love has no expiration date, my heart will always beat for you at a constant rate
blair/nate

…

He wakes up alone. Polish model girlfriend gone. In Germany by himself. He stretches out against the bed, yawns, rolls over to the other side and picks up his phone. Nate wishes he could care enough about Ada being gone but she just seems to be another girl in his long list of exes, flings that won't last, serious relationships he can't find.

Sunlight streams in through the gap of the curtains in his hotel room, hitting the envelope he had clumsily set out on the table last night as he had drunkenly stumbled inside with Ada, half of his mind on sleep and half on sex. Pushing the heavy covers on the bed off of him, he steps lightly on the soft carpeted floor and pads over to the table. He picks up the manilla envelope, gold cursive writing on the front Dan & Serena. Nate should probably feel something at finding an invitation to his ex-girlfriends wedding, even if that said ex-girlfriend is one of his best friends and is marrying one of his best friends, but he feels nothing - not even happiness for the two of him. He discards it on the table, not even bothering to open it and stretches before heading over towards the gap in the gold and red curtains and looking down at the streets bellow. Busy streets and busy lives, people who are probably satisfied with their lives - Nate envies them. He's so over his life: of a career in politics he was always promised but never wanted, a family he wants and was always promised but didn't want at the time, endless days and nights fading into one another because they're all the same. He wants something different, something new or maybe he just wants something familiar.

He has a conference today at 12 and a string of meetings after 3 and all he wants to do is find a joint, smoke until everything is hazy and forget about all the responsibilities he now has. Dan and Serena are getting married, he thinks, and he thinks about how once, for a brief while he had loved Serena, too. In that kind of way that's all consuming, she's the only light you'll ever see - he had loved her and loved her and loved her and he wonders where that love went, now, because it is running through his veins anymore. Nate's loved lots of girls but after awhile all that love seems to disappear, it's why he's single, alone in Germany, with an invite to his ex-girlfriend's wedding and no date to it. He doesn't think he'd take a date anyway. Dan and Serena will want a low-key affair, friends and family but no showy wedding like Lily had always planned, (Nate hates to admit he knows this not because they're two of his best friends but because he had talked about weddings and marriage in the early hours of the morning with Serena, stroking her hair and laughing against her lips - it's a distant memory now, it almost feels like it never even happened).

He sits down in a velvet, plush chair in the corner of the room. It's bathed in a bloody red and he thinks about how much Blair would like this hotel room: reds and golds, it looks so royal. He grins lazily, throwing his head back against the wall. Blair used to try and find the most exquisite rooms to stay in when she travelled, it wasn't the best unless Blair said it was and it wasn't the best for Blair unless she could paint a picture of who would stay there from queens to princesses to Audrey Hepburn. He remembers Sun Valley and the way she had loathed their room at first, plain and bland and boring. He had told her something that had made her love it in the end, he wishes he could recall what it was that he had said. Blair's married now, too, with a son and everything. He thinks that's the weirdest of them all - he had spent so much of his life thinking it was going to be him and Blair, with a townhouse and children and the Perfect Marriage and then it wasn't anymore. It's just strange. Nate's whole life is strange - it was always supposed to be planned out and perfect and it all went awry, all their lives went awry. Especially Blair's, who would of thought her meticulous planning for the perfect life would lead her to a life that wasn't the perfect life she had imagined it to be while growing up and instead it'd be a marriage to Chuck Bass and a son, her mothers company. Nate's not even close to Blair now but he's realised he suddenly has a thousand questions to ask her. Are you happy? Is it everything you never expected but great none the less? He wants her to say yes - he wants her to be happy, he wants her to be happy with his best friend but if last Christmas is anything to go by he's starting to think that might not be the case at all.

Phone brings, waking him out of his thoughts. Connor's name on the screen, an ex-boyfriend who's the last person he wants to deal with right now, he thinks - just another fling he had left him in the cold, in the literal cold. Connor had told him it was over as they were waiting for a train as it poured down with rain, hail and everything, then got on the train and left Nate all alone. He had thought that was a serious relationship on the time but looking back he realises how it was rushed too soon, three months of bliss and then nothing. Regardless, Nate prides himself on being nice and forgiving, so he picks up the phone. Hi, Nate. A breathless Connor says. He expects to find himself feeling something towards Connor as he speaks, as he says his name in a soft, breathless voice but it doesn't do anything. It seems like lately Nate's not having a reaction to anything. I need your help. And doesn't everyone need Nate's help. He lets Connor know he can't help him right this minute because he's got meetings to attend and stuff to do but he'll call him back, he promises to call him back. Nate hangs up and wonders why everyone leaves him but still expects him to help them. It must be karma, penance for his youth - how he fucked girls around all the time, namely Blair with his indecisiveness. But he was young then. Foolish and young - he shouldn't be getting fucked over now for his mistakes then.

