Take it easy and please tell me if there are any mistakes.
Disclaimer: Akira Amano, it's all yours. All yours.
I'm Single, Thanks for Asking
Centuries ago, the Mafia World existed. Were you to be whisked away to this unknown land strangely parallel to ours, you must certainly hear me out. In the Mafia World, maps are as no-good as No-Good Tsuna, Crown Prince Sawada Tsunayoshi of the Sky Kingdom in the Vongola Va –
Hold it.
In the Mafia World, maps are no-good. Were you to ask for a map from a stranger (Yes, that one. No, no. To your left. The stranger who won't stop going "Kufufu…" beside the suspicious Pineapple N' Chocolate Stand. Yes, that one.) , said stranger would simply chuck a scroll of parchment paper with two words. The two words? Mafia World. See? I told you maps were useless.
Now then, let's talk about survival. Surviving is no easy task, especially if you're involved in the Mafia. And here in Mafia World, everyone's a Mafioso. (Yes, everyone. Including that stupid cow munching on grapes and to your left and that handsome blond galloping away on his enchanting white horse across the road.) Then again, surviving will be much easier if you are a Mafioso, and a good one at that.
And to be a Mafioso, you need to have the Mafioso Knowledge.
The Vongola Valleys. Within the Vongola Valleys lie seven kingdoms.
You all know the names of the seven kingdoms and who governs them, do you not? Why don't we save ourselves from the trouble?
Wait, what was that? You don't? My, my, just where in the parallel worlds did you come from? Very well, it can't be helped then.
The Sky Kingdom – the palace of this kingdom is located in the heart of Vongola Valleys. The palace is open to all and the borders of the Sky Kingdom are the very borders of the Vongola Valleys that separate it form the rest of the Mafia World, embracing everything else from within. This is the only kingdom accessible to and from all the other kingdoms. The King of this kingdom is the constantly missing-in-action Sawada Iemitsu. His loving wife is the ditzy Queen, Sawada Nana. The only prince of the Kingdom is Crown Prince Sawada Tsunayoshi. Believe it or not, Crown Prince Sawada Tsunayoshi runs the kingdom on luck and, occasionally, help from his friends as he takes after his ditzy mother. Having no skill whatsoever, the people branded him as No-Good Tsuna. He isn't as useless as he sounds though. Because of his adorable appearance, calm, pacifying aura and habit of warming up to people and accepting them despite their past and their differences, the Sky Citizens gave him a second nickname – Prince of the Embracing Sky. The Sky Kingdom rulers are tasked to keep the harmony of the Vongola Valleys intact.
The Storm Kingdom – the Storm Kingdom is the kingdom closest to the Sky. The Storm is a day and a half's horse ride away from the Sky and the path connecting the two kingdoms is clear as glass and free of any traps. That is why Crown Prince Gokudera Hayato of the Smokin' Bomb, can come to the Sky and fawn over his precious Tenth-generation boss like the loyal right-hand man that he is. This is much to the disdain of the one who really keeps the kingdom alive, Princess Bianchi of the Poison Scorpion. Prince Gokudera might well be the smartest in all of Vongola Valleys and has a transforming cat by the name of Uri he cannot control but Princess Bianchi has the art of Poison Cooking mastered. Skilled she is, for she can will Poison Cooking into existence and make Gingerbreads that say "How naïve, how very naïve" every couple of minutes and goo-colored Cappuccinos. The Storm Kingdom is in charge of growing fruits, vegetables, and mushrooms to be used in the Vongola Festivals.
The Cloud Kingdom – situated farthest from the rest of the kingdoms, all the routes leading to the Cloud have been either closed or blocked off by the tyrant of a leader himself. The gate which closes-off this kingdom from that of the Sky's is opened at announced dates. Visitors to the Cloud must send letters stating the reason for their visit beforehand. They must then wait for the validation to their visit. Cloud Citizens, on the other hand, must past written reports week after week on their current 'statuses' to their oppressor. This systematic and orderly method keeps the iron-fisted ruler of the kingdom at his desk, busy with paperwork. The iron-fisted ruler is Crown Prince Hibari Kyouya, Prince of the Drifting Clouds of Solitude to the commoners for his lone-wolf tendencies to not act in a group despite having created one himself. The Discipline Committee, composed of Prefects who enforce discipline, hence the name, thru violence, is led by its Vice-Chairman Kusakabe Tetsuya. Whenever Prince Hibari is unable to 'bite to death' those who violate rules due to paperwork, the Discipline Committee covers for him. His palace, fondly called Namimori, is where he lets loose the small animals he has a soft spot for. The Cloud Kingdom's self-appointed duty is to enforce discipline throughout the whole of Vongola as Hibari deploys his Prefects to the kingdoms that 'need' them to ensure that all the citizens are well-disciplined and not crowding.
