job, and the house we'd bought this time proved it. He set us up in a very nice gated community. Plus, I didn't have to work, just stayed at home and hoped that one day we would get the news we were hoping for—a baby. We wanted a family, and moving into these big homes held the underlying hope that one day we would fill the rooms with a gang of our own.
My husband was the kind of man who strived each day to give me what I wanted and what I needed. We had met one day when I was working at a bookstore. He came in to see if we had this mystery book he wanted, and when I found it for him, he gave me a big smile, showing off his straight, white teeth and nice full lips. I wasn't one with a verbal filter at the time and embarrassingly voiced my desire to kiss him. He wasted no time in fulfilling that want, and we were married six months later. Since then, he had continued to spoil me. Just looking around at all the expensive kitchenware, I knew it was true.
I decided to take a break, and it was good timing too since the doorbell rang, signaling what I expected to be the first of our neighbors coming to welcome us to the neighborhood. Hopefully this town wasn't fond of casseroles. The last move we'd made, we ended up with four sitting in the fridge by the time Edward came home that first night.
I swung open the door, and two pairs of excited eyes stared back at me. The first woman was shorter than me, I would guess just under five feet, and had a cute pixie cut. Her black hair curled by her ears. The other woman had light blonde hair with hints of red in it and seemed to be my height, just slightly curvier than me. Both held what looked to be some sort of dessert in their hands.
The shorter woman spoke first, her voice high-pitched and full of excitement. "Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Alice Brandon; this is Tanya Denali! We live on either side of you and thought it would be nice to bring over some sweet desserts!" They each had a plate of what looked like sugar cookies. The good kind with the frosting.
Her smile was so big, it had to give her cheeks a workout to stretch her lips that far. I smiled back at her when Tanya added, "Plus, we figured you would be getting too many casseroles from those snobby bitches down the street." She nodded her head to the left, and we all looked at the houses that seemed like they stepped out of that Stepford Wives movie.
"You read my mind. I'm Bella Cullen. Come on in." I took their delicious treats, and they followed me into the bare house, our heels clicking on the oak floors.
I led them into the kitchen; their eyes scanned the piles of boxes. "Sorry it's a mess. We're still unpacking." I shrugged my shoulders and set the plates of cookies on the counter.
"Don't worry about it," Tanya said, waving her hand in the air as if she was waving away the issue. "Pour me a glass of wine, and let's help you unpack."
"Yeah! That sounds like fun." Alice smiled, and it seemed it took me less than twenty-four hours of living in my new home to make new friends. That was a record for me.
"You really don't have to. I feel terrible welcoming you two into my home and then forcing you to do manual labor."
Tanya laughed, "We're doing this for us. We want to see if you have nicer stuff than us. We're being purely selfish right now."
The kitchen and the living room were unpacked before I set dinner down on the island counter for my husband. He walked into the kitchen, his reddish brown hair still damp from his shower, and placed a kiss on my cheek before he took a seat in front of his steak and potatoes.
"Oh, Bella." He groaned as he looked at his favorite meal. "You really know how to spoil me."
I smiled at him, happy to make him happy. "Just repaying the favor."
His green eyes sparkled as he gave me one more smile and then dug into his food. He ate like he hadn't seen food in weeks, but I guess that just meant he liked what I made. I wasn't going to argue with that.
We ate in comfortable silence, occasionally telling each other parts of our day. I told him about making new friends, and he seemed happy for me. He knew how lonely it could be, moving to a new town and having to start over. He told me about some possible new clients he'd hope to work with. He seemed really animated about it—that made the move worth it.
"I love you," I said as I pressed my lips to his. He tasted like the wine he was sipping, slightly sweet. He groaned when I pulled back, biting his bottom lip.
I went to get up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. "I love you too," he replied as he nuzzled my neck. I held back a giggle as he gave me gentle kisses on my skin.
"I think I want my dessert now." I shifted slightly, enjoying the feel of his growing erection. His voice was low and hoarse—already a tell-tale sign of how turned on he was.
"Oh, really? Let me get the lemon squares from the fridge." I went to get up again, teasing him, and he pushed the plates off the island. The sound of breaking crockery halted me. He took my second of hesitation, picked me up, and set me on the cold granite.
"Edward—" He silenced me with his lips, his hands grabbed at my face as he kissed me like a starving man. He pushed my legs apart and stepped between them, pulling me toward him so my ass was right on the edge of the counter top. His hand went up my skirt and pressed against my silk panties, expertly finding my clit.
I moaned and threw my head back as he sucked on my neck. With the pressure he was applying, I knew he was leaving a mark for everyone to see. Just the thought of wearing his mark turned me on even more.
"I'll buy you new plates, just let me show my wife how much I appreciated her meal." He moaned against my neck.
Shivers went through my body as I heard the desire in his gravelly voice. His finger slipped past the silk fabric and entered me easily. I could hear how wet I was, and we had barely started.
I moaned as he pumped his fingers in and out of me, the sound of his panting as he continued his movements spurring me on. "Fuck, baby, the way your skin lights up when you're so close, it makes me so damn hard." I grabbed his hand as I came hard against his fingers.
"Oh, God," I screamed, coating his fingers with my juices.
My eyes were shut as I recovered from my orgasm. Shudders rippled through my body as his fingers worked me slowly, taking as much pleasure from me as possible. I heard his belt buckle as he fumbled with his pants. He wasn't waiting any longer. I let him push my legs wider, my body feeling like Jell-O, as he lined his cock up to my core. "I hope that was thanks enough because I need to be greedy now, baby."
I wrapped my hands around his strong back and opened my eyes to watch him slide into me. He didn't stop until we were flush against each other. My heart was pounding, I knew he could hear it. I started to move. I needed the friction, but he shook his head.
"I'm in charge, baby, and you're going to enjoy it." The gruff sound of his voice had me clenching around him again.
He pulled all the way out and slammed back into me, causing my back to arch off the cool granite. He showed no mercy as he continued with his torturous thrusts. He knew how I liked it and would repeatedly pull all the way out before thrusting into me in one quick movement, each time feeling better than the last. Our skin made a delicious slapping sound as it echoed throughout the kitchen.
His breathing was labored, and I knew the sight of my breasts bouncing from his thrusts was getting him close. But I needed more. I couldn't take it. I wanted that fast pace he was so good at.
I dug my nails into his back and pulled him closer to me. He gave me his famous smirk, and the next thing I knew, he was picking up his speed. Seconds later, I was seeing stars. My nails scratched down his back as my breasts pressed against his chest, and I clenched around him, moaning his name.
