Once upon a time, there were nine realms. In those realms lived many different species, all living together in harmony.
Well, as harmonious as they could manage with a small war going on between Asgard and Jotunheim.
Did I say a small war? I meant a long, tedious war that ravaged both worlds. It has gotten to the point where apparently Earth has been involved. So, that's where I come in. I'm only telling you this now because I'm pretty sure I will never see you again, Pepper. So keep reading this to the end.
Why am I involved, you might ask. Well, I'll tell you with the least amount of cursing as I can manage. It all started when Thor came down to Earth and ordered us to hand over a prince….
"Are you seriously telling me the god of fucking thunder just showed up in Navada demanding a prince?"
Fury answered with a perfectly straight face, "That's exactly what happened, Stark."
"Why the fuck does an old Norwegian god need a prince?" Tony paused before adding, "Also, why Navada?"
"You really think I know why a god is demanding anything from some southern state?" Fury snapped in reply. "All I know is, we ain't got princes in America and the British aren't giving any of their's up. This is where you come in."
So, apparently I'm the closest thing to a prince around here. I can see you rolling your eyes while you read this. But it was Fury's call, as usual. When the god of thunder says jump, apparently Fury says 'Tony Stark.'
I don't know if I will ever be back, I don't even know what the fuck they need a prince for. But if I don't make it back, you will need to take care of everything. I will be taking one suit with me, because there's no fucking way I'm running around space without one. The rest, I leave in your capable hands. Wish me luck, and not dying and all that.
Love,
You know who I am.
Thor had been a very agreeable god. Right up until the point where he ordered Tony to marry some giant ice pack.
"Tell me again, why I have to do this?"
Thor frowned, looking confused as to why this mortal had so much trouble understanding a simple concept.
"If you do not marry Loki Laufeyson, Asgard and Midgard both will be in mortal danger," Thor replied slowly. He smiled and added, "You are our last hope of creating a period of peace between the nine realms again."
"Kay, thanks. No pressure or anything."
Four days later, Tony was standing face to face with a Frost Giant. Taking into account the massiveness of the other giants around his fiancé, Frost Midget was more appropriate. Still, he was a giant to Tony.
"It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, Tony Stark of Midgard," Thor said cheerfully, his arms wide in a welcoming manner. After spending time with the god, Tony was a little surprised that Odin was letting 'Tactless Thor' handle such a delicate operation. He was less diplomatic and more dopey than one would expect for the god of thunder.
The frost giants looked as unimpressed as Tony felt. They really weren't hiding it as well.
"A pleasure," the smallest one said coldly. It was very clear that it was anything but pleasurable to meet Tony.
"Nice to meet you too, future hubby."
It was worth the alarmed look on Thor's face. Did Thor even know what the word meant? Did he think Tony just insulted the Smurf prince?
Good.
"We would like to be directed to our quarters," the smaller of the frost giants said, ignoring Tony thoroughly.
"I… but," Thor stumbled over his words, looking more uncomfortable by the second.
"Hey, big blue," Tony interrupted, "aren't you supposed to introduce yourself?"
The prince's eyes could have peeled the paint off his suit.
"I am son of king Laufey," he drawled, clearly in better control of his anger than the others, " You may call me Prince Loki."
Tony raised an eyebrow, eyeing the prince's entourage thoughtfully. "Would it be weird or disrespectful to ask to talk to you in private?"
He added hastily, "I mean before you go rest or whatever. It will only take a minute."
If Thor knew more about baseball, he would know better hand gestures to use to imply, 'Don't do it you stupid fuck.'
But, Tony took his twitching as a sign to ignore him and smiled sweetly at his soon to be husband.
Loki met his smile without an ounce of humor in those red eyes. "But of course. I understand you were thrust into this, quite against your will as well."
"'Thrust' is really the accurate term for it," Tony commented with a hint of distaste. He still felt nauseous after being thrown from one planet to another. The Bifrost was all good and lovely. Until you ride it and it turns you inside out.
Loki's lips twitched with amusement.
There we go. I thought I was going to be stuck with a cold fish for the rest of my life.
"Shall we?" Tony asked, offering an arm out to him.
Loki looked at the arm with barely masked confusion before striding off in front of him. Tony glanced at Thor who was, again, making twitching gestures with his hands. Tony grinned and gave the god a thumbs up before following Loki.
"What is it you wish to speak to me about?" Loki asked as they reached a comfortable distance from the group.
Tony sighed, finally letting himself express some of the stress that had been building up. He had a feeling Loki would appreciate the honesty more than an act.