The Sun Kingdom – the smallest albeit liveliest kingdom is led by the equally lively Crown Prince Sasagawa Ryohei, whose hobby is taking things TO THE EXTREME. This extreme hobby of his earned him the honor of being The Extreme Prince. He almost always misunderstands the rules Sawada Tsunayoshi implements and this sets the Sun Citizens and the Sun Kingdom itself into a whirlpool of confusion. His dearly beloved sister is Princess Sasagawa Kyoko. The Sun Kingdom is responsible for training and developing individuals who have the potential to become strong allies of the Vongola. The Extreme Prince personally leads the training sessions with his Kangaryuu.
The Mist Kingdom – this kingdom is shrouded in mystery and widely infamous for having only six occupants. The kingdom's ruler, Crown Prince Rokudo Mukuro is an ex-convict Prince Tsunayoshi bailed out of Vendicare prison capable of possessing human and animal bodies. His animal of choice, however, is an owl. Having been through six hells and back, Prince Mukuro can conjure illusions he use to his advantage. The Mist Palace, if you could call it that, since it looks more like an old and abandoned building and less like a palace, is called Kokuyo. Information-gathering is entrusted to the Mist Occupants as they are also adept at infiltrating enemy bases.
The Thunder Kingdom – the fame of this kingdom with the most advanced technology is arguably at par with that of the Mists's. Bathing in splendor and shining, sparkling lights, the Thunder Kingdom truly is a sight to behold after the sun sets as its streets are often the venue for the Vongola Outdoor Festivals. Crown Prince Lambo hails from the Bovino Backwoods, famous for its high-quality cows. Prince Lambo grew up thinking he himself was a cow, that is, until King Iemitsu saw his potential and invited him to the Vongola Valleys. It is the Thunder Kingdom's job to build the bridges, roads and borders of Vongola Valleys and monitor the construction.
The Rain Kingdom – this tranquil kingdom has a somewhat lazy feel to it. Rain Citizens are cheerful and laid-back, much like Crown Prince Yamamoto Takeshi. A baseball-player turned swordsman, Prince Yamamoto is son to King Yamamoto Tsuyoshi. Rain Citizens use the ingredients brought in from the Storm Kingdom to cook for the Vongola Festivals.
–––––
The Vongola Guardians were gathered in the Sky Palace they considered the Vongola Mansion to celebrate, in private, Crown Prince Sawada Tsunayoshi's nineteenth birthday.
And that is where our fairy tale begins.
–––––
"…appreciate all your efforts…such greatness! ...running the kingdom…can't compare to your…amazing…"
His nineteenth birthday. It was always the same. Year after year.
But that is about to change.
Dim the lights, here comes the Vongola Chief Advisor Reborn.
He appeared from one of the many grand glass doors you can't see through in the pointlessly large hall they used to celebrate special occasions.
"Tsuna."
"Yes, Reborn?" Said prince looked up.
"We have a problem."
"But…I thought Hibari-san takes care of all the problems?"
At the mention of his name, Hibari opened his eyes.
"It's not that kind of problem."
Tsuna turned to his babbling companion.
"Gokudera-kun!"
"Yes, Tenth?" Gokudare shot up, straighter than an arrow.
"I thought I told you to stop blowing up Bianchi's portraits in the Gallery!"
"The Tenth's orders are absolute! I did nothing of the sort!"
Tsuna paused to think, and so did Reborn. The latter was torn between telling his student now, to get the opinion of the Guardians, or later, so they could discuss it in private.
"Mukuro!"
"Yes, Tsunayoshi?"
"You did something perverted and were caught again, weren't you?"
"Kufufu, but I'd only do something perverted with you, Tsunayoshi."
"T-that wasn't – I meant…N-n-no…I mean – !"
The death threats pouring from Gokudera's mouth was making it known to all that Gokudera's vocabulary was so colorful, it puts the rainbow to shame. Yamamoto laughed nervously and a vein popped on the side of Hibari's forehead.
Gokudera lit his dynamites. There were no portraits of Bianchi around so it should be fine, right? It's not like he's using his superior intelligence to find a way around his Tenth's order…
BANG!
"Silence, all of you!" Reborn demanded attention. "And Gokudera, put away those dynamites!"