The sound of his name on my lips caused him to thrust erratically into me. I knew he was close, and I could feel the stickiness of our skin and the smell of sex in the air. He had that look of adoration in his eyes when he gave his final deep thrust. I heard his groan in my ear and felt him shoot his hot streams inside me.
Sated and spent, he collapsed on top of me, and I absorbed the feeling of closeness it stirred within me. We smelled like sex, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"That was good baby." He pulled away from me and winced. "Damn, you really did a number on my back. It must have been really good for you, huh?"
"I thought you loved my naughty side, Mr. Cullen."
"Oh, Mrs. Cullen, I love every side of you."
Things really were going well for me. I spent more time with my new neighbor friends, and Edward's job was picking up. It sucked that he wasn't home as often as I would like, but I knew it was for the best. Besides, having girl time wasn't something I would complain about.
"Oh, Bella, that dress is absolutely gorgeous on you. I wish I had your breasts," Tanya said, sipping her glass of Merlot. Her purple dress looked perfect in my all-white, modern living room. It made me think of getting purple throw pillows just to add some color.
I looked down at my pale pink dress and smiled. "Thank you. It's old."
"Well, it's fabulous. Your body is to die for. What do you do?" she asked, and Alice leaned forward on the couch, nodding her head in agreement.
"Fuck," I said, and they laughed as their focus went to the photo of Edward and me over the fireplace.
"I could see how he would help burn off the calories." Alice smiled as she went into her purse and pulled out a little pendent. She opened it up, and I saw the fine, white powder hidden inside. Cocaine. She had a mini scooper, and I watched in both awe and horror as she snorted some of the cocaine up her nose.
I must have made a shocked face because Tanya started laughing. "Oh, Bella! You didn't know about Alice's little energy boost? You really didn't think she was just bouncing off the walls by herself, did you?"
I shook my head, and Alice cleaned her nose, giving me a sheepish grin. "Sorry, I thought you knew. I wouldn't have just taken that out if you didn't. It's okay, right?"
I didn't know what to say. Was it okay? I'm not some naive girl, but the idea of a grown woman doing drugs just didn't sit well with me. "Where did you get it?" I asked.
"Mrs. Miller, the Stepford wife down the street. If you want some, I can always ask her. But she's a little distraught right now, so it may take a while. She just had to fire her maid. I guess she stole her grandmother's pearls. What a shame!" Alice said, jumping from topic to topic. Just looking into her manic eyes told me the drugs were already working.
"I'm okay," I said, shaking my head. She just shrugged and went back to describing the pearls from the drug dealing woman. I was stuck in my thoughts about Alice and her habit. I didn't want to change my view on her. I mean, Tanya seemed fine with it, and it wasn't like she was a bad person. I needed to get over it. It was just a shock.
"You scared, Bella. Let's change the subject to something less crazy. Let's talk about the sex party I want to throw." Tanya smirked, and all talk of cocaine and pearls was over. Thankfully.
Later that night, I was curled under the covers with a good book when Edward came in, shirtless, with his pajama pants hanging effortlessly from his hips. I licked my lips, and he smirked. He knew what that did to me.
"Fancy meeting you here." He smiled as he slid onto the bed and kissed my cheek. He took my book and threw it carelessly over his shoulder. "Come here, woman. Kiss my stresses away."
I laughed as he puckered his lips at me. I gave him a quick peck, and he pouted when he realized I wasn't giving him more than that.
"What's wrong? Do my normal tricks not work on you? I'll have to think up more," he said with a smile.
"No, something's just bothering me, and I knew you would be the one to help."
"Ah, talk. And then sex. I understand." I laughed and he urged me to start talking. He may have wanted sex, but he was ready to listen. We always talked about the issues of our days together; it helped de-stress. Well, that and sex.
"I found out something about Alice, and I think my views on her have changed."
"Oh? Like what?" he asked, sounding curious.
"We were in the living room, catching up over some wine when Alice snorted cocaine in front of us. She did it so casually, like she was popping a piece of gum in her mouth. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too dense. It just shocked me. I thought I knew her, you know? Then she does something so out of character, and I feel like my opinion of her is changing."
He raised his eyebrows. This wasn't some silly story about my day, and he knew this was serious. I'm not known for making friends as quickly as I did with this move. Normally it would be hard to try to squeeze myself into the tight-knit friendships of the neighborhoods. I didn't want to lose the friends I had, but at the same time, that wasn't me. I wasn't a druggie. I wasn't a girl who did anything that was against the rules at all. I didn't even jaywalk!
He ran a hand through his hair and tugged at the strands. "Well," he said, letting out a sigh. "It's not like she's being a drug pusher and pushing it on you, right? I mean, she sounds like a good friend. It's not like she's hurting you. I know it's a shock, but I think she's a good person. At least from what you tell me."
I nodded my head and stared off into space. Edward had a good point. Just because I knew of her dirty habit, that didn't mean that changed who she was.
"Where did she even get the drugs?" he asked.
"The neighbor down the street. She's the same one who got robbed. Her family pearls were stolen." He gave me a shocked look, and I laughed. "Calm down. It was by the maid. But, come to think of it, it seems like wherever you move us to, people seem to get robbed. You don't know how to pick a good neighborhood?"
I thought I saw a look of worry on his face, but he quickly returned to his happy-going self as he pounced on top of me, his fingers effortlessly causing me to erupt into a fit of giggles.
"I don't move you into dangerous neighborhoods. I keep you safe," he said, his fingers never leaving my side as the tickling ensued. "Don't question my judgment."
I felt his erection against my stomach, and I knew all conversation was over. And I wasn't complaining.
I sat on the edge of our claw-foot tub, and I knew I had to keep my mind busy as I waited for the results of my pregnancy test to come in. If I didn't distract myself, I would have stared at the stick, praying for the results to be in my favor.
Instead, I decided to clean out my husband's drawers. I started at the top of his dresser, which was his most unorganized one—his tie drawer. I knew if I helped organize the ties by color it would make his life that much easier. And mine.
When I opened it, I knew I was right. All his ties were just thrown in there, almost as if he was searching for a specific tie and just moved all the other ones out of the way. He must have been in a hurry. Nothing was even attempted to be put back correctly. I grabbed a couple of ties from the front and started making color piles for them on top of his dresser. I had made a good start when I went back into the drawer, all the way to the far edge, and I felt something hard. Intrigued, I grabbed it and pulled it out.
