Hello to everyone! I was feeling really bored (again...) and I had this funny image jumping in my mind. So I made a fic for it.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. That would be just ridiculous...
ED AND THE METALLIC MALLET
"Do you know what always makes me wonder Al?"
Edward and Alphonse Elric were sitting on a bench in a park in Central. Ed was eating a sandwich while Al was feeding a few pigeons pretty near to them.
"Not really. What?" Al asked slightly interested. He loved spending time in the park just chatting with Ed.
"Have you ever noticed that Colonel Mustangs paperwork piles seem to be every time higher than the last time? I mean… he would suppose to work, but I'm pretty curious does he really."
"No, I haven't noticed. Maybe you're just imaging things. I've seen 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye making sure that he really works."
"He always says that he can't see me behind the paper piles, but lately it's been also hard for me to see him. Isn't that ironic? I never really believed him, but now I'm really starting to wonder how long he'll be able to see anyone in front of his desk." Al noticed that Ed seemed sympathetic.
"Why don't we go and try to help him getting rid of them?"
"Aren't you a little bump now, Al? He's colonel. We can't just go and read his papers, even if we would have a good purpose. Do you want to get arrested or something?"
"Oh yeah, sorry… I didn't really think about that."
They sat in silence for a while. A chilly wind made Ed shiver for a little and he pulled his red jacket a little tighter around him.
"Ed… did we think where you would sleep while we're at Central?" Al asked. His brother seemed a little tired.
"Errr… Not really?" Ed said blushing a little. "Maybe I'll just sleep on the bench and you'll guard our stuff, OK?"
"Outside? It's autumn, brother. Isn't it cold in autumn?" Al asked worried looking closely his brother.
"Cold? Don't be ridiculous, Al. It's not cold. And we won't be in Central for long." Just then another colder breeze happened to wave his hair and get him goose pimples.
"You're lying brother! It is cold! It's not fair that when I can't really feel it, you're lying to me about it!" Al was seemed offended.
"Don't be mad, Al, please! But it's late already, can't we spent at least one night out? Things could be worse."
"Forget it Ed! We're going back to headquarters and find if we can have a military room or something." Al wrapped his brother up from his chest and started walking.
"PUT ME DOWN, AL! I can walk on my own!"
"You'll just try to escape, I know you too well! I'm carrying you."
"No way! PUT ME DOWN AL! NOW!" It was already nine o'clock in the evening and in most of the buildings the lights were already out. Now, while Ed screaming furiously, some of the lights we're turning on and people were coming to their windows trying to figure out what was going on. Just then a flower-pot dropped from a balcony right in Ed's head, knocking him unconscious.
Al looked up and saw a furious, old and sleepy woman grabbing another flower-pot. He quickly stepped further away from the scary sight.
"Keep that bloody kid silenced, for god's sake! We're trying to sleep!"
"Yes, ma'am! I will!" he said and walked faster to the headquarters.
Stupid brother. He gets even old people angry to him! No wonder he has enemies. He could shut up even for a little moment, but no, he has to be that bloody loud! Unless someone knocks him out or he sleeps…
He walked through headquarters doors while people looking at him curiously. Just then colonel Mustang happened to come to the entrance hall.
"Alphonse? Why are you carrying Ed…?" he asked confused.
"Sorry, sir, that we're here so late, but my stupid brother forgot to get us a place to rest. And for why I'm carrying him, a lady knocked him out with a flower-pot on our way. He was being too loud."
Roy sniggered. "A lady, eh? He's so charming, isn't he, even ladies throw flower-pots at him… hehee…"
"Can you help us find a place to stay? A military dorm, perhaps?" Al asked, happy that his brother wasn't awake. God knows what would happen if Ed would just see colonel now… Al wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop it.
"Sorry, there's not any left. We have a bunch of visitors. I can't think a place where you two could stay", Roy said, really feeling sorry for the two boys. They were just kids, they should have a place to stay.
"Can't you think any place? Any at all?" Al asked sadly.
"Well… only my own apartment, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to stay in there."
"And why not? Can we come, colonel?" Al asked hopefully. Roy just stared at him.
"Do you have any idea how Edward might react?" Roy asked eyes wide because of a horrible image in his mind where Ed was beating the crap out of him with a huge metallic mallet. Not a pretty image.
"Probably just beat the crap out of you with a huge metallic mallet" Al said smiling cheerfully.
"How did you know I was thinking about that?" Roy asked.
"Know what?"
"About that 'Ed and the metallic mallet'."
"Oh, you were? I saw him doing that to one guy who called him small. Not a pretty image, but at least the guy didn't end up in hospital. Another guy wasn't so lucky, Ed-"
"Cut it, I really don't want to hear that story!" Roys face grew pale. It was a funny sight, he was so pale already. Al thought it was impossible for him, but apparently it wasn't.
"Well, can we come?" Al asked. If he would've gotten his body back, he would've made an adorable face, but now he couldn't. So he decided to make Ed help a little and lifted the boy in front of the colonel. "You can't just leave him out. It would be rude. I would tell Hawkeye."
Roy considered it for a moment. Ed seemed so peaceful while he wasn't conscious. Maybe he would be happy to wake up in a warm place. And Al was begging him. That didn't happen very often.
"OK, you can come. But you better behave."
Next day colonel Roy Mustang was lying in a hospital, because he'd got beaten up by a shrimp with a metallic mallet.
Thanks for reading!
Just for you to know: English is NOT my motherlanguage. And this is my second english fic. So please remember that. If you see spelling mistakes, I would love to know about them. Now review, please!