Chuck Bass is dead and you killed him
You pushed him away when the one thing he needed was love
Love
From a girl like you
You try to laugh but it's too hard
Things and people around you pass in a blur
You wish as hard as you can to wake up from this nightmare and find him standing
There
In front of you
You squeeze your eyes tight shut but know that when you open them
He still wont be there
Serena was the one to tell you
The one to break you
The one who knew all about it
You feel the regret in her eyes as she informs you
You also see the lingering intrigue
Like you're some kind of show
Like she's waiting for you to breakdown
Well you wont let her have it
In a calm and collected voice you ask her to leave
She does, but grudgingly
You know she'll call Nate
Poor, poor, broken Nate
With his
Sad
Sad
Blue eyes
And empty smile
She'll have him check up on you
But you don't want him
The one you want
The one who should hold you is gone
Dead
Dust
As the door closes behind her, you crumple to the floor
Your legs can't hold this weight
Not alone, but yet again you've pushed everyone away
Especially him
The one who you want most
The one you can never have again
You feel his touch
Hot and burning, trails of fire across your body
You hear his voice
Gruff whispers filled with desire and need, august wind and winter rain
You taste his kiss
Deep and rough, ocean tides pulling at rocks, breaking them to sand
Like he broke you
But in the way you needed to be broken
Tears aren't enough now
You think they've all dried up when the truth is you're too numb to function
If only you had said it
If only you had told him
If only he had known
Maybe then
He would be here
Maybe then he would have been
Saved.
Maybe.