He had a string of pearls in his tie drawer. Very nice pearls.
I had never seen them before, so they weren't mine. I stared at them, looking over the details of the necklace, and I was drawing a blank.
What the heck is this? Did he buy me a gift? Wouldn't they be in a box or something if he bought them?
I didn't have time to question it too much since I got pulled out of my thoughts by my ringing phone. I saw Tanya's name flash on the screen and quickly grabbed it.
"Any news, doll?" Tanya asked as soon as I answered.
"Oh, I was just going to check. I got distracted," I mumbled, putting the pearls down and walked back to the bathroom to check out the testing stick.
"Distracted? How does one get distracted when waiting for pregnancy results?" Tanya's high pitched laugh floated through my phone as my heart sank. Negative.
I held back the tears that were fighting their way out and threw the stick at the tiled wall. I was so beyond frustrated. We were doing all the things we were supposed to! How was it not happening?
"Oh, doll, you okay?" Tanya questioned, the concern evident in her voice.
"No." I sniffled.
"Well, I'm bringing Alice, and we will lift your spirits. Think of the positives. You can still drink right now!" She hung up the phone, and I was left alone with my thoughts in my empty bathroom. The only thing there was my reflection staring back at me in the mirror. I looked defeated; my tears had caused my mascara to run, leaving black trails down my face.
I wallowed in self-pity until Tanya and Alice came strolling into my bathroom, wine in their hands and reassuring smiles on their beautiful faces.
"Come on, Bella you can't sit in the scene of the crime all day. Get up. We'll drink ourselves silly and order things online that will make our husbands' eyes pop out when they get the bill!" Alice giggled, clutching the wine bottle to her chest. She had clearly taken her little pick me up, and she seemed to be bouncing with every step she took.
I took Tanya's outstretched hand and got on my feet. I gave myself one last fleeting look in the mirror before I followed them out of the master bathroom. As we walked through the bedroom, something caught Alice's eye, and she started walking toward the dresser with my husband's ties.
"What is this?" Alice asked. She tilted her head in fascination as she looked at the pearls I had found earlier. With finding out the inevitable news, I had forgotten about the pearls all together.
"Oh, I found them in the drawer with his ties. I thought maybe he had gotten me a gift?" I shrugged. I didn't care about the pearls right now. All I cared about was the fact that I would have to see Edward's face fall again when he found out this wasn't our month either. Just like all the previous months hadn't been before this one.
Alice was silent as she looked them over. Her face got serious as she looked at me. "You really have no idea where these came from?"
"No. Should I?" I asked. Tanya looked at the pearls too, wondering what caused Alice to lose her bubbliness.
"Bella, these are the pearls I was telling you about. The ones that got stolen from Mrs. Miller's house." She showed me. What the hell?
"Why are they in my house?" I asked out loud, as if that would answer all the questioning stares they were shooting me.
"Bella, did you take it?" Tanya asked, and I laughed.
"Yes, T. I stole from Mrs. Miller's house and just casually had the evidence lying out on the dresser so you two would find it." They gave me a sheepish look.
"Sorry, had to ask," Tanya apologized.
"No, I understand. It's weird. I found it in Edward's tie drawer." They both exchanged a look, and I felt my stomach drop. "What?"
"Did Edward take them?" Alice whispered, almost as if someone would hear us.
"No!" I gasped. "At least, I don't think so. Why would he?"
"It's just weird that the pearls go missing and you find them in his tie drawer, ya know?" Tanya added, as if I wasn't already thinking that.
I shook my head and took them from Alice, shoving them back into their hiding place. "I can't deal with all of this right now. Can we drink away our problems, and then when I see Edward later, I will ask him?"
They both saw how shaken I was and nodded their heads vigorously. Damn, did it feel good to have supportive friends, I thought as I put the bottle of wine to my lips. As I took that refreshing sip, I could feel a headache coming on. Great, just what I needed.
I didn't get to talk to Edward that night, as my headache had me in bed early. It felt like they were coming on more frequently lately. I used to get them a lot before we moved. When we got here, they weren't that bad, but right before Alice dropped the news about her drug habit, they seemed to come back more often again. Edward was always good about making sure he took care of me during them. But I was happy I was asleep by the time he got home. I didn't want him giving me a neck massage when he had stolen pearls in his tie drawer.
I woke up late the next morning and didn't see him until he came home for dinner. It might have just been my imagination, but it almost felt like he was avoiding me, and part of me wondered if he knew I was onto him.
He seemed normal when he came home, kissing my cheek and asking how I was doing. When I studied him, he did look tired. It seemed like there were bags forming under his eyes. More evidence? Or was he just stressed out?
I decided it was best to question him before we went to bed. I didn't want to pounce on him after he had a long day at work.
I was already in bed when he joined me, and he could tell he could tell something was on my mind. "Edward, I have a question for you."
He looked at me with a smile as he got under the covers. "I have an answer for you, beautiful."
"Why are there pearls in your tie drawer?" He looked at me, and his face went to confusion.
"What? Pearls?"
"Yes," I said, looking down, playing with the comforter. "I was looking through the drawer, organizing, and I found pearls. The same pearls that were stolen from down the street. Can you explain that?'
He was silent for a moment, and I looked at him, waiting for a response. "I don't know. But what I do know is that you shouldn't be worrying your head over silly things. What if I bought those pearls to surprise you, and you ruined it for yourself?"
He looked so loving, I almost believed him. "But Alice said they were the same pearls Juliette Miller lost."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "You believe everything Alice tells you? So you would trust her over me? I can look you in the eyes right now and tell you I didn't take them, and you will still believe her, won't you?"
My stomach clenched. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he didn't steal from that woman and that Alice was wrong. He wasn't like that. He wasn't someone who lied. But I saw the pearls with my own eyes.
Edward's face softened, and he caressed my cheek. "I don't know what's going on with this craziness. I heard at work today that someone else on our block got robbed last night. I don't want you getting worried about it, especially when we have much more important things to focus our energy on."
He placed his hand on my stomach, and I nodded. I didn't know what I'd found, but Alice could very well be wrong. Maybe they were a different set of pearls. My husband wasn't the kind of man who would steal from someone else. He just wasn't. I needed to not stress myself out with silly things and focus positive thoughts on getting pregnant.
"I'm sorry I doubted you," I said, and he gave me a small smile in return.
"I will clear this up. Don't worry, babes. I'm sorry you thought you had to." He pulled me into his arms, and I felt safe again.
