The Dance Between Love and Hatred

By Shikoku

"Shampoo, I love you," Mousse droned on, telling me what I already know and am tired of hearing about. "Why won't you go out with me?"

He must have asked me that question at least a thousand times since I met him thirteen years ago. I always answer the same way: "I won't go out with you until you defeat me in combat, Stupid Mousse. That's amazon law."

Mousse looked pained, as he always did when I tell him that, but he resolved himself. "Then I shall defeat you. I challenge you, Shampoo."

I sighed and glanced around the restaurant. Nobody was here, and my great grandmother had gone back to China for a meeting with the other elders-no doubt to talk about me and my husband problems. Now's as good a time as any to fight Mousse. I nodded and prepared to humor him.

We fight. I tested him, going easy on the blind idiot. Just as I thought, Mousse holds back. He uses only the least deadly of his weapons and pulls his punches. His behavior angers me. I fight harder, and Mousse ends up a crumpled heap on the floor-just as many times before. Each time he challenges me, it's the same. I grow tired of this.

"Mousse, I've had enough of this. You can't challenge me anymore, if you're not going to really fight!"

He's stunned at my declaration. "B-b-but Sh- Shampoo! I love you!"

"You don't know what love is, Mousse. Love is accepting a person the way they are and not trying to change them. They accept their good points and faults and loves them better for it."

"I love you the way you are, Shampoo!" He desperately tried to convince me. "I just don't want to hurt you!"

I merely shake my head. "No, you do not accept me. I'm an amazon, Mousse. The amazon laws are a part of me. You do not take the laws seriously. In a sense, you do not take me seriously, as well. I will only marry you, if you can defeat me, but you do not even try," A tear slipped down my cheek, but I barely notice it. "Didn't you ever think that I may be waiting for you to defeat me? That every time you don't, it breaks my heart?"

"Shampoo-" Mousse gasps, reaching for me, but I turn away from him.

"One more time, Mousse."

"What?"

I turned back to him looked him in the eye. I wonder briefly, could he actually see me? "You can challenge me one more time, but only if you're serious. After that I will never accept another challenge from you again, and I will marry Ranma. Don't challenge me unless you're really ready." With that, I walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Time goes by swiftly. I'm kept busy taking care of the Nekohanten, since Great grandmother was still in China. I still manage to find time to try to win Ranma, always a fun game. I don't care much for the prize, as Ranma would think I do, but an amazon can never turn down a challenge. We're all stubborn that way. Akane would have made a great amazon. Well, if she wasn't so weak...

Mousse had been very quiet since our talk. I had rarely seen him this subdued.. this silent..I barely saw him this whole week. He hasn't looked at me or talked to me during work. I must have given him a lot to think about. Oh, well, Mousse will come around. He always does.

It was closing time, exactly a week later. I was sweeping the floor, humming to myself, when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and found Mousse looking at me, intently with a determined look in his eyes. I knew at that moment, he was ready.

"Shampoo, I challenge you."

"Are you really going to take this seriously, Mousse?"

He nodded and stepped into his ready position.

I dispose of the broom and follow suit.

We stared at each other, momentarily. His expression remained determined. While mine may be considered curious, maybe a little pleased..

The moment is frozen in time. I could feel that the air was heavy with tension, only to be broken by the mark of the beginning of our fight.

Mousse charged at me. I couldn't see any weapons on him, but I knew that they were there. I waited for him to hit hard, but at the last minute, he drew back and hit me merely with his fist. He was holding back, again.

Once again, I felt the anger burn within me. I fought back with all the skill I had. He dodged most of my kicks and punches without fighting back. I suddenly know what Akane feels like when she spars with Ranma. Fighting somebody who wouldn't fight back only made me angrier.

I knew Mousse had the power to defeat me. He could hold his own against the greatest martial artists I know, Ranma, Ryoga, and the occasional super villain/martial artist that wanders into Nerema. He even saved me from that bird man on Togenkyo. Why can't he turn his skills onto me? At least once.

Mousse must have sensed my feelings, for suddenly without warning, he struck hard, kicking me in the stomach. I stumble back more in surprise than in pain. He actually hit me with full force! My heart sores as I realize that this fight may be different, after all.

