Nobody even fucking ask... Humor is not my strong suit. At fucking all.
REQUEST COMPLETE!
Malec4ever: Dialogue with what is now the first two lines, and a lemon. (I'm under the impression it was also supposed to be funny. At least my failure is hilarious.)
"Jace! I don't want mom to find out because someone is shoving their dick up my ass!" Alec hissed at his brother.
"So you are a bottom!"
"Who's got a dick up their ass?"
Alec whirled around to face his mother, who had obviously only heard the dick and ass portion of the conversation.
"No one." he said, eyes wide.
Maryse sighed. "Honey, if you want have anal sex with your girlfriend, just make sure to stretch her first. We don't want to have to deal with an injury."
Alec turned beet red as Jace bursted into laughter. "That's not quite it."
"Jace!" Alec hissed.
Maryse's eyebrows came together in slight confusion as she looked at her sons with a hint of worry. "Oh... Okay then. Is there something you'd like to share, boys?"
Alec blushed and shook his head furiously, and Jace just continued to laugh. Alec hoped he would choke on that laughter and die. Bitch.
Maryse sighed. "Well, I'm going to work. I'll see you guys later," she said, kissing them both on the foreheads before departing.
As soon as she was gone, Alec turned to Jace. "What the FUCK?!"
"Dude, loosen up. oh wait, I forgot, your boyfriend is going to do that for you!"
Jace ran.
"It was awful," Alec blushed, pushing his face into his boyfriend's chest to hide from the embarrassment.
"I'm sure it was," Magnus chuckled, wrapping on of his long arms around the younger teen, pressing his face to his dark locks in a kiss that's meant to be comforting. But all Alec does is pull away. "Does that mean no sex tonight?"
Alec sighs, looking up at his boyfriend, not at all surprised by the heavy makeup and traces of glitter. "Hm..." He hums, turning the thought over in his mind. "I don't think we have to resort to that."
Magnus smirks, a chill-inducing expression that doesn't fail to get Alec's lips on the older boy's. Alec straddles him, knees digging into his bedding as his mouth is quickly taken over, his crotch rubbing against Magnus's in a way that would undoubtedly make his sister proud (not that he'd like to admit it). Their cocks are separated by a couple of layers of clothing, but Alec can still feel both of their cocks swelling up, the sponge-like tissue flooding with blood and reminding them both why it's called a 'boner.'
Magnus smirks into Alec's mouth, pulling off the fair-skinned boy's shirt, hands appreciating the hot skin for a second before groping at his ass, a thing Magnus loved from the moment he first set eyes on it. From the moment he first pounded into it...
Magnus pushed Alec up and over, turning him to lie on his own bed with Magnus just above, pulling down the blue-eyed's pants. To hell with going slow, Magnus decides, and it seems like Alec agrees as he pulls out a condom (the emergency one) from Magnus's back pocket.
"Knew you'd have one." The Lightwood mutters in victory and between heavy breaths.
"Mhm... You know you can keep your hands there any time you'd like." Magnus mutters in return, but sits up just a bit to pull off his skin-tight shirt while Alec goes for his pants. Leaning over his boyfriend, he kicks off the colorful material, and his mouth meets the man he's over 's neck, eliciting a gasp, as it always does. But it'll never get old, and it brings a smile to his lips.
Alec pushes Magnus back just a bit, focusing his attention on the member before him as he wraps it in latex. He's rewarded with a moan and Magnus's body dipping lower, lifting up his legs just a bit further. Magnus spits on his fingers, hastily shoving one into his boyfriend, whose resistance is miniamal after what they did last night. But despite how much Magnus just wants to fucking get off every time he sees the boy, he doesn't want it to hurt.
"Ugh, no lube," Alec complains as Magnus pushes in a second finger.
"I can stop now, if you'd like," Magnus offers.
"Like you could," Alec scoffs.
"Wanna bet?" Magnus asks, and for half a second Alec thinks he might be serious.
"No, now finish up so I can feel you pounding in me, forcing your dick balls-deep in my hungry ass. For Christ's sake, hurry the fuck up!"
He was only a wee bit impatient, but was nonetheless met with the groan he was expecting from the encouragement he was giving.
"Okay," Magnus says, and the fingers are gone, replaced with something longer and definitely more full. He pounds in like he owns that ass (because he kind of does).
It doesn't take long before they're both ready to give in to the climbing pleasure (not after previously mentioned activities that shall not be elaborated upon).
Sweat rolls from their glands as they practice the push-pull technique with their lower bits, pleasure putting them in a state of not-quite-there-ness. Their dicks squeeze out white sperm as they shudder with an onslaught of nerve frying sensations. Hell, it's like a fucking diner in their bodies, with all the damn frying!
They calm down for a moment, before a voice interrupts their peace of mind from the hall.
"I knew you were a bottom!"
Jace.
FIN.