Okay, this is my very first Criminal Minds fic so I hope I did a good job. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or something. I stopped writing about 8 years ago, but I've recently picked up on it again. I'm planning on writing a multi chapter story, but I wanted to see what you guys think of this first. If you say, hell no don't do it, then I won't write it. If you say, hell yes then I will.

This fic was supposed to be a oneshot, but since it ended up on a 8k+ word count, I decided to devide it in two chapters. At first, I'd written it in third person, but I wasn't quite happy how it turned out. So, I complete re-wrote the story in Emily's POV. I wanted to give you guys more insight in her thoughts and feelings and the only way for me to do that was to tell the story through her eyes. Now I'm 85% happy with how it turned out. I hope you guys like it.

The song it's based on is I Want You Back by Natalia. I strongly suggest you listen to it, it's a beautiful song.

Also, I don't own anything! All rights go to CBS!

Okay, enough babble, here's the story!

Chapter 1: Realizations

Every night's a million years

Since we're not together

Time is crawlin'

Crawlin'

Even though we went to bed early, I can't seem to be able to find sleep. I'm tossing and turning until I end up lying on my back, staring blankly at the ceiling. I sneak a glance at the person to my right and let out a sigh. My life in London is pretty amazing. I have a job, I have a house, I have a partner. Still, that's not enough. There's something missing in my life and I know exactly what that something is. It's just not that easy to get it. Especially when, a few years ago, I decided to take the easy way out. The last case I worked on hasn't made it easier for me either. We had to find a killer who targeted blonde women with blue eyes, roughly the same age of someone I know back in Washington DC.

I was terrified that the killer we were looking for would decide to get on a plane to DC and kill a certain blonde over there. Clyde told me I was overreacting, but who wouldn't when you think the love of your life is in danger? On many occasions, I could turn off my feelings towards this specific blonde, but with cases like this, those feelings just grew stronger. I always believed that, with time, my feelings would subside, which is part of the reason I took this job in London in the first place. However, being away from my friend has been torture.

Letting out a second sigh, I push myself up and run a hand through my raven hair. I'm tired of fighting my feelings. Tired of hiding who I really am. Tired of not being with the woman I've always wanted to be with. Tired of pretending. I've always been able to compartmentalize cases, friendships, bad experiences, but not this. Not these feelings. When it comes to this woman, compartmentalizing just isn't an option. It doesn't work. There's not a single box she fits in, she's just everywhere inside my head.

I allow my mind to drift off to the very first time me and the blonde have been together. It was also the very first time I've allowed my feelings to take control of my actions, something that rarely happened. After Penelope Garcia, my cheery friend and technical analyst, had been shot, we all found ourselves in the hospital, waiting for news. I'd seen how Jennifer Jareau, obviously the woman who causes all these feelings, sat down on a chair, resting her chin in her hand. I had been the one to sit next to my colleague, to take her hand and to give her some comfort. She had gladly accepted the gesture as she turned her hand for me to take. After the case was over, I suggested I'd take her home. She hadn't said no. Allow me to take you back to that specific evening.

"Thank you for driving me home," JJ said to me as I turned the key to silence the engine of my car. I noticed her shift slightly in her seat, playing with the keys to her house in her left hand. Her right hand was resting on the inside door handle of my car. Her beautiful blonde hair partially covered her face, but I could tell she was biting her bottom lip. Something she used to do when she was nervous. "I know it's late, but ehm.. would you mind coming in for a moment? After the day we've had I really don't want to be alone for a while. Just a few minutes.."

"Sure," I smiled a little too eagerly and we both climbed out of the car. I clenched my teeth for a minute. What harm could a few minutes do? I pushed the lock button on my key until it made a beeping sound, indicating it was locked, and followed JJ towards the door. She stepped aside to let me in first and I walked through the living room, straight towards her kitchen. "You want some coffee?"

