I always wished for my life to be colorful.

But instead, it ended up getting only more black and white.

XxX

She was like a shining dark green jewel; no, she was even prettier than a jewel.

Lenalee...

Oh, how I loved her name. I could go insane spelling it inside my head again and again. How beautiful the vowels sounded along with the consonants.

I fell in love with her at first sight. Her Chinese appearance stunned me, and not to talk about the big innocent eyes, which contained calm but cautious movements.

The first time I saw her was on a mission to India, or to be more specific, in Agra- the south-west of Delhi. One of the most breathtaking places in the world. But we didn't have any time to enjoy the nature and buildings. The Millennium Earl wanted us to look for innocence, since there had apparently been an extreme amount of exorcists dying and the akuma were not smart enough to pick them up. And they didn't have the hands for it- they could only fly randomly around and shoot at people. Delightful ability, am I right?

When I walked around rapidly in the town of Delhi, the streets were like a maze; there were crossroads everywhere and the houses were too big for me to peep over. I had no idea where I'd end up.

People in either plain and traditional clothes, or clothes embroidered with thousands of small glittering decorations, passed by me. Luckily, because of my appearance, I could easily look like one of them, and not too outlandish, so it wasn't a big deal to go undercover.

It flickered before my eyes, when I saw two figures in black uniforms with white stripes come out from a basement. As soon as their eyes caught me, they were ready to fight.

She called me "Mind Freak" and "Whitey".

I got jealous as soon as I saw her company, the stupid Allen Walker guy. They fought together against me and my useless handful of level one akuma, so of course they ended up having a bigger triumph than I.

The pain was emerging from everywhere, and I could feel all my muscles ache. I was flung into a temple, and for a moment, felt terrible for being guilty of destroying such a detailed wonder.

I felt weak.

I wasn't good at fighting, and liked better to just sit down quietly and penetrate people's minds.

I read their minds with ease, but still Lenalee's were a bit tricky. I guess I was too scatterbrained to see her real view.

I wanted to embrace her tightly, clutch her into my chest. I wanted to hold her, as Road held her favorite dolls. She was like the paint on my very own canvas; not like thick oil-painting, but a thin layer of water with bright colors.

I wanted to twirl her hair around in circles, with the tip of my finger.

And I wanted to whisper sweet words in her ear; words which were worth more, than the friendship of Allen Walker. I had an urge of proving that I was worth more and better than that exorcist.

XxX

Now, when I look in the mirror and see the scratches and bloody marks, I still can't get away with the feeling of one-sided love.

I feel loneliness taking over my mind, and as the water in the washbasin runs, it takes all the zest for life along.

I can never be good enough for her.

What I see in her eyes is fear. What she expresses is aggressive attacks against the akuma and me.

I should never have tried to break my monotonous life. I know how the others will see me as an even bigger weirdo, if they know my dirty little secret, so I decide to shut my mouth. I try not to look too expressional, when we meet against the exorcists.

I know she's an exorcist, and a pretty strong one, that's for sure, but I also see her as more than that. I see her as a nice and delightful lady, who could, hopefully, fill out the holes inside me- I seem to get them all the time and they never heal in any way.

She can only see me as a Noah, and nothing more.

I usually don't do crack-pairings, but I thought it could be pretty fun to write about Wisely x Lenalee, one-sided love, so... anyway, I hope you liked it :)