Nate really does have meetings to attend, stuff to do. It wasn't just a careless lie to blow Connor off, he'll call him back, fix up his problems for him - whatever he needs. Groaning, he gets up and gets dressed, moving on with his life and choosing not to dwell in the past on failed relationships.

…

Blair pulls a silk blouse over her head, grey pencil skirt on and sighs at her reflection in the mirror - can't decide between bored business woman or bored wife.

"You look nice." Chuck says from the bed, hardly glancing up at her as she runs her fingers over jewelery, gifts from Chuck that she's sure are supposed to redeem his latest fuck-ups she hasn't heard from. Blair smiles tightly, choosing pearls and running her fingers over them before pulling them on around her neck. He hums as he reads something in the paper and Blair pads over to their shared closet, choosing her shoes, sensible heels and she wonders where her daring side went as she sits down gingerly on a chair and slides them on over her stockings. Henry's at Lily's for the weekend.

"I've got a business trip this weekend, babe." It seems to slip off of Chuck's tongue so easily, business trip, babe. Blair wants to believe him but whether it's self doubt or that she knows what business men are like - they grow bored of their marriages and sleep around and while a few years ago she never thought that would be Chuck, he seems to fit the bill well enough now. Blair smiles at him, pats his shoulder and kisses his cheek lightly, stubble grazing her lips. It's not the life she wants anymore, second guessing her marriage, sadness flitting in at random times and often appearing more frequently as time passes but Blair still wants them to be happy - the kind of happy that stretches across an ocean and makes you smile so wide it seems infectious, the kind of happy Serena always used to produce with her big eyes and her wild hair and her laugh that seemed endless. It seems harder to obtain as the days pass and she finds gifts labelled for her appearing more frequently that coincide with Chuck's business trips. Casual coincidences - probably gifts for business trips and not affairs but first and foremost, Blair is a worrier. Her mind goes to the deepest, darkest part and picks out a fear, applies it to every situation until she's told herself that's the truth.

"Okay." Blair says easily, playing the role of the loving wife, a role she's starting not to want anymore. It's hit her lately that she's not sure who she is anymore: she's a mother and a business woman, she's bored and she's tired and she can't quite remember what it was that she wanted out of life when so clearly there was a plan when she was younger. It seems to of vanished in mid-air as courses she hadn't expected crashed into her. "I love you," She tells Chuck, out of fear and hopelessness rather out of love. It's not that she doesn't love Chuck, it's just that sometimes love isn't enough. He nods, she waits for the words back but he's too engrossed in his paper. Rolling her eyes, she steps away from him and walks out of their room, stomping down the stairs in her heels.

Blair remembers the days where it was easy, simple - dining in posh restaurants where their eyes were only on each other, staying up late and plotting the demise of others and - Blair doesn't remember much else, actually, there was sex and scheming and gifts and caring about each other but she supposes it was never easy or simple or couple-ly. None of the things she yearns for. It's so hard because she's wanted to stop loving Chuck but she's never had to want to love him before. Pursing her lips, she pauses at the bottom of the stairs and looks over their house. She just wants to be happy. It's been so fucking long since she's been happy. She's rushed into relationships too soon, marriages too soon - Blair slumps down on one of the steps, kicking her legs out in front of her and allowing herself a moment to think before she rushes off to boss people around. What does she even want? Everything anyone could ever want she has. Married, a son, a business. It seems perfect to the outside eye but it doesn't mean she's not breaking within; rushing into things has never helped anyone and she rushed into so much before deciding what she ever wanted. Rushed into Nate, into Chuck, into Louis - it's all been go, go, go. She even rushed into Dan. At 14 she was dreaming of an Archibald wedding and planning out her dream life yet that crumbled and fell, but she was still rushing into being the mold of the perfect society princess, the darling hanging off of her husband's arm, always just somebody's wife and never her own person - It lapsed into her relationship with Louis, more concerned of her image than of the relationship, of her. With Chuck it was supposed to be easy, it wasn't supposed to be appearances and to be somebody's wife before she was her own person. For so long she thought she knew what she wanted - to be powerful, to be successful, to go after every single thing she's ever wanted, to be happy.

