Disclaimer: I don't own Megas XLR, Jody Schaeffer and George Krstic do.
Note: I was stoned when I wrote this, so don't expect anything even remotely intelligent.
Our beloved trio was in their infamous robot, fighting villains from afar again. All of them acting their usual way: Kiva was trying to impress someone with her unlimited knowledge, Jamie was altering between commenting on everything and being scared to death and Coop was just enjoying himself.
As the final piece of enemy's mech was sent in some unknown direction by Megas' metal boot, Coop and Jamie went through their usual fist bumping and Rock On sign routine. Which wouldn't be complete without Jamie saying "Nice" and Coop saying something about going home to get some food.
So they returned to Jersey, but on their way back Coop "accidentally" hit the Pop TV building with a missile. He chuckled and said: "Oops."
"You know Coop, you're only supposed to say oops when you didn't do it on purpose…" commented Jamie, slightly amused.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Non-oops than."
"Non-oops! You're such a dork!"
Kiva was watching their dialogue with a slight smile on her face. She had stopped thinking about those two as a "primitive yahoo and his pet monkey thing" a very long time ago. She was now considering them her best friends, even. She had found out that it's actually a lot of fun to hang out with these two crazy guys. And her biggest newfound hobby was to tease Coop, but she only did that when she was in a playful mood. Which she was right now.
"Hey Coop, do you know what they say about guys who like to drive big strong cars?" she entered their, ehm, very sophisticated discussion.
"What?"
"That they like it because they need a compensation for some of their physical insufficiencies. Megas is a big strong ROBOT and you seem to enjoy driving it WAY too much...so…"
"Do I look "insufficient" to you?" he replied with a smile, gesturing to his big body. That made Jamie laugh at his friend's slow-wittedness.
"That's not what I mean. Insufficient in matters of…eh…masculinity." she corrected herself, trying not to laugh at him too.
"Like I'm feminine! No way! I haven't showered for a week! I'm perfectly masculine!" By now, Jamie was nearly dying of laughter.
"Physical masculinity, Coop!" this time she couldn't keep a straight face.
Coop was just staring at her for about two minutes and then the realization hit him and he shouted:
"Are you saying that my dick is small!"
That was all it took for Kiva and Jamie to burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. After they calmed down a bit (which took quite a long time), Coop tried to defend himself:
"It's not small, okay?"
"Yeah right." replied Kiva while she was wiping away the tears of laughter
"Hey, MY DICK ISN'T SMALL!" he tried once again
"It is!" she opposed, childishly
"Is not!"
"Is, too!"
"Hey Jamie, tell her something!"
"Something." said Jamie, still laughing.
"Aaaah, you know what I mean! Tell her my dick isn't small!"
"Ok, it's big!"
"Like I'd believe you." Kiva replied to Jamie
"You should." he shot back
"And how would YOU know?" she asked, thinking that she got him.
"He knows." said Coop with a sly smile.
Kiva was starting to get kinda confused by now.
"Hey, what's going on?" The boys just laughed and didn't reply.
"WHAT!" she asked, now almost desperate to know.
"Nothing Kiva. Absolutely nothing." Coop answered, satisfied. He got her.
"Ok then. But I still think that you ARE physically insufficient." she said.
"Am not."
"Are too."
And they would go on like this forever if it wasn't for everybody's favourite Jamie:
"Oh boy, here we go again. You can stop now kids. He really IS..um…well-equipped, Kiva, deal with it."
"You know Jamie, I still somehow don't believe you. How would you know this kind of stuff?"
"Don't ask." he replied with a warning smile.
"Well, I DO ask!"
And with that, Coop and Jamie looked at each other, nodded and then they kissed. It was a long, deep kiss, with lots of tongue, partly to freak Kiva out and partly because they were both a bit horny from all that dick talk.
When they pulled away from each other, they turned their heads to look at Kiva. Her expression was priceless: mix of shock, disgust and amusement. But mostly shock. After a while she managed to stutter:
"Y-you…him…aaah, that's too much, let's just go home okay?"
And so they went home. The boys were happy that they outplayed Kiva in her own game and Kiva was thinking that there actually WAS something about the curiosity killing a cat thing…
THE END
NOTE: So I hope you liked it…or at least didn't totally hate it. Anyway, Kiva's teasing was inspired by my everyday conversations with my male friends (hmm, like you needed to know that :D )