I checked the tie drawer and never saw the pearls again. But my husband was right. I needed to have faith in him. If he did have the pearls, there had to be some sort of reason why he had them. He wouldn't steal. He just wouldn't.
The girls didn't seem to be on the same page as me, and they said it when I saw them. We were out shopping when Alice brought it up again.
"So, you really don't think he did it?" She gasped in disbelief at my stance on the issue. "Bella, you found the pearls in his drawer!"
"Alice, I know my husband. I don't know the explanation behind the pearls being there, but he didn't steal them." I went to look at purses, ending the discussion. They followed me, understanding I needed time to think.
We were quiet for a couple of minutes until Tanya changed the subject. "So, where were you and Edward driving to the other night? You told us you were in bed all night with a headache."
I looked up from the Dooney & Bourke bag and gave her a confused look. "What? We haven't gone anywhere together in about a week. What are you talking about?"
Alice gave Tanya a look, and they both seemed uncomfortable. "I could have sworn it was you." Alice's voice was low, and she seemed apologetic.
"We were eating at that sushi place off of Grove, and we saw Edward and who we thought was you driving past. He didn't look happy, and neither did the woman. Are you sure it wasn't you? She had the same brown hair as you," Tanya spoke, using her hands.
"Yes, I'm sure." My stomach dropped. If I wasn't in that car, who was? I remembered going to sleep early. Then, in the morning, I got up late, and I had missed him. Did he even come home that night? Was he looking somewhere else? Was I not enough?
The girls must have seen the color leave my face because they were quick to reassure me it was nothing. They even bought me some Sangria at the restaurant across the street when they noticed I still wasn't doing well at lunch. I just couldn't turn off my brain. Could he be cheating?
The rest of my day with the girls was a blur. They tried to reassure me, but nothing was working. I needed to talk to my husband. And this time, I didn't wait until he was settled to bring it up. I wanted answers as soon as he walked through the front door.
His smile fell when he saw my face. "What's wrong?"
I held my head up high and looked him right in the eyes as I asked, "Are you cheating on me?"
I saw his eyes light up, and he threw his head back, laughing. It echoed throughout the house, and I wanted to deck him. Was he laughing in my face? Was the other woman going to get a kick out of this too? My eyes filled with tears.
He saw that I wasn't laughing along and pulled me against him. "Bella, why would you think that? I adore you."
I glanced at his beautiful face and that damned chiseled jaw, and I broke down. I couldn't lose him. I knew things weren't great right now, and I wasn't fulfilling my marital duties by providing him a baby, but I never stopped trying. "Don't lie to me. It's making it worse."
"I swear on my mother's grave that I'm not lying." He forced my chin up so he could look at me. "Where did this come from?"
He wiped away the tears, and I shook myself out of his embrace. "Alice and Tanya saw you and some woman driving together, arguing the night I was in bed with a headache. I didn't see you that morning. Did you even come home?"
"I wasn't with someone that night." His face wasn't giving anything away. I rubbed my temple, feeling a headache coming on.
"Alice saw you! They both did!" I shouted, and I could see his anger charging forward, like it was just waiting to boil up.
"Alice said this; Alice said that! You know what?! I'm sick and tired of having you believe everything those bitches say! No matter what I have to say, it gets knocked down because somehow Alice is right! Not your fucking husband that you've been married to for years!" He pulled at his tie and headed for the stairs.
I followed him. This wasn't ending with him running away. "Then who is she?" I screamed.
"I wasn't with anyone! Bella, I'm only ever with you!" he shouted, looking back at me once he reached the second floor. "Fucking believe me! God damn it! This is getting so hard. I thought meeting those girls would be good for you. Now I can't even come home to my loving wife because she accuses me of everything under the sun!"
"Then what did they see, Edward?" The tears were falling down my cheeks now, and I saw his expression soften. He hated the waterworks.
"I don't know, Bella. I can honestly tell you I was with you that night. I was helping you. You may not remember it, but I was. Please don't cry." He grabbed me in a tight embrace, and I wrapped myself around him. How could this feel so right if what Alice said is true?
"I know things are weird right now, but don't ever doubt that I love you, ever. I would never in a million years go against my marriage vows. I promise."
As I sobbed into his white button-down shirt, I couldn't help but have a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is he telling the truth?
The next day started off normal until I got a phone call from Tanya. The next thing I knew, I was rushing to the hospital. There had been an accident.
Turned out Alice had overdosed. Luckily for her, she survived. But her husband, Jasper, wasn't okay with the fact that her secret was out. It was hurting his image at his executive job. So he was sending her to a rehab facility out of state for six months. As soon as she was better, she was leaving.
I shuddered at the thought that she could have ended up in the morgue. I could just imagine her small, lifeless body sitting on that cold metal table—her nose all white with the powder and her skin icy cold to the touch. The thought made me shiver, and so did the fact that my mind could come up with such a vivid image of it. Creepy.
Tanya was already there when I arrived. Alice looked terrible, which was to be expected with what she had been through. She had an I.V. in her arm and looked so fragile, as if she would break if you just pushed her. Poor Alice. I knew when I found out that Alice had this problem, it was bad, but seeing this happen was scary.
"Oh, Alice," I said, walking to her side. I took her hand as she gave me a weak smile.
"Thanks for coming, Bella," Alice said as I wiped away the tears from my eyes.
"Don't cry," Tanya said, crossing her legs like this was a normal outing, lounging on the hospital chair. "Embrace the fact that Alice isn't bouncing up and down for once."
Alice raised her middle finger at Tanya, and we all laughed. Even surviving something as scary as a drug overdose, Alice was still herself.
"I'm so glad you're okay. What a scare this must have been," I said, and Alice nodded.
"I'm so thankful for Jasper. I know it sounds like he's an asshole for shipping me away, but he's using it as an excuse to get me better. It was bad, and the EMTs told him that if he wasn't there to call 911, I could have died. I had a rapid heartbeat. My chest hurt, and everything felt so slow. Then the seizures started, and Jasper freaked out. He saved me." She smiled at that; it was evident in how she talked about Jasper that he really wasn't the corporate asshole the neighborhood portrayed him as.
"Well, hopefully this will help. No more coke for you," Tanya said, and Alice agreed.
"Not that I'm saying it was fine to take it, but I don't know. This time it seemed different. Like a different batch or something. The bag even looked different than the one I thought I got from Juliette. I don't know. It was just so weird. So scary. I won't touch it again." I was happy to hear the truth behind her words. It takes a big event for people to realize they need to change their habits, and I was hoping this was Alice's.