Blair's not happy. It doesn't matter how perfect things can seem or if Chuck's bettered himself into a better person - her marriage isn't a happy one and it's started to affect her outlook on everything else. Blair stands up, sets her shoulders square and marches out the door. It's a problem for another day - it's not like there's much she can do to fix it.

…

Serena and Dan get married. Blair asks Chuck for a divorce.

"I don't want to be divorced," Blair says. "Again." She adds, pacing back and forth in their bedroom. Only 24 hours earlier had her best friend gotten married and she'd been struck with the decision to officially end things. "I'm not happy, Chuck. I deserve to be happy. I thought this could work but it's not working for me, anymore." It comes out in a rush, one big breathe and Blair doesn't want to cry during it but she can feel the tears. Chuck looks taken aback, shocked -

"Marriage counselling." He throws out, a last attempt to save their crumbled marriage. Her mind is already made up; there's been a pros and cons list and everything.

"This is what I want, Chuck." He signs the papers.

It's not as messy as she thought it would be. Chuck's controlling, she had expected him to argue and sprout nonsense about how they're made for only each-other and how they belong; she had expected him to be abusive, she realises as she sits in front of her therapist and details her relationship with Chuck to her, had expected him to resort to his old ways of manipulation but he hadn't. He hadn't - he had changed and bettered himself but it doesn't right the wrongs of the past and it doesn't make for a happy future when that past will still loom over Blair's head like it had been.

…

Nate spots her in a cafe, right after he meets Connor for lunch to help him through his problem (see: drug addiction, needs rehab, needs Nate's help to help him go to rehab), "Disappointed you didn't hold a divorce party." He greets her with. Blair rolls her eyes, raising an eyebrow at Nate like he's lost his mind.

"Some of us don't like tasteless divorce parties." She tells him as she pushes him out of the way, their shoulders knocking together. Nate chuckles in response, leaning against the counter and watching as she walks away. "Also, some of us have been cheated on at divorce parties." Blair grins.

"You were cheated on at a wedding, too, didn't stop you from getting married." Nate teases back, it's probably not the best thing to say but Blair laughs - she laughs. He hadn't expected her to laugh, maybe slap him, but not laugh. Her hands grip onto the back of a chair, wobbling on her heels as she laughs. He grabs hold of one of her shoulders to steady her, placing his free hand on her waist as he stands her upright; there's tears in her eyes, whether from laughing so much or because he did hit a soft spot.

"I did get married." Blair laughs bitterly, "Twice."

"We all make mistakes." Nate grins. Blair shoves him lightly as she rolls her eyes. He realises how much he's missed Blair - this must be the first time they've had a conversation in a year, and it's been longer than a year since they had a conversation just the two of them. Blair looks happier than she did the last he saw her at Christmas, too. Her hair is shinier, for one. Her eyes are brighter, more colour in her cheeks, she looks more relaxed and maybe Christmas was just a stressful time because she was hosting or maybe it was that her marriage had been really taking a toll on her. In the end, it doesn't matter because she looks much happier now.

"What about you?" Blair changes the turn of the conversation, raising a pointed eyebrow at Nate who looks away at her gaze. "Any of the models worthy of a ring yet?"

"Maybe I'd know if they'd stop leaving me," Nate jokes. Blair smiles tightly at him, in that way your friends do when you make light of a situation but they care about you enough to feel sad for you. Or maybe it's pity in her eyes.

"Don't worry, marriage is overrated, anyway." Blair promises him, squeezing his hand. Nate nods his head. Truth is, he's not that bothered by the boys and girls that leave him, he's just bothered that everyone else seems to be settled when he's not.

"Maybe you'd have better luck if you widened the job pool." Blair jabs.

"Ha ha." Nate retorts, laughless and hollow. Blair wants to ask how Chuck is - five years of marriage and a sudden divorce doesn't mean she's stopped caring about him all together. But she doesn't.

"What are you up to?" Blair asks instead.

"Just came back from an ex asking me to help him with his drug addiction." Nate laughs, the situation still feeling absurd. Blair doesn't even blink, like it's usual happenings around here; Nate supposes it is.

"He wants you to supply him?" Blair faux-gasps, grinning. He can't even remember the last time Blair was this carefree, so happy.

