I'm giving up! If Blaine wants me to be romantically linked with him then he will have to do something about it. Because it's not meant to be, it's too cliche (I mean, I fall in love with the first gay guy I meet?), and he doesn't even like me like that! For heaven's sakes, I can't even look at him without staring or melting or forgetting where I am! And no one knows why I thought I had chances at two straight guys and not the only other gay guy I know. But that's fate huh? Just my luck. You know what? There's someone out there for everyone, I shouldn't sweat it. Yet here I am, still freaking out over my best friend whom I happen to be madly in love with. Maybe it's a process. I fell for Finn, straight guy, doesn't return feelings. I fell for Sam, straight guy whom I thought was gay, doesn't return feelings. I fell for Blaine, gay guy, doesn't return feelings. I will now fall for a gay guy who DOES return the feelings. I just have to distance myself. He can't suspect anything though. I'll just do all the things the guys do. Fist bumps, high fives, short hugs, and absolutely NO hand holding.
Everyone says we are meant to be and that he fell for me too, but I know that's all just cliche bullshit. When he comes to me, and asks for us to be more than friends I'll be sure. And I couldn't believe that he compared himself to Finn.
'Just overprotective and wanting to help'? What the hell is that? But I can't stop comparing him to Finn. Both just beyond my reach, both didn't/don't like me that way. A few differences in situation gay/straight, single/dating, etc. Why do I have to be such a helpless romantic? I'm so stupid! Falling for Finn, Sam and then Blaine should have made me tough. Alas, it didn't. I guess I'll just, go sing some really stupid, sappy, horrible-yet-wonderful love song and try my darndest (ew, bad adjective) to get over him. Maybe I'll talk to Mercedes, she seems to know what to do. But I'm done. No more plots trying to get him to see me in a different light. The light he sees me in now is the only one he'll ever see. But I think I've found my New Year's Resolution.
That was Kurt's New Year's Resolution. Stop trying so hard to get with Blaine.