And yet another contest entry: IchigoxIshida! My first shounen-ai story! :D I think I'm going to burst into tears of anticipation! :D
Or... something, anyways. As long as this story doesn't fall flat, I won't complain. XD
Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and will not own Bleach. But, like the majority of fanfic writers out there, I don't really care as long as the lawyers don't get me. :D
"If I'm nothing more to you than the dust caked on your shoes - so be it. I'll remain content and drunk on the knowledge that you have yet to scrape me off."
"Oi... Ishida... Are you sure this is right?"
Ishida spared a contemptuous glance at the Shinigami before tracing the figures over the table once more.
"Do you think I'm wrong?" His voice was saturated with disdain. "I could leave you here to solve this by yourself, if you want..."
The barely concealed threat hung in the air, subtle as it had been - charging the air with an energy full of static buzz.
Ichigo's shoulders slumped in a silent, but petulant, defeat. Hazel eyes searched over the mass of inky statics and figures once more. "...You're not much help anyways, Ishida." He muttered, allowing himself that tiny indulgence of a scoff.
"Is that why you called me over at two in the morning?" The faintest trace of emotion curled around the words, mocking and disdainful at it was.
"Shut up." The faintest hint of color touched the Kurosaki's cheeks, warming them to a stagnant crimson.
Ishida scoffed, sensing the faint want for normalcy between the two. How, despite everything, they still felt the faint stirrings of animosity spring up when they locked eyes - how the want for conquest drove them to their constant fighting, the consistent verbal spars that they played over and over again like a broken record.
"Should we continue?" His own voice dripped of sarcasm. "Or should we wait for your befuddled brain to catch up?"
The Kurosaki looked back at him sharply - weary hazel eyes glancing back at him with all the stamina of a rock.
Ishida sighed - letting the exhale of breath come out sharply, showing his clear exasperation, noticing that even then, Ichigo hardly flinched - instead looking up at him with bleary eyes.
"Let's take a break." Ishida allowed his gaze to wander from the scribbles and notes jotted down on scattered papers as he pushed his chair back from the desk.
Ishida felt the hard wood of the armrests as he held onto the murky wood of the armrest, reveling in the surreality of the moment.
How often was it that your mutual friendly enemy called you over to his place at two in the morning to help him with his math homework? How often was it that you'd help him brood over the problems - carefully pinpointing each formula and calculation with painstaking effort and patience? Exactly how many times did an archenemy help his sworn enemy complete his work, hovering over the sheet of problems with neverending patience and persistence to help?
Ishida felt his fingers digging into the hard wood of the chair as his brow furrowed in a contemplative line.
He felt a calm serenity enclose around him, drawing with it a peace he had never known existed, when he helped the other out, no matter how idiotic the Kurosaki proved himself - the little jerk of his heart when Ichigo was around, felt the warmth enclose around him even after the Kurosaki had left still remained...
"What's wrong?" The two words jerked Ishida out of his contemplative thinking.
"Nothing." His voice gave away nothing but a dead calm.
"Liar." Ichigo propped his head up on the desk with his elbow. Hazel eyes gleamed with a spark of interest. "Something's bothering you." The words sounded too much like an accusation to sound even remotely like a question.
Ishida sighed. "It's nothing, Kurosaki. Nothing to be bothered with, at least."
Ichigo was silent for a moment. "You seem pretty bothered by it, though, Ishida." Goading him - testing his defenses and wondering if they'd crumble under the pressure.
"It'll pass soon." His words were flat. "Should we go over the unit circle again?" He asked, changing the topic so they hadn't a chance to speak of the problem again.
"Yeah, yeah..." Ichigo muttered before relaxing. "Sure. I don't get the damned thing anyways."
"That's to be expected of you, Kurosaki. I'd be surprised if you did understand it without help." Ishida scoffed, allowing himself that tiny indulgence admist the yearn he felt, the soft thumping of his heart as it beat fiercly against his chest.
"Shut up." The reply was crude, but tart, with a venom of it's own. Hazel eyes glanced back sharply at the other, daring him to challenge his words.
Ishida shrugged noncommittally. "Should we start?" he asked icily as he brought the textbook closer, just to avoid the Kurosaki's burning gaze.
The hazel eyes softened with familiarity, clearly recognizing Ishida's gesture of understanding, embedded as it was in the harsh words. "Yeah, I guess."