She set her purse on the kitchen table as she replied: "I'd rather have a glass of wine after a day like this. There's white in the fridge and red in the second cupboard of your right. You pick." I could feel her eyes staring in my back as I took the white wine out of the fridge and poured in two glasses. When I turned to face her, both glasses in hand, I noticed she was leaning against the kitchen island. "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked as I handed her one of the glasses.

"For everything today. For back at the hospital. I really needed that, so thank you." God that smile was beautiful. She sipped her wine and I could feel a smile grow on my own lips.

"It's fine, it's what friends do," I said and, unconsciously, I took a step closer towards her, leaning my hip against the kitchen island in a similar matter. My voice came out softer as I intended as I added. "It's been a rough day, you should try and get some sleep."

"I don't think I can." The sadness in her voice was evident as her eyes fell to the ground. I knew she was thinking back to the moment she'd gotten the news about Garcia. We were all shocked to find out. I swallowed as I reached out and gently rested my hand on her upper arm. She lifted her heavenly blue eyes to search my brown orbs to find a hint of what I was going to do. Hell, I didn't even know what I was doing myself. I took another step closer and set my glass on the table before slowly pulling her in a comforting hug. I felt her set her glass on the counter as well before she rested her head against my shoulder. It always amazed me how well our bodies seemed to fit together. I closed my eyes for mere seconds and, even though I couldn't see her face, I knew her eyes were closed too. "Stay."

It had barely a whisper, but I heard. It was such a bad idea for me to stay. I knew that I was developing feelings towards this gorgeous woman. I knew I was treading dangerous territory. I knew that there was no way I could ever say no to JJ. I knew that, if I decided to stay, there was no turning back. I also knew, when it came to JJ, I would do everything to keep her happy. I just wished I knew if she shared any of those feelings. So as I pulled back, I kept my arms around her waist while I studied heavenly blue eyes, desperatly trying to find a hint of what she was feeling. Her eyes were so focused on mine, watching me so intently that, even before I could find the answer I was looking for, I found myself replying, "Okay."

My smile grew wider as I see her lips curved into a smile of her own. She took my hand and lead me up the stairs, leaving the rest of our wine untouched. When we reached the bedroom, neither of us bothered to change into something more comfortable as I watched her climb into the bed. Once she was settled, I followed her lead and laid down besides her on my back. The weight shifted next to me and it didn't take long before I could feel her head rest on my shoulder and her arm drape across my stomach. Laying like this sent a jolt of love through my heart and I hesitated for a mere moment, before wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her close. It was going to be hard to hide my feelings. Especially as I could smell her shampoo and her scent. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the consequences this night had. In that moment, I could feel my feelings were getting stronger. The stronger they got, the harder it was going to be to ignore them. I also knew that, right now, we both needed the comfort. It'd been a long day and after a few minutes, we both drifted off to a rather peaceful sleep in the warmth of each others arms.

The next morning, we returned to work as if the night before never happened. Weeks later, I found myself telling JJ to go for William LaMontagne Jr. That was me, taking the easy way out.

Told myself I wouldn't call

Should've known better

Cause I'm fallin'

I'm fallin'

Catch my heart before it shatters

And make me live again

Taking my phone off the nightstand, I slip out of bed as silently as I can so I'm not waking up the person next to me. I descend the stairs towards the living room and make myself comfortable on the couch before scrolling through my contacts. The sight of her name flickering on my screen makes me pause. For a minute, my heart skips a beat just by reading her name. This is the moment, I'm getting her back. I scroll just a little further to the name I'm actually looking for and for te second time, I let out a deep sigh before dialing the number. When the call connects, I say: "I'm doing it, I'm coming back."

"Finally," the voice on the other end replies.

I let out a laugh. "Yeah, I know, it took me way too long." I get up from the couch and walk towards the dining room, where I stop to look at a picture of me and a blonde woman. "I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep living this lie. I'm coming back to DC and I'm coming back right now."

"I will set you up with a jet and I will pick you up at the airport myself. As soon as possible?"

