Sorry for any mistakes - it's late and i'm tired, but i had to write this down and post it before i get too busy to do anything else.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (actually, i do, all three books are in my bookshelf) or the characters or anything else.

I stare in horror at the screen. My angel's face is twisted in pain, her eyes terrified as she shouts for me to stay safe. Terrified for me.

If it were any other situation, I would laugh at her. She's in a room with a sadistic vampire who is torturing her to death. And she's worried that I'm going to get hurt. I'd be laughing right now – if it weren't for her face.

That face had been directed at me on her first day of school – the day I very nearly killed her. The day her life was ruined because of my intervention. I had thought that Bella could never have that amount of fear in her face. But this video showed me the same emotion – the same terror, magnified tenfold.

I had to remind myself that she was alright – that she hadn't died. I was staring at the tiny screen, the screen that showed her limp body being flung back and forth, her muscles struggling against His.

I dial the number and hold my breath. I don't want anyone to know I called. Her voice is confused.

"Edward?" she questions, and then I hang up. She isn't dead. That just proved it. It's just a horrible movie – the blood is fake.

But the blood isn't fake. It's real and it terrifies me. If I lost control for a second, that could have been me. It would have been me, so many times, breaking her bones and making her scream. Only somehow I had kept control – so far. Watching this I am reminded of how easy it would be for me to kill her. How simple it would be to reach over and crush her when I only wanted to hold her hand.

I see the moment when he bites her hand – the one injury I missed. She is already unconscious – or so it seems. And then we came rushing in. Video-me pulls James off of her and snarls. Video-me snarls like He did when he was threatening her. And then Video-me crouches to my angel's side, begging her to be alive.

Real-me turns the television off. I don't have to watch the rest. Watch her screaming in agony as the change begins – and as I try to stop it.

And now I can't help but draw parallels between James and I. We both became obsessed with Bella. The obsession started with her scent, then moved into something much more. Admittedly – my obsession became love, and his turned into a desire to kill her. But I wasn't making those distinctions. She was in danger being near us – being on the same planet as us was life threatening for her. And yet she ran to us (true again, she runs to me out of love and to him out of a need to protect her loved ones, but again, I don't care). I have killed – killed like James. I have drank the blood of so many people, I have lost count. We have blood in our veins, James and I. I am just like him – a monster. A monster who is killing the only thing I love. I stand, realizing that I must leave – leave to protect her, leave so that she won't learn how much like Him I really am.

My cell phone is on the coffee table, and it buzzes softly against the hard surface. I glance down at it, and I can't help but smile. I sit back down in the couch. I am so much like him – I can't give up. I refuse to leave her. Bella calls me and I come running – but now I'm willing to make that distinction. I don't want to hurt her – I am not like him at all. When I look at her, there is only love in my eyes.

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