The Best Friend I Never Had

Have you ever had a dream so pleasant you don't want to realize it's a dream, much less wake up from it?

I had this experience many times as a young child, when I dreamed of being with the fairies I loved so much, and woke up to being a chore girl who worked for the guild to pay off the debt I inherited from my parents. The other was a dream that lasted seven years, of my first friend, the best friend I never had.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born to two members of the Red Lizard guild, who died deep in debt, resulting in my having to work for the guild to pay it off. My inability to do magic severely limited the duties I could do, meaning that I couldn't go out with the others on the more lucrative and dangerous assignments. My parents' debt essentially meant I was little more than a slave; there because of my parents' debt, rather than because I had earned the right to call myself a member.

I was also by far the youngest member; only Zeira was my age, but given her status as the master's daughter, she didn't think for a moment that we were equals. While I subsisted on the food and clothing they deigned to give to me, Zeira had anything she desired. Some would think her terribly spoiled, and while I couldn't deny that she was, I also believed she had yet to truly experience loss, which would teach her what was important to her.

So as you can see, even at my most optimistic, the best I could say about the situation was that I had everything that I needed to live until I found the fairies. In spite of that, I was grateful for what I had... in spite of the fact that I never imagined that I would soon lose even this.

Eventually, a rival guild, known as Blue Skull, attacked us. The adults fought back, but were outmatched. It was clear now, more than ever, that I was of no use to them as far as combat went, so I now knew what I needed to do in order to survive and not get in the others' way. I fled, and searched for any non-combatants I could take with me.

Zeira was the only survivor I was able to find who wasn't locked in combat, and even she was in bad shape. I had to pull her out of the rubble so that she could escape. But while she could run at a somewhat decent clip, she clearly did not want to go anywhere I did not make her go.

Zeira was understandably hesitant to leave her home, her family and her possessions behind, and I sympathized. Having lost my parents, lived as a debtor and having few things of my own, I cherished what I had all the more. But I still kept to my parents' teachings, and believed that all those things were in my heart.

When I said this to Zeira in turn, she, surprisingly enough, accepted it. Perhaps it helped her to understand why my spirits were so high even when life was hard for me. Perhaps it would be a lesson that would help her keep going in the future, which would undoubtedly be full of hardship for her as an orphan girl, exacerbated by the fact that Zera had lived in privilege until then.

Inspired by a mixture of gratitude and guilt, Zeira began to realize that the way she had treated me was by no means appropriate, even if I had not saved her life, so she apologized for her words and actions toward me. As I was hoping to hear that all along, I immediately and reflexively offered my forgiveness. When she asked if we could be friends, I said yes just as quickly.

But as I said it, I turned around and saw that Zeira had collapsed, and for the longest time, didn't respond to anything I said. Even my attempts at non-magical first aid seemed to do nothing, so when I exhausted all possible efforts, I began to despair.

Fearing the worst, I ventured into town to look for help, only to find that there was no one alive, and the town was covered in the stench of death. I was hoping to find someone, unwilling to accept that I would be the only one alive on this island, or that everyone I knew was gone, just like my parents were. As my search for survivors turned out to be in vain, I desperately hoped Zeira would pull through.

Some time later, Zeira came back to me, somehow having come to and recovered from her wounds. We went out to confirm that the Blue Skull invasion force had left, and once they had, we went in search of food and shelter. We managed to find some food that looked somewhat edible, although Zeira didn't seem to want to eat it, for some reason. We took shelter in the library, one of the few buildings that had not been damaged; either Blue Skull didn't want to risk damaging a trove of information, or they didn't think it was necessary after they got what they came for.

Survival, as an ever-present need, does help put all other needs into perspective. As we took shelter in the library and ate what we could find, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Similarly, our purpose in staying there changed over time; at the start, we were waiting for someone to come find us and take us off the island, but over time, we began to make a life in the ruins and abandoned buildings of Tenrou Island.

Such was our life on the island. We foraged for food, we read in the library and we never saw anyone but each other. Perhaps we were brought together out of necessity, and the fact that we had no one else to talk with, but we were the only people who understood what it was like to lose everyone we knew and live in solitude. If the day came when we were able to leave the island and find other people, we would go toward it together.

Seven years passed, and some treasure hunters- Yuriy Dreyar, Precht Gaebolg and Warrod Seeken- came to the island, in search of the Tenrou Jade. When I first met Yuriy, his ulterior motive became quite obvious the moment his poorly thought out cover story fell apart, so I tried to get him to leave by challenging him to a battle of wits. I won, but it all turned out to be a moot point, though; I knew that the Tenrou Jade was gone, and Precht and Warrod had informed him of what had happened. Still; we worked out an arrangement; they would take the two of us off the island, we would help them recover the Tenrou Jade, and they would help us see the fairies. Some would describe Yuriy and the others as pragmatic at best and selfish opportunists at worst, but as far as relationships based on mutual need went, this was much better than my relationship with my old guild, so I eagerly accepted, and brought Zeira along.

