"You Can Call Me Hal"
Title: "You Can Call Me Hal"
Songfic by: The Ice Goddess
Original Song: "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon
Fandom: Metal Gear Solid
Pairing: Snake/Otacon
Rating: G
Notes: This songfic was done in the same random-minded thought pattern as the original song. I pretty much see this fic as a representation of Hal remembering things in his life revolving around the meeting of and relationship he's built with Dave. I got the idea for this when I heard this song for the first time after my love of Metal Gear Slash began. I just didn't get around to putting it on paper until now. ^_^ I have enclosed the original lyrics to the original song for those of you who aren't familiar with the tune, after which I have posted my version. Enjoy!
Paul Simon: "You Can Call Me Al"
A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bone digger, Bone digger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And woah my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here
Who'll be my role-model
Now that my role-model is
Gone, gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
Call me Al
A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
Call me Al
***
***
The Ice Goddess: "You Can Call Me Hal"
A man walks in my lab
He asks "Why are you still in that locker now?"
Why am I still in this locker?
The story of my life is so long
I need to take this opportunity
I want the shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a fool who
Lived a cartoon fantasy
Lady Sniper, Lady Sniper
Dogs in the moonlight
Their haunting howl still fresh in my mind
Mr. Mercenary, Mercenary
Take this pain away from me
You know I don't think I can bear this sorrow anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you David
And David when you call me
You can call me Hal
A man walks in my life
He asks "Why are you low in confidence?"
There's a reason I have no confidence.
And woah my life has been hard
Nukes have cursed my family
What if you die here?
Who'll be my role-model
Now that my family is
Gone, gone
They disappeared from me one by one
Alongside the first woman I ever loved
All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you David
And David when you call me
You can call me Hal
Call me Hal
A man looks in my eyes
He told me it's a harsh world
I said, "Let's make a new World"
Maybe it's his first time at peace
He doesn't speak many words
He hides his emotions
He is a lonely man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Gunshots on the battlefield
Scattered dreams and restless nights
He looks to me, to me
He finds comfort in my loving embrace
Spinning with me in his arms
He cries Amen! I fin'ly found it!
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you David
And David when you call me
You can call me Hal
Call me Hal