"You remember the unit radius? We just went over it an hour ago..." Ishida murmured - realizing then that it'd been two hours of persistent studying that they'd just completed.
"It's kind of hard to forget when you were practically drilling it into my head." Ichigo replied dryly.
Ishida ignored the sarcasm. "The unit circle consists of a circle with the radius of one. And... the entire unit circle..." his pencil swept vaguely around the figure, flickering by the numbers. "...you have to memorize."
"What?" Ichigo's face fell. "But... The test is tomorrow, Ishida!"
Ishida squashed down the feeling that stirred briefly in his heart. "Just remember the radius, Kurosaki." Frustration flickered in his voice.
Ichigo's brow furrowed. "You mean..." Comprehension dawned on his features. "That was it?"
A wry smile graced Ishida's features, if only briefly. "What did you think?"
Ichigo glanced back at the problems. "I.... guess I can finish this now... By myself, I mean..." Clearing his throat to marr the imperfection in his words.
Ishida nodded curtly. "I should leave then." He stood up, adjusting his glasses as he spoke.
Ichigo smiled faintly, stepping up as well so he could stand away from the chair.
Silence ensued as the two locked eyes - both asking for an answer that didn't exist, that couldn't exist because it defied logic.
"...Thanks, Ishida..." The words were clear and precise, sounding almost rehearsed. "I... don't know what I've have done without you."
"Maybe you can repay me someday." Ishida offered. Maybe when he stopped loving - he'd ask for his help. Someday, he vowed. But knowing that he wouldn't mind if the vow was never fulfilled - content as he was to get drunk of the calm that enveloped him whenever the Kurosaki was nearby.
"You think?" Gratitute was mirrored in hazel eyes, but the emotion was now accompanied by a new one that Ishida was more familiar with seeing on the Kurosaki: amusement.
Ishida turned to the door - placing his hand on the doorknob with ease, feeling the broken lock button on the knob that was hidden just under the elaborate handle - one that he had noticed over time, remembering the numerous times that he had already visited the Kurosaki for trivial things: helping with the homework, stitching the lion plushie up again after Rukia had 'accidently' cut him up with the scissors when the plushie had made a comment about wonderful bust sizes...
"Bye, Ishida." The words were sincere and simmered with affectionate emotions that had probably arisen from the homework.
"Goodbye, Kurosaki." A farewell and then the door closed - a quiet, barely audible, 'twik' was heard as the door shut closed.
Ishida sighed as he trudged down the stairs to exit the clinic - remembering that just a few hours, Ichigo had accompanied him up the same stairs, complaining over the homework assignment and how incomprehensible it was.
Ishida quietly opened the front glass doors, revelling in the coolness of the night air as he stepped outside.
This wouldn't be the last time that he stepped out of the clinic - undoubtedly, another call would come in the form of another complicated assignment, or last-minute studying for a major test, or possibly in the form of a mangled lion doll with another broken ear and protuding bead eye.
I don't hate him. Ichigo's relationship with Ishida would be described by others as shaky and constantly broken with arguments - when in fact, their relationship was strong, not to be broken yet. The animosity between him at the Kurosaki would never die out - it never could. But, sorting through the harsh words and disdainful scoffs, there existed tranqulity amongst the two - a mutual peace that no one else could comprehend.
He would never say the words aloud - but the truth of the words existed. He didn't hate anymore - instead, a new emotion, the opposite of hate as yin was to yang, took it's place - exorably drawn to the Kurosaki in a way he could never understand.
Ishida stepped towards the shadows - slowly, but certainly, stepping away from the Kurosaki - radiating the calm sincereity he always did, but recognizing the missing warmth of the sincere calm as he was consumed in the darkness of the night.
"If only I understood, I would follow you. But, lost in the chaos of my thoughts, I murmured farewell and left the security of your presence."
This wasn't as short as I thought it'd be.... But maybe that's a good thing? :D
I don't think I'm going to pass this round of the contest... D: I did try, though...
This took me a while to complete. But it's still pretty confusing, I guess... I wanted this to be riveted on Ishida's thoughts. This isn't exactly unrequited love, but it's not really Ichi-loves-Ishi-back either.
I tried to forge a bond of love and friendship in this story - with a bond strong enough to pass as brotherly love, and yet not strong enough to resist the temptations of love. I probably didn't manage what I tried for - but... I did try. This took effort - and I hope you liked it.
Thanks for reading and please review! :D