Prompt- I still have your phone number memorized even though I haven't called you since we split up and somehow I remembered it even though I've had like six shots of bourbon and hey, I know you're pissed that you're here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that's pretty impressive

"Sei, I know s'early but I was… Wait, wha am I sayin'?"

"Mizuki? It's like 3am! I didn't even know you still had my number."

"I c'n rmemer it," what the fuck 'rmemer' was supposed to mean Sei wasn't entirely sure, but he sighed and rolled over, still holding his phone to his ear and aware of the sounds of activity in the background of the call, distant and tinny music playing somewhere. "L'sen Sei, I'm rlly drunk right now."

"I hadn't guessed," he either didn't register, or just chose to ignore his flat statement, horribly slurred words and lack of ability to form a coherent sentence proof enough, plus, why would he ring at 3am otherwise? They weren't, to Sei's prior knowledge at least, in contact anymore, at all.

"No no l'sen l'sen, Sei," the slur of his name was so ugly he held the phone away from him for a minute, grimacing and growing increasingly worried that he'd end up hearing Mizuki vomiting down the phone, he really didn't need that right now. "I really miss you, y'know? An-And I juss wanna say that I'm real- really sorry, I wish we could've made it work and I… I really love you still."

He could feel something inside him shrivel with his words, feel emotions he'd been hiding coming spilling out and his eyes were hot with tears already, not knowing what to say, just listening to him continue to ramble and not knowing what to do. Oh no, something in Mizuki's voice had broken and it sounded like he was crying, it had always been such a painful sound and even now he felt his tortured heart aching for him because he'd thought he was over it but it seemed he was as hurt as Sei still was.

"Where are you, Mizuki?"

"At some bar, I 'unno."

"Find out."

There was more background noise, voices, Mizuki asking remarkably drunkenly where he was and being answered by a mildly disgusted sounding woman, just the superiority in her voice as she addressed the bartender made Sei's hackles rise defensively.

"S'called bar twelve."

"Okay, that's the new one, right? Near Koujaku's?"

He didn't respond, but he did a quick google search and found that it was indeed that bar, and that it was in a very busy part of town, especially on a Friday night as it was, he cursed his heart all the way down the stairs, as he grabbed his keys and left the house.

Or he did, until Mizuki spoke, voice obviously wet with tears and so small that Sei just wanted to embrace him and make things okay again, "Sei, will you come get me?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll come get you," he could feel his throat grow thick as his brain supplied the words he was too sober to say, that he'd always gotten him before and that he always would, just choking the tears down and instructing Mizuki to go somewhere quieter and stay on the phone.

He was a mess, a huge mess, there was vomit on the floor next to him and he was so close to being unconscious that at first Sei genuinely thought he'd passed out, ignoring the onlookers who looked a mixture of amused and concerned and just stepping gingerly over the puddle to shake him into wakefulness.

"Sei? What're you doing here, we don't… we, we broke up."

"Yeah, I know, I'm taking you home. Can you stand up?"

"Wh- Why are you still so nice? S'not fair," Sei tried his best to ignore him, amazed as he got to his feet, swaying only a little and more than willing to lean into his side as he slowly, so slowly, led him away from the staring eyes who must have seen the water in his own. "Sei, m'sorry."

"It's fine," his voice was cold but god he felt warm for what seemed like the first time in forever, he could smell the bartender, and sure he smelt strongly of alcohol, vomit and cigarettes, but his usual scent still lingered underneath and it was like coming home. "Are you okay?"

"Feel sick, I drank too much."

"Hm, I can tell. Why'd you get drunk?" He had the feeling he knew why, knowing from experience that whenever you got drunk to forget, all you really did was remember it more, so if his drunk thought had been Sei, it was a safe bet that he had been in his thoughts all day.

"Missed you. Us," drunk words were sober thoughts and Sei wanted to be sick himself if only so he wouldn't have to hear this, to hear Mizuki talking like he wanted to try again, like he felt bad for the whole thing, like he was sorry for everything that led to this moment.

"God you're a mess."

"But thass why you love me, right?"

His heart stilled, not sure what he wanted to say, one part of him being truthful, saying that of course he still loved him, that wouldn't stop so easily, but the other half, the one trying to be cold and distant and to get over him wouldn't agree, telling him to lie, because he couldn't go through another break up like that one.

"Mm-hm, we're nearly back, then you can go to bed, okay?"

He sounded like a child when he spoke, arm on Sei's shoulders warm and firm, not aware of how suffocated the boy underneath it felt, how much he wanted to escape while wanting to turn into him and just hold him close and not let go this time. "I'm tired."

"Yeah, me too," but their words didn't mean the same thing and he knew if Mizuki was sober he'd understand why.

He had no idea where he was when he woke up, he had no memory of the night before, rolling over and wondering where the fuck he was in the brief moment before he blinked and rubbed gunk out of his eyes and realised. He froze first, because he could hear movement from behind him and he recognised the wardrobe he stared at, decorated with cut out sugar skulls in pastel tones and knew who wore the sneakers messily dumped on the floor.

"What did I do?"

He must have been aware he was awake, because he didn't jump even as he spoke, refusing to turn round because he knew what he'd see, what he'd seen for nearly two whole years before everything turned to shit and ended, Sei, curled up in the corner and reading a book. He heard him swallow thickly, eyes closed and following the movements he'd make in his head, moving the bookmark that sat between his teeth and wiping it clean on his pants, slipping it over the correct page and easing the book shut reverentially. But his next ones he wasn't sure, couldn't tell what expression he was pulling, whether he was annoyed and angry, or confused, or if he was biting his lip nervously, cuddled into himself small and protectively.