"I wonder if Jasper did it on purpose. Like to scare you into going to rehab," Tanya suggested, and that got our attention. That sounded terrible. I knew Alice needed help, but that was a little extreme.
"I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if someone was setting me up. I have a weird feeling about it." Alice looked completely serious, and I couldn't help but feel the chill that went down my spine. Who would want to intentionally harm her?
The rest of the day felt like I was just going through the motions of my daily routine. I couldn't shake what Alice had said. Normally, I would write it off as crazy talk, but what if she was right? But who would want to hurt Alice? She didn't cause any trouble at all.
All the brainstorming and stress was getting to me. My now constant headache seemed to be coming back, and all I wanted was to lock myself up at a spa somewhere. I didn't need all this stress. It wasn't helping with my desires to start a family, and it wasn't helping my poor head.
I went to sleep early that night but was woken up by my husband's strong arms pulling me against him. I looked at the clock, and it flashed eleven. I didn't even have time to think of why he was going to bed so late before I was getting pulled back into subconsciousness. But I didn't miss my husband's pleading whisper, "Please don't leave me."
The next morning, I felt better—not totally de-stressed, but better. I just needed to push Alice's crazy thoughts behind me and get focused on myself. We had been in this house for three months, and I was getting antsy with the renovations. I wanted to reorganize things. Maybe if I changed the energy of the house it would help me conceive? I had heard weirder things, so it was worth a shot.
My first idea was to reorganize the bedroom. This was where most of my sex life took place. Next would have to be the bathroom, if we were going in order of most used sex locations. I felt myself smile at the memories of my husband and I in the shower when we first moved in. How we didn't make a baby with that alone still baffled me.
I decided to move the nightstands first and then maybe have Edward move the bed so it was on a different wall. Maybe facing south? I really should've Googled this stuff before just winging it, but I wasn't patient, so I needed to start.
Moving my night stand was easy, so I went to Edward's. I put them both against the opposite wall, and already I felt better. But then I saw something that got my attention. It was a little white baggy on the floor where Edward's nightstand used to be.
Upon closer examination, I saw that it was actually a clear baggy, and it contained a fine white powder. In an instant, what Alice said came back to me, and with shaking hands, I dropped the coke. I wouldn't be surprised if someone was setting me up.
My heart felt heavy. My stomach felt like it was in knots, and a cold sweat came over me. I knew a panic attack was coming along, and I didn't know what to do. The coke wasn't mine, obviously, so that left one other person it could belong to. I knew it wasn't Alice's because she left her little coke holder at my house one day and ended up calling me that night, frantically looking for it. If she had left this at my house, she would have called me. It belonged to Edward. I could feel it.
I sat in a condensed ball on our cool hardwood floors as I cried. I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't call the one person who makes everything better in my world because he seemed to be the one behind all my stress. And if he wanted to go after Alice because she was stirring up trouble and finding stuff out, who knew what would happen to me if I confronted him?
Would Edward really do that though? He wasn't that guy! He was my sweet, loving, affectionate husband. Not some crazy person!
Once the tears stopped and I felt a little more composed, I called up Tanya and had her come over. I couldn't deal with all this on my own, and I knew Tanya could help me. She seemed more of the think first, act later type of person, and I needed that mentality right now.
She came as soon as she could, and I practically dragged her upstairs to the master bedroom. She gave me an odd look before she spoke. "Are you trying to get me alone in your room, Bella? All you had to do was slip me a couple Xanax and pretend you were Henry Cavill. I would've been putty in your hands."
I was surprised to see her so upbeat with Alice being whisked away to the rehab facility, but from the amount of bags I saw in her backseat, I would say she was shopping off the pain just fine.
"I'm not trying to seduce you! I'm trying to show you something." I paused and played with my wedding ring. "I need your help."
That got her attention, and she motioned for me to show her what I had. I picked up the coke bag from the bed and handed it to her. She was silent as she examined it.
"I don't understand. Are you trying to tell me that you've picked up Alice's nasty little habit too?" She handed the baggy back to me with an annoyed look.
"No! I found this when I moved Edward's nightstand. I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten-foot pole!" Her anger seemed to simmer down, and she threw me an apologetic look.
"Well, why don't you just drill into his head what happened to Alice? Maybe use the scare tactic to stop his habits. Oh! Or we could legitimately scare him, follow him and see where he's buying, and then we could pretend to mug him or something crazy!"
I couldn't hold back my laugh at that. "You must live a boring life if that's what you're suggesting."
"It would be fun!" she protested.
"I don't think he has a drug problem. I would have noticed that. I think he has this for a different reason." She seemed to be deep in thought, so I kept going. "When Alice said she thought what happened to her was a set-up, like someone wanted her hurt, I got this weird feeling. I just couldn't shake it. Then I found this baggy, and I really think they're connected."
"You think Edward tried to hurt Alice?" It hurt to nod my head, but I just felt so weird about all this. In my gut I knew Edward had something to do with it, and it was killing me.
"Alice accused him of stealing, and you both saw him out with another woman. I confronted him about both, and he got pissed. He won't give me any answers, just kept saying I should trust him over you two. What if that's what he wants? What if he's the one behind it all? What if I'm living with a killer? Have you ever lived with a killer?" My voice seemed to grow higher and higher with each word, and I was holding back tears as my hands shook.
"My father was a hunter. Does that count?" I cracked a smile at Tanya's trying to lift the mood. "Seriously, I can see where this is coming from. Alice and I thought Edward had something to do with the robberies. But really, trying to kill her?"
I shrugged and looked at the bag again. I asked Tanya to look at it, see if it looked like the ones Alice normally had, and I moved the nightstands back. I guess I didn't need the better energy in the room if Edward himself gave off the worst energy out there. Plus, I didn't want him to think I had another clue against him.
When I finished, Tanya handed it back to me with a shrug. "Looks like Alice's stuff."
I sat on the bed, defeated. If it was her stuff, then it wouldn't be stronger than what she was used to, right? The only thing I knew about drugs was from watching Less Than Zero during my Andrew McCarthy obsession.
"Oh! Alice mentioned that her bag looked different, right? What if he switched it? It sounds weird, but maybe he got into her house when she and Jasper were out to dinner? They got home late that night, so he had time to go in and do it." I somehow knew deep down that what Tanya was saying was true. Alice's drugs had to have been switched with a different batch or something.