"Wants me to recommend a good rehab, you know 'cos my dad and stuff." Nate mumbles off the last part; still a soft spot in his family wall of shame. Blair nods her head, she had been there through it, kind of.

"How is he?"

"He's doing really well." Nate says sincerely. The Captain was good - off drugs, stable job, speaks to Nate regularly. Blair nods, biting the inside of her cheek; should she leave or should she stay and chat. She needs to get back to the office, sort through designs and yell at the new interns some more as she finalises selling Waldorf Designs but she also wants to stay and talk to Nate, catch up. Somewhere along the years they had lost their friendship, a friendship she hadn't wanted to lose.

"I've gotta go but call me. We should grab lunch or dinner some time." Blair says, looking up at Nate. He nods his head, wraps his arms around her and holds her close to him. Kisses her hair.

"I'm proud of you for leaving." He whispers into her hair. Blair smiles against his shoulder, overcome with emotion; it means a lot. Leaving isn't easy as much as it looks that way. It took every ounce of courage she had to tell herself she deserved to change things to make herself happier.

"Bye." She says over her shoulder, waving at Nate as she exits the cafe with a bag of food hanging off of her shoulder.

…

(Nate dates an accountant, a career path change in partners per Blair's joke; Gregg's nice, boring sometimes but nice. He likes rice and numbers and only drinks on Saturday nights and only ever two beers. Nate likes him; he does, he really does; the only problem is that he doesn't love him).

…

Blair buys a one bedroom apartment in France, all to herself. Fills it with Vogues and Cosmos and designer dresses that hang in her closets; stacks and stacks of books, old literature and new fiction - ("It's called expanding my mind, Humphrey." "Yeah but Science Fiction?" Scowls. Rolls her eyes. Rips the book out of his hands. "If I'm going to find myself, it's going to take more than Jane Austen."). It's bathed in whites and golds, trying to make the apartment look lighter, brighter but her bedspread is a deep purple. Blair's favourite part of her apartment is the kitchen and the living room, it's full of metallic silvers and scented candles; a mix of the things she loves so fondly (old films) and things she's never thought about loving before (new films). All in an effort to find herself, to open herself up to more of the world instead of judging everything she hasn't tried before; new things can be just as good as old things, too.

In the end she finds herself curled up on her couch, plush velvet cushions on her skin and Audrey flickering across her screen, her favourite book Emma in her hands and vanilla ice-cream in a bowl. It's the things she's loved for the longest time that she wants in the end. Henry calls her at closes to midnight, her eyes springing with tears as she answers the phone, cradling it up by her ear.

"Hi, baby." She greets, her heart hurting at being so far away from him. It wasn't going to be forever, just until her life was sorted out and Henry would come and stay with her in the holidays or whenever he wanted. He babbles on the other end, talking about school and his friends and what he had had for dinner the night before. Blair laughs at all his jokes, curling her legs up to her chest and wondering if it was the right choice to be away from Henry for so long; she'd never had much maternal instincts before but Henry is hers, her little baby, and even if sometimes he frustrates her endlessly and she feels like she isn't doing anything right when it comes to him, she loves him. But Blair also loves herself, maybe she's selfish for it or maybe she's just trying her best to survive (her therapist tells her that she's not selfish, that doing what is best for Blair is okay and Blair smiles because she wants to believe it). Chuck may be a lot of things but he's a good father, as good as he can be and Henry's always adored Chuck more than Blair - (she'll tell herself a million lies to believe that she's doing the right thing).

Blair hangs up at half past midnight, her chest feeling empty and heavy and hollow. Her whole life she's spent being a bad person, the type who throws yogurt on girls and laughs if they can't afford what she can; she just never thought she'd be the type of person that walks away from her family. Blair calls Serena up to talk about it with, her therapist isn't on speed-dial but her best friend is. Running from your family is the only thing you know, B. Harold ran from you and Eleanor was never home. You grew up around my family - always disappearing it could be it's own magic act. Serena points out to her as Blair confides her fears in her. She nods her head, feeling like a small child all alone in a big world as she curls up on the couch. It's okay to take time for yourself. Blair keeps telling herself that, biting down on her lip to keep herself from crying; it's okay to take time for yourself. Blair's going to go back to New York stronger and happier and a better person - so what if her son misses her for a few months if in the end she comes out happier; it's beneficial to her and Henry.

Twisting her head, she directs her attention back on Audrey; if there's one thing she can always count on to comfort her it's Audrey - in a pink dress tearing up her room.