"Look, this is a bucket of shit that neither of us wanted," Tony said, running a hand down his face. "I wasn't planning on getting married to anyone any time soon, much less uh… a blue, prince, god thing."
Loki's eyes narrowed into slits.
Okay, so maybe 'thing' was the wrong word.
"What I mean is, I feel bad," he amended. "I didn't know about this until I got here, and by the looks of it, neither did you."
Loki relaxed very little. "I was unaware until recently, yes."
Tony resisted the urge to sigh again. He didn't want the prince to think he was irritated with him. Lest he decide to smite Tony where he stood. "What I'm getting at, in a sloppy, half-assed way, is that we should try to get along."
"Why bother?" Loki snapped, some of his pent up anger showing at last. "I see no point in becoming friendly. Many marriages are under diplomatic terms with no further affections needed."
Tony looked seriously into the red eyes in front of him. "Because we're both a lot smarter than any of that group over there. I'd also say we have a similar sense of humor too," he paused and shared a real smile. "I think I'm probably going to be the only decent company around for miles."
Loki finally smiled something wider than a twitch. Even if it was a smirk, it still counted.
"I see," he said slowly. "Then I agree to your terms. I do grow tired of conversation that lacks a challenge."
"Glad to be doing business with you."
Tony offered a hand out to shake. Loki looked at it with a small frown. It was almost cute to see him look so honestly confused. Tony wondered, vaguely, if all It took to tear down that emotionless mask was a few strange mortal antics.
"Are you offering me something?" The prince asked.
"A hand shake. You reach out and grab my hand to shake it. It's how we come to an accord, as you would call it. Probably."
Loki's brow furrowed more. "We generally clasp the arms in an agreement." He paused, looking down at his own hand. "I fear I may hurt you if I touch you."
"Hey, I'm not that weak. I almost took Thor in an arm wrestle the other day."
By almost, he meant he managed to avoid having his arm torn off.
"That is not what I m—"
Tony grabbed his arm and give it a good, firm shake. He nearly jumped at the feeling of frozen skin against his. Oh yeah, Frost Giant.
"There," he said cheerfully, " that wasn't so bad was it?"
The look on Loki's face was pure comedy. The prince looked down at his hand in incredulous amazement.
"It did not burn you?" He asked slowly.
"Burn? Nope. I'm good. A little chilly, but I've felt worse."
Loki huffed with laugher, letting the hand fall to his side. "I see. You're blood must differ from that of the Aesir."
"These guys?" Tony asked, nodding his head towards the awkward looking Thor.
"Yes, the royalty of Asgard." He spit the last word out like it personally offended him.
Tony raised an eyebrow and decided not to press the issue. They had many years ahead of them to learn one another's likes and dislikes.
"I'm not related to gods," he replied, sounding equally disgusted at the thought.
"As godly as I may look," he added with a smirk.
Loki raised an eyebrow to match his, looking thoroughly unimpressed.
Tony ignored the small pang of disappointment at the lack of an impression he was making on the prince. Really, it's not like the guy wasn't attractive, even with the blue skin. Tony wouldn't say no to exploring those white lines with more than his eyes.
Tony blinked a few times, missing what Loki said completely.
"What? Sorry I was distracted by… Uh. Decorations."
"I asked if we were done here," Loki repeated, the irritation returning quickly to his voice.
Tony nearly winced at how fast the prince's mood reverted back and nodded. It had been going so well, too.
"Sure, whatever. Get some beauty sleep." He shrugged and added, "not that you need it."
There was that look of disbelief and awe again. It was like the guy was never complimented, which was impossible because he was gorgeous.
Tony felt a small laugh bubble up, his stress and worry fading slightly. He reached out, chuckling softly, and brushed a few stray hairs out of Loki's face.
"See you tomorrow then, Loki."
He left the prince staring after him, looking suspiciously like he was blushing.
Once upon a time, there lived a prince. He was known as the prince of Jotunhiem. He lived in royal splendor under a good king, and a better father.
Did I say prince? I meant slave. A man who works for no pay, and does everything those above him ask. That is, in fact, the meaning of the word is it not?
Why I am asking such a thing, you must be wondering. Although you really shouldn't wonder, mother, seeing as you saw how they treated me everyday. To be treated as scum for no other reason than my size? All of this suffering and then just the other day…
"You wish me to what?!" Loki shouted, painfully aware of how less booming his voice was than the other male Jotuns.
"You will travel to Asgard and work as our diplomat," Laufey answered smoothly. "Peace is needed between these realms, and I mean to be the instigator."
"You mean to send me into the pits of hell."
"Are you not always claiming how tiring the work here is?" Laufey asked, a sneer forming on his face.