"That sounds like the best way to do it, if you were going to," I said. Tanya jumped up and started rummaging in his nightstand. "What are you doing?"
"Maybe he has a journal or something, like somewhere he keeps all his fucked up ideas."
"That sounds logical, but his handwriting is shit. If we found it, we wouldn't be able to read it anyway. Hell, he probably couldn't even read it. That's why he's glued to his laptop, makes everything he needs to write legible. He even writes what he needs from the store in spreadsheets for me so I can identify the items." I laughed, and Tanya just ran out of the room like a headless chicken.
I followed after her to find her sitting behind the desk in Edward's study. The dark wood and the closed curtains gave the room an eerie feel with its lack of natural light. "What are you doing?" I hissed, afraid to step foot into the room with all the information we had just found.
"I'm snooping. I'm really good at this, trust me. Alice wanted to find out if Jasper's sister was having an affair, and I rocked that computer search. Plus, I was obsessed with that lame MTV Catfish show a while ago and kind of picked up a few tips." Tanya shrugged like her answer was completely obvious.
I sat down on the desk and watched as Tanya tried to find something, anything that would be a clue. She found a folder of me, and embarrassingly enough, a couple of my nudes, but she just shrugged, complimented my "rack" and continued on. We found his work contacts and a ton of spreadsheets that all were for his job. Tanya even found his porn folder, and we ended up taking a break to watch a little clip of two girls on a motorcycle, shaking our heads and muttering about youths under our breath.
We went through his email, and that's when we found something weird. She searched my name, and Tanya found an email that was three years old. It was a thank you sent to a doctor's office—the same doctor I had awhile back, before we moved here.
Tanya read faster than me because she gasped out loud at a word I got to three seconds later.
Vasectomy.
I had to reread the email three times to fully believe that my husband was thanking our old doctor for such a quick procedure and for his discretion by not telling me about it.
I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and Tanya placed a reassuring hand on my arm. "Oh, doll, did you not know?" I shook my head, and tears fell, blurring my vision. "What piece of scum does that and doesn't tell their wife? No wonder you haven't gotten pregnant. That cocksucker got his goods cut! If I had a strong arm, I would punch that fucking grin off his fucking face!"
I would have laughed at Tanya's energy, but I was too heartbroken. All those failed tests, all those nights I cried myself to sleep in his arms, all those feelings of uselessness because I couldn't give him the one thing a woman should, and he knew all along. He caused it! He was the one who was doing this to me. Was he laughing every time I thought I was pregnant? Was he smiling to himself as he comforted me through my tears? Was it all a lie? If it was, then who is he? Who am I married to?
She let me cry, only offering words of reassurance and hilarious threats about chopping off his balls. But just having her with me, I didn't feel so alone. I knew that love was powerful, and you could ignore people's flaws and true natures. But how I didn't know about that was baffling.
Once I had settled down, Tanya thought of something, and this time, it didn't sound as ridiculous as when she first suggested it. "Why don't we follow him one day? I mean, if you bring this up to him, he will delete the email and then say you're crazy. He seems to be denying everything already, even when the evidence is clearly saying it's him. Oh, and maybe look for the other stuff that has gotten stolen too."
I nodded my head. Could I pretend to be okay with him? Could I just go about my days as if nothing happened? As if I didn't know about all of what he'd done? If I didn't though, would I end up like Alice? Or would he find out that Tanya knew all this stuff too and go after her?
The feeling of dread sat heavy in my stomach. I had no choice but to pretend.
The days passed by slowly, and I did a good job of keeping up the act that I was fine—that I didn't know my husband had been lying to my face, daily, for years. I kept the smile plastered on my face and my head held high. But most importantly, I searched. I searched the whole house, looked through all of his things, and I found nothing. Maybe he was on to me and that's why I wasn't finding anything. I didn't know, but it hadn't stopped me from wanting to pursue it. I needed to know what was going on; I deserved answers.
With that mindset, I went forth with the stalking idea Tanya had suggested.
We dressed casually and decided to take her maid's car as we followed my husband through his normal routine. We picked a good day to do it too since someone two blocks away from us had their safe broken into, and three rings were stolen the night before. I didn't know if Edward was home or not due to my headaches causing me to fall asleep way too early. But with all the facts we knew, it had to have been him.
We were in the car outside of one of Edward's client's shop, just watching his as he talked to the man about his printing company, and a thought occurred to me. "What am I supposed to say I was doing exactly when he asks how my day was today? I can't say I went shopping because he gets alerts on his phone when the credit card is used." Tanya gave me a look, and I laughed. "I almost maxed out a card once, so now he just wants to keep a constant eye on things."
She glanced back at Edward and then at me. "Say you were at the community garden with me today. They're getting ready to plant a big tree tomorrow, and we could have been watching them dig the hole? I don't know, sounds crazy but we stay at home and have no kids to watch. What else could we do with all this free time?"
She had a point. Plus, I remembered when Edward talked about moving here, he mentioned a community garden, and it had piqued my interest. He laughed at me, saying I wouldn't be too excited about it once I found out how much work it was to actually garden. It would make sense that I would be checking it out.
We sat in front of the store for an hour, chatting on and off about anything, when we saw Edward leave. We followed him as he drove his car across town and then parked where we could still see him and made sure he couldn't see us.
He ended up near the old part of town, far away from our nice gated community. He got out and walked down the street. The old shops and alleyways looked sad with their lack of maintenance. That was why we avoided this area. It just didn't look clean. Just being there was giving me the shivers.
Tanya and I scrambled out of the car when we saw him go down an alley between two stores. We had to find out what he was doing. I knew for a fact that nothing in this part of town was on his list of interests, so what was he doing here?
We were speed walking to the alley when a thought popped into my head, and I stopped Tanya. "Why are you wearing heels? What if he can hear them as we run to catch up?"
She looked shocked I brought it up. "Bella, I don't know how to walk in flats. I will just walk on my toes or something. Come on!"
We continued on. Tanya looked ridiculous trying to quietly run to the alley, but we got there unnoticed. We were about to walk through it when we heard Edward's voice. He sounded pissed.
"I don't fucking care what the damn deal was. You're dealing with me right now. Cut the bullshit, and drop it!" he yelled. I peeked my head around the building and saw Edward in some tall man's face. Edward's face was flushed with rage, and I realized I had never seen him that mad in my life.