As happy as I was to meet new people, a part of me grew worried, as Zeira had not managed to integrate herself into the group. It seemed she was mainly involved through her association with me, and no one was ever listening to her. Since she was one of the few other people who truly knew what it was like to be alone (the other being the Black Wizard, Zeref, but how I met him is another story), I hoped that she would come to see the others as friends, just as I had. I had no desire for her to be ostracized, as I once was, but none of my efforts to rectify the situation proved effective; little did I realize that I misunderstood the nature of the problem itself.

We eventually defeated Blue Skull and found the Tenrou Jade, which, in turn, led to its own share of problems. Thankfully, with the help of a spell that I had learned from our encounter with Zeref, I was able to save Yuriy, but at a significant cost; because I used the incomplete Law, my body would no longer mature. That was a price I was willing to pay to save one of my new friends; perhaps that would be something I would have to live with for the rest of my life, but so would knowing that I let him die in spite of my being able to save him.

After Yuriy woke up, he came to me, and gave me apologies, thanks and a confession about Zeira, now that he and I could consider each other friends. In the latter case, he revealed that he could not see or hear her, and neither could Precht or Warren. She was an illusion, one only visible to me, and one that I had created without knowing it, which fooled myself. Once I realized this, there was no going back; I could not once again deceive myself into believing that she was still alive, and, because of the way this unique illusion worked, I could never re-create her.

I was completely unable to accept this, which I've heard is the first stage of the loss. In some regards, this was worse. Not only would she soon fade, but all seven years of my memories with her were false. I knew that everyone I held dear lived on in my heart, but could I say Zeira had ever been part of mine? Everything she said to me was based on things I knew. Perhaps all this was just as how I had imagined Zeira to be, not who she really was, or would have been, had she lived. The simple truth was that after asking me to be friends, she had collapsed and died, possibly without ever hearing my response. She was the friend that I wanted to have, not necessarily one I would have had, and all our memories were essentially fiction of my creation.

There was one thing I was certain about, however; I did not want Zeira, illusion or not, to leave me. In hindsight, here was little point in summoning her again if I knew her to be imaginary, Yuriy's explanation about how the illusion worked notwithstanding, but at the time, I was desperate to do anything to keep Zeira from vanishing.

But then the illusion of Zeira did something I never expected. She pleaded with me to give up on her, so that I could reduce the strain on my body, and move forward. She reminded me of what I had always taught her, saying that she would live on in my heart, along with the fairies, and apologized once more for her previous immaturity. With one final promise to always be friends, and a request to Yuriy to watch over me, Zeira disappeared once and for all.

Perhaps Zeira had died seven years ago, on Tenrou Island. On the other hand I believe there was something of the real Zeira in the illusion I subconsciously summoned, since the last words. Furthermore, I know that the last words out of Zeira's mouth- both in life and as an illusion- expressed the desire for us to be friends. Those were her hopes for the future she never had, but they were not in vain. Because of her companionship, I was able to keep going alone on Tenrou Island all these years, and because of her encouragement, I will be able to move forward, together with my new friends. For that reason, Zeira lives on in my heart along with my parents and other cherished people; she may have been an illusion, but the fact that I am here where I am because of her why she's a real enough friend for me.

Omake:

Many years later, my thoughts wandered back to that event during the grand ball to celebrate our thwarting the dragon invasion. It was hardly a victory, as not even the Dragon Slayers had killed any dragons, but to my knowledge, everyone had survived, thanks to an inexplicable miracle that gave us premonition at a critical moment. So for the moment, the former rivals in the Grand Magic Games who fought side by side against the dragons celebrated the occasion.

Wendy Marvell, one of the youngest and newest members of the guild, was talking with Chelia Blendy, a new friend of hers from Lamia Scale. Chelia was also one of her opponents in the Grand Magic Games, as they faced each other in a one-on-one battle that ended in a draw, in spite of the fact that most people predicted that Chelia would prevail. Since Chelia was not of our guild, she could not see me, and to her, Wendy was talking to thin air.

I had heard a little about Wendy's past, so I realized that this was likely somewhat familiar to her. She had been part of a guild called Cait Shelter, and although the circumstances were different, her guildmates had been as imaginary as Zeira had been after her death. Apparently, the guild master, an old man of the Nirvit Tribe known as Robaul, had been real, but he had disappeared with the rest. But once her illusionary companions vanished, Fairy Tail came into her life, and was a large and prosperous guild. She, like I had long ago, had come a long way as a mage and a person since then; excluding the time spent in suspended animation, she was roughly the same age as I was when I left Tenrou Island. While she was initially shy and timid, she had grown more courageous and a better fighter over time, even helping fight alongside her friends against Precht. She was a far cry from the person Jellal had left with Cait Shelter, just as I had come a long way since I fled Blue Skull's attack with the dying Zeira.

This time, my role had changed, and I was now the illusion that could not interact with the real world. As such, I left Wendy to her own devices, and to her friends inside and outside the guild. She and the other young members of the guild would have many challenges ahead of them, but I was confident they could face them, and carry the guild that I founded into the future.

Author's Notes

Thank you for reading this fic.

I was inspired to read this after reading Fairy Tail Zero, as a way of exploring what impact the realization that Zeira was an illusion had on Mavis. I personally wanted to capture what she was feeling at the time, and how it retroactively recolored her memories of her time with Zeira

I included the omake because of the similarities between Wendy and Mavis' situations.