Summary: My name was Clary Fray, now I am known as Clary Morgensetrn. Now, I know I am a Shadowhunter, and with the war we are fighting against my brother, I have had to lose this part of me yet again. My name is Clary, and this is the story of how I lost everything.

Words: 2,414

Chapter 1 - If I Die Young

Growing up, I never really completely fit in. My mom and I lived in New Your City for as long as I could remember. I can't say I didn't like it or did. It was pretty natural. I always had my best friend, Simon. He and I met in kindergarten. I told him I likes his Star Wars lunch box, and we have been friends since. Everything seemed normal, but everything was anything but.

I didn't know how different I was until my father, Valentine, had come to take back his family. I didn't know he was my father. Mom had a picture of a soldier, and ivory hair in a box. She told me it belonged to Jonathan Fray, and that he was my father. She said he dies in a war when I was a baby, I of course believed her. When Valentine came back, my mother took a sleeping potion so he couldn't get any information out of her. I didn't know what was going on, and I was beginning to see things.

A boy, named Jace, had found me after I had seen him kill another boy with blue hair the night before. I didn't know that the boy was a demon, or that Jace, and the other two people he was with were demon hunters called Shadowhunter's. He found me in a coffee shop with Simon, but Simon couldn't see him there or the night before. I went outside to get some breath. I was beginning to think I was hallucinating. Jace was talking to me when mom had called me, she was panicking and I ran back to our apartment to get her. The apartment was destroyed and my mother was missing. A demon was there, and I was thankful Jace had followed me because he saved me from the demon. I tried to get to Luke, and that was the day I found out Luke was a former Shadowhunter, and was now a werewolf.

He took me hack to the Institute, and I met Hodge. He informed me I was a Shadowhunter like my mom once was. Alec and Isabelle Lightwood, along with Jace and Hodge, trained me to be a Shadowhunter, and taught me the history of Shadowhunter's. We discovered there was a block in my head and We went to the warlock who had put it there, Magnus Bane. Apparently he had been putting blocks in my head my whole life, at my moms command, to prevent me from seeing the shadow world.

Jace and I had kissed, but when Simon had walked out of my room from the infirmary, Jace thought we were together. It made the friendship harder. We both liked each other, too. We later discovered that Valentine was after a cup called the mortal cup, one of three mortal instruments, and he wanted to create a new race of Shadowhunter's. My mom had hidden it from him, and my new friends and I had to find it. I found it in paper, and when I pulled it out, that only made the mission more dangerous. Valentine was persistent in getting the cup. Hodge ended up giving it to him out of fear, and Hodge was a former follower of Valentines. Jace and Valentine fought each other over it, and Valentine tried to take me with him. He said he had my mom, and he also said Jace was my brother.

That news was horrible, but When all the pieces clicked together, there was nothing I could do. Jace said he still loved me, but I said he couldn't. I wasn't comfortable dating my brother. All things considered, I did still love him, though. As hard as I tried, I couldn't get mom back from Valentine, but that was only another part of my troubles. Simon had become a vampire. In another battle against Valentine, Jace had given Simon some of his blood. This blood made Simon a daylighter, meaning he could walk in the sun. No other vampire had this power, and that made him very valuable.

After the battle, we were told to got to Alicante for questioning. Jace refused to let me go with them, so he left without me. Filled with fury, I actually made a rune to allow me to teleport to the city of glass. Luke followed me, however, and we took shelter at his sister, Amatis' house. I managed to climb out a window, and enter the city. I went straight to where the Lightwood's and Jace were. The door was opened by Isabelle, and she was not happy to see me. I managed to get around her, but was stopped by a boy named Sebastian Varlac. Had I not met him in the way I had, I may have flirted with him like he did me. I eventually got upstairs to find another girl in Jace's arms, and it looked like they were making out. I was jealous and furious. I knew that I couldn't have him, but I didn't want anyone else to either. He told me I was weak, and I ran out the house. Sebastian followed me, and walked me back to Amatis' house. I told him that I was looking for a way to cure my mom, and he promised me he would help.

The next day, He rescued me from the house, and we rode horseback to a warlock's house. The warlock, however, was not the one we were looking for, but was Magnus pretending to be him. Sebastian didn't know him, but was furious that he wouldn't help me get back mom. Magnus froze him, and told me to look in a cooking book at the Wayland manor. Magnus unfroze Sebastian, and I took him there. We found it, and he even kissed me. It was when I kissed him back that I knew it was wrong, yet I still liked it. I stopped the kiss, and we rode back to town, but a battle had begun and the demon towers were not working. Mom had woken up, too.

Sebastian practically begged me to go with him, but Jace got jealous and wouldn't let me go. That was when Sebastian revealed to me that he was my brother, not Jace. In fury of me not going back with him, he killed Isabelle and Alec's younger brother, Max. Jace and I figured out that Valentine had gone back to Lake Lynn in attempt to create the new Shadowhunter race. Jace and I went to fight him, but he put a rune on me that made me immobile. He told me that Jace wasn't actually my brother, but he did raise him. Valentine had hilled his real father, Stephen Herondale. and Sebastian was really my brother. Jace fought him, but was killed. When the rune wore off, I fought Valentine, and I killed him. The Angel Raziel granted me one wish. I wished for Jace to come back, and he did. The same night, we got back together.