Blair gets a job working as a magazine editor in Paris. It's a small internship at Vogue - at Vogue! Blair is determined to make it all the way to the top, climbing through jobs tough and jobs easy, pushing down anyone she needs to - while she's making herself happier, it doesn't mean she isn't going to be playing dirty. If she starts small and works her way up the ladder as fast as possible, she could secure a major job as a fashion journalist by the end of the year. Standing in front of her mirror she examines her outfit - it's got to make a big impression. It's a navy ensemble; mini skirt, cream ruffled blouse, navy blazer, black tights. Blair presses her lips together, it almost feels like she's playing it safe but she needs to also remain professional. Before she can change her mind, she leaves.

Her life is falling into place again - Vogue, friends, happiness. One whole year passes by and Blair doesn't even notice it's gone. France has become her home, on the weekends she visits Harold and Roman and the twins and Henry comes to stay with her frequently; she's even thinking about enrolling him in a French pre-school. It's highly renowned, he adapts easily and whenever he visits he never wants to leave - it's all perfect aside from Chuck not wanting him to go; he flies to France just to argue with her about it.

"You decided to leave, Blair. That doesn't mean you get to decide where Henry goes." He tells her, sitting on her chair, with a glass of water sitting in her cup from her fridge. Blair shakes her head at him.

"I'm his mother!" She exclaims, outraged that Chuck is using the fact that she moved against her. Henry plays in the corner, oblivious to the fighting. Her eyes catch him and she softens her voice, he shouldn't have to hear them fight at all. "He's happy whenever he visits me, I don't see the harm in it."

Eventually the fight ends and Blair's lost. Henry will live with Chuck, she'll live in Paris and things will continue like they have been - she supposes your life can't be one hundred percent perfect, it has its ups and downs and it's lost battles.

…

Gregg proposes to Nate a year after dating. It's in the middle of an Italian restaurant. "I-" Nate starts, shocked at the proposal. Gregg smiles up at him like he's the light, the sun, the stars and the moon all combined; the only thing that matters in the whole entire world and it's so flattering to Nate but - but Nate wants to get married, to fall in love, to start a family but Gregg's asking him and the only answer he can think of is no, no, no -

"I don't think we should." Nate says gently, watching as Gregg's face falls. He wants to add on just yet but he also doesn't want to string Gregg along if he expects something more out of this relationship. Something Nate can't offer him. Gregg eats the rest of his meal, even pays for it despite Nate insisting that he will and then he leaves. Nate puts his hands in his pockets, refuses to call his car and walks home alone; reflecting on every lost relationship, on every single thing that's gone wrong in them, thinks about how much he liked Gregg and how in the end it just wasn't enough. It should hurt to lose someone like that but it barely touches Nate at all; it's why he didn't say yes when he so easily could of.

He expects this to be a movie and to run into an ex on his way home, for them to fall madly back in love and get married in the Spring. Maybe they'll have children, maybe they'll adopt - in the end Nate returns home alone, to an empty penthouse that feels too big for his liking. Gregg never even moved in with him but skips straight ahead to proposing to him; he drops his head in his hands and lets out a frustrated yelp before dialing Dan's number and calling him for advice, maybe a smoke if Dan's up to it. Instead he gets Dan very excitedly telling him some great news.

"Serena's pregnant!" And once again Nate's world crumbles as everyone's lives move on and he's still stuck.

"Congratulations." He says, the words feeling foreign on his mouth. Dan's too happy to even notice the bored tone. He's happy for them but he's also incredibly sad for himself.

…

Blair moves back to New York because it turns out she can't stand being away from Henry and doesn't want to miss out on anything that happens to her niece or her nephew.

"I have nowhere to live." Blair sulks, stirring her martini and trying her best not to feel like a failure, the ex-wife who drinks at her husband's hotel. Nate nods his head, leaning in to her side as he sculls his own alcoholic beverage.

"I don't have anyone to live with me." He's waiting for a miracle to come along and she's picking up Henry - only Henry's not here and Chuck's making her wait downstairs; really, she could live but she thinks it might be easier to get drunk here. It's not responsible in any way but she just walked in on her ex-husband having sex with one of her former minions. She really had always hated Penelope.

