I'm trying a different approach. Watch me fail! :D

Disclaimer: I forgot to post this onto a lot of stuff. I. Don't. Own. Hamtaro. Happy? I'm sure you're not because if I owned Hamtaro, I wouldn't have CANCELLED IT. But I heard rumors that it's coming back to Cartoon Network… And the song isn't mine either. That belongs to Jesse Lee.

Summary: The girls of the clubhouse have something secretly planned, something they say that'll help hamsters all over the world, that'll manage to keep bonds and love strong, maybe even make new ones. Pretty much everything is set and planned so nothing can go wrong! Little do they know the fatal obstacle in their way… The boys. And these dudes are determined to find out what's up, even if it'll kill 'em. THIS WAS ORIGNALLY A ONE SHOT.

This story is dedicated to Theta Jones and for becoming one of my closest friends on this site in just one half of a day. Even if this story has NO connection to him, I'm dedicating it to him. If you have a problem with that, that's too bad. You guys should SO check out his work, there's some really awesome stuff in there!

It's a Girl Thing

Chapter 1:

A New Threat

We love romance and candle light

You like a cold beer,

We like a fine wine,

You hardly talk,

We can talk all night

You wanna fix it,

We just wanna cry

It's a girl thing-

As the music blasted into the car, Bijou managed to catch just a few lyrics of what message the singer was trying to get across. Meanwhile, Maria sat with her shoulders slumped as her parents tried to shut off the music, smashing and pounding random buttons. Before the country song could continue, Maria's father finally managed to mute the radio, satisfied that they could stop the clamor. On the other hand, Maria's mother didn't exactly agree with him.

"Maria!" she snapped at her daughter. Maria nearly jumped out of her seatbelt and Bijou buried her face deeper into her lap, scared to death and ears ringing. "I thought I told you that you shouldn't listen to country!"

"I-I was just curious to hear what it sounded like. Laura said at school that some of them were kind of fun to listen to," Maria stuttered, tripping over the words at the harsh stare. Her mother rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something when her husband interrupted their quarrel.

"You know, it's not all that bad. Besides all of the drinking and making love parts."

Maria and Bijou somehow managed to look at each other out off the corner of their eyes, worry shining in them.

"You will not encourage our daughter of such things," Maria's mother hissed and tossed her chin towards the steering wheel. "You are going to drive us to the pet store. Maria, put Bijou back into her pet carrier, I'm afraid that Princess is going to hurt her." Princess, Maria's dog, was in the front seat, her teeth bared as she growled at the hamster, sending icy chills down Bijou's spine.

"Yes, ma'am," Maria replied stiffly and reluctantly put Bijou back into her mini travel carrier. White clouds were slapped onto the blue background on the wood exterior, causing an unrealistic effect to make Bijou look like she was in the clouds. Despite the obvious pathetic concept, Bijou's head was in the clouds, just not the ones stuck onto her carrier. After hearing that song, the gears in her head furiously fired up, her eyes dawning closer and closer to realization. Finally, after the car had been parked and everyone was ready to go to the pet store, she felt like going across to the software shop next door, but Maria had already hoisted her carrier up, heaving her hamster into the pet shop.

***

"And zhat's vhat I zhink vee should do! For 'amsters all around zee world, don't you two zhink zat vee should get started on this project?" Bijou finished, a gleam of hope and pleading in her indigo eyes. Pashmina and Sandy exchanged an unsure glance and Pashmina faked a smile.

"I don't know, Bij," Pashmina sighed, fiddling with her scarf. Beside her, Sandy nodded solemnly. "This sounds like a lot of hard work. Besides, we don't know how we're supposed to create that-"

"Create what?" Hamtaro butted in, hurrying over to the girl's side of the table. Pashmina nearly fell off her seat, Sandy shot him a glare, Bijou slapped her forehead in distress, and Penelope looked from Bijou to Hamtaro and back in confusion.

"Hamtaro!" Sandy barked. "Do you mind? We're, like, talking about something important!"

"Oh, sorry," Hamtaro apologized quickly. His head seemed to perk up a little as he continued. "But I was thinking that we could play a game of Ham and Go Seek. You girls want to join?"

Bijou looked hurt. Her nose crinkled up in disgust, realizing that a ham boy who wanted to play a child's game thwarted her brilliant plan. Even if she blushed every time she saw Hamtaro, she couldn't help but feel like shoving him aside after he interrupted their secret, only for girls, meeting.