"The sooner the better." I disconnect the call and stare at the picture a little longer as a smile spreads across my lips. I'm really doing it. I'm going home. Home to JJ, home to the life I've always wanted. I only hope she still wants me too. What if I'm doing the wrong thing? What if I put my heart on the line and she decides to just let it fall? I can't think about that right now, I have to do this. Even though it might mean my heart will be shattered in a million pieces. She needs to know.

I keep studying the picture. The way JJ's arms are wrapped around my neck, pulling me in a tight side hug. The way her eyes seem to lit up, not only with kindsness, but with happiness and even a hint of love. For a second time tonight, my mind fills with a memory. The memory of when this particular picture had been taken. It was right after the Dante case. JJ had gone to Gina's house to interview her by herself and at that point, we hadn't known she was a part of it. We all thought she was just the best friend of a victim. My heart had sank into my shoes when we found out Gina was behind it, all because of Ray, Dante's manager. Who, by this time, had whacked a freakin' shovel against JJ's head. A shovel for crying out loud!

We all rushed off to find JJ. I was absolutely terrified, especially since she didn't answer any of my calls. We didn't know what to expect, we only hoped JJ would still be alive. When we arrived at the scene, we ran straight to the backyard. There, we found JJ holding her gun at Gina while Ray was on the ground with a massive headache. I couldn't be more proud of our media liaison as I rushed to her to make sure she was okay. She had handled herself amazingly. Back in the jet, I had handed her a bottle of water before Garcia decided it was time for a much needed girl's night.

Wanna hear about it? Here we go.

"Hey you," I grinned as I opened the door for JJ to come in. Something was not right. I could tell by the way she was holding herself. Somehow, I could always tell when something was wrong with her. She quickly brushed past me to walk to the living room and I closed the door before following her. I decided to let her be for the moment and waved my Iphone in the air as I added, "Garcia's going to be half an hour later. Something about her car not starting. I bet you Kevin's the real reason though."

"He's probably holding her up with a massage or something," JJ laughed, trying to sound happy.

Everything about her said she was laughing. Her voice, her body, that was one of the perks of being a media liaison. She could hide her feelings like the best. But not for me, I could see it in her eyes. She used to have this gorgeous sparkle in her eyes, which I couldn't seem to find. Those bright blue eyes didn't laugh and she knew I knew. Her eyes were softer, almost sad even, and I took a few steps until I was standing directly in front of her. My hand reached out to carefully inspect the bump on the back of her head. I felt her flinch, but she didn't pull away. I knew there was still something going on between us since I told her to go for Will. Even though she had a baby boy, we still had moments. Moments that probably shouldn't happen when someone is in a committed relationship. "How are you feeling?" the concern in my voice is honest.

"I'm okay," she answered with her best smile, but I could see right through that. A genuine smile now spread across her lips as she knew her media liaison charade didn't work with me. "Okay, fine, it still hurts like hell. It's not like it's the end of the world though. It could have been worse. I just.. Ray took advantage of Gina, who was in fact powerless to his manipulation. When you can get a person to do such things..."

"I'm glad it wasn't worse though," I answered truthfully and against my wishes, I was allowing JJ to catch a glimpse behind the four solid, concrete walls I spent years building around myself. She's seen the flicker of love that reflected in my eyes, I could tell. My hands found their way to her shoulders as I continued. "And as for Ray, he's going to spend his entire life behind bars. What he did cannot be explained and we will never know why he made Gina do all those things. Gina was ill. She couldn't help it. She'd never gotten the proper treatment. Something was bound to happen, even if Ray hadn't been there." A small gasp escaped my lips as I felt her arms slip around my waist. I didn't know if she's picked up on it, but if she did, she's not showing it. Carefully, I wrapped my own arms around her neck, holding her close. "JJ.."

"Shh," she quickly replied, nuzzling her nose against the fabric of my shirt. This woman was freaking killing me. It was getting harder and harder for me not to act on my feelings. "Just hold me a few moments, Emily. I just want to feel safe."