"You rang me, at three am, asked me to pick you up."

"Why did you?"

"I don't know." His voice was truthful, he really had no idea why he'd gone at all, why he'd gotten ready to go even before he asked, why he had even stayed on the line after he realised who it was and how smashed he was. "You were really drunk, I guess, you weren't in the nicest area."

"You were worried about me?"

"Yeah."

His sigh was long, realising he'd have to move at some point, because something about being in Sei's bed, knowing he must have slept beside him again, made his chest tight and he suddenly needed to get out of there where the smell was so familiar. He eased himself up slowly because his head was pounding, noticing the sick bowl on the floor beside the bed and cringing at its neon coloured contents.

"So, spill, what did I say?"

"All sorts, that you were sorry, you missed me. That- That you love me."

"Hm, nothing that isn't true then."

"Mizuki," there was something beseeching in his voice, pleading, in obvious pain, not sure if he wanted him to stop talking about this or whether he wanted something else to happen, a second go perhaps, but the bartender just eased his legs out of bed and sat on the edge with his head in his hands, not letting him finish his thought.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. Am I cool to use your shower?"

"Of course," his words weren't disappointed, but Mizuki knew he was, there was something in his tone he couldn't stand, something he recognised so well from the last time he'd seen him, when he'd finally moved the last of his stuff out of the apartment and left with a frosty goodbye and nothing more.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, only then observing his own dress, his jeans were fairly standard, understandably Sei had chosen not to strip him, and he was certainly glad of it now, but the shirt he recognised, eyes trailing the floor to find the white shirt he'd worn the night before. He turned then, hands playing with the edge of the red t-shirt and gazing questioningly at Sei, breath catching as he took in his puffy eyes, like he'd been crying, staring at the material but refusing to meet his eyes.

"You left it here, I meant to return it but I kept forgetting. Guess it came in handy," Mizuki just nodded like that wasn't a lie, like it hadn't been six months since they'd seen each other, that Sei couldn't have just binned it as he'd have every right to do, that he'd obviously never intended to return it. "There's clean towels in the bathroom."

And like that, he was dismissed, taking the sick bucket with him when he went, because really, the least he could do was try and fix this fuck up somehow, even if this was like plastering a collapsing wall.

He'd known to expect breakfast when he walked into the kitchen, and there it was, just the way he liked it and a black coffee sat next to it, Sei's own berry tea steaming where he held the mug against his face, hiding it as he entered the room awkwardly and sat down.

"Thanks, Sei, you didn't have to-"

"It's fine," his voice was a cold snap and Mizuki felt like it had tarnished his usual summery demeanour, but then maybe things had changed since they last saw each other, some things anyway.

He just ate silently, watching as Sei picked at his own plate absently, slices of fried mushroom being pushed around with his fork but not eaten, wanting to find something to say and coming out with the dumbest shit. "You're still vegan then?"

"Mm," he didn't know what else to say, eyes flickering from the clock to him then back again, as if he felt guilty for looking, he looked so small and sad where he curled into his chair, he wasn't smiling and cracking jokes the way he used to. This meal was sad, and even the food didn't taste quite right, putting his cutlery down too early, Sei noticing and his eyes narrowing because he might be trying to make everything seem normal but it wasn't.

"You not hungry?" The bacon left on his plate was proof enough of that, and Sei wondered absently if Mizuki was wondering why he had meat in his fridge in the first place, and eggs, wondering if he'd misunderstand his explanation.

"Vegetarian," he was obviously surprised by that, eyes meeting his in genuine surprise for a moment and the faintest of smiles playing across his lips before he forgot that this was all some bizarre rehearsal for a play long since ended and it died again. "You always wanted me to try it, figured I would."

"How long for?"

"About four months, it's pretty easy once you get used to it." Sei just nodded absently again and went back to staring blankly at the wall, expression not hiding his alarm as Mizuki sighed and leaned forwards in his chair, closing the space between then and reaching for his hand. "Look, Sei, can we just talk?"

He snatched it back in the most painful way possibly, letting Mizuki take it for a second and nostrils crinkling in the way he knew meant he was holding back tears, only to pull it back a second later, blinking hard, "I think you should go."

He just sighed, because what had he been expecting after all, draining his coffee and heading to the door, hearing the pad of socked feet behind him and knowing that after the door closed, this was it, no more Sei, no more them. "I'm really sorry about all this, Sei. Thanks for looking after me, I really appreciate it. And… I'll delete your number."

Another lie, it seemed that was all they were good at these days, Sei nodding as if he believed him when in reality he'd made a note of the bartenders number the night before, just in case, though in case of what he didn't know.

"It's okay, at least you got your shirt back."

"Yeah," he tried to smile but it faltered and died, sunny smile just not coming and taking a second to just look at Sei, to take him in as if this would be the last time he'd see him, which well it might, he hated seeing him like this, so hurt, so small and conflicted. Hated that he was the one who'd caused this, he was the reason his eyes were puffy and he looked so exhausted, was the reason he'd seemingly lost weight and looked almost frail. "I'll see you round?"

"Yeah." Lie number three, and the fourth lie? Well that was that he didn't want to look back even as he pretended just that, walking away with the sun burning into his throbbing head and his chest tight with unspoken words.

Two weeks later the t-shirt showed up again, neatly attached note reading thus, 'I know you liked to sleep in this. I'm sorry. If ever you want to talk, you know where I am.' He didn't know if it was the gesture, or the words that spoke so much love for him even now, or the kiss that marked the end of the note that did it, but he cried like it would never end, and perhaps, deep inside it never would.