JON'S POV

Slowly, very slowly, I thought to myself. Of course, we weren't allowed to talk. The door in front of me opened. I hadn't really thought about the Ordeal much. I figured it was nothing to worry about. They would pass me anyway. I'm the Prince for Pete's sake! It would shame Tortall if I weren't made a knight. But this was something different. Actually being there, ya know? It was something that makes you think you were never coming out of there alive.

So there I was right? I couldn't hear anything at that moment, just the faint sound of my friends in the background, cheering me on. As if that could help. I turned to look at them. I thought maybe that was the last I time I would see the lot. Alanna captured my gaze. Bless her pretty soul. She gave me a half beaming and half worried look. All for little ol' Johnny, I have to say I was touched.

I wanted to run to them. I wish I was with them, not here, and I was cheering for a pathetic squire. But right now I'm the pathetic squire. The sight looked so happy and comforting. Unlike what was ahead of me, unfortunately. I had to go in there. So I gave them a little smile, and set off to the darkness.

I scanned my thoughts as the light disappeared. What am I afraid of? Nothing really. That gave me a little hope. I'll laugh at anything and everything they throw at me. As I was starting to feel a little better and beginning to grow confidence a figured appear before me. It was my father, the King. Oh. I'm not afraid of my father.

Then, you know what I saw? I saw myself, years after. I STILL look good.. hehe. How do I do it?

"Jonathan," my father told the older me. "I'm afraid—I'm afraid you.. can't be king.."

I was going to shriek at my father. I was going to tell him: WHY CAN'T I BE KING YOU OLD GEEZER!??!? WHY?? Then I remembered we weren't allowed to talk. Oh. The future-hot me started speaking.

"WHY CAN'T I BE KING YOU OLD GEEZER!??!?" he shrieked. "WHY??"

Cool. Hehe.

"Because, uuh—son," he stammered. "I—understand that—uhm.."

SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!

"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

Cool.

"Never.. in all the years.. of Tortall's—monarchy have we.. ever.. had.. a.. king.. that is.."

WHAT WHAT WHAT!??!

"WHAT WHAT WHAT!??!"

"Gay."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I passed out after that. A gentle breeze woke me. I was once in an empty room again. I was pale and sweaty. I felt like a part of me died. I felt like I've never been happy, and never would, ever again. NO ONE CAN KNOW.

Emerging from the Chamber, I saw Alanna. She was smiling again. This time, it was a relieved smile. I smiled back, then frowned. Did I look queer?

I can't wait till she becomes a knight and tells everyone she's a girl. People may catch us and think I'm—I'm—ugh. I can't say it.

Now if I can just do something with my obsession with—

JONATHAN: PATCH!!

PATCH: Wha—what?

JONATHAN: How could you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

PATCH: Uhm.. uhm.. (batts eyelashes: seductively) I love you??

JONATHAN: (hissing) that's not gonna work this time