"I can't drop it. It's already done. You could give me the money back, and I can see what I can do, but no promises." He laughed, but it wasn't a friendly laugh. It was more menacing. I shivered.
"Fuck, I don't have the damn money, jackass! Fucking pawn dealers." Edward started pacing in front of the ripped stranger, grabbing at his hair so hard it looked painful. The big guy didn't seem to care. He casually pulled out a pack of Marlboro's, plucked a cigarette out between two tan fingers and placed it between his lips. Before lighting it up, he brushed his long hair behind is ears.
As he turned his head toward me, exhaling the first puff of smoke, I caught more of his face, the Native American features easily recognizable. Thankfully, he didn't see me. Just that small look sent a tingle down my spine. And not the good kind.
"He looks familiar," I whispered, facing Tanya. "I don't know where I've seen him before, but I know I have. He looks very familiar."
I tried to rack my brain, but I couldn't come up with where I knew him from. Was he Edward's friend? Did he live in the neighborhood or something? Did he used to live near us before we moved? But no matter how hard I tried, I came up with nothing.
Tanya nudged me, and I got focused. "Look, man, I'm really busy right now. I don't have time for a freak out. Just remember, I'm expecting something today. It's in your hands, man."
"Tonight? Fuck!" Edward hissed, and the man laughed again. "Fine. Looks like another sleepless night."
He started walking toward us, and we panicked. We didn't know where to go, so we ran into the closest store and hid. We watched him walk past and get into his truck before we got out of our crouched position. When we did, we looked around and found ourselves in a tattoo parlor. A woman with fuck you inked by her collar bones glared at us; we took that as a cue to get out.
We said nothing on the ride home, too deep in thought to speak. But it was a silent agreement. We knew we had to do something. Who meets with creepy guys in alleys to scream at them if they weren't up to something?
I had tonight to find out what was going on, or I was going to the cops with everything I had. I couldn't wait anymore. The Edward I knew was a lie. He was a made-up person, and the man I was married to was a stranger. Reminding myself of that made doing what needed to be done that much easier.
I faked a headache so that when Edward came home, he would think I was asleep. In all reality, I did have a headache, but I was fighting it so I could follow him. Tanya was waiting up at her house, and I was supposed to take photos, document everything. Then we were going to talk to him together tomorrow. I just had a bad feeling about it. I felt like something was going to happen to Tanya because Edward texted me as soon as she dropped me off, asking what I was up to. If he had me followed, then he would know whatever I found out, Tanya found out too. He seemed to want to get rid of people who were stirring the pot, and that would include Tanya.
I heard Edward check on me, go to the bathroom, and then leave. I waited a second before I got out of the bed and ran to the back door. It sounded like he was walking to where ever he was going, so I would have to do this on foot.
It was dark, so following him was a little difficult. However I made sure he was in my sight at all times, but not too close.
I thought we were going to be walking forever until we got to the community garden, and he sat down on one of the benches there. It looked eerie with the trees not moving and him just sitting at the deserted bench in the dark, the only light coming from the full moon above. He pulled something out of his pocket, and I saw that they were rings. If I had to guess, I would say they were the rings from the robbery.
I went to take a picture, and I realized I would end up outing myself because of the flash. Fuck. How was I going to get what I needed?
I went to take a step forward, but froze when the snapping sound of a branch breaking under my foot echoed throughout the darkness. He instantly looked up and sighed.
"Bella?" he called out to the darkness. "Bella, just come out, okay?"
When I didn't move, he looked in my direction. He couldn't see me because I was hidden by the darkness, but I could see his annoyed expression. "I would like to go to sleep at a decent time tonight. Please just come out. I'm exhausted, Bella Marie."
I didn't want him to come toward me, so instead I walked toward him. He looked at me in surprise, and that confused me more than his calling me toward him.
"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, getting up and going to grab me in a hug. I held up my hands. "What the fuck is going on?"
He looked annoyed on top of his confusion. "I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing out here by yourself, Edward? And how did you know I was following you?"
"I didn't know you were following me, I—I, what the fuck?!" He grabbed his hair in frustration and started pacing.
I crossed my arms and glared at him. "How does it feel, Edward? How does it feel to know that you've been caught?" That got his attention.
"Caught? Doing what?"
I motioned toward the rings he left on the bench, and he laughed. "You think you caught me stealing stuff?" When I nodded my head, he laughed louder. It sounded creepy in the dark, and his eyes were far from kind when they looked at me again.
"How ironic, that you think you caught me. Oh, Bella, that's not true. Come on. Let's go home." Again, I stepped away from his touch, and he frowned. "Babe?"
"Don't you dare babe me, Edward!" My voice was rising to the level of hysteria. "I fucking know all about your double life! You worthless motherfucker!"
I practically spat at him, and I watched him recoil from my words. "What?"
"I know about the coke; I know you went after Alice. Did she know too much, huh? You wanted to get rid of her?" He looked at me and said nothing. "Oh, and I can't forget about the best thing I discovered, Edward. You are a liar! You have lied about everything! I saw you meet that guy in the alley! I heard that today! You forget to mention your shady dealings to your wife?"
He went to speak, but I cut him off. "I'm not surprised because you forgot to mention to the wife, who you so desperately love, that you got a vasectomy! You watched me cry over those negative results every month! You fucking vile monster!" The tears were flowing freely as I choked out the words. I must have looked like some joke sobbing in the middle of the garden.
"Bella!" His voice sounded hurt, and I refused to fall for his lies again. I turned to walk away from him, but he grabbed my arm. Caught by surprise, I ended up stumbling and falling face first into the side of the second bench. Pain pulsed through me as my head smacked against the wood. I didn't need to feel the blood slowly trickling down my face to prove it.
"Oh, God, Bella. I'm so sorry!" Edward frantically said, trying to bend down and see if I was okay. My head was pounding worse than before, but I was in fight or flight mode, and I forced myself to crawl forward.
"Bella, please, let me help you." He was pleading then, and I shook my head. He went to grab my arm again, but I lost my balance again and ended up falling on the dirt.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed as I scrambled to face him. He towered over me as I sat helpless in the cold dirt.
He looked down at me, and I couldn't read the emotion on his face. Pain? Regret? Sadness? Anger? I didn't know.
"Bella, I don't know what you know, but I love you! You love me, trust me. God damn it. Trust me!" He was yelling when he got to the last word, and he looked panicked. "We can fix this. You just have to trust me!"
"Trust you? You give me no answers, Edward! How can I trust you?"