He kept up his attack, taking advantage of my stunned moment. His sleeves suddenly become sharp, and I realized too late that blades were hidden inside.

I manage to back up enough to not get severed, but the knife still cut into my stomach. I ignore the pain and fight on. If Mousse was going to get serious, I was going to as well. I produced my bombari much as Akane produces her mallet and charged at him.

My weapons breech Mousse's defense. I pound on him, hitting his chest and sides. Mousse falls down; the air knocked out of him. I stand at the ready, waiting for him to get up. He doesn't. Afraid I may have killed him, I cautiously approach him. Before I got to his to his side, a hook appeared out of nowhere and caught my ankle, knocking me to the ground. Mousse disposed the hook and leaped up into the air in preparation for his hawk technique. Again, I dodged but Mousse reacted accordingly and kept up the attack.

The fight continues. Neither of us are aware of the time. It may have been minutes. It may have been hours, but my body doesn't fail me. I am still ready for anything, although my stomach still aches. At least it stopped bleeding.

Mousse and I are evenly matched. He has a strong defense and great range; while I am stronger and faster. On we fight, neither of us letting up. I wonder if we will be caught in this dance of martial arts forever. Sooner or later one of us will have to give, but who?

I've never seen Mousse so determined. Maybe I could let him- No, I'm an amazon. Although some amazons do let themselves get defeated, just so they could get married, I am not one of them. The laws are important to me. I could never defy them...Well, I did once, when I didn't kill Ranma after giving her the kiss of death. At that time, I listened to my heart, and I never regretted that decision. I thought it was because I loved him, but do I really? I know I should. He is my husband, but aren't husbands supposed to take care of their wives, be happy to see them, be devoted to them and only them, love them?

I'm not blind. I know how Ranma feels about me. I rank just below Kodachi on his least favorite fiancees list. He sees me as an annoyance, a desperate little foreign girl who has nothing better to do with her time than to chase after the Great Ranma Saotome. Hmph, but it is his arrogance that draws me to him. Winning him has become a game, a battle of wills. Ranma had become a prize to be won. Not a very good prize-I smirked, ducking under Mousse's leg that had been aimed for my head. I followed up with an uppercut, which knocked him senseless.- If you got right down to it, Ranma is the opposite of every belief the Amazon tribe represents. We believe the women to be superior to men, while Ranma treats us inferior..He refuses to take us seriously in a fight..He doesn't think we can take care of ourselves..He thinks changing into a girl is the worst fate in the world...I could go on.

He doesn't take the amazon law, seriously. He thinks it is a joke. I know he doesn't believe us to be married, that our laws hold no case over in Japan, but here Ranma is not alone. Nobody here takes us seriously-Mousse only barely dodges that punch that I put a little too much force into.- Ranma has no respect for elders, my great grandmother, his own master, his father, his teachers, his principal,...

He only cared for and respected himself. He didn't care who he stepped on to get what he wanted. Even if it's the only person he did love besides himself: Akane.

He doesn't love me, and he never will. No potions, tricks, persuading, or threats would ever change that. I've learned to accept it. Even an amazon knows when she had been defeated, although it's still hard to admit it.

Mousse threw his chains at me. I dodged and counterattacked with my bombari. He pulled out a broad sword, and we began exchanging blows. I wonder how he kept that hidden. I'm sure I'm better off not knowing.

Although there are many things that I don't like about Ranma, there are still many things I admire about him: his determination, his skill, his sense of honor, his love for the art...All of these are good qualities for a warrior. I can't help but wonder again, how can somebody be so perfect for a husband, but at the same time be impossible? How can I love and hate the same person?

It's not a new feeling for me. There are many people I love and hate at the same time. Mousse is one of the chief ones. I hate how he's always bugging me, his whining voice, how he's always there...but I know that if he wasn't there, I'd be lost without him. He was the only friend I had in a village of jealous peers. How he has always been there when I needed him, whether I wanted it or not,.. how he loves me, and I love him, deep inside of me in a part of myself I hide from the world.