"I'll move in." Blair jokes, smiling at Nate through fake eyelashes and fake lights; he grins, a little tipsy and hooks his arm through hers. Henry's probably staying at Lily's for the weekend, Chuck just wants to torture her. Blair slips off of the bar stool with a giggle, gripping on tightly to Nate's arm. Blair's happy, really truly fucking happy and now that she's got somewhere to live she's even happier. Nate smiles down at her, at her petite frame wobbling on her too tall high heels, her brown hair that always looks shiny and wonders why they ever broke up. A thought he probably shouldn't have. Blair hiccups as they walk outside, fresh air hitting them. He calls his car around and Blair talks about France. Like a good friend, he doesn't ask why she left.

"Heard you rejected an engagement." Oh - so Blair's not gonna play that good friend game. Nate glares at her in the evening light, at her pink lips and her cheeky grin, her light eyes and raised eyebrow. Pushes her lightly but catches her before she falls to the ground, for a fleeting moment forgetting she's drunk and wobbly.

"Didn't love him." Nate offers. It's the easiest way with Blair - to offer up information before she digs for it, otherwise she'll get inside your head and drive you crazy.

"Was he hot?" Blair asks, a dreamy look taking over her eyes. He laughs, a roaring laugh that the whole of New York can here. Years ago and Blair would of been seething with jealousy at the mere thought of Nate ever dating someone else or looking at someone else and now she's asking him if his ex-boyfriend is hot. It's not a question he ends up answering. Blair's too preoccupied with the car that's parked in front of them, clambering into the backseat and searching for a bottle of Champagne that she won't find.

"I don't have any Champagne."

"No Champagne?" Blair gasps, looking incredulous. Nate shrugs his shoulders, leaning against the plush leather seats and letting his eyes flutter close. Blair admires his face for a second; defined jaw, incredible bone structure. It would be so easy to kiss him right now. It's a thought that's quickly gone from her mind as she too leans against the leather interior and relaxes.

"Thanks, Nate." She whispers, opening an eye to look at him. Nate mimics her without meaning to, one eye open to look at her.

"No problem." He whispers back, reaching out for her hand in the darkness and squeezing it.

…

Nate and Blair settle into each others lives easily, once regaining the friendship they had lost. Nate complains about watching too many Audrey movies in one sitting, Blair complains about the pot he still has stashed in his house; it feels familiar, it feels nice. Nate and her try to cook, once, and she promises him to swear he'll never tell a single soul that she tried to cook. He promises and promises and promises in between laughs. It feels like they're young all over again, before their relationship hit the rocks.

"Sound of music is a good music, B." He moans, nudging her shoulder gently holding the DVD out in his hand, pleading with Blair who's not budging.

"No!" Blair exclaims, knocking the disc out of Nate's hands. Her face scrunching up as she tries not to laugh. Nate tries to play mad for a second before he erupts into laughing, leaning his body weight against Blair's.

"Look at what you did!" He complains. Blair laughs, throwing her head back against the couch and stretching her legs out in front of her; the two of them are splayed against the floor, in front of the couch trying to decide what movie to watch. Blair, per usual, wants Tiffany's and Nate wants the Sound of Music. Neither wants what the other is suggesting.

"Blair, you're the only one who knows I like the Sound of Music. You're the only person I can watch it with." He tells her. Blair scrunches her nose up before letting out a heavy sigh and a snappy fine. Nate grins, happily picking the disc up and moving towards the DVD player.

"You'll love it." He promises, nodding his head enthusiastically as he crawls back up to sit next to Blair and starting the movie. She responds with an eye roll and a bitter remark dripping off of her tongue I've seen it, Nate. Hated it. He ignores it in favour of watching the movie.

…

Nate does the unexpected on a Wednesday night as they eat Chinese, six months after Blair's moved in (and it doesn't look like she's leaving at all). Serena's due to give birth sometime within the next two months and Henry stays with the two of them regularly. It's kind of everything Nate's been looking for these past years; Blair's everything he's been looking for. So, he kisses her - he risks the chance of losing her friendship but he only notes that after he's kissed her, it's unexpected and spur of the moment for both of them. Blair looks at him afterwards with wide eyes;

"What was that?" She asks tentatively. Nate looks back at her with the same wide eyes, shaking his head.

"I - I don't know." He says, slumping against his chair.

"We already tried that, Nate." Blair says quietly.

"I know." He replies.

"But," Blair puts emphasis on the word as she smiles at him. "I wouldn't be against trying it again."

…

this started out as something entirely different and then dove off into a kind off into a blair focused piece for a bit, then dived back into a quick nate/blair focused piece. kind of a mess.