"You will do this, or continue to be useless here. I will not be so lenient on a prince who does not do his duties."
So, apparently, I am an incapable prince no matter what I do. Be it the physical laboring he has forced me into daily, or being a diplomat in the realm of barbarians.
I do not know if I shall ever return. I do not know if I ever wish to return, seeing how little there is I have any desire to see again. In the event of my undoubtably soon death, I leave the handling of my affairs to you. I do believe, out of everyone, you are the only one who hates me slightly less. Please keep my books for me and pass them to those eager to learn.
Yours,
The prince that never was
Being a diplomat had seemed almost agreeable. Up until the point where his entourage of guards leered at him about the wedding.
"No one said anything about marriage…" Loki said to the elder who was sending them on their way to the Bifrost site.
"King Laufey has set it up nicely. You shall be wed to either an Asgardian Aesir, or one from Midgard."
"And if I refuse?"
The elder smiled at the prince with all the affection of an ice snake. "Then you shall throw the nine realms into chaos due to your selfishness."
"I see," Loki spat at the man, biting back his nastier remarks. So the weight of the nine realms was upon his shoulders. How important of him.
One rainbow journey and a walk through the golden city, and Loki was facing two men. One was the same high as he, impressive even for a god. The other was much shorter, looking about as amused as he felt.
The blond introduced the shorter man as Tony Stark. Loki felt it odd how lackluster of a ceremony it was and how overly familiar the god was with the mortal. He had heard his soon to be husband's full name was Anthony Edward Stark. He was unsure why the oaf would find it appropriate to introduce with a pet name.
"A pleasure," he said distractedly. One of the other Jotun behind him snickered slightly. Clearly deriving a sick pleasure at Loki's situation.
Loki failed to hear whatever the mortal said. He forced himself to concentrate on the two in front of him. He politely asked to be directed to his quarters. The sooner he escaped his 'guards' the better he would feel.
The blond simply bumbled over himself, wasting Loki's precious time. He needed to get away before he broke down in front of the lot of them.
"Hey, big blue," the mortal interrupted his thoughts, "aren't you supposed to introduce yourself?"
He bit back the wave of panic and leveled his gaze on the shorter man.
"I am son of king Laufey," he replied carefully, feeling as though he were lying. " You may call me Prince Loki."
Another lie. No one called him Prince Loki. He was only called a prince in leering sarcasm.
The man in front of him seemed unfazed. Anthony cast a strange look at the men escorting him and asked if they could speak in private.
Loki tensed. So he was going to be that sort of husband. Loki was, yet again, going to be a slave to another. By the sounds of it, the lowest of them all. A bed slave.
The mortal added, "I mean before you go rest or whatever. It will only take a minute." He smiled at Loki.
Loki forced a smile on his face, doing as he had always done. Perform the part given to him.
"But of course," he said politely, ignoring the fear eating away at his stomach." I understand you were thrust into this, quite against your will, as well."
"'Thrust' is really the accurate term for it," the man said, sounding as disgusted as he felt about the entire thing.
Loki felt himself smile, just a little at the mortal's discomfort.
So I am not alone in my dislike of this wedding. Perhaps we can manage somehow.
"Shall we?" Anthony asked, jutting an elbow at him.
Loki stared at the offered limb, trying to come to some sort of conclusion as to what the gesture meant. When nothing came to mind, he simply walked on ahead.
"What is it you wish to speak to me about?" Loki asked, breaching the topic quickly. He hoped the man would be reasonable. If not, this was more than likely going to be an unpleasant show of dominance over him.
The man sighed, looking as though a sudden weight graced his shoulders. Loki felt a pang of familiarity, and a hint of surprise at the mortal's acting skills. Although, why he chose to give up the act in front of Loki was yet to be determined.
"Look," Anthony began, rubbing his face in what looked like frustration, "this is a bucket of shit that neither of us wanted. I wasn't planning on getting married to anyone any time soon, much less uh… a blue prince god thing."
Loki narrowed his eyes, biting back some comments on his lack of desire to marry a dirty midget.
"What I mean is," the man continued more carefully, "I feel bad. I didn't know about this until I got here, and by the looks of it, neither did you."
Loki was surprised, having assumed the mortal had chosen this situation for himself. Just as he had been given the option to remain useless at home. Perhaps it was prideful to think anyone wanted Loki personally, even for diplomatic reasons.
He agreed, that he was also pushed into the situation.
The man was giving him a strange look, as if weighing his options. He seemed wary of Loki, and he wondered vaguely if it was due to his small size.
"What I'm getting at, in a sloppy, half-assed way, is that we should try to get along."