It's funny. I don't know when I realized that part of me was there, but it made itself known in many forms: every time he was hurt when we were children together, when the other children made fun of him because he couldn't see, when he would always try to fight for me or stick up for me, when he wouldn't give up on that fight with Ranma after he returned to Japan with a duck curse, how he almost killed himself to save me on Togenkyo... Each time, I realized my true feelings for him but pushed them down deep within me. I vowed never to let them out or let on that they existed.

I did dwell on the idea of letting him defeat me. In my heart I don't even care about that part of being an amazon...but something always held me back. Pride, I guess, but also something more..I just want to see if he would do that for me. I want to know for sure if he really loves me, even enough to hurt me if I so wish it.

I only manage to dodge the knife projectiles by a hair, but one got passed my defense and grazed my cheek, drawing blood. I gasped, realizing my thoughts had distracted me from the fight. I gritted my teeth, vowing to pay attention.

Mousse hesitated but continued the fight. I know this is hard for him, and I love him more for it.. I strike with a punch kick combo. He managed to block my punches, but one kick connected with his chin. He fell backwards but rolled with it, landing back on his feet. I decided to strike from above while he's disoriented. I dove on him ; my fist ready to strike. Suddenly, from out of his sleeve, he threw a steel ball attached to a chain. I dodge again, but it threw me off target. I hit the floor beside him, putting a dent in the floor. I look up, and there's Mousse lunging at me with more blades in his sleeves. How many of those does he have, anyway? I blocked with my bombari. The blades cut gashes into my mace, but they prove strong and hold. I lashed out with a kick that hit Mousse where it hurts. In obvious pain, he doubled over clutching his manhood. Watching this, I took the opportunity to kick him in the head. Again, he stumbled back but quickly pulled himself together. Faster than I could follow, he roundhouse kicked me in the head. I managed to recover, but I saw twelve Mousses dancing in front of me. I shook them off and charged again. He stepped aside my bombari and delivered a side kick, knocking me back. I wondered if he had finally ran out of weapons. But suddenly, something impacted with the back of my head...and everything... went...black

I woke up sometime later. My dreams had been full of red-haired, pigtailed girls and dopey, blind ducks, with an occasional pink cat thrown in. Groggily, I sat up. A sharp pain rushed through my body, and I realized that my head was throbbing. I looked around feeling a bit dazed, when I glanced up and saw Mousse's ball and chain, hanging from the rafters. When he had kicked me away from him, I must have hit my head against the steel ball. Briefly, I wondered if that had been planned, or if it had been a coincidence. It didn't matter. What mattered was that he finally beat me..He beat me! I couldn't help but smile, as joy that I haven't felt for a long time filled my being. I've finally found a husband, a real husband. And he was somebody that actually cared for me.

But where is my husband?

I glanced around the room but found it empty. Worried, I quickly stood up..only to fall back down again out of dizziness. Remembering that my head hurt, I patted my forehead, tenderly, realizing that it was covered with bandages. Mousse must have taken care of my wounds. More determined than ever, I stood up again and managed to stay up. I began to search the Nekohanten to find him. Finally, my search went upstairs, and I found him in his room. He sat on the small space, that was his floor. His back was to me, and I realized that he was sobbing. My best friend, my husband, my Mousse was crying for me.

He loved me so much, that it hurt him to hurt me, but he did it anyway, to please me. I was floored by the love he had for me, and all at once the love I had for him broke loose. I was filled with it. I felt it flowing through my veins. I loved him. It amazed me so much, but it was true. I loved that dopey, blind duck. Now it was time to tell him.

Quietly, I sneaked up behind him, only revealing my presence when I wrapped my arms around his neck in embrace. He stiffened for a second- probably thinking I was about to rip his head off- but then he relaxed, leaning against me. I smiled and gently kissed him on the cheek. His eyes grew bigger than my great grandmother's. He looked up at me with shock mixed with excitement. "Sh-Sha-Shampoo!"

I smiled in answer, only whispering in his ears: "Wo ai ni, woda airon. What took you so long?"

The End

Author's notes: What can I say? I've always liked the Mousse/Shampoo pairing. I also like to think that Shampoo loves Mousse but either can't show it or doesn't know it.

I'd also like to think that Shampoo can speak and think in proper Chinese.

Wednesday, July 28, 1999