A few more months went by, and Jace was captured be Sebastian, but something wasn't right with him. Sebastian had placed a rune on him that would make him more loyal to him. It also made each of them feel what the other was feeling, and were telepathic. It allowed Sebastian to control his mind. I was offered a choice to either stay with Isabelle, or go with Sebastian and Jace. I chose to go with Sebastian and Jace to make sure he was safe. In those few weeks on us being together, Sebastian and I had gotten closer and began to trust each other more. I still knew what he was doing was wrong. He believed in the same things as our father, Valentine, but he believed demons were good too since he was half demon.

One night we were going to have a celebration, and he was going to have shadowhunter's, and human alike, drink from the mortal cup and be turned into had demon, half shadowhunter. I didn't like this, but he said I would drink from the cup too. Before Sebastian and I went to the ceremony to join Jace, who was preparing it, he gave me my mothers old dress, and when I put it on, I felt pretty. I guess Sebastian did too, because he kissed me and tried to rape me. Thankfully we had to go, so we went. Jace had felt the violence side of it, and when I told him what happened, he didn't care. My Jace would have cared, but this one was loyal to Sebastian. When the shadowhunter's showed up, I was given a heavenly knife. I stayed it into Jace's rune, which bound him to Sebastian, when we were fighting, and him and Sebastian lit on fire. Both survived, and the rune was broken. Sebastian escaped, but Jace and I were almost reunited. I say almost because the heavenly fire was in him, and we could't tough because we would burn.

The night we arrived at the institute, a note was put on the door saying He was coming back. It was Sebastian, and that's where we are now. the leaders of the Shadowhunter world, have decided to banish me from here. They believe I am too powerful, and Sebastian is too close to getting me. They think I'm a danger and a fish, so they are putting a block in my head. I protested as did my new family, but we failed. Magnus is about to put a block in my head that will cause me to forget everything I know about the Shadow world. I'm now saying my goodbyes.

"I'm going to miss you," says Alec hugging me.

"I'm oddly going to miss you, too." I say. "I know you and Magnus just broke up, and you may feel broken, but I know you'll find the perfect person for you. I know we didn't get along in the beginning, but we do now, and I need you to take care of everyone." I finish pulling out of the hug.

"Of course," he says running a hand through his black hair. Next was Isabelle.

"Clary, what am I going to do without you? I loved having another girl here, and I'm really going to miss you." She says through tears.

"You'll get through this, you always do. I want you to have this," I say pulling a necklace, with a silver wolf pennant on it, over my head, and putting it around hers. "Don't forget me, ever." I say hugging her one last time while crying.

"How could I?" She asks rhetorically through her own tears. The next person was Simon.

"You were my best friend." He says already crying.

"And you were mine." I say and hug him. "This isn't goodbye, I know it isn't, but don't tell the others. I don't thing they can handle false hope." I pull out of the hug, and grab Isabelle's hand, and put it in Simons. "Be strong together." I say, and Simon pulls her into a hug.

The last person in line is Jace. He sits in the hospital chair, and looks at the ground. I pull up his chin, but kneel down too. I look in his eyes, and I don't quite know what to say. I can tell he doesn't know what else to say either so he just kisses me goodbye.

"How am I going to survive without you?" He asks.

"You have before," I tell him.

"But not like this," he says.

"Clary, it's time." Says Magnus from the hospital room doorway. I look back at Jace getting up and tell him my last thought's.

"I love you, never forget that. Be brave, Jace. The first time is always the hardest." I let go of his hand, and when I enter the room, 223, I don't look back. I don't want their last image of me to be of me crying. I sit down in the bed, and I just cry.

"I'm so sorry, Clary. I didn't want to do this." Magnus says to me.

"I know." I say.

"I want you know that I always thought of you as my niece. I had never gotten a chance to watch someone grow up like I did with you. You were my family even is you didn't know it." These words only makes me cry harder.

"I always thought of you as mine too." I said.

"Thank you. I have to tell you something about this block. It won't be like the last on I put on you. It will fade quicker so I will see you every two months to renew it. You also should know that the sight of anything in the shadow world could kill you. There is nothing I could do about this." He says.

"Ok," is all I could say.

"Lay back, and think of happy thought's. We are doing this to save you, not torture you. This will keep you safe from Sebastian Morgenstern. That is the silver lining of this situation. Goodbye, Clary." he says and kisses the top of my head. He whispers an enchantment and circles his hands over my head and heart. Just as it was all about to leave, Jace come's in and holds my hand.

"Clary," he says.

"Jace," I say, then all goes black.

I could almost hear him say, "I love you, too."

Disclamer: I do not own "The Mortal Instruments", or it's characters. I am only using them for a little while, they actually being to Cassie Clare. I also do not own the song "If I Die Young", I just want my titles to come from song lyrics.