Rachel paced around her room, tears streaming down her face; 5:30am. It's been two months since she and Santana broke up; and she's broken. No one has even seen her so hurt and down before. She comes home from school and goes straight up to her room, finishes her homework and goes to bed. Simple as that. The thing is; she's the one who ended the relationship. Rachel thought Santana needed the freedom, and that she didn't want to be with Rachel anymore.
But Rachel knows one thing for sure; she's going to apologize today in glee club. And hopefully win her girl back.
Wiping her tears, she looks through her iTunes, and flips through her songbook, finally finding the right song. Smiling, and sniffling, and lets out a giggle. "Please… let this work…"
After all of her classes, Rachel finally makes it to glee club, spotting her beautiful ex-girlfriend in the front row where they used to sit together; holding hands, giggling and cuddling. Rachel sighs and goes to take a seat in the back.
"Hey guys! Like any other day, does anyone have a song they'd like to sing, to start us off for today?" Mr. Schue asked the show choir, sitting down in his chair.
As the small brunette's hand shot up in the air, Mr. Schue smiled. "Alright. Come on up here, Rachel!"
Gulping, Rachel trotted up to the front and nodded at the band, and the music started to play.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
Rachel looked at the glee club members, refusing to look at Santana yet.
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
Rachel knew cheerios practice always worked the girl super hard. Rachel never liked it. She liked when Santana was fully rested. Ever since they broke up, she guard has been up, not letting it down, never letting anyone get past her and break her heart again. Rachel just felt horrible.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
Rachel still remembers the day she broke up with Santana. Santana showed up at her door step with roses. Rachel only took them, broke up with her, with tears, and tossed them to the side once the Latina was gone.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
As the days inched closer to Santana's birthday, all Rachel wanted to do was call her. But she knew it would have been awkward. She only wanted to tell her happy birthday… and that she loved her.
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
They were the best of friends. Always going placing together. Rachel's hair would flow in the wind, and she would look and see Santana's beautiful face; the time she knew she fell in love with her best friend.
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye
Rachel still regrets it. She never wishes she broke up with Santana. She was the best thing that ever happened to the girl.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
Rachel looks up, tears falling down her cheeks. She meets Santana's eyes and sings the next verse of the song.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time
Finishing up the song, Rachel wipes her tears and the whole room is silent. Not even a cricket was heard.
"Is this true…?" Santana spoke.
Rachel's head snapped up and she nodded. "Uh huh.. Yeah.."
Santana stood up and walked over to the short girl, a finger under her chin, bringing her chin up to meet their eyes. "I love you Rachel. I will always forgive you… no matter what." She said, tears streaming down her face, before touching their lips together in a deep kiss, only filled with the love they'd been missing for the past two months.
"I love you too, Santana… I always will…"