I was about to reply when a knock on the door startled both of us and we jumped apart. If she didn't feel the same way about me, she wouldn't jump out of my arms, right? Right? Shaking my head, I ran towards the hallway and smiled to myself as a familiar voice called out. "Penelope Garcia, Queen of all knowledge is in the house!"

"Hey Garcia," I laughed and I opened the door for the happy blonde, stepping aside to let her in. "JJ's in the living room. What's that?" I pointed to the small bag, hanging over her shoulder.

"This, my dear friends, is a camera. We are going to take some pictures because it has been too freakin' long and I need them renewed in my little lair at work," Garcia explained and she set the bag on the table, taking the camera out.

I shared a look with JJ, noticing we were both equally amused by the technical analyst. I could even see the joy returning in her blue orbs, which brought another smile to my lips. "Come on, we go first!" She exclaimed as she stretched out her arm and took my hand in hers. She pulled me close and I was happy to see that the sadness had now left her eyes completely. A girl's night was just what we all needed, but somehow I found myself wishing it would've been just me and JJ.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in a tight side hug. She was almost squeezing the air out of my lunges, but I didn't mind. She could do to me whatever she pleased. "Okay, JJ, don't kill the profiler! We still need her, you know," Garcia joked as she held up the camera. I quickly slipped my arms around JJ's waist as we both bursted into laughter, giving Garcia the perfect opportunity to take the perfect picture.

And that's the story behind this amazing picture.

My phone beeps in my hand and a text message fills my screen.

- Jet leaves at midnight. London Heathrow. Can you make it? –

Grinning at the text message, I reply quickly while eagerly running up the stairs.

- Already on my way –

I quickly change into my clothes and inspect myself in the mirror. Belt buckle a little to the right, watch upside down, perfect. I walk into the bedroom and sit down on the empty side of the bed, before resting my hand on the man's back. He doesn't stir as I gently shake to get him to wake up, which could only mean two things. Either he is fast asleep, or he's been awake this whole time. "Mark, I need to talk to you."

"Time has come, hasn't it?" He questions, not turning around. Startled by his question, I lift my hand off his back and rest it in my own lap. I look at the hands in my lap and swallow hard. The silence on my part of this conversation causes him to turn around and face me. "You used to call out her name you know, when we were..." A blush forms on my cheeks. "And I was fine with it actually, because you were here in London with me and not in Washington with her. I guess it was only a matter of time when you were going to figure out where you'd really want to be."

"Mark, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen," I reply, finally looking up to meet his eyes. "I just can't help but feel this way. I guess I thought I could bury my feelings for her, but the longer I spend time away from her, the harder it makes me want to be with her. I can't ignore this anymore. I need to go back. I need to try and get her back."

"When does your plane leave?" He asks, pushing himself out of bed to grab a small red suitcase from above the closet. He opens it and lays it out on the bed, before turning towards the closet again to grab some of my clothes.

I follow his movements with utter confusion as I answer his question. "Midnight. What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm helping you of course. Everyone deserves to be with the person they love, so do you, Emily." When he finishes packing the most important things in my suitcase, he closes it and makes his way to the bathroom to change into his clothes. "I'm even driving you to the airport."

Taking in a deep breath, I walk over to this amazing man, stopping him from entering the other room as I rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to do that, I will get a cab. Thank you for everything you've done for me here in London." I press a kiss to his other cheek before taking a hold of my suitcase and rolling it to the door. Before I go downstairs, I turn around one more time, hand against the doorframe. "You are a good man, Mark. Someday you will meet a woman who loves you just as much as you love her. Goodbye, Mark." With that, I descend the stairs for the second time that night as I take my phone to call for a cab. My heart is racing inside my chest. I'm really doing this. I'm going back to DC to try and win over the heart of one Jennifer Jareau.

Have you figured ot who the mystery friend is?

R&R please!