"Because you're my wife, God damn it!" he shouted. His face contorted in anger, and he punched the bench as hard as he could. I gasped, and he looked at me. He looked crazy.
"Don't hurt me," I whispered. He just came stalking toward me, ignoring the fear on my face.
My hand moved to my right, and I felt the cool steel of the shovel, the same shovel they were using to dig the hole for the tree. It was going to be my only method of self-defense, and from the frantic look on his face, I needed it.
"Don't make any sudden movements!" I held up the shovel, and he laughed.
"Bella, I know you. You won't hurt me. Now, come on. Let's go home! We need to work this out. You need to stop letting your mind make up things that aren't true." His eyes were crazy as he stalked toward me, and I feared for my life. Edward had never so much as raised a hand to me before, but tonight he looked like a completely different man—one I wasn't so sure I could trust. He held his hand out for me and roughly grabbed me when he saw I wasn't going to take it. His fingers gripped me tight as he started pulling me up toward him. The tightness of his grasp shot pain through my arm, and when I tried to pull away from him, he dug his fingers harder into my flesh, almost as if he was trying to create a bruise. I was trapped.
That was the moment when I did something I never expected to do in my life. I swung my arm as hard as I could and cringed when I heard the crack from the shovel making contact with the back of Edward's head. A sob broke free as I watched him crumple to the ground with a thud.
I looked down at him, my head pounding, and then everything went black.
The shrill sound of my cell phone woke me. My head was pounding, so I kept my eyes shut as I grabbed it from the nightstand. "Hello?" I croaked.
"Bella! You never showed up last night. What the fuck happened?! Did you fall asleep or something? Alice's house was robbed last night. Edward took her vintage Marc Jacobs!" Tanya shrieked into my ear. I had to pause before answering because all these images came pouring back into my mind. Edward on that bench, him barking with laughter, and then finally his crumpled body. But I couldn't come up with what happened after. The rest of the night and how I got back into bed was a blank to me.
Was it all a dream?
I got up and decided to check, when I tripped over something. I looked down, and my stomach sank. There, sitting right by the side of my bed, were the pair of Marc Jacobs Tanya was talking about. What the fuck?
I heard Tanya calling my name, but I hung up as soon as I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror across the room. I had dried blood running down my face.
I felt numb.
What's going on? What the FUCK is going on?
I looked around my room and saw the outfit I wore last night, covered in dirt, in a crumpled ball on the floor. I looked at my nightstand, and there sat the rings Edward had last night but no sign of him.
My hands were shaking as I walked out of my room and headed to the front door. I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack, I could feel my stomach clenching with distress, and my heart was beating faster than ever. What if he's still in the park? Is he okay? What's going on? Did he take me home? Did he bring everything back here?
Before I walked out the door, I tripped over his briefcase, and all his papers fell out. I scrambled to pick them up when something caught my eye: my name.
I scanned the pages, and I felt a wave of fear crash through me like a hurricane. It was Edward's journal. He seemed to write an entry and print them out. He kept them with him at all times, to keep his secrets hidden. Even from me.
I came home today to find her crying. I can't keep doing this. I want to tell her why she isn't going to get a positive result on that damn test, but she won't remember. Last time I told her about her issue she ended up in a psych ward for six months, and she came out worse. I can't explain to her that I can't risk bringing a little monster into this world.
I buy her whatever she wants because I know I can't give her the one thing she truly wants.
I'm exhausted. Bella was at it again last night. She went to the neighbors' house and tried to break into their garage. She was babbling about taking the car this time. I talked her out of it, but what happens if next time I can't? I can't lose her. I just can't. She's everything to me. I fucking moved across the country with her when the police started questioning her involvement with the robberies going on in our last neighborhood. She's not well; no one will understand that. They will throw her back into that psych ward, and they can't. I have to protect her. I love her more than anything.
It's worse than I thought. She went after one of her best friends. She kept saying something about her knowing too much when I asked her where she was. I should have known to come home early when that jackass pawn dealer, Jacob, called to tell me Bella asked for bad coke. She tried to kill her best friend. She's far more dangerous than I thought she was. Maybe it will be smarter to bring her back to the psych ward, or we could move again.
Jacob is no help. That asshole. He loves that she comes to him with all her stolen goodies. He's making a great profit. He's decent enough to call me when things get too weird but won't stop accepting her stolen treasures. Asshole.
They say it's not very common and that they don't know how successful treatment is. They told me she could get dangerous; she could do crazy things. Her other half isn't as sweet as her. Her other half is evil and lives to steal and prey on the weak. She's a manipulative bitch. Bella is nothing like her other personality; she isn't that person. When the Marie personality takes over, I still call her Bella because I think one day she can fight her dissociative identity disorder. I know she can. I just have to protect her.
My hands shook at his words and everything started making sense to me. I remembered hearing that disorder somewhere, as if someone told it to me. Something about having more than one personality but not knowing about it. Almost like you were being taken over by this other you. I could remember flashes of past things, like seeing Jacob before. I knew I knew him from somewhere. But none of my flashes would fit together, and I would shrug them off as dreams or déjà vu.
That explained why Edward didn't want me to have babies. What if it was passed on? It explained the stealing—it was me. He was trying to stop me. He knew my habits, and he tried to save me from myself. All those times he told me to trust him and his explanations, he never lied to me. He tried to save me. He loved me.
I suddenly felt out of sync with my emotions. One minute the memory of my husband caused me to smile, and the next minute my heart plummeted to my stomach as I remembered about the garden. About Edward.
A strong feeling of dread coursed through my veins as I ran out of the house, clad in only my pajamas, and rushed toward the garden, hoping with everything inside me that he was just passed out. But when I got there, he was nowhere to be found. What I did see, however, would haunt me forever. There, where the tree should have gone, was a filled-in hole, with the soil still fresh and raised, and the shovel sticking out of the top.
I knew in my gut that Edward's body was buried in that hole.
I threw up everything I had in my system. I knew I was the one who put him there. I did that, with the thing Edward was always trying to protect me from.
My other personality.
When Edward told me the storm wasn't coming, he really didn't lie. How could he have lied if the storm was already there, brewing deep inside me, just waiting to come out and wreak havoc on our life?
That was the last thought I had before I took a drink of my own personal made poison. Staring at myself in the mirror, I knew this would end, finally. I didn't want to hurt anyone else. I didn't want to let Marie take over, and I didn't want to live without him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking up to the skies, hoping Edward knew how sincere I was. And then everything went black. The storm was gone.
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