"Maybe later," Pashmina answered quickly, taking a quick glance of Bijou's angry gaze. "Why don't you boys just take off without us?"

"Okay, but tell us if you change your mi-"

" 'Amtaro! Just leave!" Bijou snapped, pointing a paw to the door.

Hamtaro, a little surprised at her rapid change of behavior, stuttered, "W-Well, we were going to play inside so-"

"Ookyoo, ookyoo!" Penelope squeaked, copying Bijou's expression and waving her arms madly through the air. Hamtaro jerked back a little, smile disappeared.

"Um, okay then. But it's raining outside," Hamtaro pointed out.

"You guys, can, like, play under the trees to you don't get wet," Sandy replied quickly, finally giving into Bijou's scheme. Plus, she was desperate for Hamtaro to leave them alone as was any other ham girl at the table.

"What if a cat comes around?" Hamtaro asked boldly, wondering why the girls became so different and… snappish at him.

"I'm sure zat you boys could avoid zee cat, oui?" Bijou pressed firmly, showing him a small smile. "You 'ave fought cats many times before, 'Amtaro. And a little rain can't get in zee way, can it?"

Hamtaro rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, I guess you girls are right. Are you sure you don't wanna come, it sounds so much more fun when you put it that way. I mean, cats and rain, it sounds like an adventure to me!"

All four girls shook their head viciously and Hamtaro was shooed away before he could protest any longer. Stumbling his way back to the boys of the clubhouse, he sucked in a deep breath to tell them what he had just heard.

"Okay, so the girls don't want to play, but they want us to play outside," Hamtaro declared, managing to wear a bright smile.

"But isn't it raining outside?" Dexter asked timidly, cramming his head toward the door as if the water outside would flood into the clubhouse soon.

"And aren't cats out there?" Cappy wondered aloud.

Oxnard immediately starting breaking down, clutching his sunflower seed tighter to his chest. "Wha-wha… What?! C-Cats and rain? I don't want it to end like this, all I wanted was my sunflower seed, what did I do to deserve this?! WHAAAAAAA!!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Oxnard!" Boss ordered, slapping his paw onto the table. Each ham boy jumped into the air, fur standing on the back of their necks as the Boss's paw hit the table with a smack. "Cats don't even like rain, we can head out there just fine."

"Ha, that reminds me of this one joke," Howdy laughed. "Okay, so there's a cat and a dog sitting on a beach and the cat says to the dog-"

"Let's go outside," Dexter said quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of Howdy's little joke. Each ham boy nodded and rushed out the door, leaving Howdy laughing at the punch line.

"So, wasn't that funny?" Howdy hooted, slapping his knee and facing where the boys once were.

"Hilarious."

"Wha…?" Howdy turned towards Pashmina who spoke. His crush was supporting Penelope up, her ankle bulging out of its socket and the littlest ham girl was crying softly.

"Howdy, isn't it just so funny that Penelope tripped on her chair and twisted her ankle? It just splits my sides," Pashmina sneered in a sarcastic tone.

Howdy took one step back, grinding his teeth together. "Oh, geez, Pash, I'm sorry, I was telling this joke and the boys left to go play Ham and Go Seek-"

"You know zhere's more to life zhan just jokes and hide and seek!" Bijou sobbed, throwing her arms into the air. Pashmina and Sandy, once again, exchanged a worried look. Their friend had been so calm and sweet just yesterday, what could have caused her to change so drastically?

"Uh, yeah, Bijou, I know. It's not like I talk about jokes all of the time, heh heh…" Howdy chuckled dryly, moving his paw to the door. Maybe, just maybe, he could swing the door open in time before Bijou or Pashmina could wring his neck…

"Just go, Howdy!" the three older ham girls chorused, Pashmina setting Penelope back onto her feet. Howdy didn't need telling twice. He bolted out the door, panting down the tunnel towards the (sober) members waiting outside for him.

Once Howdy had torn his way through the clubhouse's winding paths and tunnels, he raced out underneath the tree. His tiny chest rapidly moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. The others ran to the side of the tree that Howdy clutched to and stopped dead in their tracks at Howdy's face. Even his usual squinty eyes were wide open in fright. It looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

"H-Howdy? What's wrong with you?" Dexter asked, bewildered by his friend's expression.

