It was a clear night in June. Naruto remembered it vividly. The song Space Bound by Eminem was playing on his pink iPod. "I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon and I'm aiming right at you, right at you. 250,000 miles on a clear night in June..." Naruto sung lightly to himself, looking up at the moon. The blonde-haired queer felt his heart clench painfully. Why was love so complicated? Why couldn't his one love with the chicken ass hair love him back? Why couldn't he let him pound the absolute fuck out of his asian ass?

He was walking around the block, lost in thought. It had to be at least 3 AM. He wanted to be with Sasuke, but he wasn't sure that Sasuke felt the same way. I mean, Sasuke sent him mixed signals. It was just so confusing. Naruto's vision suddenly became blurry, suddenly realizing tears were forming in the corner of his eyes.

"Okay," Naruto mumbled to himself, pulling his iPod out. "Maybe I should change it to a happier song."

He turned it to Wobble Wobble by V.I.C. and his mood instantly changed. The teen suddenly felt the need to dance like a little faggot in the middle of the street, so he did. He bended down to touch his toes and glided like a queer on crack. Naruto felt his confidence build-up as he did some wicked moves in the dark streets of Konoha. He didn't care if anyone thought he was crazy. They could go jump on Tsunade's dick.

After the song ended, he was covered in sweat, and his make-up was messy. But, he didn't care. He felt like a million dollars. He had to confess his love for Sasuke! He had to! Especially since he was motivated. Naruto knew it was 3 AM and Sasuke was most likely asleep, but this couldn't wait! He blushed at the thought of Sasuke's sexy face staring at him while he was sexually teasing him.

Naruto dashed down the street like a black person running from the cops. He didn't stop running until he made it to the last house on the left, which was Sasuke's. The raven-haired male kept his yard perfect 24/7. His house was painted by Sai; the color was a light pink. Sasuke was going for "A Barbie Dream House" but ended up with just a queer pink house. Oh, well. It still looked nice. To Sasuke, anyway. All the other kids in the neighborhood would poop on Sasuke's lawn, leaving the dark-haired man to clean it up day after day after day. Naruto actually felt sorry for the emo.

Naruto walked up the steps of his front-porch, breathing in deeply before knocking on the door.

"This is it!" Naruto whispered, butterflies in his stomach.

After several moments of nothing, Naruto knocked again, even harder. The blonde suddenly screeched, "What if Sasuke isn't home?"

Naruto continued pounding on the door non-stop for about 25 minutes. After his fists were numb and bleeding, he stopped. Sasuke was obviously not home. Naruto frowned, having the urge to cry like a Charlie Sheen when his cocaine was taken away. Where could Sasuke be? All the shops in Konoha were closed for the night. There was no excuse!

Naruto sniffed, turning around to walk back home, when suddenly he slipped and fell.

"Oh fuck!" Naruto cursed as he fell down the hard and cold stairs that were made of steel. After his painful fall, he landed in someone's lap. He looked up to see who it was. Of course it was no one other than Sasuke!

"S-Sasuke..." Naruto whispered, blushing as his onyx eyes bored into his blue ones.

"Are you okay, Naruto? Wait, why the hell are you here?" Sasuke demanded, pushing Naruto off of him.

"Uhm, why are you here?" Naruto spat.

Sasuke huffed in annoyance, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I just went for a walk. Why are you at my house?" After seveal moments of intense silence, Sasuke glared at the blonde and spat, "Are you trying to break-in and steal my turtle figurine collection?"

Naruto stood up, brushing the dust off his queer-looking khakis. "No. I-I actually came to tell you something, Sasuke. I... I lo-"

"Wait, let's go inside first. It's hotter than the Rainbow Bar and Grill out here." Sasuke interrupted. The raven-haired male walked up the steps of the porch, pulling out his house-keys from his pocket.

Once when they were inside, Naruto sat on Sasuke's pink fluffy couch, waiting for Sasuke to give him the confirmation to speak. After Sasuke came back into the living room, he sat beside Naruto, looking at him lazily.

"Well? What do you have to tell me?" he asked.

Naruto breathed in deeply, ignoring his heart pounding in his chest, "S-Sasuke... I... I love - "

Suddenly, Naruto farted REALLY loud, making him completely forget what he was going to say to Sasuke.

"T-That wasn't me! That... that was... uhm..." Naruto stuttered, embarassed.

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a confused expression. "Naruto... did you just... fart?" Sasuke asked, his voice low and husky.

"Um, yeah... I'm sorry, Sasuke... I had beans earlier..." Naruto let out a small nervous chuckle and let out a small poot again. Naruto's eyes turned into saucers as he released yet ANOTHER fart.

Sasuke blinked. "That kinda turns me on actually, Naruto..."

"What? R-Really...?"

"Yeah, really."

Suddenly, Sasuke pulled down Naruto's pants and boxers, leaving his cock and butt bare to him.

"Sasuke! What the fucking hell are you doing?" Naruto screamed, trying to pull his boxers up.

"No, don't you dare. I want to see your body, Naruto." Sasuke whispered in the blonde's ear, nipping at his ear-lobe.

Naruto blushed, trying to hold back a massive fart.

Sasuke smirked deviously at the blonde. He had figured him out. Oh, damn it all!

"You need to fart, don't you Naruto?"

"Yeah, but it's embarassing, Sasuke..."

"Do it or else I'm gonna do the Souja Boy." Sasuke narrowed his eyes, growling.