The explosions ceased. Mukuro halted to a stop, accusing eyes fixated on the swordsman who boldly dared to snatch his flustered Tsunayoshi from his arms. Hibari stopped chasing Mukuro and Lambo, sensing the forming gravity of whatever Reborn was about to say, devoured all the food on his platter, choking and gagging in the process, before turning his attention to Reborn. Ryohei shouted, "ATTENTION TO THE EXTREME!" before sitting down on his chair TO THE EXTREME and placing his fists on the long mahogany table TO THE EXTREME. Yamomoto plopped down next to Ryohei, placing Tsuna on his lap and earning four jealous glares.
"Tsuna," Reborn snapped. "How old are you?"
Tsuna looked at the striking 19-layer orange cake adorned with orange frosting and orange sprinkles. Yamamoto carried him on his shoulders as the cake was by far taller than him. His name was written in orange and the topmost layer held nineteen orange tunas in the act of leaping that served as birthday candles. He had to wonder why they didn't paint the whole palace orange for the occasion.
"Um…nineteen…"Tsuna's voice cracked. Oh, intuition.
"You're still single, aren't you?"
Semes, do your stuff. Cue carnivorous smirk and sheepish right-hand man grin. The center of attention himself received a pat to his back with a, "That's okay, Tsuna!". Ryohei just had to shout, "SINGLE TO THE EXTREME!" much to Tsuna's further embarrassment. Lambo choked on the food he was secretly eating. A certain illusionist waited for the stutters and laughter to die down before he spoke.
"If you only had allowed me to take you a few years prior, you wouldn't be single now. Kufufu."
Mukuro might be perverted but he was wise enough to break into a sprint as Gokudera fainted and Tsuna ran after him with one of the many and capable-of-cutting-through-flesh knives placed on the dining table. Knowing that he was at a disadvantage with his lack of stamina, Tsuna opted for throwing the knife at the fleeing Mukuro who, for the love of knife-throwing princes, was hit with the blunt end across the right cheek.
Gokudera woke up from the thump Mukuro's limp body made as it fell limp to the floor. He zoomed past the other on looking Guardians to congratulate his Tenth while he jumped up and down Mukuro's prone body. Hibari stayed in his corner, smirking at the turn of events.
The faintest trace of amusement made the depths of Reborn's eyes twinkle for a brief moment before vanishing completely.
Mukuro regained his consciousness when the incessant stomping on his back finally stopped. He knew who was going stomp-stomp on his back. With both feet. At the same time. He knew, oh yes, he did.
The Guardians turned to their Advisor.
"I'm single, Reborn. Thanks for asking."
"Reborn? What's wrong? What's the problem?"
"That's the problem."
OMAKE – Of Knife-Throwing Princes
"Vongola-peasant, this is how you should throw a knife if you aren't planning on attaching wires."
"Ah. Bel-sempai can throw knives without the strings."
Belphigor stepped behind Tsuna as he handed him one of his knives.
"Fran, a little to the left."
"But, Bel-sempai, he won't learn anything if the target gets hit on purpose."
"Shut up and move to your left, Froggy."
"Alright, Bel-sempai."
Tsuna was relieved when Belphigor agreed to teach him to throw knives but was it normal to use your own teammates for target material during practice?
"Froggy! Stay still."
"But Bel-sempai…"
"Stay still, Froggy."
"Alright Bel-sempai."
Fran stood a few meters away from them, back facing the prince and the boss who were about to back-stab him. Literally.
Belphigor rested his chin on one of Tsuna's shoulder blades, their cheeks almost touching. Wrapping an arm around the smaller male's waist, Belphigor held the hand Tsuna was using to hold the blade with his free one.
"Ushishishi…Our target is the Froggy over there so if you – ack!"
Tsuna looked behind him, hoping to get any tell-tale signs that Belphigor was still around and getting none.
"I was never good at self-study sessions…" The Decimo sighs dejectedly to himself.
–––––
"You bastard! Laying your filthy hands on the Tenth like that…Unforgivable!"
"What do you think are you doing to the prince?"
Belphigor came to the realization that he was bound by a rope with little bombs tied to it. If that wasn't bad enough, he could feel the sharp end of a trident against the back of his head, the bladed edge of a sword, a Shigure Kintoki sword, on the side of his neck and a metal tonfa pressed to his chin.
"Ushishishi… The prince is in a bad situation."
–––––
The next day, Tsuna went back to the Vaudeville owned by the Varia only to find Belphigor wrapped in bandages like a knife-throwing bed-ridden mummy in the infirmary.
So much for knife-throwing sessions.
"Ushishishi…"
I'm Single, Thanks for Asking
Is that what you'd call an omake? It's an omake, isn't it? I really don't know what I'm doing now, do I? Thanks for reading anyway. Reviews are much loved!
5/19/10