Get along? Loki nearly laughed at this as his insides twisted at the notion. He truly was to be bedded, not even to be treated as a diplomat. He knew he was thrown to the beasts by his own father. This was not some form of service to his realm, it was a means to get rid of him. To finally be rid of that hideous Loki. The useless Loki.
"Why bother?" Loki finally snapped, feeling years of anger seep from his bones. "I see no point in becoming friendly. Many marriages are under diplomatic terms with no further affections needed."
"Because we're both a lot smarter than any of that group over there. I'd also say we have a similar sense of humor," the man said, looking at him seriously, but sounding slightly amused. "I think I'm probably going to be the only decent company around for miles."
He reigned back his surprise and smirked. So the mortal thought him smart. Well that was a better compliment than he had expected.
"I see," he replied slowly, shaking away the hopeful thoughts that began to form. No reason to assume the best yet.
"Then I agree to your terms. I do grow tired of conversation that lacks a challenge."
The mortal said he was glad for something and again, thrust his arm out at Loki. This time, he had his palm up as though he were offering the air to him. Loki eyed it in confusion, noting the similarities to the poster for closing a deal.
"Are you offering me something?" He eventually asked.
"A hand shake. You reach out and grab my hand to shake it. It's how we come to an accord, as you would call it. Probably."
Loki frowned more, unsure of what to do. "We generally clasp the arms in an agreement," he said carefully before looking down at his blue hands.
He had been warned not to touch any of the Aesir, lest he wish to anger them with a burn. He assumed it was the same for those of Midgard. "I fear I may hurt you if I touch you."
"Hey, I'm not that weak. I almost took Thor in an arm wrestle the other day."
Loki was unsure what any of that meant, but of course he knew who Thor was. Who hadn't heard of his glorious battles and unmatched strength. So the mortal could hold his own with the god, impressive.
Still…
"That is not what I m—"
Anthony grabbed his arm awkwardly, but firmly. He then proceeded to shake their arms together in a rough bastardization of the traditional clasping of arms.
He nearly jumped at the feeling of warm flesh against his. Oh yes, a mortal.
"There," the man said cheerfully, " that wasn't so bad was it?"
Loki openly gaped at their arms.
He had seen, once, what happened to an Aesir when one his own touched them. It was unpleasant and generally ended with screams.
"It did not burn you?" He asked, still in disbelief.
"Burn? Nope. I'm good. A little chilly, but I've felt worse."
Loki felt a laugh escape his lips.
"I see," he said, trying to collect his thoughts. "Your blood must differ from that of the Aesir."
Loki caught the mortal's gesture to the blond god behind them.
"Yes, the royalty of Asgard," he replied, hardly bothering to hide his contempt.
The mortal looked as though he meant to comment, but seemed content on avoiding the topic. Loki was overly grateful for that.
"I'm not related to gods," Anthony said instead, sounding just as unhappy at the thought as Loki felt. "As godly as I may look."
Loki bit back a loud laugh.
True, the man was pleasing on the eye. Far more attractive than Loki has even hoped for. But to compare himself to the massive brutes who called themselves gods was ridiculous. He was no where near their bulk, nor did he seem to share their mannerisms.
The mortal seemed slightly disappointed at Loki's failure to agree with him. He realized he must have tread poorly there, instead seeming to have insulted the man. He was about to make amends on his part, when he noticed Anthony eyeing him strangely.
His eyes had gone from slightly hurt, to almost… hungry. The old fear crawled back into Loki's stomach. Hungry like those who kept such pretty slaves, dressing them up for the parties and undressing them in the bedroom.
He needed to escape that gaze before he showed his fear.
"Are we done here?" He asked more sharply than he intended. He flinched at his own tone, hoping the mortal took it as exhaustion.
The man shook himself from whatever thoughts were on his mind and frowned. He asked Loki to repeat himself.
"I asked if we were done here," Loki repeated, attempting to sound less irked.
"Sure, whatever. Get some beauty sleep. Not that you need it."
Loki froze, unsure of how to take those words. On one hand, it was not uncommon for those who kept bed slaves to compliment them on their features for their own sick fantasies. On the other hand, his words sounded genuinely appreciative.
The man laughed, suddenly. Loki felt his tension seep away at the sound. It wasn't a nasty, teasing laugh. It was loud and pleasant, and it infectious.
Before he could join in, Anthony reached forward and removed a hair that had fallen into his face. It was so gentle, he nearly cried at the small brush of warm skin against his cheek.
"See you tomorrow then, Loki."
Loki stared after him, feeling a strange and unfamiliar heat rise to his face. The man had said his name, and he had said it without an ounce of hatred for the word.