Naruto's eyes widened. "No! Anything but that!"

Sasuke ignored his blonde friend and stood up, beginning to do the Soulja Boy, scaring the absolute shit out of the blonde-haired teenager.

"Oh, the horror! The horror!" Naruto screamed, releasing another huge fart. It was really wet, loud, and sloppy sounding. It pleased Sasuke greatly.

Sasuke watched as a turd flew out of Naruto's butthole and landed on the floor with a soft thud.

"Holy shit!" Naruto screamed, his face flushing with embarassment. "That isn't what it looks like!"

"Naruto, do you have the massive shits or something?" Sasuke teased.

Naruto glared. "You're the one who made me do it, you fag!"

Suddenly, a loud knock at the door was heard. They both jumped at the harsh knocks at the door. It was now 4 AM. Who the heck could it possibly be? Sasuke quickly darted to the light-switch and flipped it off, returning to his spot beside Naruto.

"Who the hell could that be?" Naruto asked, pulling his pants up.

"I don't know." Sasuke responded, peeking out the blinds, but it was too dark to see anything.

"What if it's the turd monster!" Naruto shrieked, hiding underneath Sasuke's coffee table.

"There's no such thing as the turd monster, you queer!" Sasuke snapped, throwing a lamp into the darkness, hitting Naruto in the head.

"Ow! You fucking bitch!" Naruto yelped, rubbing his head.

Suddenly the lamp got up and dashed out the backdoor of Sasuke's house, no one else noticing it.

"You're really fucking stupid Sasuke," a voice said from outside. "Turning the light off and pretending no one is home. How the hell could that fool ANYONE? Oh, yeah, and I can fucking hear BOTH OF YOU. I'm not the turd monster - and yes, HE'S REAL."

"Wait, I recognize that voice," Sasuke said, running across the room and opening the door. "Kakashi? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I just came back from a party with Jiraiya and Gai and I thought I'd stop by," Kakashi said, smiling behind his mask.

"At 4 in the morning?" Sasuke said, pointing to his wrist-watch.

"Well, yeah!" Kakashi turned to Naruto sitting on the couch awkwardly. "What's Naruto doing here?"

"We were just talking," Sasuke lied.

"Seriously, what the fuck were you guys doing before I... interuppted you two?" Kakashi asked, not giving up on the subject. He stook a step foward, hearing a loud SPAT! noise. He lifted up his foot, noticing shit on his ninja shoe.

"That's Naruto's shit," Sasuke stated.

"He took a shit in your living room? Well, that wouldn't be the first time..." Kakashi trailed off.

"Naruto ate too many beans today and he made a poopy on himself." Sasuke smirked.

Kakashi smirked behind his mask. "You are a legit dumbass, Naruto."

"I am not!" Naruto whimpered, tears forming in his eyes.

"Yeah, you are." Kakashi said cooly.

Suddenly that demented mothafucka named Kakashi pulled a cheeseburger out of his pocket and threw it at Naruto.

Naruto screamed in pain as the cheeseburger hit him hard on his head.

Sasuke glared at Kakashi, but said nothing. Sasuke wanted badly to defend Naruto, but he knew that he couldn't take on Kakashi; his sensei. He would get his ass kicked all the way back to Hong Kong... and he isn't even Chinese.

"Eat that you fat-fuck." Kakashi demanded, smushing it in Naruto's face. The older man then turned around and walked out of Sasuke's house quietly, saying a soft, "Good-bye!" to Sasuke before shutting the door behind him.

Naruto pulled some lettuce out of his spikey hair, embarassed by tonight's antics. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come over to Sasuke's after all. Now there was no way to admit his love for Sasuke now. Not tonight, at least.

"S-Sasuke? About tonight... I -"

"I'll walk you out, Naruto." Sasuke interuppted yet again.

"But, Sasuke, it's too late for me to walk home. Can I sleep on the couch or something?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, about to object to the idea.

"Please? I don't want to get gang-banged by a bunch of Konoha gangsters! You know, black people have big cocks and my butthole is really sensitive!" Naruto pleaded, giving him a puppy-dog face.

"Fine, Naruto," Sasuke signed. "But, please clean up after yourself before you leave in the morning, alright?"

"Okay, Sasuke." Naruto said with glee.

Sasuke turned around and headed down the hallway to where his bedroom was, shutting the door with a loud bang. Naruto just sat there awkwardly for a moment before laying down on the couch, pulling a pillow against his chest. He wished things would have been different. Kakashi just had to interrupt them while they were about to get to the good part. Naruto sighed, feeling tears form in the corner of his eyes yet again. He then spotted one of his turds across Sasuke's living room.

Naruto cried and crawled over to were the turd was... He then began to sculpt a small action figure of Sasuke out of the turd.

He smiled softly at the turd's face which reminded him of Sasuke.

"If only you knew how much I loved you, my sweet Sasuke..." Naruto whimpered, wiping away the tears that ran down his cheeks.

He then stood to his feet, his Sasuke turd action figure at hand, and placed it on Sasuke's mantel next to his turtle figurines. He knew that the action figure wouldn't last for long. During the winter, Sasuke would leave the fireplace on and it would probably melt the turd into a heaping pool of diarrhea.

Naruto then crawled back onto the couch, curling up, shutting his eyes peacefully. He had work in a few hours and he knew it was gonna be hell.

Damn it all.

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AN: I don't own Naruto. Hope you enjoyed, bitches and gentlemen.