"B-Bijou's a killer," Howdy gasped. "I saw it in her evil little eyes… She was going to eat me."

"Bijou?" Boss laughed. "A killer? C'mon, Howdy, that cat joke was worse to you than I thought."

"Come to think of it," Hamtaro said, bringing a paw up to his mouth in thought. "Bijou's been acting real strange lately. She's yells at me more than Sandy now, it's really weird."

"Bijou yells?" Oxnard wondered. He held his sunflower seed above his head, trying to shield himself from the droplets of water hitting their heads. Maxwell did the same, only with his book; Panda and Cappy were huddled under Cappy's metal pot, while the other boys were drenched from head to toe, the rain pattering onto their fur and they shivered every time water hit them.

"Only if you get her angry enough," Panda answered quietly. A raindrop plummeted to his nose and he shuddered.

"It does seem a little strange," Maxwell noticed. "Wasn't Bijou the one who told Hamtaro and us to play outside?"

Hamtaro nodded and wrung his paws nervously together. "But that's not all, ham hams," he said somberly. "Pashmina and Sandy yelled at me too."

"Pashmina got really mad at me one day," Stan bragged and grinning broadly. "Probably 'cuz I was sitting next to Bijou, she was so jealous."

"That was because you spilt tea onto Bijou, Pashmina's best friend."

"Cappy, Cappy, Cappy… You've been spending too much time with Maxwell, the logic has demolished your common sense."

Boss clapped his paws together, signaling for everyone to stop their quarrels. He cleared his voice and boomed, "Obviously, the girls have changed. Hamtaro-" Hamtaro saluted him. "What were they talking about before you came over?"

Hamtaro tapped his chin with his paw. "Hmmm… Well, they were talking about creating some kind of invention thingy majig. And then they got really mad at me."

Boss nodded stiffly, processing the information, and turned to Howdy. "Howdy, what did you do to them?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Howdy defended, shaking his head. "I just told them this joke about a cat and dog and then Pashmina got mad at me for saying it was funny when Penelope twisted her ankle and then Bijou exploded at me and Sandy and Pashmina were all like "What the heke?" and then they kicked me out and now here I am with you idiot- I mean ham hams!"

"That was probably the longest run on sentence I've ever heard," Dexter mumbled.

"No!" Stan called. "This is the longest run on sentence you've ever heard." He took a deep breath while the other ham boys looked on in horror.

"I decided to take a walk one day because I'm so popular because all the ladies love me and I'm cool unlike some ham hams like Dexter and Hamtaro and I went inside this candy store and saw this hot chick there and she was licking a lollipop and I said, "Hey, babe, you wanna suck my own lollipop?" and then she smiled and then slapped me and walked out of the candy shop because I'm such a bad boy and then I got a Snickers bar and then went to the gym to work out because I'm buff and I worked out and I saw another hot chick and said, "Hey, wanna watch me work?" and she's made a sick face and ran out of the gym because my work was apparently too much for her and then I decided to go to a strip joint-"

"You're right, Stan!" Dexter complimented in a strange, mangled voice. "That is the longest run on sentence!" He then murmured, "Too bad I'll be dead when you finally finish it…"

"The sad part is that what he said was all true," Panda announced.

"How do you know that?!" Cappy squeaked under his pot.

"I'm more involved in stuff than you think," Panda replied stiffly.

"Like what?"

"You're too young to know."

"Focus, men!" Boss yelled, huddling everyone together. He took a quick glance at a tiger striped ham boy. "And Stan."

"Dude, I heard that!"

"Maxwell?" Boss sung.

"Sure thing, Boss." Maxwell slapped Stan upside the head with his book. Stan's eyes spaced out for a moment and then they snapped wide open.

"Don't let the squirrel touch my nuts!" he yelled and then fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Well, that takes care of him!" Howdy chuckled, seeming to fully recover at seeing the misery and pain of other hamsters, especially the one who always managed to flirt with Pashmina. Dexter couldn't disagree, it was a great sight to see Stan's tongue rolling out the side of his mouth and his eyes closed, out like a light.

"Well, Howdy was useless… In information anyway, jeez, Howdy." Boss corrected himself at the cold glare aimed at him. He turned back to the huddle and whispered, "The girls obviously have something up and we're going to find out what, right, men?"

"Yeah!" the boys all yelled and high fived each other. "The girls can do their worse, we're ready."

Too bad that they weren't ready for the rest of the events later that day.

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